How Do You Measure
by Anath Tsurugi
Summary: While working to lay the foundations for the new school, Charles and Erik must both deal with the effects of Charles' time in captivity, while Shaw and Onslaught make plans of their own. War may yet be on the horizon. Sequel to 'The Key To My Heart.'
1. Measure a Year

(A/N) Well, here we are at a brand new story. I ought to warn any potential newcomers that the story you've stumbled upon is a direct continuation of my other story 'The Key To My Heart', so you might be a bit confused if you just hop into this, but if you wanna see if you can follow it, be my guest. This story will not be as action-driven as the last one, but it will certainly have just as much angst…and there will be a great deal more fluff in this one to balance it all out. I didn't cut you all enough of a break in the last one. So, let's see how this story turns out.

**How Do You Measure…**

_Chapter 1: Measure a Year_

Christmas came late to the Xavier household that year. With everything that had happened…Charles' kidnapping and torture at the hands of Shaw, the ensuing healing period, the addition of a new mutant to the group, and the like…the mansion's inhabitants had simply forgotten about it. More than likely, it would have been gift enough that they were all together and mostly healthy after the events of the past few months, but Charles wouldn't let it go once he'd remembered what time of year it was. As such, the ragtag family was very surprised to find gifts waiting for them in the kitchen on the day of New Year's Eve…mostly practical things, but suited to each of them, nonetheless. The favored gift among all of them was the French toast Erik made for breakfast. They were also excited to see Pele, their newest and youngest member, receive a new winter coat.

While they were all admiring their books and clothes and the like, Charles came up behind Erik, who was in the process of cleaning up the breakfast dishes. Giving his ear a quick kiss, he used the distraction to slip something around the metal-kine's neck.

"What's this?" he asked, glancing down. He'd immediately sensed it was metal, so he summoned the object up to examine it. It was a circular pendant hung from a slender metal chain. The disk was mostly featureless, save for the words inscribed on it.

_Doubt thou the stars are fire,_

_Doubt that the sun doth move,_

_Doubt truth to be a liar,_

_But do not doubt I love._

"I had it made for you," Charles said, grinning softly. "I couldn't stop thinking about it…after that day in the garden. Somehow, it…seems more fitting."

"Than what?" Erik asked slowly, still admiring the pendant.

"Well…than a ring, I suppose," Charles said, his face reddening slightly, though he continued to smile.

Erik turned to the side, giving Charles a quick peck on the cheek. When Banshee happened to see this, he quickly burst into the old playground song.

"Ooh, check it out. Erik and the professor sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-"

Moving almost faster than the human eye could track, Erik used his power to raise a knife from the counter. Without even turning to look at the boy, he flung the knife across the room, stopping it mere inches from his face.

"And that's the end of that," Erik said, his lips twitching into a satisfied smirk.

The redhead let out a strangled, "Eep!" before slowly backing away from the levitating blade and bolting from the room. Havok let out several good chuckles.

"That was good, man," he complimented Erik before heading after Banshee.

"Erik," Charles chastised him quietly as the knife drifted lazily back over to them. "We mustn't be setting bad examples. There are impressionably young children in the room."

The scold, unfortunately, was lost on Erik, as the only thing he could see was the fact that Charles' blush had deepened significantly.

_What are you thinking about?_ He asked, quirking an eyebrow.

Once Banshee had started the rhyme, Charles hadn't been able to help finishing it in his head.

_First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in a baby carriage._

Never having heard the rhyme before, Erik raised both eyebrows in interest.

_Well…we've got the love thing down. Don't know what we can do about the rest._

Charles smiled weakly at this. _No need to worry about that. We've got children enough around here…and there will be more before too long._

_True enough,_ Erik agreed, feeling a small, secret smile light up his face as he went back to work. The cold metal pendant was already starting to warm against his skin.

XxX

When James Howlett pulled off the highway with his brother to take a quick leak and a smoke, the absolute _last_ thing he'd expected to find upon returning to his motorcycle was a young girl draped over the bike…and yet there she was, her sinuous body draped all over the thing like it was a couch.

"Hey!" he shouted. In one fluid motion, she was on her feet, ready to spring. Her skin was pitted with several old scars and her brown hair was long, wild, and matted. This feral look was completed with what appeared to be a dress made from some kind of animal fur…wolf, unless he'd missed his best guess.

The girl snarled at him, beginning to circle him and Victor, the classic stance of an animal ready to defend its territory.

"What the hell…" Victor muttered, watching the girl just as closely as James was.

"I don't know," he muttered right back, slowly raising his hands. As a gesture of peace, it meant little coming from him, but she didn't have to know that. "We're not gonna hurt you, kid," he said slowly, for that was what she was, a teenager…barely come into a woman's body.

The girl just continued to snarl, and when James attempted to take a step forward, she raised a hand in the air, fingers contorted like claws. Instantly, James felt as if a large hand had wrapped around his heart and was squeezing. Dropping to his knees and clawing at his chest, he resisted crying out for as long as he could, but it was a losing battle.

"Jimmy!" Victor shouted, attempting to rush the girl, but a flick of her other hand easily threw him back several feet.

Meanwhile, the thing that gripped James' heart only tightened its hold, and he ultimately felt the thing literally _burst_ in his chest. Giving one last shout of agony, he dropped to the ground, breathing erratically.

Thinking James was down for the count, the girl turned her attention to Victor, but when her intended prey gave her a triumphant grin instead of the fear she was used to, she turned back to find that James had already gotten to his feet. Looking extremely annoyed, he bared his claws for her, thinking he might know what the deal was.

The girl stared at the bone claws for several minutes before looking back up at James. Raising her hands again, her stance decidedly less offensive this time, several stones rose from where they rested beneath the snow, drifting lazily through the air.

"She's a mutant," James said as Victor came around to stand beside him.

"Damn strong one, too," the elder brother said, giving his neck a satisfying crack.

Slowly releasing the stones, the girl pressed her hand to her heart. "L…l…li…liii…k… like…mmm…mu…me," she said, struggling with the words…as if she'd forgotten how they fit together.

"Got a name, kid?" James asked her.

For a moment, she looked confused. She tilted her head from side to side, her eyes distant, searching for meaning in the disparate sounds. But then a light seemed to come on and she nodded.

"A…Aaaarrph!" she started, the vowel turning into a wolfish yip about halfway through. She clamped her hands over her mouth and shook her head. "Mm-mm, mm-mm."

"'s'okay," James said gruffly, trying to be as non-threatening as he could. "Keep tryin'."

"Aaaaart-t-t-t…tem-m…mi…miiis. Arte…mis," she stuttered, not quite able to get the whole thing out at once.

"Artemis?" James repeated. She nodded.

"Well, nice to know you, Artemis, but we've got places to be," Victor said, starting to head back for their bikes. They were heading down to D.C. to enlist. The U.S. was preparing troops to deploy in Vietnam…another war to be fought. There was always another war.

"Can we really…just leave her here?" James wondered, watching Artemis watch them.

"Obviously, she's survived long enough to forget how to talk."

"I dunno. Somethin' about it just…rubs me the wrong way."

"What would we do with her, Jimmy? There _is_ no place for kids like her. Never has been. You know that. She's gotta learn to be on her own. Seems to be doing pretty good from where I'm standin'."

Even though he knew everything Victor was saying was true, there was still something about the whole situation that nagged at him. Was there really nowhere else for Artemis to go? He and Victor at least had each other. Did Artemis really have to be alone like this?

That was when he remembered.

"What about those two suits who were sniffin' around a few months back?" he suggested. He'd told them off pretty thoroughly, but they'd gotten to Victor later that same night and actually managed to give him some information. He'd been interested at first…until one of them specifically stated he didn't mean for there to be any killing. He had lost Victor then and there. James had been in time to hear the end of this conversation, and it was only because he'd been so bothered by the fact that Victor was disappointed by the potential lack of bloodshed that one of the men had been able to leave contact information with him this time around…incase they changed their minds.

Victor rolled his eyes. "If you really wanna go to all that trouble, fine. Dunno if you'll ever be able to find 'em again, though…after all the shit that went down in Cuba."

"It's worth a shot," James said, joining his brother next to their bikes and mounting his. "Besides, it's not like the war'll be over before we get to that recruiting office."

As Victor climbed onto his own bike, James throttled his to life. For a moment, Artemis looked like she might flee back into the woods, but some deep-rooted interest in the machine kept her there. It was curiosity over this strange beast that had first drawn her out of the forest, after all. James held his hand out to her, indicating she should join him.

"Come on, kid."

Moving cautiously…slowly…Artemis approached the bike. James was patient, allowing her to be curious as she rested her hands on different parts of the motorcycle, feeling its hum with a tiny look of exhilaration. It was a look he recognized, because he'd worn it himself. Even though the sensible part of her feared what must be a dangerous predator in her mind, she couldn't help but be enticed by it.

"You comin'?" he asked after a time, patting the spot in front of him. Seeing his gestures, Artemis took an involuntary step back.

"N…nnn…nno!" she barked out, her eyes wild. "C-c-can…can't…gu…go…bu…baaaa-ck – back. Tuh…too…d-d…daaaan…nuh…gerrrr- arrph!" Again, her voice morphed into the wolf yip halfway through. She shook her head in frustration. "Dan…ger."

James shook his head. "It ain't like that, kid. I'm gonna take you somewhere safe."

For a moment, Artemis turned to look back into the woods. She threw her head back and howled plaintively. Several distant howls answered her and the two brothers couldn't help but shiver slightly. When the chorus of howling finally let up, Artemis turned back to them and, with a little help from James, climbed onto the bike in front of him.

James knew it was dangerous to be riding like this, but really, it was also dangerous to be riding without a helmet and he just couldn't bring himself to care, as there was nothing to be done about it. It was the first time in a long while he'd been in the company of someone who actually _could_ be hurt by a motorcycle crash…and even if Artemis _knew_ it was dangerous, there was no fear in her. James couldn't see her face, but he could feel her excitement in the way her body crouched over the bike…could _smell_ it coming off of her as the wind whipped through her wild hair.

Normally, such childish joy might have irked him, but he couldn't help feeling a little nostalgic…because he also remembered what it was like to ride a motorcycle for the first time.

XxX

_He's in his room. The last vestiges of daylight can be seen outside the window. He hears the door opening and when he turns to look, he half-expects to see Erik…but that's not who enters the room._

"_Hello, Charles."_

_He knows the blazing blue eyes…and the cocky grin. How can he not? They are his own, after all._

_Onslaught._

"_You…can't be here," he says, not looking at his counterpart._

"_You know that isn't true. The unconscious mind is completely separate from the conscious one. Maybe your precious protégé's barriers can bar me from your conscious mind…from the outside world…but you will never keep me out of your dreams. I'm sorry to say, my dear, but I'm here to stay," he says, closing the door behind him as he enters the room. _

_As Onslaught moves toward him, Charles tries to move away. That's when he realizes he's back in the chair._

…_helpless…_

"_You don't need to pretend for me," Onslaught says as he kneels in front of the chair, grabbing the armrests and pinning Charles there. "I know you're afraid."_

"_Terrified," he answers honestly. What else can he do?_

"_Not…specifically of **me**, though," the other him notes, his smirk widening in interest._

"_No," he answers, maintaining his calm. "I'm afraid that this thing…this **creature** before me…really is me."_

"_Indeed," the other says, leaning in close to whisper in his ear, "The only you there is."_

"_No…not the only," he whispers back, his throat going dry with fear. Onslaught's close proximity is starting to awaken the ungovernable terror…the crushing fear that sudden physical contact inspires…the fear **Shaw** taught him to feel._

"_Heheh, yes. While you may deny who you are, the fact that we're here like this speaks volumes about what you really want," Onslaught says, running a hand through his hair. Charles shudders in disgust._

"_That doesn't matter. You could have chosen any setting you wanted for this."_

"_I didn't choose this, though, Charles. **You** did," Onslaught hisses, seizing Charles' face in his hands. "Unconsciously, you **chose** to face me like this…in the chair…the symbol of your greatest **weakness**. It means that what you want…what you **truly** want…is never to be that weak again, and with **me** at your side, you never would be. You would never be powerless again. You would have the strength to protect the people you love from Shaw. Isn't that what you want?"_

"_That **is** what I want," he says quietly, trying hard to hold himself together as he stares up at his fiery other. "I just…**can't** want it…the way you're suggesting. You would harm more people than you would save. It's your nature to destroy."_

"_Not so, Charles. It's my nature to destroy what's hurting **us**."_

"_You tried to kill Pele."_

"_Only because she was going to kill Erik. That would have made you sad, wouldn't it…if Erik had died that night…trying to save your pathetic life?"_

"_It would have. I doubt I would have ever recovered," Charles says, his voice still calm, though his body trembles with unspent fear, sorrow, and self-loathing. "But Pele shouldn't have been the one to pay for that. She's just a child. She doesn't know any better."_

"_It felt **good**, though…**didn't** it?" Onslaught demands quietly as he forces a knee between Charles' legs. "To take control of your life…to fight back against something that was causing you pain…to not be so **weak**?"_

"_I don't **know** how it felt," Charles bites back, his face sweating with the effort of keeping himself together. "It was **you**, not me."_

_Onslaught chuckles darkly at this, pressing himself as close against Charles as he's able. "I can see I've got my work cut out for me. You just don't want to see what we could be together…but you will, Charles. I promise you. You will."_

Erik was in action almost instantly when the screaming sounded in his head. His eyes snapped open and he rolled over in bed, seeing Charles writhing beneath the blankets next to him. Sitting up, he quickly grabbed hold of the younger mutant, pulling him into his arms and holding him tightly against his chest.

"Wake up," he urged fiercely, shaking the telepath as he held him. "Charles, _wake up!_"

With a gasp and a jerk, the psychic screams stopped and Charles was awake, breathing heavily in his arms. As he slowly started to remember where he was, he brought his arms up, wrapping them around Erik and clinging to him as his racing heartbeat began to slow.

"What was it this time?" Erik asked him, running a soothing hand up and down his back.

"Onslaught," Charles said quietly, not looking up at him…just resting his head against his chest and listening to the steady sound of his heartbeat.

"Just a nightmare…or was it really him?" Erik asked, fighting the urge to tense, lest it set the telepath off.

"I'm not sure," Charles mumbled. "It could have been just a nightmare…but it could have been him, too."

"Can he do that?"

"Probably. The unconscious and the conscious are completely different fields. What applies in one won't necessarily apply in the other."

"What did he say to you?"

Charles tensed slightly at this. What could he say to it? His first thought was to protect Erik from the demon in his head…but this was swiftly followed by all the times he'd scolded the metal-kine for keeping things from him. He couldn't start this relationship by keeping things from Erik. If they were going to help each other, there had to be trust. Without that, there couldn't be love.

So Charles let Erik see. He gave him the entire encounter…the helplessness he'd felt…the fear and self-loathing…the sorrow…and the anger…the anger at all the other emotions.

"Is there…anything I can do?" Erik asked, rather than pass any sort of judgment on the things he'd seen.

"Just this," Charles said, nuzzling a little closer, drawing strength from the feeling of Erik's skin against his. "Just wake me up…keep waking me up."

"I can do that," Erik said, burying his nose in Charles' luscious hair.

Before either of them could say anything more, the door cracked slightly and Mystique's voice drifted into the room.

"Charles? Everything all right?"

"It's all right," Erik called to her. "I've got it."

_I've got you,_ he soothed the telepath as the shape shifter quickly bowed out.

"Thank you," Charles murmured against his chest.

XxX

It was about a week later that Erik and Charles had their first session with Pele. The three of them gathered in the library, all on one couch with Pele sitting between the two men.

"So how's this going to work?" she asked Charles impatiently.

"We're going to go through your memories of your time with Shaw…perhaps even back further than that, if you think you can handle it."

"Handle it?" she scoffed. "What do you think you can show me, Professor? After Sebastian, I do not fear pain."

"What _do_ you fear, then?" Charles asked quietly, taking one of her small hands in his.

For a moment, Pele looked indignant, as if she were offended by the very idea. So she looked Charles square in the eye and said, "Nothing. I don't fear anything."

Charles sighed. "If you insist. I suppose you're very close to being truly fearless. We'll see. I promise you I won't look at anything you don't want me to."

Pele shrugged. "Look at whatever you want. I don't care."

Nodding, Charles placed several fingers against the girl's left temple. Making certain Erik was with him, he connected them both to Pele's mind.

The outermost layer was made of fire and rage…the hate and the pain that fueled her power…that made her Pele. It was very much like the border that surrounded Erik's mind.

Briefly, Charles felt her struggle when he attempted to go deeper, but he was patient…waited for her to let him in.

Pele was practically immune to pain. She hadn't felt it for a long while…neither was this because she'd created a psychic block from her body's pain receptors, as he himself had done. She liked to let herself feel it, knowing she could bear it. He had to dig through several memories of brutal physical conditioning and violent psychic sessions with Emma in order to find her last memory of true pain…but when he did, he almost wished he hadn't.

He saw flashes of Pele in a cell very much like his had been. The memory itself was incomplete because Pele had blacked out fairly often during the experience, but had been forced back to consciousness by Emma. Charles had seen this moment before…but now he could feel what Pele had felt.

_Sebastian…had told her…what this was meant to be like…but her body just wasn't mature enough to withstand it yet. Her whole world was __**pain**__. It began between her legs and spread outward in undulating rings…and no matter how much she screamed or cried, it wouldn't stop…not until he'd finished._

Pele had forgotten pain that night. Pain and tears had brought her nothing and they _certainly_ wouldn't save her…therefore, she had to carve them out of herself. It had been the only way to survive.

_No_, her voice suddenly sounded in his head. _No more._

Charles withdrew from her mind immediately. When normal sight returned to him, he saw Pele sitting beside him, still as a statue, with tears spilling silently down her face.

"I'd forgotten…" she whispered, her voice containing no trace of the tears on her face. "I'd forgotten…how it felt. Why did…you make me remember?"

"Because you _must_," Charles said gently as he took the little girl in his arms. "In order to know…why you don't allow yourself to feel…we have to go back to the reason you stopped."

"Why should I…_feel_?" she snarled, though tears continued to pour down her face. She remained stiff in Charles' embrace, but she didn't fight it. "It's…_pathetic_!"

"No," Erik's voice interrupted. "There's nothing _less_ pathetic."

Then Erik wrapped his arms around Charles' shoulders, being careful of Pele, and the two of them held her, while simultaneously holding each other. All three of them cried…though not necessarily outwardly.

It was late in the day when Pele had finally cried all her tears, and Charles used the sleeve of his sweater to wipe her face dry.

"Don't worry. We don't have to do this again until you feel ready."

"What about the two of you?" she asked, managing to summon up a tiny portion of her earlier indignation. "I thought I'd be seeing some of your memories."

Before Charles could answer, his attention was drawn by some new and very different types of minds entering the grounds of the mansion.

"It will have to keep until later. Right now, I believe we have some company."

XxX

Hearing the motorcycles, the others followed Charles, Erik, and Pele out into the main courtyard as they drove up. Charles was getting profuse thoughts from Banshee and Havok about how cool they were.

Charles and Erik both recognized the two men immediately…difficult to forget encounters like that. The girl was new, though…and her thought patterns were by far the strangest Charles had ever encountered. He had attempted to read animal minds before, and her mind was something like that…her thoughts molded around survival with little that was more complex. There _was_ something more concealed beneath this animal mind, something human, but it was buried deeper than he cared to venture without her permission.

"Change your minds?" he asked with a friendly smile.

"You can go right back to fuckin' yourself, Xavier. We didn't come here for you," James said as he dismounted. The girl scurried off right after him.

"How did you find us here?" Erik asked, suspicious, even though they were fellow mutants.

"Wasn't easy," Victor growled, remaining defiantly on his own bike, signifying he did _not_ intend to hang around.

"Had to track down MacTaggert after we found out your division was defunct. _Really_ wasn't easy."

"_How?_" Erik repeated dangerously, matching James' gruff tone. "No one should be able to find us."

"You're kinda hard to miss, bub," James fired back. "Big place like this."

"If you-"

"_Erik_," Charles interrupted calmly. "Let it be. They won't turn us in…and frankly, heaven help the poor soul that tries to make them."

Erik threw Charles an incredulous look, but once he'd seen the certainty in his lover's eyes, he was finally able to rein himself in.

"Don't go worryin' your pretty heads over it. No one's gonna follow us here," Victor grumbled.

"Thing is…we just came to bring _her_ to you guys," James explained, leading the girl toward them. She was reluctant at first, standing slightly in the man's shadow, but Charles met them halfway. She wasn't that much shorter than him, but he still bent down to her height so he could look her in the eyes.

_Artemis…_he began slowly. The teen's head darted wildly about when his voice sounded in her head, but he waited patiently for her to calm down, his thoughts gently directing her attention back to him.

_It's all right. You'll be safe here. You don't have to hide any longer._

Artemis shook her head as she stepped out from behind James.

"Nnnnnno…I…me…dan-ger…"

As Artemis struggled to speak, Charles received one very distinctly human thought from her head.

_**I'm**__ the one who's bad!_

_Artemis,_ he continued, still moving slowly. The girl was delicate right now and any wrong moves could send her bolting for the trees. _You're most certainly not a bad girl at all. A bad person isn't capable of thinking of himself as bad. If you want, I can help you understand yourself a little better. We're like you, Artemis. We're mutants._

An odd expression twisted Artemis' face at this…as if she weren't used to making facial expressions. It was twined somewhere between hope, fear, and sadness. For a moment, she looked like she might cry, but instead, a quiet howling noise began in her throat, sounding something like a whining dog. When Charles offered her his hand, she continued her soft, mournful howling, but she took it.

"Well…looks like you're gonna be all right here. See you around, kid," James said before turning back to his bike.

"Why _did_ you bring her here?" Erik asked him before he could hop back on the motorcycle.

James hesitated a long while before answering, and when he finally did, he didn't turn to face them.

"She's a kid. She shouldn't have to be on her own."

Then the two brothers got onto their bikes and motored off down the road. Artemis was saddened by the departure, but she understood. She had known this was coming.

"So what is she?" Pele asked bluntly as Charles led Artemis to them.

"A tele-kine," Charles explained. "The movement of physical matter through mental power. A strong one, too, unless I miss my best guess."

"Which is pretty much impossible," Mystique said with a smirk.

Artemis quirked her head to the side when she saw Pele…a slightly confused looked on her face. As she watched the way the little girl shifted, and the air of impatience that seemed to follow her everywhere, Charles received the very distinct picture of a wolf pup in his mind and couldn't help chuckling.

"What's so funny?" Pele demanded petulantly.

"You remind her of a wolf pup," Charles answered, still grinning. "A wolf pup who hasn't had its first hunt yet."

None of them could help chuckling at this, except Erik and Pele herself, whose face actually turned slightly red. Embarrassed, the seven-year-old marched up to the teen and jabbed her in the stomach with her pointer finger.

"Listen, wolf brat! I've hunted more than you might think, so I won't have that sort of patronizing tone from _you_."

Artemis wasn't at all offended by the jab or the shouting. She just continued to stare in confusion and vague fondness.

"I don't know that Artemis is capable of patronizing anyone, Pele. She doesn't think like that. She just sees you as inexperienced…but she knows this will change," Charles explained, looking to Artemis herself for confirmation he'd gotten it right. She nodded. She couldn't express herself very well verbally, but she seemed to understand them.

"Inexperienced, my _arse_!" Pele snipped before stomping back inside. Artemis followed her progress with the same look of fond confusion on her face.

"All right, everyone, back inside," Charles said, following Pele's lead. "We ought to be eating soon. I think the first thing we need to do, though, is see about getting Artemis some proper clothing. I don't see how you haven't frozen to death before now, my dear."

Artemis followed the small family without question. While she was still afraid for some unknown, intangible reason, she was also a creature of instinct…and her instincts told her this was a safe place.

XxX

(A/N) So how's this new one working for you? Still riding on the excitement of the last one? Eheh. A few notes to leave you with before I depart for the next chapter:

**James and Victor:** Yay, cameos! It occurred to me that the time Charles and Erik came across Wolverine should have been around the time he was still with Victor, going by that continuity (and I want to, because despite what people say, I actually enjoyed that movie. _Please_ don't let that affect your reading of my work. (sweatdrop) To each, their own, as they say.). So I figured I'd explore that some.

**Artemis:** Don't worry. This won't be an OC infested story. Artemis will be the last one for a while. I thought about introducing her in the last story, but it didn't seem to fit quite right. She and Pele were conceived together as characters and they have a great deal to do with each other, so we'll just see how it all works out.

Hope you're all still enjoying and I certainly hope to hear from you. Now to work on chapter 2.


	2. Cups of Coffee

(A/N) Thanks to those of you who favorited and alerted, and extra thanks to all of you who reviewed, plus some yummy cyber chocolate. New chapter for you!

**How Do You Measure…**

_Chapter 2: Cups of Coffee_

The rest of the evening was…an interesting proposition, to say the least. While Erik prepared dinner, Mystique and Destiny took Artemis up to their room, hoping to get her into some of Mystique's clothes. In the process of getting her out of the fur dress and into a skirt and blouse, they saw all of the old scars crisscrossing her body, and when they got her to say they were from her family, they made a note to ask Beast to take a look at them later. The outer wear didn't seem to bother her as much; it was the undergarments she had a problem with. All throughout dinner, she was constantly pulling at the clothing. Charles couldn't keep from chuckling when he inadvertently heard her liken the bra to a steel trap.

Thinking it might be something she'd be more familiar with, Erik made steak for dinner. They could all tell she thought it looked good, but for the longest time, she just stared morosely at her plate. Charles heard her mental wish to just tear into the offering, but he shook his head when she looked at him.

"No, Artemis. You know how to use them. At least make an effort, please."

Whining briefly in resignation, Artemis picked up her fork and knife and began to cut into the steak. She could handle the knife, but she had no finesse with it and still ended up with relatively large pieces, so it ended up being a cross between her way and their way of eating…partially cut, but still tearing chunks from the cut pieces with her teeth and chewing messily.

It was after all these painful niceties were concluded that Artemis, Beast, Charles, and Erik all wound up in the lab so that Beast could run some physical exams on Artemis.

The wolf girl was very comfortable in her own skin and flat out refused when Beast offered her a hospital gown. If anyone was uncomfortable, it was Beast himself, because Artemis was so fascinated by his physique…especially the fur.

The first order of business was the scars. She didn't seem to understand when Beast asked her if she'd been abused, so Charles hesitantly showed her a few scant images of his time with Shaw. This she understood, and she shook her head violently. Immediately, Charles received happy images of Artemis rough housing with a pack of pups…they couldn't help but leave marks, but it was all done in fun.

"Oh," Charles said softly, a smile lighting up his face. "It wasn't her human family she was talking about. She meant her wolf family. This is normal."

"So you…lived with wolves?" Beast asked, sounding intrigued. Artemis nodded, offering what Charles was sure was meant to be a smile. "And do you…_remember_ your human family at all?"

Artemis scrunched up her face for several minutes, but ultimately ended up shaking her head.

_I know…there was something…before the wolves…something bad. There was another mother…and another me…but I can't remember what or why. I ran away…I can't remember. There's only…Artemis._

"It's all right," Charles said, laying a hand on her shoulder. "Who you were before doesn't matter now…not unless you want us to help you find that person."

"Care to fill us in on your clandestine conversations, Charles?" Erik asked.

"She says she knows there was a time before her wolf family, but she can't remember it. She thinks something bad happened, though."

"Well, _that's_ not hard to work out," Erik said snidely. "Because girls with perfectly happy home lives _often_ wind up living in forests with wild animals."

_Erik_, Charles chastised lightly.

"So where did they find her?" Erik asked as Beast continued the examination.

"North of here, somewhere in the woods just south of the Canadian border. Their motorcycles drew her out of hiding. When they found her, she…crushed James' heart with her power."

Erik raised an eyebrow at this. "Literally? She can _do_ that?"

"Apparently," Charles said, eyeing the wolf girl oddly. He had a feeling that whatever had happened to her had something to do with the ability to crush hearts. "I imagine it's how she's been able to fend for herself in the wild."

"But…how did he survive?"

"His mutation. He and his brother both have incalculably powerful healing abilities. Really, only _they_ could have approached her and lived. She might have killed anyone else in a fit of panic."

"So why did she go with them…if she was happy where she was?" Erik asked, turning to look at Artemis. He couldn't understand someone who would walk away from a loving family.

"I couldn't tell you that. I don't think she even knows herself."

The two lovers continued to talk throughout the physical, occasionally lapsing into flirting, which Beast imagined would be causing him to blush, if his skin was still capable of presenting that phenomenon. His face was certainly warm enough for it. Artemis' intense gaze wasn't helping matters, either. He would have asked her to stop…if he thought she'd understand embarrassment at all, which he didn't see how she could. She had lived without shame for so many years. He wanted her to stop…but at the same time, he found her attention almost…flattering. Would she even understand _that_?

"She seems healthy enough," Beast reported when he'd finally finished up. "I'll let you know how the blood work looks when I've had a chance to go over it, but I'm willing to bet it'll look better than most kids her age. Her diet and exercise regimen must have been exceptional these past years, running with a wolf pack. Anything else we can learn from her will come from _you_, Charles. Until she learns to speak again, you seem to be the only one who can communicate with her."

"That shouldn't be too difficult," Charles said, giving Artemis a reassuring smile as he approached her. "Don't worry, Artemis. We'll help you figure this out."

XxX

"You're a difficult man to get alone. Did you know that?" Destiny said to Charles as she entered the library. Charles was sitting on one of the couches reading a book. He glanced up at her when she came to sit on the couch opposite him.

"If you were hoping to say something out of Erik's hearing, you'd best hurry. He'll be back soon with some port. You should also know I won't keep it from him if I think he needs to hear it…but of course you _do_ already know that," Charles finished, smiling oddly.

"I do, but it's nice to give it a chance to actually happen. It isn't so much that I wanted to talk to you…as that I know there's something you want to ask me."

"You deliberately left a trail for them to follow, didn't you?" Charles said, his voice only a shade above accusing. "You're former CIA. No one could follow you if you really didn't want them to. What I want to know is do I need to do some damage control?"

"Absolutely not. The trail's cold. I've already cut off the contact they used to find me and no one else will ever be able to use it again."

"You did this…for Artemis, then?" Charles asked slowly. "You…foresaw her coming."

"Yes. Artemis had to get here somehow. If you or Erik had gone to find her, she would have killed you. It had to happen…just the way it happened."

"Why was it so important?"

"Because she and Pele need each other. That's really all I can tell you for now."

Charles sighed, laying his book to the side and resting his chin in his hands, his voice only slightly less agitated when he next spoke. "It's going to be awfully annoying, isn't it…finding out in the future the things you've known all along? There's nothing you could…maybe…warn me about?"

"Seeing the future isn't that easy, Charles. Each action has effects following from it, rippling down through time and making their own marks on events. If I…were to tell you about the future now…the mere act of my _telling_ you could change the future. A new set of choices would suddenly become available to you. In trying to change an event you wished to avoid, you could cause something worse to happen…or you could cause the very thing you were trying to prevent. It isn't an easy thing…this power."

"I know, Destiny. I'm sorry. Only…is there, perhaps…_one _question you might be able to answer?"

Rather than respond, Destiny waited patiently for him to ask.

_Erik and I…will he…will we always be together?_

Destiny shook her head. "That isn't the question you really wanted to ask, but what I _can_ tell you is that Erik will always love you…and he is the only other person you will ever love."

Charles smiled sadly. "That isn't what I asked."

"No…but it's what I can tell you. I don't claim to _know_ what will happen…only the possibilities. I can tell you that your love will create something very beautiful…not something intangible, either. It will be something real…something you can hold in your arms and _know_ that part of Erik will always be with you…and part of you will always be with him," Destiny said, a warm smile lighting up her face.

"What…what does that _mean_?" Charles asked, more lost than ever.

"You'll figure it out, Charles. If I explain it any more, it might not happen…or something terrible will come of it," she said, her expression darkening for the briefest of moments before going right back to the small smile. What she said next let Charles know, in no uncertain terms, that this particular conversation was finished. "Thank you again for the book on Braille."

"You're welcome…though, I doubt you'll need it, your powers being what they are," Charles said, shaking his head in defeat.

"It'll still be nice to learn it, all the same," she said politely.

"I knew, you know?" Charles said as she was standing to leave. "I knew your real name wasn't Moira almost the moment I met you. A thought like that is constantly at the front of a person's mind…and I was more than a little drunk that night. I saw it…unintentionally…when I read your mind. I never looked for the real name. It was just always something in the back of my mind…even if there was no ill will in it…I couldn't help but feel we were being lied to…and I suppose you always _will_ be lying to us in some way."

For a moment, the telepath couldn't quite believe what he'd said. It was almost like he'd meant to snap at her. Where had it come from? He wasn't vindictive like that…

…but Onslaught certainly was.

_I'm sorry,_ he continued telepathically. _I had no right to say that. I __**know**__ you can't help it. It's for everyone's safety. I don't…even know __**why**__ I said it…_

Destiny nodded. Really, she probably already knew what he suspected.

_It's not…untrue. _

Before Charles could say anything to this, they were interrupted by some rather loud howling.

"Artemis," Charles said as he jumped up from the couch, his features suddenly tight with worry.

XxX

The first night in a new house is always difficult. It's especially hard when you haven't actually lived in a house for about six years and you're used to sleeping in a pile of wolves every night. Such was the case for Artemis. She knew she had made the decision to come here, but she was still missing her pack, so she sat at her open window and howled plaintively at the moon, knowing that her pack was looking up at the same moon, even if they couldn't hear her calls.

When Charles and Destiny reached the room he'd given Artemis, they found that the others had already beaten them there. They were all standing in the doorway, watching her, not sure what to do.

"What's wrong?" Charles asked, feeling the pain coming from her, but unable to identify it yet.

"Maybe she doesn't like sleeping indoors?" Beast suggested. "It would be a big adjustment."

"No," Havok said quietly as he watched her. "She's lonely."

"Ja," Erik agreed.

"Lonely?" Pele snipped. She might have gone further had Erik not silenced her with a look.

"So…what do we do?" Banshee asked.

"Could I…try something?" Havok asked them, not even really sure of himself. Slowly, they all nodded. Charles was hesitant at first, knowing that the young man was prone to harshness, but there seemed to be something different tonight as he approached the wolf girl.

"Hey," he said as he sat down beside her on the window seat, trying to ignore how cold it was in the room. He'd been afraid he would startle her, but she didn't even flinch. Clearly, she'd been aware of them. "Rough night?"

Artemis looked over at him, nodding slowly as she let out a small whine.

"Uh…sorry…I don't speak wolf," he said, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. For a moment, she seemed to smile, but then she turned back to the window and let out another howl.

"Hey, hey," he said, resting a hand on her shoulder. "It's okay. I know what it's like…to miss your family." He knew what it was like…to willingly choose exile as she had. His had been because he was a danger to others, and even though he couldn't quite understand hers, he _could_ understand how she was feeling.

"N…n…nn- naaa….muh…na-_muh_," she asked haltingly, struggling with the consonants as she pressed a hand against his heart.

"My name?" he confirmed; she nodded. He almost answered 'Havok', but something made him stop. He wasn't sure why, but for some reason, he answered, "Alex."

"L…li…li-tuh…light…nuh…ni…n…g…"

_She's trying to say 'lightning', Havok. It's how she thinks,_ Charles explained to him privately. _To her, you are like lightning. Your light…brightens a place that is dark…even if only briefly._

Havok wasn't quite sure how to feel about the comparison…but he _did_ know that no one had ever viewed him that way before. Not as light…just heat…heat and destruction…

_She says…that would be your wolf name…like the lightning,_ Charles reported to him. Havok couldn't help smiling slightly at this. He wrapped his arms around the tele-kine and she nuzzled closer to him, giving several small whines of contentment. Unlike any other time he'd been this close to a girl, there was nothing sexual about this. They were simply two beings snuggling together for warmth and acceptance.

"I kinda like it," he said, coaxing her to lay down with him on the window seat. He didn't look up to see who, but someone came in to lay a blanket over them.

_Thank you, Havok,_ he heard the professor's voice in his head once again. _Is this…arrangement…all right for you?_

Havok couldn't help but smirk at the tone. He could almost picture the telepath blushing.

_It's fine. We'll be all right here. Don't worry, I won't try anything. Artemis just needs some company for now. She's used to sleeping with a lot of brothers and sisters._

_Again, thank you. I know you won't like hearing it, but it's not like you to be so selfless._

_I'll surprise you, old man._

Once Charles had withdrawn from his mind and the others had gone away, Havok turned his attention back to Artemis…only to discover that she'd already fallen asleep in his arms. Smiling, he nuzzled a little closer to her before nodding off himself. He hadn't slept so well in a long time.

XxX

The next few days brought a fresh blanket of new snow to Westchester. One morning, Charles and Erik awoke to the sound of a well-made snowball smashing against their window.

Erik's first response was to leap out of bed, summoning one of his many small blades to him in the process. Charles, on the other hand, had seen the remains of the snowball.

"Nothing to worry about, Erik," he reassured him, grabbing his robe as he headed toward the window. When he opened it, he looked down to find Banshee, Havok, Artemis, and Mystique down on the fresh field of snow.

"Wake up, you two!" Banshee shouted up at him.

"I take it I have you to thank for the rude awakening!" Charles shouted down to Mystique, who only smiled in response.

"Come on down!" Havok called. "We're teaching Artemis about snowball fights!"

"Oh, my," Charles said to himself as he wrapped his robe a little more tightly around his naked body. Artemis was back in her sleek hooded wolf fur dress, and as she looked up at him, she let out several joyous yips.

"Beast and Destiny'll be out in a little bit! They're bringing Pele down!" Mystique told him.

"That'll be a sight to see," Erik said somewhat snidely.

_And you __**will**__ see it,_ Charles told him, slipping him a teasing smile. _We __**are**__ going out there._

"Come out, Professor! Mystique says you used to be really good!" Banshee shouted.

"I still am!" he called back indignantly.

"Then come down and prove it…_old man!_" Havok taunted.

"You'll soon regret those words, Havok!" he warned the young man before closing the window. Erik was standing awkwardly by the bed, still completely naked.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" he asked. "Your legs-"

"Are perfectly fine," Charles said, his tone almost sharp as he went to get dressed. "Besides, what could be better for them than a brisk run through the snow? Haven't you ever had a good old-fashioned snowball fight?"

"Not really," the metal-kine answered stiffly, going to collect his own clothes. If he had ever engaged in a snowball fight, he couldn't remember it. Such a time would have been before the war.

"I see," Charles said, his voice softening. "Well, you won't be my only student today. The girls have never had a snowball fight, either. I shudder to think what Artemis will be able to do once she gets the hang of it."

Before too long, the two lovers were bundled up and out on the field with all the others. Mystique and all the boys looked giddy and Destiny had a small, knowing smile on her face. Artemis was hopping excitedly from foot to foot and Pele looked like she might kill the next person who looked at her wrong.

"Here's what we're gonna do," Havok started decisively. "It's gonna be girls against guys, but since half the girls have never done this before, the professor's gonna join them."

"And how did we reach this decision?" Charles asked.

"Well, you _are_ the teacher…and we're pretty sure you bottom, anyway," Havok said, his tone practically begging Charles to call him on it.

Rather then blush or stutter, Charles strode casually over to the young mutant, his smirk nothing if not mischievous. "Well…Havok…there's certainly no denying that. That doesn't mean, however…that I'm the submissive one."

Havok gulped, his face going a violent shade of red, the flick of Charles' eyebrows letting him know that that was the last time he got to mention his and Erik's sex life so casually.

Banshee blushed, as well, Beast looked away, and Mystique and Destiny both shook their heads. Pele just rolled her eyes. The only thing Artemis really understood about the whole business was an alpha male asserting his position over a yearling. When Charles looked back at Erik, though, he was surprised to find that he was blushing the most violently of all.

_Erik?_

_It's **none** of their god damn business…what we do._

_He's young, Erik. He's teasing when he doesn't understand. I don't think it'll be a problem anymore. Now stop that frowning at once._

_Or what?_ Erik growled out the thought.

_Well,_ Charles began as he bent down to scoop up a decent handful of snow, molding it into a ball, _I suppose I'll just have to stop it for you._

_You wouldn't dare._

"Oh, no?"

Without warning, he chucked the snowball at Erik, hard and fast, too fast for Erik to dodge.

For a moment, Erik just stood there, his face covered in snow, too shocked to do much more than stare. In that small moment, some of the others were afraid he might get angry, but then Banshee broke the tension with, "Erik, man, are you gonna take that?"

"No," he said, a devious smirk spreading across his face as he bent down to scoop his own handful of snow. "I don't think I am."

"No," Charles started, shaking his head and taking several steps backward as Erik drew his arm back. The retreat was belied by the huge smile on his face, though. Just before Erik could get off his shot, Charles turned tail and made a dash across the field. Erik was on his heels inside of a second.

"Go, Charles! Go!" Mystique cheered before turning swiftly and scooping up a snowball, lobbing it at Beast. Havok quickly jumped into the fray, flinging one at Artemis, who yipped at him and gave chase.

"Oh, what a bunch of overgrown babies," Pele griped, crossing her arms and pretending not to watch the ensuing battle with interest. The façade was soon broken when Banshee threw a snowball at the back of her head. As Erik had done, she stood in silence for several minutes, not quite believing it had happened…but then she quickly turned on the redheaded mutant, scooping up some snow of her own, her eyes promising murder.

Banshee left himself wide open, waiting for her to get a shot in, but when she threw her hastily constructed projectile at him, it quickly broke into several small chunks, never reaching its target.

"No, no, no, no, no," Banshee said quickly, moving in before Pele had the chance to feel too much disappointment. He helped the little girl scoop up a new handful of snow. "You've got pack it together real tight. Tighter," he coached, watching her form the ball. Once she had it together, he backed off several paces and spread his arms wide, presenting an ample target. Her aim was off, but the snowball still struck, hitting lightly in the left shoulder.

"Let's practice some more," he said, coming back to her side. "I think Havok could use some help."

It was true. Beast was holding up pretty well against Mystique and Destiny, who had double-teamed him. For all their agility, he had twice the strength and endurance. Havok, however, was quickly losing ground against Artemis, who had got the gist of the game rather quickly. She'd realized she could make the perfect snowball…with nothing more than her mind. So she could summon up a veritable arsenal of snowballs in a matter of moments. The first time she summoned a line of snowballs to drift casually behind her, she grinned playfully at Havok for a moment.

"I am…so dead," he whispered to himself before he was clobbered.

With a little more practice, Banshee and Pele were able to join the battle against Artemis, giving Havok at least a fighting chance. Mystique and Destiny joined in on the tele-kine's side, with Beast joining Pele and the boys; and while their battle raged, Charles and Erik continued their own private battle, circling each other as they ran around the field, pelting each other with snowballs and ducking away from each other's shots as much as they possibly could. The flurry of snowballs between the two men was almost as great as the volume Artemis was producing, Charles unleashing his mad snowball skills and Erik making up for years of missed childhood. Charles could have almost sworn he was dreaming when he heard Erik laughing as he took another face-full of snow.

Unfortunately, Erik had a nasty habit of being right when it came to forecasts of doom.

One minute, Charles was smiling and laughing, bending to prepare another snowball…the next, his face twisted in agony and he gave a sharp cry as he began to topple over. For Erik, that moment seemed to last an eternity.

"_Charles!_" he shouted, darting forward and catching the telepath before he could hit the ground. The two of them collapsed into the snow together. "What is it? What's wrong?" he demanded, glancing worriedly along the length of his lover's body and seeing nothing immediately apparent.

"It's…my knee," he groaned. "It…twinged a bit. I turned wrong."

"Does it hurt?" he asked as the others rushed over, the sound of his cry having snapped them out of the game.

"Not…so much now," Charles said, taking stock. "I'm sure it'll be fine."

"I think we're done for today," Erik said firmly as he began to gather Charles in his arms, cradling him close against his chest. "You shouldn't take chances with that." Once he made certain he was steady, Erik stood, heading slowly back toward the mansion. "You all can play some more if you want," he said to the others. "I'll take care of him. I can also get breakfast going."

"No," Beast insisted. "_We_ can handle that. You focus on taking care of him."

"Erik!" Charles protested, struggling briefly. "You _really_ don't have to carry me. I can walk."

"You also said this would be _good_ for your legs. Forgive me if I'm disinclined to trust your assessment of the situation," the metal-kine returned, giving no quarter as he moved steadily back toward the mansion.

"Erik, this is ridiculous."

Rather than say anything, Erik summoned up his memories of the night he'd carried Charles out of Auschwitz…so in pain, so hurt…so _shattered_. He gave Charles the memory of how his heart had broken at the sight of him.

_Don't make me go through that again._

"Oh…oh, Erik…" the telepath said quietly, reaching up to touch his cheek.

"Please…just…just let me take care of you. I couldn't protect you. Let me at least do this."

Charles didn't argue anymore. In fact, they were both silent the whole rest of the way to the mansion. Erik carried Charles into the kitchen with him, making sure he was seated comfortably in a chair before going to fetch him a blanket. With that done, Erik moved to the cabinets, pulling down two mugs.

"What are you making? I thought you were going to let the children handle breakfast," Charles said as he followed Erik's movements.

"They can do whatever they want. I'm making you a hot chocolate."

"But…what will _you_ drink?" Charles asked, his face twisting into an odd expression. "I know how much you…don't like chocolate," he added quietly.

While Erik was strangely pleased Charles had remembered that, he needn't have worried. "I'll make some coffee, too. Don't worry about it."

For a while, the only sounds to be heard were the sounds of clinking mugs and spoons as Erik prepared the drinks. When he presented Charles with the steaming mug and sat down with his own drink, Charles just stared at it.

"You know," Charles started after a while, "it's kind of funny. No one's ever made me hot chocolate before."

Erik quizzically raised an eyebrow as he took a sip of his own drink. "Did I do something wrong? I thought this was what people were _supposed_ to do after being out in the snow."

Charles chuckled at this as he picked up his mug, warming his hands with it. "That- that isn't quite what I meant. This is wonderful," he reassured him, taking a small sip of the sweet beverage. "I only meant that…I've always had to do it myself. We had maids all over this place when I was a kid and my mother used to order them to do things like this, but something about it always bothered me, so I tried to do things for myself whenever I could."

"What I said before…such hardship," Erik said, smirking slightly.

"I know, I know. You would have given a lot to be in my place, but…well…at least your parents cared for you."

_At least your mother's death was __**worth**__ avenging. I don't know that I could have cared __**less**__ when mine died._

Erik had no words for this. The loss of his parents, especially his mother, had been painful, but what Charles said was true. At least he had been loved…for however brief a time. Charles never had been…not unconditionally, anyway. He had had to wait years…wait for _him_…in order to be loved.

All of these revelations washed over him as he watched Charles stare down into the mug in his hands, ashamed to reveal anymore of the sad smile on his face. Reaching toward him, Erik took one of Charles' hands in his, pulling it toward himself and pressing his lips to the knuckles.

"You can't be reckless, mein Lieben. It takes a long time to heal," he said slowly, not talking just about the telepath's legs.

Charles' smile warmed to this as he looked up. Taking another drink from the mug, he set it aside before leaning forward to plant his lips squarely on Erik's.

_Thank you._

Just when Erik was starting to think he could get to like the taste of chocolate, a rather obnoxious voice burst in on them.

"Keep it upstairs, guys," Havok said as he and the others piled into the kitchen.

"Havok, you have _impeccably_ bad timing," Charles half-growled, keeping his forehead resting against Erik's, trying to hold onto the moment just a little bit longer.

XxX

During the weeks she'd lived in the Auschwitz compound, young Blindfold had spent most of her time with Emma, learning psychic self-defense from her. While her precognitive abilities were already quite strong, her other telepathic skills were still in the nascent stage and needed honing.

Blindfold's time with Shaw was a great deal different from several who had passed through his care before her. Unlike Erik and Pele, she didn't resist her current position. She had known for a long time that it was her fate to end up here. She knew many things she should not, and it was for this reason Shaw wanted her in his group.

It was through Emma's power that they had located Blindfold in the first place, and it was through her they had learned what a fragile art precognition was. Emma had been careful not to read too much of what was in Blindfold's mind. It was very dangerous information when taken outside of the massive web of context contained in the girl's head. Sebastian Shaw, however, was not known for being cautious.

Shaw was sitting with Blindfold in her room on this particular day. Some of the others chose to decorate their quarters in some way, but Blindfold felt no need for any of that. Why waste time on something she couldn't see, after all?

"So, my dear…what can you tell me about them?" he asked her, trying not to sound too eager. Blindfold still chuckled quietly.

"You've certainly been patient…waiting nearly a month to ask me that…even though it wasn't what you really wanted to ask."

"Very good, Blindfold. You and I both know I _can't_ ask you what I _really_ want to ask."

"Exactly, but I _can_ tell you what you will need to know in order to instigate your next plot. It's just one thing…simple, really. I'm almost amazed you'll make as big a deal out of it as you're about to."

"And what would this thing be?"

"Well, telling _you_ certainly won't affect whether or not this comes to pass, I suppose. You see, Sebastian Shaw, Charles Xavier…and Erik Lehnsherr…" she began slowly, pausing for effect, "will have a child."

Even Sebastian Shaw couldn't keep his eyes from widening in surprise at this. Of all the things he'd expected her to tell him, this was certainly not it.

"Really? Tell me more. How is it even possible?"

"That I don't know. There are things even _I_ can't see, and I cannot see how this child comes into being. I only know that one day, this child will live and breathe…and he will be the son of Xavier and Lehnsherr. If you wish to succeed in your endeavors, you must await this child's coming."

"Why? Will he be as powerful as all that?"

"Yes and no. The trouble is that there are only a few certain ways in which you can awaken him…and if you miss your first opportunity, you will have lost your chance for many years."

"And how long will I have to wait until their son is born?" he asked, several unseemly ideas all tumbling about in his head at once.

"Many months more. They haven't even thought of trying yet. In that time, perhaps you can figure out what I can't…just _how_ this child comes to exist."

"I think we could manage that. Even if you can't see the answer, I've still got another brilliant telepath, and Charles is no doubt still weak from his time with me," Shaw said as he stood from her bed.

"Don't underestimate him," Blindfold warned sharply. "Watch out. The demon you have brought to life is not a thing so easily tamed as that, Sebastian Shaw. In fact, you _may_ come to regret it before your time is done."

Shaw studied the precog a moment before his usual smirk reclaimed his face.

"Well, my dear, so long as that's a 'may' and not a 'will', I'm content to push my luck. I _will_ see the onslaught awakened before I die."

XxX

(A/N) Before you ask, no, it's not going to be an mpreg. Sort of boggles the mind a bit, doesn't it? Don't get me wrong; I've got nothing against mpregs…in fact, I adore them, but I just wanted to try something a little different with this story.

Translation: Mein Lieben = my love.

Hope you're all still enjoying. Much love til next time.


	3. In the Eyes of a Young Girl

(A/N) Thanks to all you lovely readers for your feedback. Sorry this story's taking longer, but my training period at work is nearly over and I don't have quite as much time on my hands as I once did. I'll do what I can for you, though. So enjoy…

**How Do You Measure…**

_Chapter 3: In the Eyes of a Young Girl_

January was nearly over when Mystique came to Charles with a bone to pick.

"Psychic therapy is nice and everything, but how about a few creature comforts."

"What exactly are you aiming at?" he asked her.

"Pele and Artemis can't wear my old clothes forever. All that stuff is at least ten years out of style."

"So what do you need from _me_?" he needled.

"Money for a shopping spree, of course," she said matter-of-factly.

"Ah," he started, turning his gaze slightly to the side. "I suppose I had best start searching for a proper job, then. We'll be completely broke after this, won't we."

XxX

Artemis clung tightly to Destiny's side as the four girls moved through the parking lot. Pele tried not to be quite as obvious in her fear, but she still stuck close to Mystique, who was concealed beneath her human guise.

"Finally, a good old-fashioned girls' day out," Mystique said, looking very pleased with herself. "The sky's the limit today."

"I don't see why we need more clothes," Pele grumbled. "Aren't the ones we have enough?"

"They would be, except that we can afford to give you clothes of your own. You don't need to go around looking like forties poster children."

"You ought to have your own clothes," Destiny continued. "It's an important part of establishing your own identity."

"What? The little hellion you've known up to this point isn't identity enough for you?" she jabbed back.

"That depends. Is it really _you_? Is it who you _want_ to be?" Destiny asked her.

Pele looked like she might lash out again, but quickly realized she had no answer for the question. Turning to look at her as they walked, Artemis placed a hand on her head and ruffled the little hair she had.

"Don't…don't beh…be…s…sad- duh," she said haltingly. Charles and Beast had been teaching her how to speak again.

Pele shoved her hand away, glaring up at the older girl. "I'm _not_ sad, you moron. I'm angry."

Artemis tilted her head curiously to the side. Her expression stating that she didn't quite understand…or maybe she did, but thought it was silly. Pele continued to glare.

"I would _so love_ to read your mind right now," she grumbled, but remained silent the rest of the way into the department store.

Artemis was amazed by all the different colors and fabrics, having forgotten such things existed in the world. She selected a wide range of outfits, stretching from bright yellow to navy blue in color. Whatever she chose, she tended to favor things that were looser-fitting…less confining. The only thing she resisted was undergarments, but Mystique and Destiny insisted she have at least a few pairs.

Pele's selection was not nearly as far-reaching. She favored reds and blacks and preferred tighter fits. She absolutely loathed anything that was even remotely 'girly.' Besides, she argued, with her hair looking the way it did, she would almost certainly be mistaken for a boy until her figure filled in.

The spree came to a grinding halt when Artemis stumbled upon a wrack of fur-lined coats. At first, she was excited, running up to the wrack and grabbing one; but when she buried her nose in the fur and took a big wiff of it, she pulled back immediately, actually coughing at the foul chemical odor that had invaded her senses. Once she'd recovered, she flung the coat contemptuously to the floor. "_Wrong,_" she declared, her eyes filled with disgust.

"What's wrong with it?" Mystique asked as she gathered up the bulky coat to hang it back up. "_You_ have a fur dress."

Artemis shook her head violently, thumping her hand over her heart. "I…_earned_…th-th…them. This," she continued, jabbing a finger at the coat, "wrong…dead…_cage_," she hissed, drawing her lips back and snarling.

"Is there a problem here, ladies?" a sales rep asked as he approached them, having heard Artemis' ruckus. The girl turned and growled at him.

"No problem at all. Just a bit of an animal rights activist," Mystique explained, leading the man away before Artemis decided to go full on predator mode. This left only Destiny to calm her, as Pele almost wanted to see her go off.

Destiny gently took Artemis by her shoulders, pointing her empty eyes to where she knew Artemis' were.

"Not here, Artemis. It's dangerous to do this here."

At this, a very strong thought entered her head.

_This is the way to deal with danger._

"No, not here. This is a different world. Growling at the things that scare you or make you angry won't make them go away. This is the world you were born in…and _you_ made the decision to come back to it."

Slowly, Artemis released her defensive stance, coming back to a neutral standing position. The growling stopped and her twisted face returned to normal. With Destiny's hands still on her shoulders, she slowly began to breathe in and out.

"Leeeave," she said after a while. "Want…to leave…"

"All right," Destiny said calmly. "We'll find Mystique and pay. Perhaps it's time _you_ had a session with Charles."

XxX

It was much the same as it had been with Pele, except it was just Charles and Artemis on the couch this time. Charles said nothing, just waited for Artemis to begin.

_I want you…to understand…about my dress…my skin,_ she struggled to explain. _It isn't clothing. It's…my status…the place I've earned in my pack…my memories. Look…as far back as the complete memory goes…and you'll see._

Charles nodded, pressing two fingers against his temple and entering her mind.

She was right about one thing. There was a wall where her complete memory just stopped. There were a few snatches of things beyond it…a smiling woman with dark blonde hair…a pair of angry green eyes…the sound of a man screaming…a spray of blood…

Unintentionally, Charles pushed against that wall, trying to see more, but Artemis' mind fought back, involuntarily and violently. It was this reaction that told Charles she was suffering from a self-imposed amnesia. She had forgotten because she couldn't bear to remember.

The complete memory began with Artemis alone in a dark forest. She had been running hard and had fallen to the cold ground, struggling for breath. The small body curled in on itself was clad in a thin pink nightgown. Artemis couldn't have been more than eight. She wasn't even yet Artemis at this point, but any other name she'd had was already lost.

"_Disappear…disappear…" she cried to herself over and over again._

_**Monster!**_

The thought was strong in her head, so strong Charles nearly lost the connection when it hit him, but he managed to hold on.

_The little girl's breakdown was suddenly interrupted by the snarling of a wolf. She looked up to see the large silvery animal stalking toward her through the trees. She was still too much in shock from what had happened before to be afraid. She didn't feel fear until the wolf was practically upon her, teeth bared and ready to strike._

_Acting on instinct, she raised her hand and crushed the wolf's heart with her power. The mighty creature staggered a few more steps before collapsing at her feet, struggling for breath. It coughed up several mouthfuls of blood before finally dying._

She hadn't known it at the time, but the wolf she'd killed was an outcast: a lone wolf from the far north…and an enemy of the local pack. Killing this wolf would earn her the attention of that pack, for they'd been out hunting him that night. When they all emerged from the forest not too long after to see the girl crouched over his body, what else could they conclude but that this little pup had slain him.

_The leader of the pack approached her with caution, the scent of the dead wolf heavy in his nose. The girl remained on her knees before the large black creature, her survival instinct remaining dormant this time. He sniffed her for several minutes, tensing at the scent of man that was still clinging to her, but still curious at a pup who could take down a grown wolf._

_In what she would later learn was a sign of respect, the large wolf nuzzled her under the chin. Then he shook his great head from side to side before throwing it back and howling into the night sky, announcing to any other creatures in the area that this kill belonged to her, and with this, the pack left her._

It was the outcast wolf's pelt that eventually became part of the dress. With no memories to distract her, her survival instinct kicked in. She'd used her power to skin the dead creature, knowing she would need both the fur and the meat to survive.

She had many similar encounters with the wolf pack. Seeing the trust and deference their leader paid to the hunter pup, one of the lesser wolves attempted to attack her once, perhaps making a bid for the alpha position, but she'd easily killed him, too…yet another pelt for the dress, and a pair of rough fur moccasins, as well. No one dared cross her after this. She'd been welcomed into the pack, and as time went by, she'd learned their ways: the body language they used to show respect, affection, aggression, and fear, the different tones of the howls they called to each other with, the meaning of each yip, growl, and playful bite. Pup though she was, she'd been welcomed as a full hunter. Though she could never hope to keep pace with any of them, she never failed in striking down her quarry. How could she when all she needed to do was crush the animal's heart? The pack didn't understand her power, of course. All they saw was her prowess. Among them, she was given the name Hunter Who Cannot Fail. It was the title 'hunter' that gave her the idea for the name Artemis…a story she vaguely recalled from her time as a human. She remembered many things from the world she'd been born in, but she no longer knew who _she_ had been in that world. More than likely, it had been the desire to have that question answered, more than anything else, that had drawn her from the forest in the end…the need to know the person Hunter had been born from. What sort of past had forged the Hunter Who Cannot Fail?

"The hood," Charles said after a time. "The hood…and your mittens…they aren't made from the same fur as those two wolves you showed me. They're white. Where did _they_ come from?"

At this, the telepath felt a deep well of sadness spring up from within her. As Artemis keened softly in her wolf voice, Charles received a very distinct picture of a wolf pup with white fur.

_Swift Wind…they came from her…my sweet little sister. Maybe…maybe another time…_she trailed off, bowing her head in deference to him.

"As you wish. You can go back to Hank now. I imagine he'll have some more lessons for you," Charles said. Artemis gave an appreciative yip and stood from the couch, heading out of the study.

Long after she'd gone, Charles sat there thinking. What was this terrible thing Artemis had fled from…this flash of horror in the darkness beyond her memories? Even though she clearly wanted help…what could he do to help her when her mind so violently resisted any attempt to unlock that past?

How could he deal with repression?

XxX

_He's running…running through long, empty corridors. He knows this place…as surely as he knows the buildings above it…the compound beneath Auschwitz._

_He knows what he's running toward, and no matter how much he doesn't want to see the sight again, he can't stop running. He feels like he might burst into tears when he reaches the cell door._

_However, when he tears the door open, it isn't to the sight he expected to see. Charles isn't broken or bloody. He's sitting there, in the wheelchair, staring accusingly at him._

"_You didn't protect me," he says, his voice echoing eerily across the space between them._

"_I…I'm sorry…"_

"_Why didn't you rescue me?" he demands, anger beginning to mount in his voice._

"_I **tried**!"_

"_You didn't try hard enough," the telepath snarls, his face twisted with hate. "Now I'm just as **damaged** as you are!"_

"_I'm **sorry**," he repeats as he falls to his knees._

"_Do you really think 'sorry' is enough?" Charles asks as he wheels toward him. "You **let** him take me."_

"_But he would have **killed** you! I **couldn't** let you die!"_

"_I would have **rather** died than go through that!" he screams at him. "You **ruined** me, Erik! Your filthy love ruined me!"_

"_**Please!**" he begs, laying his head in Charles' lap. "Please forgive me for what I've done to you!"_

"_You are past forgiveness, Erik Lehnsherr," a new voice says, "and you are long past redemption."_

_He pulls back from Charles as if burned. He knows this voice…so cold it burns…Charles, but also not him…the blazing blue eyes…_

_Onslaught._

"_It's because of you that I was set free."_

_It's true. He can't escape it. What if this is what Charles becomes…all because of him…because no matter how strong he is…he will always be weak in the face of his past? What happens to Charles if he isn't strong enough to prevent this from happening?_

"_Erik?" he suddenly hears a gentle voice through the searing heat of the night terror. He looks up, past Onslaught, just beyond him, he sees a glimpse of Charles…**his** Charles._

"_Mein Lieben?" he whispers back, feeling a brief spike of shame. He knows there are tears streaming down his face._

"_Oh, Erik," Charles says, his face contorting with grief. Quickly, he comes to him, through the cell, past Onslaught, coming to kneel with him and enfold him in his arms. He gently rocks him and Erik allows a few tears to escape._

"_You've been here for me every step of the way. I can't let you suffer through this guilt alone."_

_With that, the two lovers slowly begin to fall back into reality,_ until they ended up back in their bed, still holding each other.

"It's all right," Charles soothed, tangling his fingers in Erik's hair and cementing the connection between them.

For a long while, Erik said nothing, just lay there…allowing himself to be held…to be comforted. He had long since stopped trying to be an unbreakable stone wall when he was alone with Charles. They both had their good and bad nights. Sometimes Charles had nightmares about Emma and Shaw and Erik would have to wake him before the psychic feedback could wake the whole house. Other times, like tonight, Erik would dream of his perceived guilt and Charles would enter the nightmare, coaxing him out of it with a gentle hand. Sometimes they both had a bad night. There were many horrors in their pasts between the two of them…enough to fill a thousand and one nights of nightmares. Rare was the night that they both slept through to the morning.

"I never blamed you, you know? Not once," Charles said, pressing a chaste kiss to his forehead. "You shouldn't carry this around with you."

"I couldn't do _anything_," the metal-kine hissed quietly. "Not at the camp…not at the beach…Even after all this time…I was _powerless_."

"Erik…you're confusing power with worth," Charles said, running a hand gently up and down his lover's back, trying to anchor him to reality with his touch. "There was nothing _anyone_ could have done that day. It happened…we can't change it. Just because you couldn't use your power to help doesn't make you any less. You're still Erik Lehnsherr…and I still love you. I will _always_ love you. I'd love you even if you didn't have a single mutated gene in your body. Which is impossible, really," he said, beginning to trail off. "Even the average human has several-" Anything else he might have said was swiftly silenced by Erik's lips against his.

After what could have been an hour or a minute, he pulled back, chuckling softly. "Thank you for that, Professor. I'll keep it in mind," he said, the tension, horror, and sadness from earlier already melting away. "Now tell me, how long has it been since I made love to you?"

Charles looked thoughtful for a moment before answering, "Approximately thirty hours, twenty minutes, and ten seconds. So _much_ too long."

"Let's take care of that, then," Erik said, grinning impishly as he rolled them over so that Charles was on his back, pinned to the bed as he crouched over him. Charles let out a long sigh of want as Erik began to nip at his neck.

As his mouth worshipped the soft, pale flesh beneath him, the nightmare was already forgotten, but the guilt was not quite gone. It never was…and it was that lingering feeling that made him so gentle in bed, as opposed to most other things in his life. The sight he'd beheld in that cell would never really leave him.

_Don't think about it,_ Charles urged gently, moaning as Erik moved down his chest. He knew what he was thinking without having to read him. _I want you here with me. I'm fine; we're __**both**__ fine._

_Fine enough, anyway,_ he thought back. It would take time for them to be able to live with this. They both knew it, but for now, this was enough…holding each other close in the night…sharing their devotion with and without words.

_Ich liebe dich,_ he thought for the telepath, filling the thought with as much warmth and tenderness as he could muster. _Ohne dich kann ich nicht leben._

"Me neither, Erik," Charles whispered to him in between gasps of pleasure. "Me neither."

XxX

"So how do you want to do this?" Mystique asked as she surveyed the stacks of notebooks. Destiny had written out a grand total of thirty-six notebooks of prophecy during their previous misadventures and she'd asked for Mystique's help in sorting through them.

"The only thing to worry about is making sure you don't see any of your own future. That's mostly contained in this stack," Destiny explained, placing her hand on the stack furthest to the left of the bed, which contained nine of the notebooks. "So stay away from this one."

"That's all for me?" she asked, eying the stack appreciatively. "That's a lot of future."

Destiny smiled softly, giving the stack another pat. "If only you knew…but I suppose you'll see someday. These _are_ mostly yours, but you do appear other places. It all tends to intertwine at some point or another. At this point, I'd say our most pressing concern is Erik and Charles," she said, going to the other side of the bed and placing a hand on the largest stack, measuring in at fifteen notebooks.

"And that's…_just_ the two of them?" Mystique asked, slightly dumbfounded.

"Mostly. Their fates are so intertwined, the events didn't merit separation…no matter what course these events end up following. So…I suppose the best place to start would be here," she said, lifting the first notebook from the stack and handing it to the shape shifter. Mystique opened it and read the first few sentences. Immediately, her face fell.

"I'd hoped…Charles wouldn't have to remember that," she said quietly, "but…dealing with Pele and Artemis' repressed memories…I guess it's bound to happen."

"Yes," Destiny said, laying a comforting hand on her shoulder. "This _will_ happen…not too far in the future. I'm sorry…I know how horrible it was."

"It was…it _was_ awful," Mystique said, feeling the sting of tears just behind her eyes. "I was almost glad he couldn't remember what happened. I thought we were done with Cain Marko."

"No. If Charles is going to conquer Onslaught, he needs to be whole…the good and the bad parts."

"So I have to tell Erik about this?" Mystique asked, feeling sick at the thought.

"He needs to know…if he's going to be able to help him through it…and Charles can't tell him himself. By the time he remembers, it will be too late. It has to be you."

"You know…I'm almost surprised Frost's meddling didn't wake the memory…but I guess we'd know if it had. Maybe it was just buried too deep," Mystique said, more to herself than to Destiny as she read the lines again.

"Shaw and Erik give themselves a little too much credit for Onslaught's creation," Destiny said, running her fingers over the words she couldn't see.

"When they really only woke a sleeping demon," Mystique finished. "Onslaught was _born_…because of what Cain did to him."

"The only way to heal that wound, though…is to deal with it."

"I know," Mystique continued in that uncharacteristically gentle tone. "I've always known that…but I just didn't have the heart to do it. Cain…really almost killed him that night; he was so broken…and then when he came out of it and he didn't remember _anything_…about what happened…I couldn't do it. I _couldn't_ tell him!" she insisted, her voice growing desperate, as if she were begging to be forgiven for making the decision.

"I understand," Destiny said gently, reaching a hand up to touch Mystique's cheek, "why you did what you did. You wanted to protect your brother…after he'd done so much to protect you…so you did the only thing you _could_ do. It isn't going to be easy…getting through this…but it won't be all bad."

"How so?" the shape shifter asked, lifting only slightly from the despair of the first revelation.

"Three pages in," the precog told her, smiling as she watched her flip the pages. As she read the new words, Mystique's mouth first fell open in shock…then the expression slowly turned to one of wonder.

"Is…is it even possible?"

Destiny grinned. "It's going to happen, isn't it. I'd say there's a pretty good chance."

"Oh, Charles will be so happy," the younger woman said, practically beside herself with sudden joy. An unlooked for blessing like this would be welcome after everything the ragtag family had been through…even if it wouldn't come easy. "When?" she finally managed to ask.

"One month from now," Destiny told her. "And you can't breathe a word of this to them, obviously, but you have to tell me…would you prefer to be called Auntie Raven or Auntie Mystique?"

XxX

"Sir, we've searched the area thoroughly. We found no evidence of the compound MacTaggart told you about. No signs of recent fire in the area, either. Looks like a dead end."

"I see. Thank you, Smith. You guys better get out of there. We're not gonna find anything," Stryker said into the phone, sighing in anger as he set it back in its cradle.

MacTaggart had flat out lied to them…just as he'd suspected. Unfortunately, he hadn't been able to convince the director of this, so it had taken him this long to get a team out to Germany, as he hadn't been working strictly with his superior's permission. He might be able to convince him now, though. If MacTaggart had lied about this, she had probably lied about Erik Lehnsherr, as well, meaning that he was more than likely still alive somewhere.

The only trouble with this career-making revelation was that MacTaggart and her little mutant friends had all disappeared without a trace. They'd attempted to keep the former agent under surveillance, but she'd never returned to her home after the last interrogation; and of course they had zero data on any of the mutants, having lost it all in Shaw's raid on Division X.

Shaw…Lehnsherr…Xavier…it made little difference. To him, they were all just enemies to be defeated. He had fought the Soviets and he would damn well fight these mutant freaks, too…before they realized just how strong they were…and that they could easily crush humanity underfoot. These three men were the key to all of it. Only they could ever hope to unite mutantkind into a fighting force that could rise up against them.

As of right now, there seemed to be no way to get to Sebastian Shaw, but if any of what MacTaggart had reported to have happened on that beach was true, then the only way to get to Erik Lehnsherr…was through Charles Xavier.

XxX

_Sometimes it feels like he hasn't had a moment of peace and quiet in years. If there isn't something going on with the girls, it's the boys. So Charles is going to milk this silent moment for all it's worth. He sighs in contentment as he sits down on the couch, opening up a book. However, no sooner has he read the first sentence, than he's interrupted again._

"_Daddy!" a young, fearful voice cries out._

_Charles looks up to see a little girl standing in the doorway, dressed in a blue nightgown and clutching a blanket._

"_What's wrong, sweetheart?" he asks, setting the book aside. Immediately, she runs to him, jumping into his lap._

"_I ha' a bad dream," she cries, clinging tightly to him._

"_It's all right. Daddy's here now," he soothes, cradling her close. "The bad things can't get you."_

"_When's Papa comin' home?" she asks, staring up at him with large blue eyes as her lower lip trembles._

"_Soon, pumpkin. Very soon."_

"_Can I stay up 'til he comes?"_

"_Of course. I could use some company," he says, his sigh barely concealed. He loves his little girl, but he **had** been looking forward to that down time. "Do you want to read a story?"_

"_Mm-mm," she says, shaking her head as she snuggles up against him. "I wan' a song."_

_Charles can't help but chuckle a little. "Really? But Papa's so much better at singing than I am."_

"_I don' care. I like when both a' you sing," she says, smiling shyly up at him._

"_What do you want to hear?"_

"_The Bambi song," she answers automatically. He can't quite fathom why, but Bambi has somehow become her favorite film._

"_I still don't remember all the words," he warns her, but she says nothing, just nuzzles a little closer, closing her eyes, waiting impatiently for him to begin. _

_He really doesn't remember the words…just the melody, so he hums it softly for her, over and over again. After a time, she begins to drift off, and he can't help but overhear the warm, wonderful thoughts in her head. _

_**I love you, Daddy.**_

_**And I love you, baby.**_

_She's just about asleep when the door starts to open_…and that was the moment Charles woke up, his arms feeling strangely empty.

Slowly, the telepath sat up in bed, his mind still hazy with sleep. Erik was sleeping peacefully beside him and he vaguely found himself thinking how strange this was…for both of them to sleep so soundly. Obviously, he wasn't asleep anymore, but still…it had been the first time in many months that he'd had such a wonderful dream…and the details were already starting to fade from his mind, much to his sadness. It had been a beautiful dream…a beautiful baby girl.

Who was…Papa? Erik, surely. If only the dream could be a reality. To have a family like that…with Erik…would be bliss.

_But it's not possible,_ he thought, glancing over at Erik's peaceful face.

And yet…once the thought had wormed its way into his conscience, he was hard-pressed to make it leave him alone. After all, did they not live in a world where Hank had created a serum that could alter his very DNA? Charles wasn't quite sure what the thought in his head _was_, but as he lay back down beside Erik, snuggling close against him in the dark, he knew it was an idea that wasn't going to go away easily.

XxX

(A/N) Wow…I am really getting into this fluff business. Well, don't worry, gentle readers, I'm still me. The angst and tragedy will probably rear their ugly heads before too long.

Translation: Ohne dich kann ich nicht = I can't live without you.


	4. One Song

(A/N) Thank you for your continued interest in the story, my lovely readers. Here's yet more for you.

**How Do You Measure…**

_Chapter 4: One Song_

Beast had been ungodly thankful to learn that the Xaviers had a lab in their mansion. Apparently, it had originally been used by Charles' biological father, Brian Xavier, before his death in a lab explosion at work when Charles was only three. Charles had dubbed the space his enthusiastically, saying only that it hadn't seen much use since his mother and step father had died in a car crash. He almost never set foot in the lab…which was why Beast was more than a little surprised to find him there at six in the morning, bent over a microscope.

"Good morning, Hank," he said without looking up.

"Good – good morning," he started, the break sounding odd in the baritone timbre he still wasn't used to hearing from his own throat. "Why are you here…so – so early, I mean."

"A…bit of a personal project," Charles said slowly, still not looking up.

"Oh. Can I have a look?" he asked. He wasn't sure, but he thought he saw the professor's shoulders tense.

"If you want," he said, backing away and allowing Beast through for a look.

"What am I looking at?" he asked as he looked through the lens down at a hastily prepared sample.

"A DNA sample," Charles answered, his voice pitched slightly higher than normal. Beast didn't notice.

"I know _that_, Charles," he said, rolling his eyes. "I meant what's it _from_?"

"Erik," Charles answered after several minutes.

Beast, being the scientist he was, didn't immediately find this awkward, but then he thought about it…_really_ thought about it…and the fact that Charles was _with_ Erik. So, since Erik had an abject intolerance of needles, there was really only one likely place the specimen could have come from.

"Ah," the young scientist barely managed to keep himself from squeaking, tensing to keep himself from jumping back from the microscope. As if it weren't already awkward enough…

"And that's a sample from me," Charles added, glancing at the ceiling as he indicated the slide next to the instrument. Without looking down, Beast closed his eyes a moment, trying very hard not to freak out like a naïve little ten-year-old.

"And…why are you looking at…samples?"

For a long moment, the telepath looked torn, but Beast knew that if he'd wanted to avoid this conversation, there were many ways in which he could have. He was talking to him now because he _wanted_ to.

"Hank…you won't tell anybody about this, will you?"

"I guess not…assuming "this" is at least somewhat within reason."

Charles ran his fingers through his hair, sighing in slight frustration. "I'm really not sure anymore. I just don't want anyone else to know yet…incase I've gone completely off my rocker."

"Well…?"

"A few nights ago…I had a dream…a very good dream," he said, smiling fondly at the memory.

"Yes," Beast said, nodding for him to continue.

"In my dream…Erik and I had…we had…a child…a daughter…" he said, not quite looking at him.

"Charles," the younger man began slowly, not really sure what to say.

"I know. I _know_ it was just a dream, Hank. You don't have to lecture me…but it…really got me to thinking…if you can do _this_…with a simple serum," he said, indicating his impressive physique, "then why couldn't Erik and I…combine our own DNA…under laboratory conditions…to create…a child?"

"You of all people know how complex the human genome is. Something like that…would take a _lot_ of work," Beast said, trying to be practical, even though he couldn't deny that his interest was piqued by the idea.

"But it would be _worth_ it. Erik…Erik _deserves_ to have a real family again…and I can't give that to him naturally."

Beast gave him a somewhat lopsided smile at this. "What? There won't be enough kids running around here soon enough?"

Charles shook his head, his own smile weary. "This is different and you know it. I…I've never wanted anything like this before…not with anyone I've ever been with…and it's suddenly all I can think about. I suppose it's a little bit…silly."

"No," Beast said, finally moving away from the microscope. "There's _nothing_ silly about wanting a family…and you gave that to all of us. It would be downright ungrateful of me not to help you now…when I can see how badly you want this."

At this, Charles offered him a weak smile. "Thank you, Hank."

"Whatever else ends up happening, you do realize you're going to need a surrogate…to carry the baby?"

"I'd realized. Pele and Artemis are too young, of course…and really, it would just be…awkward…asking Mystique to do it."

"That leaves…Destiny, then," Beast finished for him. Charles nodded.

"There's really no one else I _can_ ask…and she probably knew I was going to ask before I even had that dream," he said, thinking he finally understood what she'd said to him in the study all those weeks ago.

"And…when do you…think you'll tell Erik?" Beast asked hesitantly. Charles' expression darkened slightly at the question.

"Not until we're sure it can work. It may take a while…but I don't want to get his hopes up…just to fail. I couldn't do that to him," the professor answered after a time.

"All right. Until then, my lips are completely sealed. Where do we start?"

XxX

It wasn't until about the middle of February that Pele felt ready to undertake another therapy session. This time, it was her, Charles, Erik, _and_ Artemis together in the study.

"This time, I think we'll all try sharing a memory…assuming there are no interruptions this time," Charles explained. The four of them couldn't all fit comfortably on the couch, so he had them sitting in a circle on the floor.

"So…who goes first this time?" Erik asked, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"Artemis?" Charles began, turning to look at the young woman. "Would you like to tell us about Swift Wind today?"

Slowly, Artemis nodded. She was wearing one of her new outfits, but she'd brought the fur dress with her today. "I am…ready," she said, closing her eyes and waiting for him to begin.

Nodding himself, Charles reached out to the three other minds, making sure they were all connected before proceeding forward into Artemis' memories. The memory they emerged in was somewhere in the forest, just outside a wolf den at midday. The large black wolf, the alpha, the one who had first welcomed Artemis, was stretched out beside the entrance.

_Silent Strike_, Artemis' mind supplied for them. _I always called him Silence. He was my father._

Apart from him, there were three other adult wolves in the clearing. Two silver and white ones paced the clearing's edge, keeping watch. Look Far and Sun Chaser. The third, a white wolf called Winter's Whisper, was the mother of the litter of four pups she was currently watching over…well, the four pups and the human pup among them. All five of them rolled together on the ground, biting, scratching, and yipping playfully. Two of the pups were black, one was silver, and the last was the same pure white as Whisper.

_Swift Wind was born two springs ago,_ Artemis explained for them. _She earned her name first in the litter by being faster than any of her siblings…faster than Look Far and Whisper, even. We were all looking forward to the day she'd be able to join us in the hunt._

Next they were treated to an image of Artemis, Swift Wind, and one of the black pups running through the trees. The trees kept the two wolf pups from running at full speed, So Artemis could keep pace with them here.

_We were so close…the three of us…_Artemis continued to explain. _Me, Swift Wind, and Shadow Tracker. We were going to be a brilliant team._

Once again, the scene shifted. It was winter and the pack was pursuing a bull moose across an open field. Silence, Whisper, and Sun Chaser were all attempting to slow the beast down so Artemis could catch up and deliver the killing blow. Look Far was waiting at the edge of the forest with the four young wolves.

_Artemis was coming at the slowing animal from an angle, focusing herself to crush the heart. However, just when she was in the moose's line of sight, not even ten feet away, something happened that had never happened to her before: she slipped. Her moccasins lost purchase on the snow and she went down, sliding straight toward the rampaging creature._

_Vaguely, she heard a warning howl from Look Far, and the next thing she knew, Swift Wind was in front of her, snapping at the large animal._

_Artemis and Silence both snarled at the young wolf, warning her to get back, but Swift Wind had never been part of a hunt before, and in her haste to protect Artemis, she'd forgotten the most important rule: Never attack your quarry head on._

_Swift Wind was easily beat down, and before any of them could react, one of the massive hooves came down on her head, crushing it instantly. _

_Artemis screamed…a primal, horrified, **human** sound._

_**Sister…sister!**_

_Then, in a flash of rage, she rose and easily felled the beast. Ignoring its brief death throes, she quickly ran to her sister, gathering the limp white body in her human arms and holding her close._

_As the rest of the pack gathered around her, Artemis threw her head back and howled, long and mournful. The others joined in, singing their lament for their lost daughter and sister. And as the seasons passed following Swift Wind's death, and Artemis took up her fur to honor her memory as only a human could do, she lived with an emotion a wolf does not feel._

_Guilt._

When the four of them returned to the physical plane, Artemis was sitting still, her eyes bright with unshed tears.

"Never fell," she said quietly. "Never before…never since. If…I had not fallen…Swift Wind…would have lived."

"You can't know that," Charles told her, resting a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"So…you wear your sister's skin around?" Pele asked, raising an eyebrow. "Charming."

"Pele," Charles began, his tone warning.

Artemis didn't seem offended by the intended jibe, though. Gently, she stroked the white fur hood. "It is…my honor…to carry her with me. She was…beautiful…and she still…is."

Erik looked at the wolf girl with renewed interest. He had never heard it described quite that way before…to say that something was beautiful…even in death. He had seen the most horrific death had to offer. Just what was beautiful about it?

The metal-kine felt Charles' gaze more than anything, but the telepath didn't say anything until Erik had looked up to acknowledge him.

_You've seen a thing or two that's beautiful in death. Your brother…_

_What about him?_ The thought was sharp…biting. He'd nearly managed to make himself forget he'd had a brother. Max had been killed _before_ they were carted off to Auschwitz, and everything before that was…hazy, at best.

_Would you mind…going next?_ Charles asked him, placing his fingers to his temple. Slowly, Erik nodded. If he had to do this anyway, may as well get it over with.

The two girls realized what the subtle gestures meant and waited for Charles to begin, which he did only when he was certain Erik was ready.

The memory they emerged in this time was about as different from the previous ones as it was possible to be. They were in a cellar, lit by only a few candles and a lantern on a small table at the center. Five people inhabited the cellar at the moment. Charles had to work hard to draw context for the other two from Erik's mind, as his lover was not quite so forthcoming about his memories as Artemis was. The memory was in German, of course, but Charles' power connected with Erik's mind created a sort of instant translation among the four of them.

Erik himself was sitting in the farthest corner of the cellar, just a boy, barely nine, playing with a few marbles. His parents, Jakob and Annika Lehnsherr, were sitting at the table, talking in hushed tones. The other two who occupied the small space were sitting on the stairs that led up to the rest of the house: Max Lehnsherr and Gisella Johannes.

Gisella and Max had both been fourteen when the war broke out…and already openly smitten with each other. Jakob Lehnsherr and Gisella's father, Karl, took slight exception, with the Lehnsherrs being Jewish and Johanneses being Christians in those turbulent times. Nothing much was said about it, though, as Jakob loved his wife very much and she liked Gisella, and Karl's opinion often couldn't be heard over his abrasive wife's, and Lisbet Johannes and Annika had been childhood friends, so the Lehnsherrs were practically family. In fact, when the "resettlement" of Dusseldorf's Jewish population had begun, Lisbet had been quick to help the family disappear. They'd been hiding out in the Johannes' cellar for the past five years, and Max and Gisella were engaged to be married once the war was over and the Lehnsherrs could come out of hiding…if such a day ever came.

_Gisella and Max were whispering amorously together when the cellar door suddenly burst open and Lisbet came flying down into the dimly lit room. Gisella and Max jumped up to join his parents at the table._

"_Annika! Jakob! You must run! Get out of here now! Take your sons! Take Gisella! Please! Run!"_

"_What's happened?" Annika asked as they rose from the table._

"_We are betrayed! Karl went to the authorities. They're coming for you right now! They'll be here any minute! There might still be time for you to get away," she explained, her voice hushed and urgent._

_She needn't have bothered, though. It was already too late._

_The sound of the door crashing open was unmistakable. Then came the sound of heavy boots marching across the floor. The soldiers were at the entrance in moments. Two of them came down._

"_Lisbet and Gisella Johannes," one announced. "You are charged with concealing enemies of the state. Do you deny these charges?"_

_Lisbet drew herself up proudly, standing squarely between the Nazi officers and Erik's parents. "How can I? The evidence is here before you. Even if there **was** some way to deny it, I still wouldn't. These people are my friends and neighbors."_

_The officer sneered at the heavy-set woman. "Then you and your daughter will share in their punishment."_

_Annika tried to step in at this. "Lisbet, no. You mustn't-"_

"_No!" Gisella shouted, moving to stand in front of Max and flinging her arms wide. "You're **not** taking them! What have they done?"_

_It was stupid…to challenge him like that. She had probably known that, but there was no escape. They'd all known it before Lisbet had even opened her mouth to warn them._

_It was over._

"_Resistance?" the officer asked, smirking as he drew out a pistol. Before anyone could say or do anything, there was a deafening bang, a faint gasp, and a bullet in Gisella's heart._

_Certainly there must have been screaming…horror…denial…anger, but Erik registered none of it. All he could see was Gisella tumbling backward, as if in slow motion…and the look of shocked disbelief on his brother's face as he caught her in his arms, her blood splashing onto him._

_Erik was shocked, of course, but he had known shock, fear, and sadness almost every day of his life. Not once in his young life had he seen a look like he saw on his older brother's face in that moment. At that moment in time, he could not possibly have known the depths of such a loss._

_At the very least, Gisella had died quickly…with little suffering…but that was of small comfort to Max, whom she had essentially taken a bullet for. He stared down at her glassy, empty eyes, allowing the grief of her loss to stab him for only a moment before leaping to his feet, screaming like a beast gone mad. Immediately, he rushed the soldier, who took a fearful step back before firing off a shot directly into the young man's forehead, nearly at point blank range. _

_Max's body fell back, coming to rest beside Gisella's. The entire thing had happened in barely more than a minute. Even this did not cause Erik to cry out. He had been taught **never** to cry out. He simply raced to his brother's side, shaking him, even though he knew it was hopeless. He continued to shake him for several minutes, finally laying his head down on his brother's still chest and letting silent tears flow._

"_They are together," Erik heard his mother say. His father whispered a soft prayer in Hebrew._

"_Leave the bodies," one of the officers ordered as another pulled Erik away from his brother. "Let them **rot** there."_

_Erik tried not to understand what the order meant as he and the three adults were dragged away. He kept his gaze on Max and Gisella for as long as he could…his last image of the two of them lying together…at peace._

"Ich… Ich ging zurück," Erik murmured, drawing them all back to reality. The metal-kine's eyes were red-rimmed and he was clutching his fists tightly against his thighs in a desperate attempt to hold himself together. "I went back to bury them…when it was over. They'd already executed Karl Johannes before they came for us. They really did just…leave them there…but…at least they didn't have to live through it…" he trailed off, not sure why he'd added that last bit.

"They died together," Charles said quietly. _They didn't have to endure the pain of separation…and that image stayed with you._

_I didn't…really understand my brother back then…how he could just…run into a bullet like that,_ he thought as he looked at Charles, the words only for him. _I think I do now._

Charles smiled warmly at him, sending the feeling of an embrace to him through their link. Then he refocused his attention on the rest of the group.

"Well…since we're all being honest today, I suppose it's my turn to share."

No one said anything to this. The other three waited, in stillness and silence, for Charles to continue. He did eventually, reaching out to them and connecting them to his own memories.

The moment the telepath chose to reveal to them was a long time ago, as Erik's had been. Charles couldn't have been more than ten. He was sitting at the table in the kitchen, pouring over several books and scribbling furiously in a notebook. His study time, however, was soon interrupted.

_Cain Marko_, Charles narrated for them as an older boy, at least thirteen, stomped into the room. _My stepbrother. My father died when I was three and Mother remarried again when I was eight….a man named Kurt Marko. The Markos were…abusive…to say the least, but Cain took special delight in making my life miserable._

"_Hey, freak!" Cain taunted him. "You're getting that homework done, yeah?"_

_Charles sighed. "Absolutely, dear brother. You would do better to do it yourself, though."_

"_Yeah," Cain said, crossing to the fridge and pulling out a carton of milk, taking a swig directly from it. "Except I've got better things to do."_

"_I wonder what would happen if I were to tell Kurt you don't do your own work," Charles speculated casually. _

_Cain instantly whirled on him, a small stream of milk spraying from the carton. "You **know** what would happen…to you anyway," he said, stalking over to his stepbrother and lifting him up by his collar. "I'd **bury** you in the back yard."_

_Charles smirked at his stepbrother, a dark sense of humor already developed even at the tender age of ten. "Promises, promises, Cain."_

_His dark eyes flashing in anger, Cain delivered a harsh blow to Charles' defenseless stomach. His body curled in on itself automatically, but other than that, the only sign of pain he gave was a small grunt. Dissatisfied with the reaction, Cain threw him to the ground…**hard**. It took a great deal of restraint for Charles not to cry out. Then the older boy kicked him in the stomach, and the young Xavier couldn't help but give a small whimper of pain, nearly vomiting from the force of the blow._

"_Do you want me to stop, little freak?" Cain asked, lording it over him. He had taken to calling Charles 'little freak' because he knew there was something off about him…just not what, and Charles preferred it that way. He didn't want Cain to know the extent of his powers. He only used them in order to keep his stepbrother from turning his rage on Raven. Charles himself, however, was fair game._

_Charles gave no response to the taunt. He just lay there, eyes closed, trembling. After several minutes of this, Cain lifted him up by his collar yet again. _

"_I **said**…do you **want** me to **stop**, little freak?"_

_Charles nodded, hating himself, but knowing it wouldn't stop until he begged. Cain shifted his grip so that he held Charles by the throat, rather than the collar._

"_**Say** it!" he hissed in his face, squeezing, choking the air from his lungs. "**Beg** me to stop."_

"_P-please," he whispered, already light-headed from the lack of oxygen, "stop…Cain…**stop**. I can't…**breathe**…"_

"_That's better," Cain said, dropping him to the floor once again, and again Charles' small body curled in on itself, and he coughed as he struggled for breath._

"_Clean up that milk," Cain ordered on his way out. "And make sure the homework's done."_

This time, when they returned to reality, Charles was the one shaking. He sat still with his eyes closed, taking slow, deep breaths, but he couldn't quite manage to suppress the slight tremor of his body.

"Not all sunshine and roses after all," he said, more than a little bitter.

For a moment, Erik stared at his lover in shock. He had known about Cain and Kurt, of course, but somehow, even after all the times they'd been in each other's heads, Charles had managed to keep these memories from him.

Being the first of them to break the circle, Erik crawled across to Charles and pulled him into his arms. Charles wasn't sure why, but he had to fight crying out at the contact.

_I'll kill him for you. I __**swear**__ I will._

Charles chuckled softly at this. _While the sentiment is appreciated, you don't have to worry about __**him**__. Cain won't be bothering us anymore._

"Why didn't you tell me?" Erik asked after several minutes.

"You have enough horrors in your past without having to deal with mine, as well."

_You were better off thinking I was a spoiled brat._

Erik glared slightly as he pulled back. "That isn't how this works and you know it."

Suddenly, inexplicably desperate, Charles reached out for him, pressing his forehead against his.

"I'm telling you _now_, aren't I?"

_I'll share it all with you someday…I promise._

Somewhat placated by this, Erik pressed a brief kiss to Charles' lips before resuming his place in the circle. Pele would have commented on it…except that Erik was looking directly at her now.

"Your turn, little spitfire."

"Lovely," the seven-year-old said, keeping her tone even. "What are we in for? Emma's brutal training ground? Sebastian's bed? What do you feel like?" she asked, trying to sound casual.

"No," Charles said slowly, thinking about it a moment. "I think…we need to meet your father…if that's all right with _you_, of course."

Pele glanced sharply at the professor. If she could have, Erik was almost certain she would have burned him, but ultimately, she squared her shoulders, her face set in a grim mask.

"Whatever you like," she said primly, her eyes closed.

Charles was even more cautious with Pele than he'd been with Erik, knowing he could be thrown back at any moment. Pele was not so comfortable with having him in her head as Erik was.

The memory Charles found his way to was in the underground complex, as the others had been, but Pele was much younger even than she was now. She was gripping the bars of a cell and the man on the other side…her father…gently patted her cheek. Shaw and Emma were standing just behind Pele.

"_Wha'll you do if I __**don'**__ do it?" the little girl demanded petulantly as tears streamed down her face._

"_It's really quite simple, my dear. If you refuse…I'm just going to kill your father."_

"_Go ahead and kill me," the man in the cell fired back. "You can't make her do this. It's cruel."_

_Shaw chuckled. "You misunderstand me, Keoni. If she refuses, you will **both** die, not just you. The only way to save your daughter's life…is **my** way."_

_For a moment, the man called Keoni looked torn, but then his face set into a mask of hard resolve and he reached forward to wipe the tears from his daughter's face. The memory of his voice was still strong in her head._

_**Dear Kalani…my little Iolana…I'm so sorry. Can you forgive me for this?**_

_**Papa,** she sent the thought to him privately, even though she knew the diamond lady could hear them. **I don't mind…if we die. We can go see Mama.**_

_**No, baby. It isn't time for you to see Mama yet. You **have** to do this. You **have** to live. She **wanted** you to live…and so do I…no matter what the cost.**_

"_But…it might kill you!" she sobbed._

"_I know. It's all right. I **want** you to do it. Just pretend I'm one of those nasty kids on the playground."_

"_No…Papa, no…" she pleaded._

"_Do your best…as hard as you can," he told her firmly. "Then it'll be over faster."_

"_Don't…don't make me-"_

"_Iolana," he interrupted her. "You **have** to. If you don't survive…you shame your Mama's memory. You don't want to do that, do you?"_

_Sniffling, she shook her head, reaching through the bars to touch his face one last time._

_**I…I'll…I'll make you both…proud of me.**_

"_Iolana?" Shaw questioned warningly._

_**I love you, Papa.**_

_With that, she turned her power on full force. Having experienced it when she was younger and had little control over it, Keoni was prepared for the first wave, able to control himself and prevent signs of his agony from showing. She kept her eyes closed all the while._

_Near the end, he couldn't manage to keep himself from crying out, and she could feel his pain in her head and heart and she could hear it in her ears. Tears flowed continuously down her face._

"_I can't! I can't do it!" she sobbed._

"_**NO!**" he screamed at her, clutching his head in white fists. "You have to finish this!"_

_Screaming in agony right along with her father, Iolana did just that. She pushed harder than she ever had before…and she felt something inside of him break._

_At the last, he gave her a thought…his very last._

_**I love you, my little eagle.**_

_For a long moment, the four-year-old stared at her father's crumpled body. Then she let out one last scream of horror before collapsing herself._

_**You are not Iolana anymore,** she heard Emma's voice in her head as her world went black. **From now on, you will be Pele, vengeful child of the volcano.**_

"Iolana," Pele whispered as they all snapped back to the waking world. She was crying in that odd way of hers…where the tears streamed down her face, but there was nothing of them in her voice. "My name…is Iolana."

"So who are you?" Charles asked carefully, knowing the wrong reaction at this juncture could be fatal. "Who do _you_ want to be? Iolana…or Pele?"

Shaking her head, she drew shaky breaths in and out. "It's hard to know. Who would _want_ to be Iolana? She killed her father, after all."

"Only because he asked her to," Charles insisted calmly.

"Maybe so…but if she'd been stronger, she might not have listened. She might have fought."

"She was four years old."

"There's a difference between a four-year-old telepath and a four-year-old human."

"Not emotionally."

"Even so, if I'm not her…why would I want to be Pele? Pele is Sebastian's toy. I guess there's just…no one for me to be."

"Nonsense," Erik said quietly. "That's up to you…not Shaw or anyone else. _You_ decide who you want to be."

"You can talk," Pele bit at him. "You didn't _kill_ your mother. Sebastian shot her. At least you still have a reason to be Erik Lehnsherr. There's someone for you to seek vengeance against. Who can _I_ seek vengeance from? _I have no one to blame but myself!_" she screamed, leaping to her feet and turning on Charles. "You say you want to show me not everyone's like Sebastian, but how can that be…when a kid like me can kill her father? What am I _supposed_ to think? What am I supposed to _be_…but what I am? A killer," she said, falling slowly to her knees as the tears poured down her face, a strangled sob finally escaping her throat.

As the tears and sobs came harder and faster, Erik was the one to finally come to her. She didn't resist when he pulled her into his arms; she just clung tightly to him, sobbing helplessly, like the little girl she'd never had the chance to be. She cried now for all the times in the past three years she hadn't been able to…all the pain…the fear…the sadness, anger, and self-hatred…it all came to bear in this single, horrible, liberating moment.

"I k-killed them - both!" she sobbed into the metal-kine's chest. "I killed my - mother…just by b-being born…and…Papa…"

"You're a child. You _cannot_ be held responsible for any of that."

"C-cannot be – h-held…maybe," she struggled to get out through the overpowering sobs. "_Feel_…responsible? Abso-lutely."

"Maybe you're right," Charles conceded as he came to kneel beside the two of them. "No normal seven-year-old could feel the wait of guilt for this that you do. You're different from most mutant children, even…because you can know the minds of others…and you can understand guilt and responsibility. I _know_ how you _feel_, Iolana."

"W-why…Iolana?" she asked, stealing a glance at the older telepath.

"Because Iolana must accept what is," he said, reaching forward to wipe away the remaining tears and snot. "She cannot conceal herself within Pele forever…and never know who it is she really wants to be. Would Iolana's parents want that for her?"

Pele hesitated a long moment before shaking her head. Slowly she allowed Erik to release her from his embrace, though she was still sniffling slightly when she turned to fully face Charles.

"You don't have to decide right now," he told her, placing a hand firmly on her shoulder. "You can make the choice whenever you feel ready, knowing what you know now…but what Erik said is true. Only _you_ can make the decision."

Pele didn't acknowledge his words one way or the other. She just looked…empty…drained of absolutely everything. It was in this moment that Artemis came to her, whining softly as she wrapped her arms around her, nuzzling her and gently licking her ear. After a few minutes of this, a sad smile took up residence on her face and she let out a bitter chuckle, gently pushing at the wolf girl.

"Stop it, you forest freak," she said half-heartedly. "Let me go."

"If you two wouldn't mind, could you gather the others in the living room? Ask Mystique to find the projector equipment. I want everyone down there in half an hour."

Artemis nodded excitedly, but tempered her enthusiasm so that she could match pace with Pele's slower steps as they headed out of the study. Erik and Charles both remained on their knees for several minutes, staring after them.

"She was never…actively repressing…like Artemis is doing. She was doing what you've been doing," Charles started to explain as he slowly sat down on the floor again.

"And what was I doing?" Erik asked, moving to sit beside him.

"You knew…that certain memories were present…rather you knew they'd occurred, even if you couldn't consciously recall…and you intentionally didn't think about them because if you did…before you could handle it…you may well have gone mad. It's the same with her."

Erik almost wanted to protest at this, but he knew he couldn't. Charles spoke nothing but the truth. So Erik wrapped an arm around his shoulders and thanked him for that honesty, pressing his lips against his.

"They shouldn't be forgotten," he said once they'd separated. "People like Max…and Gisella…and Keoni. It's a wonderful thing you do."

"Is it?" Charles asked, glancing down at their intertwined hands. "I don't _really_ know what I'm doing. Sometimes I wonder if…maybe the past shouldn't just _stay_ in the past. What if I end up hurting them more in the end?"

"That can never be…I don't think so, anyway," Erik said sincerely. "Because you're honestly trying to help them. I think they know that."

"But…Shaw said he was trying to help _you_," Charles said tentatively, turning to look at his volatile lover.

"Shaw was trying to help himself," Erik snarled quietly, his hold on Charles briefly tightening. "You damn well better not let the things he said get to you. You're _not_ like that. Believe me. I would know."

"I suppose you're right," Charles said, allowing his head to rest briefly on Erik's shoulder. "Happy Valentine's Day, darling."

This was such a complete one-eighty in topics, Erik really had no choice but to pull back and stare at Charles.

"What was that?"

"Today is Valentine's Day. We seem to be very bad at remembering holidays in this household."

"I mean what is that?"

"It's a holiday for lovers. You're supposed to let your significant other know how much you treasure them."

"Huh," was all Erik could really manage, unable to keep from thinking that the damn corporations had a holiday for everything.

"I'll be letting you know later tonight," Charles said with a somewhat sly grin. "In the mean time, I think I have a plan for what we might do with the children…specifically Artemis and Pele. I think they could use a little family get together."

"A plan?" Erik asked slowly, still trying to catch up.

"Exactly. Why do you think I wanted Mystique to find the projector?"

XxX

(A/N) Ah, _there's_ my angst. Well, I hope it's all still working for you. Some notes for this chapter. Did anyone else notice that the Lehnsherr family didn't end up in captivity until 1944…near the end of the war? The only explanation I could think of was that they were hiding out somewhere. My mind extrapolated from there. And if Charles' memory of Cain doesn't quite seem to align with things that have come before, don't worry, there's a reason for it.

**Translation:** Ich ging zurück = I went back. At least, that was my intention.

And now that I've gotten my angst on, there will be more fluff. Perhaps I can strike a nice balance?


	5. The World at his Feet

(A/N) Thanks again for the favorites/alerts and reviews. And now, for your entertainment…

**How Do You Measure…?**

_Chapter 5: The World at his Feet_

The inhabitants of the Xavier mansion, with the exception of Destiny, were much surprised thirty minutes later to find that the reason Charles had called them together was for a movie night…even more surprised when the Oxford graduate's film of choice ended up being none other than Fantasia.

"Aren't we gettin' a little old for Disney flicks?" Havok asked, eyeing the projector system Mystique had set up.

"Absolutely not. I am a firm believer in keeping one's inner child alive and active. Besides, I thought we all ought to do something for Valentine's Day. Am I correct in thinking you lot forgot, as well?"

The three boys shifted awkwardly, looking at their feet, Artemis and Pele didn't really know what Charles was talking about, and Mystique and Destiny glanced at each other briefly and shrugged.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"But…Fantasia?" Banshee picked up the protest, still resisting sitting.

"If I have to do it, the rest of you do, too," Pele sniped from her place on the floor, all traces of her earlier breakdown gone.

"I should think you of all people would have an appreciation for music, Sean," Charles said as he worked to set the film into the projector. Seeing he was going to get no mercy from the professor, Banshee sighed and plopped down on the couch just behind Pele. Artemis was already on the couch, waiting excitedly for whatever was to happen. Beast, Mystique, and Destiny all took up places on the couch or on chairs. Apart from Charles, the only ones still standing were Havok and Erik.

"Havok," Charles began before the young man could protest any further. "This is Artemis' first film. I imagine she'd like to enjoy it with you. Are you really going to spoil it for her by being contrary?"

As if on cue, Artemis looked over at them, her bright eyes meeting Havok's hasty glance. He couldn't pretend he was still going to argue the point after that. For whatever reason, he just couldn't say no to Artemis. So he went to her and squeezed into the space between her and Banshee.

_Your first, as well?_ Charles asked Erik as he began to run the projector.

_May as well be,_ the metal-kine answered after a time. _Anything else was just for training._

_I see. Well, this isn't your average movie. There isn't really a story, but I suppose that won't bother you as much,_ Charles explained, leading Erik to one of the unoccupied armchairs as the opening narration began to play. They sat down in the large chair, snuggled close together, and not caring what the others thought.

Before any of the spectacular visuals began to appear, Pele was already captured by the opening chords of the Toccata.

"What…what is that?" she asked aloud, the look on her face at once perplexed and entranced as the music poured into her ears.

Not giving any of the others a chance to misunderstand her meaning, Charles asked her, "You've never heard music before?"

Pele shook her head slowly. "Never," she whispered, her mind drinking in the explanations Charles' mind was giving her as she watched. She was held spellbound for the rest of the film.

Artemis, already familiar with her own brand of music, was more entranced by the images, vibrant color still being very much a new thing for her. The look of joyous wonder remained on her face the entire time.

Charles didn't need to look at Erik's face to know he was experiencing much the same thing, whether or not he would admit to it later. The quiet amazement echoed from his mind in waves. Even the rebellious minds of Banshee and Havok were beginning to quell upon seeing how floored the two girls were by a simple movie.

_Perhaps music is your way to peace, dear heart,_ Charles thought as he watched Pele, feeling the never-ceasing waves of awe and…dare he think it…_joy_ flowing from her mind.

Smiling as he snuggled even closer against Erik, Charles felt himself starting to nod off. He wasn't really watching the movie, after all. He was just enjoying every one else's reactions to it. Just when he was almost asleep, he felt Erik press a soft kiss to his ear.

_I hope you sleep well tonight, little lab rat. This might actually have been a good idea._

Charles couldn't help smiling contentedly as he drifted off, Erik's comforting scent still heavy in his nose.

XxX

"It seems to me that we'll have to expand the underground complex in order to make this design work," Charles said as he looked over Beast's blueprints for the new Cerebro. Beast, Charles, and Erik were all gathered in the study for something of a budget meeting for the coming changes to the mansion.

"Are you sure you don't want to build it above ground like the old one?" Beast asked him.

"You had government backing for that installation. This one can't be as…conspicuous. All of these things we're planning…they really do need to be underground."

"Charles…do you have any _idea_ what kind of construction costs we're looking at, even with_out_ doing it underground? It's bound to raise questions no matter which way we go."

"Oh, I don't know about that," Charles said, a knowing smile lighting up his face. "After all, we _do_ have a metal-kine and a tele-kine in our midst. I think the only construction cost we'll need to worry about is materials."

Beast's gaze moved ponderously between Erik and Charles for several minutes. "Well, no need to worry about _you_," he said to Erik, "but…Artemis? Do you really think she can handle it?"

"I have no doubt. Artemis has had to depend very heavily on her powers in order to survive. She's much more in control of them than even _she_ realizes. All she needs is a little more self-confidence."

"And you?" Beast asked Erik.

"Oh, yeah," Erik said casually, running a hand over the blueprint. "This is all very doable. I _do_ expect you to refine this thing, though. Your last one was harder on Charles than he wants to admit. I was actually more than a little happy it was destroyed," he said, throwing the telepath a chastising smirk. Charles gave no reaction one way or the other.

"Already working on it," Beast said as he went through several more notes. "If you approve the design, we can break ground once the snow melts, but…you said something about expanding the underground?"

"Yes. The existing bunker will be helpful, but apart from Cerebro, we're also going to need better training and medical facilities if we're to continue doing what we've been doing and keep Shaw from destroying the world, and of course, we'll have to make arrangements for when you rebuild the Blackbird."

Beast couldn't help but smile at this. He'd been hoping to rebuild his baby, certainly, but he hadn't actually broached the subject with Charles. Well, now he had his answer.

"Thank you very much, Charles."

"Think nothing of it, Hank. After all, I imagine we'll have need of your bird in the near future."

XxX

Havok could understand insomnia, having grappled with bouts of it himself. The fact that he could understand it, however, didn't mean that he was particularly pleased with Artemis over it.

He had woken alone for the first time in several weeks. When a search of the wolf girl's room revealed no trace of her, he'd decided to go in search of her, not sure if it was safe for her to be wandering around at night, or if she might even be sleepwalking, which could prove even more dangerous.

After nearly an hour of aimless searching, Havok found himself in the lab around two in the morning, more than a little surprised to find Beast there, scribbling furiously at something or other.

"My God, man. Don't you ever sleep?" he asked, his voice jolting the young scientist out of his intense concentration.

"On occasion," he answered, looking slightly flustered at having been caught off guard. "There's a lot to get done…and Charles and Erik are still…"

"Dealing?" Havok supplied.

"Yes…still dealing with what happened…so I don't want them to have too much to deal with if I can help at all."

"What are you workin' on now?" he asked, venturing further into the lab.

"Updating the schematics for the Blackbird. I may have found a way to compensate for some of the G-force. I also need to figure out just what sort of requirements a hangar for her would need before I can start designing it. And…what are _you_ doing in here so late?" Beast asked, as if the strangeness of it had only just occurred to him. "Feeling okay?"

"Fine. You haven't seen Artemis, have you? She wasn't in her room," he explained, taking a quick look around the lab.

"I haven't seen her, but considering that it's her, you might do better to look outside," Beast suggested with a small smile.

"I was afraid of that," Havok said, shivering at the thought of the snow just outside.

"Bit of a handful, is she?" Beast asked, not quite looking at him.

"Sometimes…but…most of the time, not really. She's just…so happy…all the time…like everything's new and the world's still pretty…like when you were a kid. It's hard not to feel happy around her," Havok related, surprising himself with the openness of his words. "Sometimes I wish…the professor didn't _have_ to unlock what's in her mind."

"You don't _want_ her to find out who she is?" Beast asked, raising an eyebrow.

"That…isn't what I meant…so much," Havok said slowly, grasping for his own meaning. "I mean…when she gets her memory back…she'll be like the rest of us…just another broken toy. I wish…she could stay like she is now…carefree. Whatever happened to her seems like it was pretty bad."

"It still bothers her, though," Beast said quietly, finally looking at him. "She _knows_ something happened. Maybe it won't make her happy…but it just might bring her a measure of peace…to know where she came from."

"Maybe…or maybe she'll end up running from what she is…hiding from her name like the rest of us."

"Are you?" Beast asked him. "Hiding from your name, I mean."

Havok sighed in exasperation. "I don't know. Everyone calls me Havok…"

"Except Artemis," Beast finished.

"Yeah. I don't know if I'm _running_ from it…more like I don't know which one's really mine. The professor calls you guys by name…but he calls me Havok. Must be nice for Artemis and Pele…only having one name to worry about."

"Pele…has a name," Artemis' voice suddenly entered the lab. The two young men looked back to see her walking in on silent, nimble feet. "She remembered…last week…but she does not…know which one…she wants…either."

"You heard that," Havok said, more than a little despondent.

Artemis, of course, had zero sense of social grace, so it didn't once cross her mind to lie in order to spare his feelings, and he was grateful for this. She nodded, coming to him and placing a hand on his cheek.

"I am…happy…you worry…about me…makes me…warm," she said, pounding a fist over her heart, as she was wont to do when referring to herself, "but…Alex…I am…not whole."

"Do you really wanna be, though?" he asked, resting a hand over hers. "The rest of us are…whole. The past isn't a pretty thing for people like us."

"Wolf…does not hide. _I_ will not hide," she said, sounding slightly miffed, as if he'd challenged her courage. "We are…the same. We should…share…the same…pain."

He didn't want that. Not in a million years would he wish on Artemis the things he'd suffered…but he certainly couldn't stop her from wanting the things she wanted. Besides, who was he to question her ability to endure? She had survived in the wilderness for several years, after all.

And yet…she had intentionally stricken the event that caused it all from her mind. What could be so terrible…to lead a person to break her own memory? What?

"I just…don't want you to get hurt."

Artemis sighed at this, leaning in to nuzzle him. "Alex…you are my friend. If I am hurt…you will help me…help me to heal," she said slowly, being very careful of how she strung the words together. "I…trust you."

Unable to help smiling, Havok briefly returned the nuzzle before pulling away, taking her hand in his.

"We should probably get back to bed. I'm beat. Beast-man," he called back to the older male. "Get some sleep."

XxX

For once, Charles managed not to wake Erik when he snapped out of his nightmares, sweating, shaking, and breathing as if he'd just run a marathon…but he somehow managed not to scream, out loud or otherwise. That was the key.

He had dreamed of diamond fingers…digging into him…lacerating his skin until he was stripped of absolutely everything…nothing left but a quivering pile of bones.

Trying desperately to calm his racing heart, Charles climbed out of bed and moved over to the window, hoping that cooling himself off might calm his mind.

Opening the window wide and leaning out, the telepath inhaled deeply as the cold night air washed over his skin. Leaning weakly against the windowsill, Charles nearly felt like crying, the thoughts in his head swirling no less violently than before.

The first thing to emerge from the chaos was the ground far below. Was their bedroom really that high up? He'd never really thought about it before. What would falling from this height be like…jumping, even?

What would it be like…to just let it all go? To climb through the window, fly through the air for a few brief moments…and then have everything just _stop_?

"_Don't_."

Charles started as the harsh voice whispered in his ear and the vice-like fingers wrapped uncompromisingly around his upper arm…and pulled him back inside. He nearly threw up when he saw just how far out the window he'd been hanging.

"Don't even _think_ about it," Erik snarled quietly, pulling Charles fiercely against his chest and holding him there.

"How…when did you-"

"You think I can't hear you…just because you're not screaming? You were projecting pretty loud just now…and I _know_ thoughts like that…so I say again…_Don't_. Even. _Think_. About it."

"I…I wasn't, really…not seriously," Charles said, glancing nervously back at the open window. Glaring, Erik used his power to draw it shut.

"I…I didn't…I wasn't…" Charles murmured, no longer certain what his true intentions had been.

"Come on. Come sit," Erik said gently, leading Charles back to the bed. "Why didn't you wake me up?" he asked once the two of them were safely cuddled together, sitting against the headboard.

"I…don't know," the telepath answered, sounding almost ashamed. "I just…couldn't think. It was like…everything was closing in on me…and I had to get out."

"I want you to wake me up," Erik said firmly as he ran his fingers through Charles' hair. "I don't _care_ how late it is. If you need me, wake me up. If…if you hadn't been projecting…"

That was when Charles felt teardrops on his face…tears not his own. Looking up, he saw the offending drops silently sliding down his lover's face.

"Oh, Erik. Erik, I'm sorry. I- I didn't _mean_ to," he apologized profusely, leaning up to kiss his face.

_It isn't fair…it just isn't fair. One day it seems like I'm getting better…the next…something like __**this**__ happens. It isn't fair of me to put you through this._

"Put _me_ through this?" Erik asked, chuckling bitterly as he wiped the tears away. "As if this were somehow _your_ fault. I promise you, mein Schatz, I would _rather_ go through this than not have you at all."

_Without Charles Xavier…there __**is**__ no Erik Lehnsherr._

_It works the other way around, too,_ Charles returned, nuzzling closer and kissing Erik's neck.

"You know…I don't know if this is a good time…but I've been meaning to give you this," Erik said suddenly, shifting a hand in order to use his power to open the nightstand on his side of the bed. Something small and silvery drifted out at his command.

As Charles watched the item drift lazily toward them, it took shape as a key on a slender chain. Understanding Erik's intentions, he raised his head slightly, allowing Erik to drape the chain over his head and nestle it around his neck.

"What's this?" he asked, disentangling one of his hands from Erik's in order to have a look at the charm. It was an intricately crafted metal key, about an inch and a half in length. Looking at it from different angles, the metal loop the chain linked through could have been either a heart or a crown, as on a chess figure.

"Well, Charles, that would be a key," Erik answered plainly, grinning, though his eyes were still red.

"No, really?" Charles returned, giving him a playful smack. "I meant…what's the occasion."

"I never got you a present," the metal-kine explained. "For Christmas…or that Valentine thing of yours…and you gave me this," Erik said, nodding down at the small pendant, which he wore even to bed. "I…wanted you to know what it meant to me."

"Erik…you didn't _have_ to," Charles insisted, even though he couldn't deny he was thrilled with the tiny gift.

"I wanted to, though. I reshaped one of my blades to make it…so you can keep it with you. It's because…well…do you understand?" he asked, his cheeks turning slightly red.

"I think I do," Charles said, seeing that Erik felt awkward about explaining it. He didn't even really need to see his mind in order to understand. The charm spoke for itself. The telepath kissed the cool metal and pressed it firmly against his heart. "I'll keep it safe."

"Gut," Erik whispered, leaning down to press a kiss to his lips. It didn't escalate from there, as it often did. They just lay quietly together for a long while afterward, holding each other and breathing each other in. It may well have been hours that went by before Charles spoke.

"Erik…I know this may seem like a strange question, but…what do you think about babies?"

Erik quirked an eyebrow as he glanced down at Charles. Well…he _had_ said it might be a strange question. "I don't…really know. I've never been around any. I never saw myself as much of a father or anything like that."

"Oh, I think you would be a wonderful father."

"You think? I don't…really know. I guess…hypothetically speaking…I'd want any child of mine to have all the things _I_ never had…and that's a pretty long list."

"You see? You'd give your baby the world. I know it."

Erik cracked a small smile at this. "You know, it's almost a shame we're both male. You and I are both…so very exceptional," he said slowly, placing a teasing kiss to his lover's nose, "it's almost a sin to deprive the world of our progeny."

"Someone's modest," Charles said, smiling secretively. "But you shouldn't make fun, Erik. I was being serious."

"Well, so was I…to an extent," Erik said, tilting his head slightly to the side. "It _is_ a bit of a shame we can't. You and I would make a pretty decent child…and I think you already know my thoughts on you as a mother."

"Yes," Charles said, chuckling quietly. "I remember. So…would you…if we could?"

Erik stared down at him oddly for a moment. "Well…_yes_, I suppose I would…if we could, but it's never going to be an issue, is it. Why all the questions?"

"I don't know," Charles said, glancing down with that same smile on his face. "Just thinking, I suppose. It _is_ a nice thought."

"Yeah…I guess it is," Erik said, thinking no more of it as he laid his head against Charles', beginning to doze off again.

Were he not currently tangled in Erik's arms, Charles might have jumped for joy. What he and Hank were working on was an experiment, and he would never have actually proceeded with anything without Erik's permission, but now he knew for sure…and he and Hank were so close to a breakthrough. It wouldn't be long now. Maybe his dream…_could_ become a reality.

_You'll see, Erik…soon…you'll see. I promise you._

XxX

It hadn't taken Shaw long to replace the yacht Erik had so thoroughly demolished. After all, what was a mutant mastermind without his toys?

The Hellfire Club's inner circle was currently cruising somewhere off the coast of Italy in the newly christened _Maharani_. The four of them were gathered on the upper deck. Shaw was pacing casually, a glass of scotch in hand, while the other three watched. Well, more accurately, Emma and Azazel watched while Blindfold pointed her face in the direction she knew him to be from moment to moment.

"I'm sure you've both been wondering what Blindfold and I have been discussing these last few weeks," Shaw said after taking a drink.

"Something like that," Emma said, raising a perfectly sculpted eyebrow.

"Well, we've been discussing an alliance with the humans…more specifically, Agent Stryker of the CIA."

For a moment, Azazel lapsed into a string of Russian, but he eventually came out with a simple, "What?"

"We would be in control, of course, and we'll need to bring in some more of our own people, as Stryker is already familiar with the three of us. Think about it, though. Could Stryker really resist the information we have to offer? The location of the mutants he's hunting?"

"Is it a good idea?" Emma wondered. "Working with him?" What with the helmet, she just couldn't read him like she used to, and it was starting to bother her.

"Control…_unleash_ him would be more accurate terms, I think. You see, my dear, the best way to destroy this new opposition is to break it at the heart…and Charles and Erik are that heart. You've seen the conflict between them with your own eyes. What better way to drive a wedge between them than to have them think the humans are attacking their precious sanctuary?"

A chilly smile crept across Emma's face at this. "You know…you just might be right."

"And I've got just the two mutants in mind for the job," Shaw said, returning Emma's look with a smirk of his own.

XxX

(A/N) So, does anyone have any mutants they want to see in the Hellfire Club? I'm not as well versed in comic lore as I could be, so I'm not sure which route to go yet. If anyone has any suggestions, do let me know.


	6. Will I Wake Tomorrow

(A/N) Thank you for the continuing views and reviews.

No-account-girl: Thank you very much for your praise. I don't know if you've noticed, but Destiny _is_ in this story. Moira _became_ Destiny. Was it somehow unclear? I didn't do something wrong, did I?

Random Under the Sun: Thank you for your high praise, as well. As for your desire, don't even worry about it. We'll get to that point. That was in the cards from day one. So now, let's move just a little closer to it…

**How Do You Measure…**

_Chapter 6: Will I Wake Tomorrow?_

As was the case with most well brought up little boys, Charles had been required to study music in his youth. He hadn't stuck with it, but he still remembered enough to teach Pele the basics when she'd insisted she _had_ to learn. It had taken the professor a few weeks to gather all the materials, as all the old lesson books had gotten scattered over the years. He couldn't do much with them, but he felt confident that once he'd gotten her started, Pele would be able to figure it out on her own. Bad attitude or no, she was a very smart girl.

Pele walked around the grand piano several times when Charles showed her into the music room. There were several other old instruments scattered throughout the room, all used by past generations of Xaviers, but the piano held the central position. Charles had been meaning to get a tuner to come look at the thing, but Pele hadn't wanted to wait a minute longer. She wanted to at least know the basics.

Since Pele wasn't yet strong enough or tall enough to lift the piano's lid, Charles lifted it for her as she climbed onto the piano bench, fixing it in the open position so she could see the inner workings of the instrument.

"Try it out," he told her, smiling as she caressed the dusty ivory keys. Then she pressed them down hard and a harsh, discordant sound echoed from within the piano.

Catching the movement of the padded hammers as they struck the strings in order to create the sound, Pele quickly got up on her knees to have a better look. Trying out different keys, Pele watched the interior workings of the old instrument in acute fascination. The notes sounded somewhat sour to Charles, but Pele didn't seem to notice. Every inch of the old piano held wonder for her.

"Do you want to learn?" he asked, sitting down beside her. Pele nodded eagerly. "All right, then. The first thing you need to know is that the notes are arranged in sets of eight…octaves. Each note is named for a letter of the alphabet, A through G. An octave is a full set of notes from one A to the next A up. You also shouldn't worry about the black keys yet. I'm only talking about the white keys. Shall we go through them?"

Pele nodded, placing a finger on the key at the left most end of the keyboard. As she tapped each note, she named it, A through G, repeating, all the way up the keyboard to the highest C.

"Very good."

"What _are_ the black keys for?" she asked, looking up at him.

"Variations in notes. The white keys are whole tones and the black ones are either sharp or flat variations in the sound, but like I said, don't worry about them right now. We'll get more into theory later. Most songs tend to be more in the range of the center of the piano, so the central position for your right hand begins with middle C. Can you guess where that is?" he asked, nodding down at the keyboard.

Counting out the keys to herself, Pele eventually selected the correct key, sounding the note out for her own amusement. Charles nodded. "Yes, that's right. You're getting it."

"What do I do with my left hand?" Pele asked as she laid each finger on the four keys proceeding middle C.

"It depends on the song. For now, I think we'll just worry about your right hand. You ought to master this position before we get into more complex melodies. Would you like to learn a small song for the right hand alone?"

Pele just nodded, waiting anxiously for him to continue.

"Okay. I'm going to play it on the next octave up and I want you to repeat what I do," he said. First he struck the C key three times, then the D and the E. Pele followed suit. Once she'd gotten then hang of that, he moved on, working through three more progressions of notes, repeating each one with her until she had it. Once she could play the whole thing all the way through, Charles sang the lyrics for her.

_Row, row, row your boat_

_Gently down the stream._

_Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,_

_Life is but a dream._

Pele scrunched up her face in consternation at this. "Bit of a strange song."

Charles couldn't help but chuckle to himself at her expression. "It's just one song, Pele. The idea is to start off with something easy before you get into the more difficult things. That's how learning works."

"That's how learning works for _other_ people. I'm ready for more _now_," Pele insisted.

Charles sighed, saddened because he knew how true it was. "Running before we can crawl is it? All right, I suppose I can teach you about note values next."

XxX

_At first, he doesn't understand what he's hearing. It isn't like any crying he's ever heard before. The only thing he can think to compare it to is the wailing of a cat. Then he remembers Charles' words._

_It…it's a baby._

_The moment he realizes this, he finds himself in a burning house. The crying is suddenly hard to hear over the sounds of burning, splintering wood and roaring flame, but it still sounds faintly in his ears. He turns to see a cradle in the far corner of the room…as far from safety as was possible to be. A beam falls from the ceiling above, nearly crushing the small cradle._

"_**Nein!**" he shouts for a reason he can't understand, dashing toward the cradle. He reaches inside, lifting the tiny infant from within. The crying lessens slightly when the little one's cradled protectively against his chest._

_**Protect him. Protect him, Erik. He needs you,** a voice that sounds like Charles echoes in his head._

_Not even thinking about it, Erik darts through the flames, somehow finding a way through while still shielding the baby boy. When he's breathing fresh air again, though, he hardly has a chance to feel relieved. _

"_Gib uns das Kind, Jude," a soldier says, pointing his gun at him. He's facing down a wall of Nazi troops, all armed and ready to fire._

_**Protect him,** he hears the voice again. There's not a moment of hesitation…not an ounce of fear…like there has been before. He **must** protect this child…no matter what the cost. _

_He doesn't even dignify his enemies with a response this time. He has power now. They can do nothing against him._

"_Nie. Sie wird ihm nicht schaden," he says firmly, raising a hand. At his call the guns fall to pieces and the helmets collapse in on themselves, crushing every head. The soldiers drop to the ground, all dead, and Erik smiles down at the little boy, who has fallen asleep in his arms._

_**I won't let anyone harm you.** _

Erik snapped awake with a small gasp. He sat up in bed to find the morning sun shining through the window and Charles already up. He could hear water running in the bathroom.

_Just a dream…_

It had been a good dream, but of course, even his _good_ dreams would tend toward fire, blood, and Nazis. The surprising part, though, was that it was morning. Apparently, he'd actually slept through the night. All this baby business…perhaps Charles' talk was starting to rub off on him. It really was too bad they couldn't do something like that the natural way. Maybe…they could talk about…adopting? Some lonely little mutant child, like they had been. Yes…that would be nice.

Erik had been too lost in his own musings to notice the water had shut off. He didn't realize it until Charles exited the bathroom, towling himself dry on his way to the closet. When the telepath saw him awake, he smiled.

"Good morning, sunshine. Sleep well?"

"Very well, actually."

XxX

Reading was a skill that had easily been reawakened in Artemis' arsenal of human skills. As far as Charles could gather, she had been at roughly a fourth grade reading level in the time when her hidden memory stopped and she was rapidly advancing to the level she should be at. It was why Charles had decided that today would be a good day to show her the library. His study, where they held their therapy sessions, certainly had plenty of books, but they weren't quite right for a young woman just rediscovering the world of literature. He had only just begun to stock up on books for younger children: popular fiction, picture books, textbooks, and the like. If the Xavier library was not already grand, it was soon to become that much grander….and Artemis' expression reflected this when Charles threw the doors open.

Artemis stepped in slowly, her eyes wide with awe as they darted from row to row.

"There are truly…this many books…in all the world?" she whispered as she wandered up and down the rows of bookshelves.

"More even than this," he told her, unable to help smiling at her joy. "You can take newer books out of here, but I do have to ask you to stay in here if you're going to get into some of the older works. In the meantime, I thought you might enjoy this one," he started, going over to one of the shelves and pulling down a decently thick book.

"Bull…finch's…Mythology?" she read slowly once he'd set the book in her hands.

"Exactly. You'll learn more about your namesake, and many more besides. I loved it when I was younger."

"Thank you very much, Professor," she said. Even though she still spoke slowly, she could speak in mostly complete sentences. She was progressing quickly. Charles could hardly wait for the day she was ready for regular schooling. She would be their first real student. Pele would be a student, as well, but Charles could already see that she would be far ahead of the learning curb, especially once her telepathic abilities were restored to her. In some ways, Pele was already his equal in intellect, as evidenced by the fact that she'd already advanced to two-handed pieces on the piano and was starting to eye the violin in the corner. She had advanced past his ability to instruct her, and was learning purely on her own now, pouring through every lesson book he could provide. She just couldn't get enough of it. Artemis, on the other hand, preferred words to music notes, and she was starting to pour through books herself. Perhaps she would also be an accelerated learner…to a degree, anyway.

"You're welcome. You can hold onto that as long as you need to. It's a newer edition, and there are other books on mythology and folklore here if you find you enjoy it. I myself am partial to the Brothers Grimm."

XxX

_All he can see is smoke and fire. He's tripping over rubble as the acrid air fills his nose, mouth, and lungs, drawing fourth deep, hacking coughs as he calls out in the glowing darkness._

"_Luke!" he shouts. "Luke! Where are ya, man?"_

_Nothing…nothing but the sounds of the burning warehouse. He's got to be here somewhere. He's **got** to be! He **can't** have been shot._

"_**Luke!**"_

_That's when he hears the groan. Burning debris falls from the ceiling and he leaps aside. In the brief flare of light, he sees his friend…his legs crushed beneath a support and his left arm badly burnt._

"_A…Alex," he calls out, reaching his one good arm out to him._

_Oh, God…_

"_NOO!_"

Havok was still screaming when he woke from the nightmare. It took him several minutes to realize he was no longer in the warehouse. That was long past. The scent of fire still seemed to linger, though. This, he realized, was because the window of the room had been blown out by his latest plasma blast. Damn it, Charles was going to kill him. Except…this…wasn't his room, was it.

"No…" he whispered in horror, his gaze slowly drifting down from the destroyed wall to the figure lying on the floor before it.

_No, no, no, no, no, no, no,_ his heart repeated over and over again like a broken record. _Please, God, no…don't let this be real._

Artemis lay there, whimpering in pain. From what he could see in the dim glow from the dying fire, her shoulder was burned.

"_Somebody help!_" Havok screamed frantically as he leaped out of the bed, falling to his knees beside Artemis and scooping her gently into his arms, minding her injured shoulder. "Artemis! Artemis, I'm sorry! God, I'm so sorry. Artemis…" he cried brokenly.

"Alex…" she whispered, reaching up to touch his cheek, whining softly in her wolf voice.

_Help! Professor, please help!_ He screamed in his mind, projecting as much as he could.

Charles and Erik were the first to arrive, followed closely by Destiny and Mystique. Beast arrived only moments behind them, and Banshee and Pele came soon after.

Charles didn't ask what had happened. No doubt he had gotten a very clear picture of events from Havok's mind. He knelt before Havok, reaching out to brush the hair from Artemis' sweat-soaked face.

"Artemis? Artemis, can you hear me?"

Artemis nodded weakly, still clinging to Havok.

"Everything's going to be all right. Hank is going to fix you up."

Beast was soon among the small group on the floor, pulling supplies out of an emergency medical kit. "Does it hurt?" he asked her as he checked her pulse. Artemis could only nod, the language she'd regained deserting her in this moment of intense pain.

"That's good," the young scientist reported to the group. "If she can still feel it, it's not worse than second degree."

Slowly, Charles helped Havok to lay Artemis back on the floor in order to make Beast's work easier. The burn on her shoulder was an angry red color, spotted with patches of white. Once Beast had determined that it was the only injury she'd suffered, his first order of business was scraping away the damaged skin. Without any form of painkiller, it was extremely painful, and Artemis couldn't help but scream, clutching Havok's hand in a death grip all the while. He hardly felt it. He just squeezed back to comfort her…numb to everything around him except Artemis in pain.

_**I**__ did this. __**I**__ hurt her. It's just like before. Artemis…_

Once the wound was cleaned, Beast rubbed a sour-smelling ointment all over it before wrapping it tightly in a clean bandage.

"That'll do for now," Beast said. "They both probably ought to stay in the lab tonight. Havok, were you hurt at all?"

Havok wasn't there to answer the question, though. While the bandage was being applied, he'd slipped out of the room, drifting aimlessly down the hall, vaguely thinking to make a run for it. How could he stay here…after this? What if the injury was permanent? It could happen again…he could hurt someone else…hurt _her_ again. He couldn't let that happen.

Before he could even make the stairs, however, he froze in his tracks, unable to move. The next thing he knew, Charles was beside him.

_Let me go, damn it!_ He hissed in his mind, unable even to talk.

"I'm not doing this," Charles explained, the look on his face a study in sadness. "Artemis is."

With that, Beast appeared on his other side, carrying Artemis in his arms. Weakly, she reached her good arm forward to touch his arm.

"When she realized you were gone, she started screaming. She insisted I couldn't let you go. She wants to speak to you," Charles continued to explain, placing his fingers to Havok's temple, and the fingers of the other hand to Artemis' temple, connecting their minds.

_Don't go,_ she begged, her eyes filled with tears. _Don't leave me here. _

_But I hurt you. I'm hurting you **now**. You shouldn't use your power to hold me. You'll sap all your strength. You ought to rest. Just let me go._

_I __**won't!**_ she insisted, squeezing his frozen arm. _I can't let you go like this…not because of me. I can't accept that. If you really don't want to be here anymore, I'll let you go…but I don't believe that. You __**need**__ this place…and I need __**you**__. We still need each other._

_This isn't the worst that can happen, Artemis. If I…let this happen again…I might kill you. I've killed before. If you died…I couldn't bear it,_ he admitted to her. _You __**have**__ to live._

_You **won't** kill me, Alex. I know you._

_Do you, though?_ He questioned bitterly. _You don't know what I've done…what I've been through. _

_Maybe not…but I still **know** you…and I know you can control your power. You just had a bad dream._

_How did you know?_

_A wolf lives by her instincts. I sensed your night terror and woke up. I was trying to wake you when it happened…and I tried to move. I just wasn't quick enough. It could have been a lot worse. I'll know to be quicker in the future._

_There won't __**be**__ a future,_ he insisted harshly. _This isn't going to happen again. I won't __**let**__ it. This ends here._

_Alex…if I can't…convince you to stay…will you at least wait…until I'm better?_ She finally managed to ask.

Havok honestly might have cried if he hadn't been frozen, but he eventually capitulated. _Fine…but we aren't sleeping together anymore. I won't let myself sleep around you anymore._

_Thank you, Alex. Thank you,_ she returned, finally releasing him from her hold. Almost instantly, she passed out cold.

"Artemis? _Artemis?_" Havok shouted desperately.

"She'll be okay," Charles said firmly, resting a hand on the young man's shoulder. "She just made herself tired. She's never done anything like that before."

"You should throw me back in jail," he said bitterly as he watched Beast carry Artemis away. "This is what happens…all the time…everyone gets hurt."

"You shouldn't…give up on yourself. _She_ hasn't given up on you. _She_ believes you can control it. I've _seen_ you control it."

"Maybe I _can_ control it…sometimes. But all it takes is one stupid fuck up…and someone winds up _dead_. I _can't_ let that happen to her."

"_She_ trusts you not to hurt her. That should be enough. Now, I'm fairly certain she'll want you with her tonight. Will you stay with her until she wakes?"

Stopping himself before he could argue, Havok simply nodded, heading down the stairs after Beast. Charles stared after him a long while before Erik found him like that. It took the metal-kine several minutes to coax him back to bed. As they walked, he couldn't help but ask…_Erik…what's happening to us? Is it all going to fall apart?_

_No,_ Erik reassured him, kissing his cheek as they moved. _You won't let it…and neither will I…and we're the strongest two people I know. We'll get through this…__**all**__ of us. With you leading us, we'll make it._

XxX

Havok stayed with Artemis that first night, but after she woke, he took to sleeping in the underground bunker where he'd trained with Charles, not trusting himself around anyone should he happen to fall asleep. The easy friendship that had formed between him and Artemis came to a grinding halt and a thick pall spread over the mansion.

Artemis' room had been closed until they could get the material to rebuild the wall, so the wolf girl had taken to sleeping in Havok's old room, comforted only slightly by the scent of him. She took up the old habit of whining the night away, singing her sad wolf songs. At first, no one was really sure what to do, as it somehow felt wrong to be taking Havok's place. This went on for several nights before Pele finally came to her, silently offering her own brand of comfort, while Artemis waited in dread for the day Beast would pronounce her shoulder fully healed. It was during this sad time that Charles and Beast finally made the breakthrough they'd been striving so hard for.

Charles didn't struggle with the decision to tell Erik for very long. With the tension between Artemis and Havok, it almost felt inappropriate to be so happy, but then he decided the small family needed some good news after everything that had happened. So he opted to tell Erik the very next day.

Erik had no idea what Charles could possibly want when he telepathically summoned him to the lab that morning. His only guess was that it had something to do with the Artemis-Havok situation. He certainly wasn't expecting Charles to come right up to him and embrace him when he arrived.

"Having a good day, are we?" he asked uncertainly as he pulled back.

"You have no idea. Erik…do you remember when we talked about…having children?"

"Yes," the metal-kine said slowly. "Why? You aren't…going to tell me you have another mutation, are you?"

Charles chuckled at this. "No, but I do find it interesting that that's the first place your mind went. You see, Hank and I have been working on a little project these last few weeks. We've been working with samples from you and me-"

"Samples?" Erik interrupted as Charles led him into the lab. "As in…"

"Semen," Charles responded succinctly. "Honestly, Erik, it's not like it's all that hard to come by."

"Well…what have you been doing with these _samples_?"

"I wanted to see…if it was somehow possible…to combine our genetic material…to create…life."

"You mean…like a baby," Erik said calmly, seeing where this was heading.

"That's exactly what I mean. For the longest time, we couldn't figure out a solution. The combination of egg and sperm is essential to the reproductive process…but then I thought…what might a tele-kine be able to do with this?"

"Artemis."

"Just so. If she were able to take an egg, extract the genetic material from it, and transplant it with…say…my own…we could easily make something like this work.

"What do you think?" he asked after several minutes of stunned silence.

"You've…put a lot of thought into this…haven't you?" Erik managed to ask after a time.

"Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, gently running a thumb along his cheekbone.

"I didn't…want to get your hopes up…incase I failed," Charles said, not quite looking at him. "And…technically, I _did_ ask for your permission."

Erik couldn't help snickering softly at this. "Technically true. I suppose I can respect that. Where would this egg be coming from?"

"Destiny," Charles explained, starting to sound hopeful. "She knew before I even asked her, of course. The eggs were harvested last week, per her instruction."

"And Artemis? Does she have any idea what to do?" he continued in a practical manner.

"She doesn't," Charles admitted. "I _would_ have to control her in order for this to work, but she's already consented to it. She wants to help us."

"You're awfully confident, aren't you…that I'll say yes?" Erik said, briefly glancing away from his lover.

"Won't you?" Charles nearly whispered, his expression carefully neutral.

"I told you…I'd never even _thought_ about anything like this before. But then…you started talking and I started thinking…and I thought…since it's you…maybe it would be nice," Erik said, turning back to Charles and taking his face in his hands.

"So you want to do it?" Charles asked, his voice breaking slightly.

"Yes," Erik whispered, claiming the telepath's dry lips with his own, moistening them with his kiss. The tender embrace was soon interrupted, however, by a few awkward coughs. Erik looked up to see Beast, Destiny, and Artemis all gathered in the doorway.

"Knock much?" he asked, slowly releasing Charles from his arms.

"Don't blame them, Erik. I was excited; I called for them."

Erik rolled his eyes, a wry grin taking up residence on his face. "Well, if we're going to do this, we'd better get to it."

The most awkward part of the whole process was actually harvesting the necessary specimens. The least mortifying solution Charles could come up with was for them to just lock themselves in the bathroom and…get each other off. Not that it didn't feel good…but that didn't make the whole business any less awkward.

"Don't worry…we'll do the real thing later," Charles reassured Erik, hastily pulling himself together so he could get the specimens to Artemis.

Taking control of the tele-kine's mind was yet another strange, new experience. Rarely had he sunk himself so deeply in another individual's conscience, using her body and power as extensions of his own. Artemis' power ran much deeper than even she had realized. Freezing Havok was only the beginning. As Charles had suspected, with her power, he could reach down to the atomic level, manipulating the specimens as he needed to. Once the genetic transplant had taken place, the altered egg was placed in a culture vial along with Erik's semen.

"What happens now?" Erik asked, staring at the small vial that would, hopefully, soon contain their future child.

"We wait," Beast answered. "At least twenty-four hours for fertilization to take place."

"And then?" Erik pressed.

"Still another twenty-four hours to be certain that cell division is proceeding as it should," Beast explained. "We don't want to inject the blastocyst into Destiny's uterus until we're certain it's working. Though…Erik…Charles…you _do_ understand that this has never worked before, right? Doctors have tried…but human medical science just hasn't advanced this far yet."

"We understand," Charles said quietly, taking Erik's hand in his as the two of them watched the vial together. "We know…it might not work."

"What was that you said about _human_ medical science?" Erik fired back, smirking again as he gently massaged the hand that held his. "We aren't humans, are we."

It was a trying forty-eight hours, to be sure, and everyone was doubly relieved that by the end of it, Beast examined the vial and announced, "We have mitosis!"

XxX

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Colonel William Stryker Jr. asked his father, CIA Agent William Stryker Sr.

"No. Unfortunately, it's the best lead I've had. No one else knows a damn thing about Xavier and his band of freaks."

A man who called himself only Mastermind had contacted him, saying he had information concerning the whereabouts of Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr. They had agreed to meet about a mile from the CIA building, alone and unarmed, but Stryker Sr. wasn't exactly a trusting sort. Stryker Jr. was only a little better, being a colonel about to take charge of his first black ops unit. They'd been about to ship out for Vietnam, but his father had requested his unit especially for his vendetta against Xavier and Lehnsherr.

The only lights to be seen were the headlights of Stryker Sr.'s car. It was getting to be very late and both men were starting to wonder if their contact was going to show.

"Is putting these mutants down really as important as all that?" the younger Stryker asked, watching his father pace anxiously.

"Absolutely. You've _seen_ the Cuba reports," the elder insisted.

"Yes, but it seems to me these guys would make good soldiers…good weapons. Why couldn't we use them to our advantage? Seems to me like it's a largely untapped resource. No one else is doing it."

"Because they're _too_ dangerous. These freaks could destroy everything humanity stands for."

"Humanity? Heh, humanity doesn't stand for anything, Dad…not as a whole. All people really know is how to fight each other. You ought to know that."

"This is _different_," the older man started to say when two figures suddenly appeared in the glow of the headlights. Stryker Jr. automatically placed a hand on his concealed pistol.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, Agent Stryker. I thought we had an understanding," a man's voice said, emanating from the taller of the two figures. They were both dressed in long, black, leather coats.

"You didn't abide by it either," the agent pointed out. "Who's your friend?"

"My compatriot. You may call her Selene," the man introduced as the shorter figure lowered the hood of her jacket, revealing a head of thick, wavy, black hair. Her skin was lightly tanned and her face was full and beautiful, but at the center of all this was the unmistakable glint of ice in her brown eyes. Selene was undoubtedly a hard woman.

"_You_ got a name?" Stryker Jr. asked the man. "Apart from _Mastermind_, I mean."

"My name, gentlemen, is Jason. That's all you really need to know," he said, sweeping back his own hood to reveal a sharp, angular face and short, jet-black hair. A meticulously trimmed moustache adorned his face and his eyes were a deep shade of blue that conveyed a quiet sense of amusement both Strykers immediately disliked. The younger _did_ find he liked the name, though; so, against his better judgment, he logged it away for potential future use, as his wife was due to have a baby in a few months' time.

"What would you say," Jason continued almost immediately, "if I handed you Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr?"

"I'd say what's in it for you," the CIA man replied instantly.

"I'd ask where your information comes from," young Stryker shot back.

"All in good time, Colonel. What you _should_ know up front is that it will take a lot more than just a location in order to infiltrate the place you're looking for. Are you ready for that?"

"I'm ready for anything," the old man replied fiercely.

"Good," Jason said, an eerie smile taking up residence on his face. "In that case, I think we can do business."

XxX

(A/N) Still doin' it for ya? Definitely have a few notes for this chapter.

**Translations:** Gib uns das Kind, Jude = Give us the child, Jew. Nie. Sie wird ihm nicht schaden = Never. You won't harm him. (Maybe, anyway. This was, at least, my intention.)

**In Vitro:** Is it a bit odd in this scenario? Yeah, but I wanted to explore how this might work if neither of them had a convenient secondary mutation. (After all, this is what fan fiction is for, ne? Exploring possibilities?) Is in vitro fertilization a thousand times more complicated than I've portrayed here? Damn straight, it is. It wasn't even successfully implemented until 1978. But this is Hank and Charles we're talking about here. They could so do anything they set their minds to as far as genetics go.

**Mastermind and Selene:** Be forewarned, I know nothing about these characters except what my wikipedia research has been able to turn up, so…we'll just see what happens. These characters were requested, so I thought I'd try and use them. Got several ideas already, but first we'll see if I can even write them. If anyone happens to know, do tell me how I'm doing.

See you in the next chapter.


	7. Will Someone Care

(A/N) Thanks once again for the reviews. Happy New Year to all.

**How Do You Measure…**

_Chapter 7: Will Someone Care?_

As any good scientist would, Beast opted to wait several days after the announcement of mitosis to implant what would one day be a fetus, wanting to be a little more certain of its stability before proceeding. Charles, while certainly a good scientist, found himself suddenly in the role of concerned father-to-be, and was just as anxious as the others for the small cluster of dividing cells to be implanted. When Beast finally took this step, it was yet another anxious wait of about a week to be certain that the blastocyst had taken root in Destiny's womb. Pregnancy was officially confirmed on March 5th.

Telling the others hadn't been a big deal. Mystique already knew, of course. Along with Destiny, she had known before all of them, which miffed both fathers a bit, but this was soon forgotten. Banshee was exuberant. Pele pretended to be indifferent, but was obviously concealing her interest. Havok just cracked a small smirk and said, "Somehow, I'm not surprised."

Most mothers-to-be had monthly check-ups; Destiny had to have them almost daily, as the process was so very experimental. There was constant need to check that the embryo was developing normally, which it seemed to be, for the moment. Mystique, Artemis, and Banshee tended to be present for the ultrasounds, even though there wasn't much to see yet. Pele would occasionally peek her head in to see, trying to be inconspicuous, even though Charles knew she knew he could sense her mind. As such, he respected her desire to remain incognito.

"When will we know what the baby is?" Erik asked one day when they were nearing the one-month mark. "What…gender…I mean."

"Not for several months," Beast answered as he ran the wand over Destiny's still flat stomach. "And even then, we'd only be guessing based on these grainy images. We won't know for certain until it's born…and it seems to be doing fine today."

"Could you…not call this kid an 'it'?" Erik requested, looking slightly sour at the word.

"Well…what am I _supposed_ to do?" Beast asked, glancing helplessly at Charles. "Medically speaking, what we have here is hardly even a proper fetus yet."

"And maybe this is _our baby_ and you need to show a little respect," Erik suggested, the faintest edge of a snarl in his voice. He had no love for the word 'it.'

"Erik, be fair. We don't really _know_ yet," Charles pointed out, trying to be reasonable, even though he agreed with his lover to a certain degree.

"We could just ask Destiny," Banshee suggested before further arguing could break out.

"That's true," Charles said, seeking Destiny's gaze with new interest.

"I don't know…" she said quietly.

"Come on," Erik pressed. "Is the fate of the world _really_ going to change if we know whether this child's a boy or a girl?"

"Come on, Destiny," Charles urged, his eyes bright with anticipation. "He or she?"

Destiny thought for several more minutes before finally closing her eyes and answering, "She" with a very tiny smile.

"She," Charles repeated, his smile lighting up his entire face as he leaned his head against Erik's shoulder. "Erik…we're going to have a daughter."

"Ja," Erik murmured, wrapping an arm around Charles' shoulders and gently kissing the top of his head. "Es ist wunderbar."

XxX

People knew not to disturb Pele when she was in the music room. It wasn't that she got angry when interrupted; it was more that you _couldn't_ interrupt her. She just wouldn't acknowledge you were alive if she was working at the piano or the violin or tinkering with the oboe. In those moments, the instruments were the only things that lived for her.

As such, it was a sight to behold when Artemis walked into the music room, drawn by the sound of Pele's latest piano piece.

Artemis had just come from a check-up with Beast. His medical know-how had worked wonders and the new skin on her shoulder was already starting to show through the scabbing. It was all looking up…but Artemis couldn't have been sadder. He'd told her the new skin needed the opportunity to breathe, but she'd insisted he allow her to keep wearing a bandage. If Havok saw her without it, he would take it as his queue to leave, and she couldn't let that happen.

As she'd been walking, she'd heard Pele playing, and couldn't help but follow the music. It was such a strange little melody…caught somewhere between sinister and seductive. It was a song unlike anything she'd ever heard or sung as a wolf, and she found the music called to her…called to the part of her that was still concealed in shadows…and, almost without her knowledge, her body answered.

At first, she was just swaying, but before too long, she was swirling around the room, like a little girl dancing to the music.

Pele didn't notice her at first, but when she happened to catch sight of her dancing figure, she was hard-pressed to continue playing…to keep up the flow of music for her. The seven-year-old was so thrown by the expression of pure emotion, she really had no idea how to react to it. All she could do was keep playing…keep playing until she reached the end.

When the last notes sounded from the piano, Artemis' dance came to an end. She came to rest breathing hard and staring at the far corner of the room…as if she could almost see something there.

After a time, she turned slowly back to Pele, who had never ceased to stare at her. A bittersweet smile made its way onto her face as they stared at each other.

"I think, maybe…my mother…used to play piano. I hear the music…and my body remembers the dance."

For once, Pele didn't feel the need to fall back on the old crutch of mocking something she didn't understand. She continued to stare at the older girl for another moment before dropping her gaze to her hands.

"I'm very sorry," she said quietly, meaning it. "I don't know what I should do or feel right now."

Artemis' smile brightened a little as she came to sit beside Pele on the piano bench. "You have made me happy…made me remember a good thing. If that makes _you_ happy at all…you could try smiling."

Pele didn't quite manage it. Her lips twisted in an odd sort of way and her eyes brightened just a little, which caused Artemis' own smile to burst into full bloom. Her body shaking from repressed giggles, Artemis quickly enfolded the little girl in a tight hug before she had the chance to think she was laughing at her.

"You will get it right someday…Iolana."

Artemis didn't see it, but Pele really did smile at this. For a moment, she looked shocked, but then the expression shifted into something warm…a smile. Pele sighed quietly as she settled firmly into the embrace. Neither of them was going anywhere anytime soon.

XxX

When next Artemis, Pele, Erik, and Charles gathered in his study for a session, Pele had a request of her own.

"I want…to look at the time before Shaw came," she made herself say, not quite looking at any of them. "I can't…really remember it on my own."

"All right. If that's what you want," Charles said, waiting for everyone's minds to calm before he latched onto Pele's thoughts, connecting the four of them together in her early memories.

These memories were not as well defined as later ones. They had gone back to before she'd even awakened as a telepath. They were full of sunlight and warmth…her father's laughter…riding places on his back. It was a small, closed world, but it was a happy one…until the day little Iolana realized something. All of the other kids had mothers. Why didn't she? She loved her father very much, but why _didn't_ she have a mother? Papa wouldn't tell her…and one day…when she was feeling particularly jealous of one of her friends…and she desperately wanted to know what a mother's love felt like…her mind simply…exploded outward.

Lili and her mother…every thought in their heads was suddenly hers. She found the love she'd been looking for…but she was nearly lost in the crush of _everything_ _else_. At the age of two, Iolana was one with the world and she couldn't understand any of it. She'd gone home sick and crying that day.

As Charles and Erik well knew, many other single fathers might have turned from little Iolana then and there…but Keoni had not. He had stuck with his baby girl. He had read everything he could get his hands on having to do with psychics and telepathy, everything from the semi-scientific to the purely fantastic…anything he could do to help her…not to get rid of the ability, but to help her live with it and control it. He helped her learn to shield herself from the world…and when her power became too overwhelming, he held her close…even though he couldn't keep her from seeing his own thoughts.

Through his memories, Iolana came to know her mother…Kalani…_the heavens_…the woman who had died giving birth to her. She could see what a wonderful woman she'd been…and how much her father missed her. She was blessed in being the only child ever whose mother had died giving her life, but who still had the chance to know her…but it was also through this that she learned of guilt. Her father never blamed her and she knew this for a fact…but she blamed herself for his sadness…and for the life that had been lost.

Red eyes hadn't helped in a community of brown…and children being the cruel, selfish creatures they can be…eventually began to pick up on how strange Iolana was…and she suffered for it; so, inevitably, her ability to burn had manifested. Even this Keoni had bourn with patience and love. She simply had to learn control…he knew.

"_Fly high, my little eagle."_

It was a quiet, simple life, and they might have gone on living in peace…had Shaw and Frost not discovered her existence.

_They came in the night. Papa was just putting her to bed when the knock on the door came. He told her to stay. Of course she didn't._

_She first saw him from the end of the hallway. Before he even spoke, she feared him. For some reason…she couldn't read his mind. Something was stopping her._

"_Can I help you?" Papa asked, his voice already sounding suspicious._

"_I believe you can," he said, stepping over the threshold. "You see, sir…I hear you have a daughter."_

"_Maybe I'm wrong, but…I think that's none of your business."_

"_It could be," Shaw said with certainty as he pushed further in._

"_It really couldn't," Papa growled._

"_**Run, Papa! Run!**" she screamed, catching a brief glimpse of Shaw's intentions through whatever it was that was blocking her. Just as he turned to look at her, something harsh and hard wrapped around her mind, shutting it down._

"_**Iolana!**"_

"Stop," Pele whispered. "That's enough."

Once again, real time returned to find Pele crying quietly. "Stupid man," she said, swiping angrily at the salty tracks on her face. "He didn't have to die. After my mother died…he would have done better to just leave me in a gutter somewhere."

"He would never," Artemis insisted as she came to kneel next to Pele. "He loved you very much…and you know that."

"He was foolish," the little girl kept saying, shaking her head. "He was _asking_ for trouble…keeping me around."

"You do not believe that…not really," Artemis said calmly, pulling Pele into her arms. The child clung tightly to her, burying her face in the teenager's shoulder as great, heaving sobs wracked her body.

"Papa!" she cried over and over again, helpless in the grip of her unspent grief. "_Papa!_"

_Why won't it stop?_ She asked Charles privately, knowing he would hear the thought. _I thought I'd gotten rid of it a long time ago…but then __**you**__ woke these memories…and now this pain won't stop. Why?_

The jab had its intended effect. Charles felt the stab of guilt for reminding her of her past…but the rational part of him also knew that she only spoke out of hurt. She knew as well as he did that she had to face the things that had made her Pele, both the bad…and the good that had been lost as a result of it. But even if she knew this…deep down…pain was not a thing so easily defeated. Charles came and knelt beside them, enfolding the two girls into his own arms.

_Grief isn't something you get over in a single day. It's a slow process. You haven't allowed yourself to grieve for your parents. If you want it to stop, you have to let it flow. You can't hold it back anymore. Your grief has to run its course. Just let it out,_ he soothed her.

She did. She cried until there were no tears left in her, until her face was impossibly red and swollen from crying…and as she continued to let it out, even Erik hesitantly joined their group hug.

"Papa," Pele sniffled after a time, cuddled safely in the embrace of the three. "I…I _miss_ you."

XxX

All of the snow had melted by the time Artemis took her bandages off. It was early on an April morning when she went down to the bunker, where Havok was still sleeping…and he was in fact still sleeping when she got down there. It didn't take her long to shake him awake, though.

"Enough," she said calmly as he looked up at her. "_Enough_."

Of course, the first thing he noticed was her newly bared shoulder, the new skin looking somewhat patchy and jagged against the lines of the old. Slowly, he sat up.

"What are you doing down here?"

"I came to talk to you. We cannot let this go on anymore."

"Then I should go."

"No," Artemis said firmly. "I am _not_ letting you leave."

Suddenly angered by her stubbornness, Havok reached out and seized her shoulder. She winced slightly at the rough treatment of the new skin and it _almost_ made him back off, but he didn't. He had a point to make and he'd be damned if he didn't make her listen this time.

"Do you think this is the worst that can happen to you, Artemis? _Do you?_ Don't you know I can kill you with one blow?"

"Do you know I can crush your heart with one squeeze?" she reminded him. "We all have dangerous powers. We are all so close to dying where we stand everyday…if not for the control we learn."

"Your telekinesis probably isn't going to hurt someone if it just goes off, though. My power _always_ hurts. Something's _always_ destroyed because of it. I can't change that."

"I do not believe that," Artemis said, rising from his cot and using her power to seal the bunker. Then she moved to the far end and turned to face him. "I am going to show you something, Alex. I want you to fire at me."

Havok was both angered and frightened by the request. Tossing his blanket aside and getting to his feet, he angrily stared her down, not wanting her to see how much her request had bothered him. "You really are crazy, aren't you. Do you have a death wish or something…because that _is_ what's going to happen if I just fire right at you."

At that moment, Havok felt himself freeze again…and he felt his body begin to tingle with the sensation that let him know he was about to generate a blast.

"What- what are you doing?" he demanded, beginning to panic, desperately fighting against her power.

"I can _make_ you do it, you know? The professor has been showing me what my power is really capable of. I can influence matter at the atomic level. The professor influences people's minds, but I can influence their bodies. I can _make_ you throw that blast at me if I want."

"Please…don't…don't do this…don't make me…_Artemis_!" he begged her. When Artemis saw the terror in his eyes, she immediately released him and he let the energy in his body dissipate before it could come into focus.

"Please, Alex. I _need_ you to do this for me. You _have_ to see this," she pleaded.

"What if your idea doesn't work?" he asked, his voice thick with bitterness. "Are you going to make me live with killing you?"

"If my idea does not work, I will move. I told you before…I am very quick on my feet."

"Artemis-"

"It _will_ work. I _know_ it will. _Please_."

"Don't ask-"

"If you do not…I will make you," she promised him, her expression sad, but firm.

"_Fine!_" he hissed angrily, his eyes red with tears he refused to shed. He gathered the energy in his body once again, bringing it to bear at his core, and firing the blast directly at his friend.

When the ring of energy was only mere feet from her, Artemis' hands shot into the air. For a moment, she seemed to struggle, but then the energy ring halted in midair, held in place by Artemis' power. Havok watched in shocked awe as the wolf girl slowly forced the plasma into a ball, then slowly forced it to dissipate into the air. Once it was gone, she dropped to her knees, and Havok instantly bolted over to her, gathering her shaking body in his arms.

"Did…did you really just _do_ that?"

"Your plasma blasts are matter, aren't they? Therefore, I can control them…just like I can control any other matter. It just…takes a lot of focus…and energy," she explained, her voice exhausted as she rested her head against his shoulder.

"Crazy fuckin' kid," he growled, holding her tightly against him so she couldn't see the few tears he couldn't keep from shedding.

"Do you see now, Alex? You _cannot_ hurt me…not unless you really mean to. I'm just as strong as you are."

Havok chuckled bitterly at this. "Maybe so…but I don't know if you'd still want to be friends with me…if you really knew me."

"So tell me," Artemis said calmly, reaching up to brush her fingers against his cheek. "Tell me who you are…and let _me_ be the judge."

Havok sighed, picking the slight girl up and carrying her back to his cot. "If you're really sure you want to know…"

"I've _always_ wanted to know you, Alex."

Havok shuddered slightly, wondering if she understood the other implications of that statement; but, thinking she probably didn't, he decided to let it go.

"Well…I was born over in New Jersey. Had both parents and a little sister growin' up…Haley. Didn't have a lot of cash, though, so I wound up in a gang pretty early on, runnin' odd jobs for 'em, makin' some extra money for my folks. My power manifested when I was fifteen. When a friend of mine and I were in a pretty nasty scrape with these two other guys."

"Luke?" Artemis asked.

Havok threw her a look that clearly asked how she knew that.

"You were mumbling that name…that night," she explained quietly. Havok accepted this and quickly moved on.

"Yeah, it was him. I scared the two guys off that night…but Luke didn't run. He actually thought it was pretty cool. We started makin' a name for ourselves on the streets…but one of the other gang leaders didn't like it…Nathan Essex. Luke didn't really have any family, so…in order to get us to cooperate…he kidnapped Haley."

"Oh," Artemis murmured, resting a hand on his knee in sympathy. "What happened?"

"They held her in the old warehouse district. We were supposed to give ourselves up without a fight…and they'd let her go, but he…I don't know…maybe he wanted to teach me a lesson or somethin', cuz he told one of 'em to fire on her. I…I lost it. I torched the place…but Essex knew about my mutation. The warehouse was rigged to blow."

"What happened…to Haley and Luke?" Artemis asked after several minutes of painful silence.

"I got Haley out okay. Somethin' in the explosion knocked her out, but she was thrown clear of the worst of it. I carried her out…and I went back for Luke. Most of Essex's guys were already dead. I found Luke, but…he was crushed…and burned. I carried him out, too…but he died in the hospital a few hours later," he finished, unable to look at Artemis.

"Oh…oh, Alex," she whispered, wrapping her arms around him. He didn't cry or anything like that. Of course, he didn't…but he did rest his head against her shoulder, accepting the comfort she offered in his own way. They remained like that for a long while…just holding each other. After a time, Artemis finally asked him, "What happened to Essex?"

"I don't know. I didn't see his body that night…and he never made an appearance for the court case. Maybe he's dead…maybe not. I really don't know."

"Court case?"

"I was tried for arson and manslaughter. No one could back up _my_ version of what happened, but some of Essex's boys made it out to testify against me. I was only seventeen when it happened, but I was just a month away from my eighteenth birthday. They tried me as an adult and put me away."

"But you did not…contest it…did you?" she asked slowly, hearing that truth in the way he spoke the words.

"No. I chose exile…just like you."

"But I do not…_know_ why I chose that…why I ran away. Perhaps…I killed someone, too?" she speculated calmly.

"I don't believe that," Havok said, raising her chin so he could look her in the eyes again. "I don't think you could kill anyone. I think someone was trying to hurt _you_."

"Maybe the me you know now could not kill anyone in cold blood…but we do not know who I was…before I was Artemis…and I think I am ready to know now."

"What do you mean?"

"Alex…you have…shared yourself with me. I want to do the same for you, but…for this…we need the professor's help."

"You mean…you want me to join one of your group therapy sessions," he said. Artemis nodded.

"I think that is the only way to get past this barrier my mind has created. Would you…be all right with this?"

"Yeah," he said, remembering all of his fears for her, but at once thinking, for the first time, that they really might be able to help each other. She had seen the worst of him…and she still hadn't turned away. Maybe he could do the same for her? "I'm ready. I'll be there for you."

XxX

"So how are the Strykers taking to your information?" Shaw asked Wyngarde as he poured him a drink. He and his inner associates had sailed the _Maharani_ to the Virginia coast in order to meet with Wyngarde and Selene. He and his personal circle worked the States, the Soviet Union, and the rest of Europe, but Wyngarde and Selene mostly worked the Hell Fire Club's operations in South America and Africa. They, however, had been the perfect two for Shaw's new plans, so they'd agreed to divert their own projects to others for a time in order to work Shaw's new angle.

"Bill Stryker's like a dog on a leash. He's snarling to get at Xavier and his companions," Wyngarde replied with a chuckle. "He has absolutely no head for strategy. It's a good thing we've got William the Younger or your brilliant plan would never work. He's actually bothering to plan the assault on the mansion. Unfortunately, he can't get much intel on the place, since putting anyone close enough would put them neatly inside Xavier's considerable range, and that would be the end of them," he finished with a teasing grin.

"I take it you've got a solution to this problem," Emma said, her tone living up to her surname.

"Yes, I do, my dear Emma. Really, only you or I could get close enough to gather the intelligence we need on the layout without alerting Xavier to our presence, so I suppose it's going to have to be me, as he's already so…_familiar_ with your mind."

"So what are you going to do?" Emma asked, getting more inwardly frustrated with the illusionist by the minute.

"Don't you worry your pretty little head over it. I have plans for our friends in Westchester," he said, raising the glass Shaw had given him. "A toast, friends, to our compatriots in New York. They will need our good thoughts after what I'm about to put them through."

XxX

A/N: Wow, the villain presence in this story has been kinda minimal so far. I'm gonna have to do something about that.

If you want to know what song Pele was playing, check out this page.

http:/ www. youtube. com/ watch?v= pUODRGGkqt0

At least, a piano cover version of this song. It's called Ruthless, and obviously it didn't exist back in the sixties, but I'm a big fan of Kajiura-sensei's work, and I feel like the music just suits Pele really well.

Til next we meet, gentle readers…adieu.


	8. From This Nightmare

(A/N) As always, thank you for your reviews. And now…let's get back to the angsting that is my specialty.

**How Do You Measure…**

_Chapter 8: From this Nightmare_

Now that April had arrived, Charles decided it was okay to start breaking ground for their new projects; and now that she and Havok were on speaking terms again, Artemis was eager to test out her abilities on Charles' ideas and Beast's designs. Once the excavation site had been marked out, it took her no more than a day to move the required amount of earth…even though Charles kept insisting she take breaks and she'd worn herself to a near critical level of exhaustion by the end of that one day. It was something of a personal challenge for her, and she'd proudly met it before collapsing thankfully at the bottom of her newly-made pit. Havok had had a good snarl at all of them before carrying her back inside to rest for the next week.

The next part of the construction project was mostly in Erik's hands. While Charles had thought he could use Artemis' help for it, she was still out of commission, and Erik really didn't need her help, anyway. His was mostly precision work, where Artemis' had been heavy lifting. Per Beast's design, he simply lifted and shaped sheets of metal into a sphere inside of Artemis' large pit. Also following the young scientist's instructions, he was able to set up the installation's inner circuitry and wiring. With the installation built, all that really remained was for Beast and Charles to set up the interface with a little construction help from Erik. Unfortunately, though, they couldn't properly conceal the new Cerebro until Artemis was back on her feet…at which time, she properly adhered to Charles schedule of breaks. While it had taken only about a week to complete the machine, it also didn't quite have Beast's seal of approval for testing: partly because he was still making adjustments to the interface and partly because Erik was essentially muscling him into refusing Charles' requests to test it until he was absolutely certain it was ready…which was impossible without actually testing it, but Beast really couldn't bring himself to tell Erik that. The man was a bloody brick wall when it came to two things: Charles…and their baby.

Destiny was somewhat irked by the fact that the two men wouldn't allow her to help in any of the construction, but unfortunately, their iron will was also backed by Mystique's worry for her personally and Beast's insistence as a doctor. Besides, it wasn't like she hadn't been expecting it. Other mothers got to complain that this amount of protectiveness was excessive; not her, not with the delicate balance she knew her body was maintaining. Aside from constantly checking the health of the embryo, Beast also had to look out for _her_ safety, and make sure her body wasn't rejecting the barely begun life. She knew it wouldn't, of course, but she also had to let events proceed as they normally would. So she fumed in silence while the mansion and the estate grew and changed around her. Cerebro was only the beginning, after all.

XxX

It was about mid-April when Charles told Erik they were going to make time for the session Artemis had asked for…and it was the night before that session that Mystique caught him on his way out of the kitchen after the dinner clean up.

"Would you come with me, Erik? I need to talk to you."

Erik certainly wouldn't admit to it, but his heart dropped straight into his stomach at the tone in her voice.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong…not yet, anyway," she said, glancing slightly away from him. "Just…you have to hear this."

"Just a minute," he said, remaining firmly in place when she tried to pull him into following her. "Why do _I_ need to hear this? What are you going to tell me that you aren't going to tell Charles?"

"He'll remember on his own soon enough, but…with the session with Artemis coming up…you have to hear this _now_."

Erik didn't protest anymore. He allowed Mystique to lead him to her room, where Destiny was waiting for them. Whatever they had to say to him clearly involved Charles.

"What's this about?" he asked, snapping more than he meant to as his fear over what was coming grew. What could a precog need to tell him that Charles couldn't overhear?

"Erik…did you ever wonder why Charles got into bed with you so easily?" Mystique asked after several minutes had passed.

"How do you know about that?" the metal-kine demanded quietly.

Mystique's only answer was a nod in Destiny's direction. "We haven't been spying on you, but you should know that Destiny can't help but know most of these things. Now…answer the question."

"Not…not really. I just thought…as open as he is about everything else…perhaps that was a similar situation."

Mystique shook her head. "No. The reason he accepted it so easily…was that he'd already come to terms with it once before. He just doesn't remember it."

"What are you talking about?" Erik asked, the sinking sensation in his stomach telling him that he somehow already suspected…given that this conversation was happening because of what was to occur with Artemis tomorrow.

"Maybe…coming to terms with yourself as a mutant…helps in coming to terms with yourself as…swinging both ways…but none of that's easy in high school. Kids can be such little shits sometimes," she said bitterly.

"Mystique, what, _exactly_, are you trying to tell me?"

"I'm trying to tell you that you aren't Charles' first boyfriend. His first was a boy named James back when he was fifteen…but he doesn't remember him."

"Why the hell not?" he continued to press, hating the utterly tortured look on the shape shifter's face.

"Erik, _please_…this isn't easy for me, either. I didn't think I would ever have to tell _anyone_ about this. You…you might want to sit down for this."

"I'd rather stand," he said firmly. "Tell me what happened."

"Well…as you know, Charles is a mad genius. He was done with high school at the age of sixteen and ready to head off to Oxford. He and James had only been dating a few months at the time and not a lot of people knew about it…but they'd been pining for each other for months before that…coming to terms with what they felt. They really did…care for each other. I think Charles might have even been considering…telling him about his powers."

"Then…what happened?" he asked, not even admitting the tiny flicker of jealousy to _himself_.

"Kurt Marko and Charles' mother died in a car crash not long after Charles' graduation. Kurt was drunk and, well…I think you understand. I'm not ashamed to admit that none of us were really in mourning. Except for Charles and I, we weren't really a close family. The thing was…Charles' mother had left nearly the entire Xavier estate to him in her will. Hardly anything was left to Cain and, as you can imagine, he didn't really like that. He was nineteen at the time, old enough to be on his own, but he hadn't even been named legal guardian. To this day I wonder if maybe Charles didn't have something to do with that."

"What did Cain do?" Erik asked, feeling that this was heading in that direction…especially after the memories Charles had shared with him of his less than beloved stepbrother.

"He came back to the mansion one night to confront Charles and…he found them together…Charles and James."

"Mein Gott," Erik whispered, unable to help invoking a power he didn't really believe in.

"I didn't realize what was happening until I heard Charles cry out. I ran to his room and…James was trying to stand between Cain and Charles…and he was just about pounding him to a pulp. Not only was his stepbrother a freak, smarter than him, and about to inherit their parents' fortune…in Cain's eyes…he was also a fag…and he just couldn't _stand_ that. Cain lost it…completely lost it."

"What happened?" Erik asked, his voice catching slightly, almost feeling as if he could see it happening.

"Charles begged Cain to hurt him instead…to leave James alone. So he did. He locked both me and James in the closet and said if we told anyone what happened, he would…he would kill Charles," Mystique explained, her yellow eyes moist with years of pent up horror. "What could I do? There was no one around who could help…and James was hurting pretty bad. What I…what I heard next, I…Erik…"

"What did he do?" Erik whispered, dreading the answer, but needing to know, just the same.

"He…Cain…Cain raped him. He _raped Charles_," she said. She had never spoken these words out loud until now, and until this moment she had almost been able to deny them in her own way…all these years. "Those sounds…the things he _said_…and Charles, he…I'd never heard him scream before…he hurt him so much…he might've _died_ that night."

"That…_bastard_," Erik growled, his entire body shaking with rage…that someone would _dare_ to lay hands on Charles. It didn't matter what the telepath said now. He was going to track this Cain Marko down and _kill_ him. "Where is he now?"

"As far as I know…Cain's still locked up in an insane asylum somewhere."

"Wait…what? When did that happen?"

"What Cain did to Charles…that wasn't the end of what happened that night. I don't know what he could have possibly said or done to trigger it, after everything he'd _already_ done, but…something inside my brother _snapped_ that night…and the persona we know as Onslaught was born."

"It…it was Cain?" Erik whispered in shock.

"Yes…and Onslaught turned all that raw psychic energy on him in the moment of his awakening. His mind…burned. Onslaught burned it away…and he ran out of the mansion screaming. Then…when he came to open the door…God, Erik, I…I was actually _afraid_ of him. His…his _eyes_…"

Erik simply nodded in understanding at this. She didn't need to explain further. He had gazed into those blazing blue eyes himself.

"For a moment, I really thought I was going to die…but then he just sort of…blinked…and that light went out…and he was himself again for a few minutes…before he collapsed."

"And Charles…doesn't remember any of this?" Erik asked slowly.

Again, Mystique shook her head. "I called the paramedics…and they took both Charles and James to the hospital. James came to pretty fast…but when he did, he didn't remember any of what happened. He didn't remember Charles and he had been dating…barely even remembered Charles at all. My only guess is that…somewhere in the middle of it all…Charles modified his memory…to spare him the pain of what happened…to protect him. I don't know."

Erik sighed, his shoulders slumping in misery to think of it. Of course that was what had happened. It was so like Charles to do such a thing…to give up one of the few happinesses he had in order to protect it from harm. "And…Charles?"

"He was in intensive care for about a week, and when he came to…he couldn't remember anything either. Not Onslaught, not Cain, not his relationship with James…none of it. It was all gone…and the only thing I can think…is that he erased his own memory in order to protect himself from the horror of it. He couldn't bear to remember what he'd done to Cain…or what Cain had done to him…what he'd lost…and I couldn't…tell him. I _couldn't _do it. Instead I…had the doctors tell him he'd survived the crash that had killed his parents. Cain wasn't going to be a problem anymore; he was already locked up. I thought…Charles and I could just run away to Oxford and leave everything behind us…like we were going to do…and I did run from it. For eight years, I ran from it…until Destiny showed me a few pages from her books of prophecy…that said he would remember."

Erik shook his head, shocked by everything he'd just learned. "Why are…you telling me this _now_?"

"Because you _have to know_," Mystique said, her voice resolved, though it cracked slightly. "You have to be able to help him when the time comes."

"How am I supposed to keep him from seeing what I know? We're always in each other's heads these days," Erik pointed out.

"It will only be for one night that you have to keep the secret. It will begin tomorrow," Destiny told him. "Just tell him you're tired tonight. He'll accept that."

Again, Erik sighed. "Gott, and I thought things couldn't be any worse."

"I'm sorry to do this to you, Erik, but…he _needs_ you," Mystique said quietly, almost desperately.

"I know that. I'm not going to turn away when he needs me the most. It's just…I would do _anything_ if I could stop this from happening."

"I know," Mystique said, a brief smile flickering across her face. "He's lucky to have you."

"Not half as lucky as I am to have him," Erik said before heading out.

_I won't lose him to this…I __**won't!**_

XxX

Charles, either fortunately or unfortunately, was completely oblivious to all of this. He was a little too pleased with the information he was about to give Pele. Knocking on her door, he waited patiently for her to answer. When she finally did, he handed her a slender manila folder.

"I thought you might want this."

"What is it?" she asked, signaling he could enter as she took the folder.

"Records. Destiny did a little digging for us. They're about you…you and your parents," he explained as she began to flip through the papers. "You were born in a small town on the island of O'ahu. Your full name is Rachael Iolana Kainoa."

"Rachael?" she asked, reading the line in the birth certificate that stated this.

"Yes. The current law in the state of Hawai'i is that all children be given English names. It's unfortunate, but it seems your father-"

"Never called me that," she finished as she continued to look, having no memory of ever having been called Rachael.

"I imagine so. You were born on April 8th, 1955. You know what that means, don't you?" he asked, unable to help grinning.

She stared at him oddly for a few moments before slowly replying, "My…birthday was last week?"

"Exactly. You're eight years old now."

For a moment, Pele's expression looked distant. "Shaw…never told me my birthday. He just…mentioned how old I was from time to time."

"Well, now you've got it back," Charles said, revealing the other thing he'd been holding: a brand new piano book. "Happy birthday."

"Mozart?" Pele whispered as she took the book in her hands, her tone almost reverent.

"Yes, another exceedingly bright young person, like yourself. I imagine he'll present you with quite a challenge."

"We'll see," Pele said, smirking in anticipation as she flipped through the pages.

When Charles went to bed later that night, he thought nothing of the fact that Erik was already asleep…courtesy of a very strong sleeping pill.

XxX

The circle of four grew to a circle of five the next day, with Havok joining them in the study.

"Now, Artemis, what exactly is it you want from me?" Charles asked, treading carefully.

"I want you…to break the barrier in my mind. It is not enough to want to remember what I have forgotten. The barrier must be broken."

"That's…very dangerous, Artemis. If I go too far…the damage to your mind could be irreparable."

"You will _not_ go so far, though. I trust you, Professor. I believe you can do it," she said, barely noticing the nervous way Havok gripped her hand.

"How far is too far? How am I to know? I don't know that you understand just how badly you wanted to forget what happened."

"Well…now I want to remember…and I want you to fight me until we find what it is I ran away from," Artemis said firmly.

"If you insist, Artemis…but if _I_ deem I'm overstepping my boundaries, I _will_ stop."

Artemis nodded her understanding, waiting calmly for Charles to decide he was ready…and when the five of them had calmed sufficiently, he began.

The barrier was there, as it always had been…but this time, the telepath tried a different approach. He seized on one of the brighter snatches of memory…an image of the woman with dark blonde hair…and allowed it to guide him through, the barrier shattering much easier than he'd expected.

Instantly, the five were swamped with memories…images of the woman…Mom…cooking…pushing Artemis on a swing…tucking her into bed…playing piano while she danced around the room in a nightgown. Artemis' mind was full of warmth as she remembered.

_Mom…_

"_My Rosie."_

_Rosie?_

_Your name, Artemis,_ Charles explained for her.

_Rosie…_

It wasn't all warmth and sunshine, though. Her father was in the memories, too…drunk, mostly…angry…slapping Mom. The first time she'd levitated a spoon, Dad had moved in to hit her-

"_Freak!"_

-but Mom had stopped him.

"_Don't hurt her! It isn't her fault. I gave birth to her. Hurt me instead!"_

He'd obliged…every time.

Then, one night, he'd come home screaming about how he'd lost his job and they couldn't afford to keep the freak anymore. Out came the kitchen knife…

_Oh, God._

…and there was Mom.

"_I told you. It's not her fault. Hurt __**me**__."_

_I remember this._

A stab to the shoulder…God…he was really hurting her. He might even _kill_ her…

"_Daddy, no! Don't hurt Mom!"_

"_Shut up, you little bitch! You're next!"_

_No, no, no, no, no, no, no-_

She had to do _something._ She couldn't let him kill her.

_**You have power. Use it!**_

_No!_

She was so young…all she knew was that if you stopped the heart, you stopped the person. Using her power, she felt for the beat of blood in his body.

_NO!_ Artemis' horrified voice sounded throughout all their heads. _Don't look!_

_We can't stop this now,_ Charles said sadly.

She could have stopped when her father staggered back, gasping for breath.

She didn't.

She could have stopped when he fell to the floor, his fingers scrabbling desperately at his chest.

She didn't.

Even then, she could have stopped when he looked into her eyes and hissed, "Monster."

And still, she didn't. She didn't stop until she felt his heart burst in his chest…until he coughed up a last spray of blood and collapsed to the floor in a crumpled heap. Only then did she look down…and see her father lying dead…the father she'd killed.

_Monster…_

"_R-Rosie," her mother called weakly, reaching a hand out to her. She was bleeding badly._

_**Monster!**_

She ran…ran from it all…ran from her own mind, even.

The group was snapped from the memory by the sound of Artemis screaming. She was on her knees, clutching her head as if in pain. As they watched, her posture slowly devolved to all fours and she began to snarl, baring her teeth.

"She's regressing," Charles warned as Havok slowly approached the wolf girl from the side. "Be careful."

"Rosie?" Havok said calmly, calling her by name, as she did for him.

Faster than he could track, she turned on him, her snarl more pronounced than ever.

"Rosie," he repeated, holding out a hand to her, but not actually touching her. "You're not a wolf. You can't hide from this."

"Shut up!" she snapped. "I _am_ a wolf! Do you hear? Hunter is _not_ a man's child!"

"Then why are you speaking English?" he asked, calm as ever.

At this, Artemis threw her head back and howled, loud and long, a hunting call. Then she sprang at Havok, knocking him to the floor and sinking her teeth into his shoulder.

"Alex!" Charles shouted.

Havok tensed, but he didn't fight. He forced himself not to cry out…and when Artemis tasted his blood in her mouth, she seemed to come out of it. Briefly, she stiffened over him, then collapsed on top of him, sobbing quietly. Ignoring the pain in his shoulder, Havok gently wrapped his arms around her.

"It's okay," he whispered over and over again. "It's okay."

None of them dared to move for the longest time. Only when Pele came to kneel beside the two teenagers did Artemis speak again, and even then, she didn't look up from Havok's chest.

"At least…you can say…you were forced to do it," she said to her. "Me? I _chose_ to do it. I killed my own father!"

"He was going to kill your mom," Havok reminded her. "He might have killed _you_."

"But he was my _dad_."

"That is _not_ important," Charles said firmly, the expression on his face stiffer than normal. "If he treated you like _that_…he was no father to you. You had every right to defend yourself and your mother."

"I know that," she cried as her two realities synthesized, slowly and painfully. "But…I just…I couldn't stand…to see that look in my mom's eyes…the look that said I was a monster. She'd always loved me. I couldn't bear…to have her not love me anymore…for what I did…so I ran."

"There are people who love you _now_, Rosie. Your wolves loved you, didn't they?" Havok asked her. It took a few minutes, but she slowly nodded her head. "And we love you here. Is that not enough?"

Charles was about to add to this when an image flashed through his mind…an image of Cain standing over him…

"_Dirty little __**fag!**__" _

The image was so strong it nearly knocked Charles off his feet. He barely managed to conceal his sharp intake of breath.

"Havok, that…your shoulder…it will need to be treated," he said, stuttering slightly. "You and Artemis both ought to go see Hank. Pele…do you think you could help them with that? And Erik…I think we could all do with a cup of cocoa right now. Could you arrange that?"

Artemis and Havok were a little too caught up in each other to notice, but Erik and Pele realized something was wrong almost immediately. Pele did as he asked, moving to assist the two teenagers in getting to their feet and steering them out of the room, figuring it was best to leave whatever this was to Erik.

"Charles…are you all right?" Erik couldn't help asking, even though he knew he was far from it. He knew _exactly_ what this was.

"I…I'm fine," he muttered, running a hand through his hair in exasperation. "Why wouldn't I be fine?"

"Charles-"

"Are you going to make that cocoa or not?" he snapped at him, suddenly irritable.

"Yes, but…" he began slowly, going to place a hand on the telepath's shoulder. "Charles, what's wrong?"

"Noth-"

_Turning his head to the side, he could see his reflection in the mirror…his lip was swollen, his nose was bleeding, and his left eyelid was turning purple. None of this compared to the other pains in his body._

"_You **like** that, huh…**fag**?"_

Charles gasped in shock as he stumbled away from Erik, taking several short, shallow breaths. He was fairly certain he felt the onset of panic. Why couldn't he breathe?

"I…I'm _fine_, Erik," he kept insisting. "You…go on ahead to the kitchen. I'll be down in a little while," he said before stumbling out of the study.

Erik really had no idea what to do. For a time, all he could manage was to stare after Charles with an utterly lost look on his face. It was happening already. What could he _do_?

_His memory is returning._

XxX

"So how does this scheme of yours work, exactly?" Selene asked Wyngarde from her perch in a tree above their RV trailer. They were camped just beyond the far northern boundaries of the Xavier estate. "I understand using your illusion powers to manipulate their nightmares, but why such a round about method?"

"Well, my dear, as you well know, my illusions are strong enough to fool even high level telepaths like Frost and Xavier, but if I kept all of my focus on Xavier for too long, he _would_ eventually begin to figure it out. He can't be kept in the dark forever. Aside from being a telepath, he's just too smart for that."

"But if you get at him through the others…?"

"He'll be forced to divide his attention. I have it on good authority from Emma that a telepath can hardly sleep in a houseful of night terrors. Well, what about a mansion full of high-octane nightmares?"

"He wouldn't know _what_ to do with himself," Selene finished, a satisfied smirk slithering across her face. "He'll be helpless."

"Leaving _us_ free to gather the intelligence Stryker needs."

"And your web of illusions will keep him from sensing us?"

"It should. I've never known this method to fail."

"But you've also never gone up against someone as powerful as Xavier before, either. Even Frost admits he's much stronger than she is."

"Have a little faith in me, my dear. I have my own strengths in this little game. Though I must say," he continued, turning his gaze in the direction of the mansion, "if what I'm picking up on from that fortress is any indication, I won't need much help in stirring up the night terrors over there."

XxX

(A/N) And once again, it starts. Just can't leave our boys alone, can I? Eheh. Yeah, I did the Cain thing…but who among us is really going to deny we like us a little Charles-torture? There will definitely be some of that in the very near future. And until it occurs, fare thee well, my dear readers.


	9. From the Soul of a Young Man

(A/N) As always, thank you for your continued attention to my little story. I suppose it's only fair to warn you this chapter contains graphic depictions of a rape. Not for the faint of heart. Hope you enjoy…

**How Do You Measure…**

_Chapter 9: From the Soul of a Young Man_

"I'm sorry," Artemis couldn't seem to stop repeating over and over again.

"For the thousandth time, it's okay," Havok said, wincing only slightly as Beast stitched up the bite in his shoulder. "Trust me, I've had worse."

"But I…shouldn't have done it."

"Hey, you weren't exactly thinkin' straight at the time. Besides, now you know how _I_ felt…that night. Guess you could say we're even now," he said, cracking a wry grin.

"Alex…" she started, not really having anything to follow up with. Instead, she leaned her head against his good shoulder, whining plaintively in her wolf voice.

"Don't worry, Artemis," Beast consoled her as he wrapped a bandage around the fresh stitches. "It'll heal up in a week or two. This isn't bad at all."

"What I did to you was a _lot_ worse," Havok pointed out.

"But you didn't…_mean_ to do it. I meant to do this."

"And that makes me feel _better_, if I'm bein' honest…that you were angry enough to bite me. I _wanted_ to be hit…for what I did."

"For crying out loud!" Pele interrupted before Artemis could protest any more. "Let's just say you're square and leave it at that. Honestly, you two are as bad as Erik and Charles."

This shut the two teenagers up right quick. They both blushed violently, sneaking brief glances at each other before quickly looking away again.

_Oh, to be a telepath right about now,_ Pele thought smugly as she watched the chaos her few simple words had wrought.

"All you need to worry about for now is keeping that clean," Beast said to the deafening silence. "You can go now if you want."

Artemis and Havok did so, not quite looking at each other as they headed out. Once they'd gone, Beast turned to Pele with a wry smile.

"I don't know that I've ever seen him shut up so fast. My compliments."

"Thank you," she said with no small amount of satisfaction in her voice, but just as quickly, her expression turned serious. "I think…something might be wrong with Charles."

"How do you mean?" Beast asked slowly as he moved to put away his supplies.

"He was acting…strange…up there, just now. Erik's with him now, but…I don't know. I just…feel like something's about to happen."

"Well, let's hope you're wrong," he said, not looking at her as he went back to the blueprint he'd been working on. "Enough has happened already."

XxX

After leaving the study, Charles had staggered his way back to his and Erik's room, collapsing heavily on the bed and drawing shaky breaths as hazy half-memories assaulted his mind.

_**What…what's…happening…to me?**_

_James' mouth was hot and moist between his legs. They'd done some kissing and some touching many times before, but this was only the second time they'd done anything like this…and it felt **so good**._

"_Unh…unh…Jamie," he groaned quietly as he ran his fingers through his boyfriend's jet-black hair. He was so close…_

_James hummed gently against him, sending a jolt of sensation through his body._

"_Ah!" he cried out, bucking up against him as he came. James swallowed, moaning in heated satisfaction as Charles collapsed back on his bed._

_James chuckled as he licked the stray drops of come from his lips, climbing up onto the bed. "Did you get something?" he asked, suddenly sounding a little nervous._

"_Uhuh," he said, reaching over to his nightstand to grab the jar of Vaseline. _

"_Are you…sure you wanna do this?" he asked, looking scared and excited all at the same time._

_Slowly, he sat up, leaning forward and pressing his lips to James', tasting salt as they kissed. "I'm sure," he said once they'd separated. "I **want** to have sex with you."_

_James nodded, his smile looking almost teary as he bent his head down to Charles chest. His shirt was already unbuttoned, so he kissed a trail down that pale stretch of flesh, all the way down to his waistline, where he began to pull his pants the rest of the way off._

_**James…**_

"_Hey, freak! Where the fuck are you?" his stepbrother's voice suddenly sounded in his ears. Oh, God…**Cain!** He was back early. How had he not heard him coming?_

"_I got a bone to pick…with…" Cain's voice died in his throat when he burst into the room. Really, there could be no mistaking what was going on here._

"_Cain…"_

"_What…what the hell **is** this?" the younger Marko demanded, his face twisted with disgust._

"_This…" Charles began slowly, "…is me having sex…with my boyfriend."_

"_My **God**! You're a **fag?**" he shouted, literally spitting the word in Charles direction like some foul curse. "God damn it! If Dad had known that, he would have fuckin' beat it out of you. Your mom wouldn't have left you **anything** if she'd known about this. This place should be **mine!**"_

"_Well, it's not. Now, if you wouldn't mind, I'd appreciate it if you would leave **my** home," Charles requested calmly, even though he knew Cain had no such intentions. In fact, when he caught a glimpse of his stepbrother's enraged, half-formed thoughts, he felt his heart drop in sudden terror. _

"_Oh, **hell** no. I'm not letting this shit go on right after Dad's funeral. You fucking gays think you can do whatever you want, huh? Well, I'll teach you some respect," he snarled, coming at Charles. Before he could even make it halfway to the bed, though, James was standing in front of him, blocking his way._

"_You're **not** going to hurt him," he said firmly. "Not anymore…not while **I'm** here."_

"_Jamie," Charles whispered, his face tight with misery as he sifted through Cain's brutal and vicious mind. "Run…just run. God…please get out of here. He'll hurt you, too."_

"_Fine," the dark-haired boy said as he faced down Cain, seemingly resigned to his fate. He knew he stood no chance against the hulking Marko. "So long as he doesn't hurt you."_

_James took the first couple punches well…even managed to throw a few of his own, but Cain was soon beating him down, his mind far too gone for Charles' power to hold any sway at all. Charles barely even realized he was shouting until he noticed Raven standing in the doorway, a look of horror plastered across her face._

"_Cain, stop! Please stop! **Please!**" he begged. "Don't hurt them! Hurt me instead!"_

_Somewhat placated by the request, Cain turned to look at him, a maddened gleam in his eyes. "Oh, I **will**, you freak. I'll hurt you so bad you won't ever get up again," he promised before dragging James to the closet and shoving him in. He went after Raven next. She tried to run, but Cain had the advantage of shock on his side. Once he had them both in the closet, he locked it. Then he turned on Charles._

"_There's no one who can help you now. Not your mommy, not your stupid sister, not your fucking **boyfriend**…I'm gonna make you wish you were never **born**, freak."_

_With that, Cain shoved him back onto the bed. He started with a harsh beating, the worst he'd ever given Charles…but he remained defiantly silent throughout. Not even the excruciating pain of his ribs breaking could coax a cry from his lips. The only sounds were Raven screaming as she pounded her fists uselessly against the closet door, heard only vaguely over the venom in Cain's horrific insults._

"_You're so **disgusting!** There's no way you're human, you dirty little **fag!**"_

_Charles was vaguely attuned to his stepbrother's vile mind throughout…and he saw the moment Cain realized that the pummeling just wasn't enough…and when he saw, quite clearly, what was going to happen to him, he couldn't manage to stop the tears that began to fall._

"_Heheh, I know what **you** want, freak," he said as he pulled his pants down, revealing that he obviously got off on this sort of torture. Laughing maliciously as he hiked his stepbrother's legs up, he entered him completely raw._

_Charles couldn't help but scream. It was a pain unlike anything he'd ever known, and he felt almost certain he was going to die. Turning his head to the side, he could see his reflection in the mirror…his lip was swollen, his nose was bleeding, and his left eyelid was turning purple. None of this compared to the other pains in his body._

_"You** like **that, huh…**fag?** Tell me how much you like my huge cock in you."_

"_Mm…mm-mm," he whimpered, shaking his head back and forth._

"_Do it…or your little **boyfriend's** next," Cain hissed as he licked his ear._

_Charles shuddered and muttered, "I like it."_

"_You like **what**?" Cain pressed, giving a particularly harsh thrust._

"_I like your huge cock in me!" he cried out, feeling he could vomit at saying such words._

_In an effort to distance himself from the agony, Charles' reached out for James' mind, finding him barely conscious and weeping inwardly for what he was allowing to happen to his boyfriend._

_**Jamie…Jamie, I'm so sorry. I love you…but you shouldn't have to live with this. Goodbye, Jamie. I'm so sorry.**_

_Then, for the first time in his life, Charles Xavier erased another person's memory…his own boyfriend. He wrapped his mind around every memory of himself…every tender moment…every kiss they had shared…every touch…every glance…everything that had passed between them…and he gently brushed it all aside…releasing their love with the bittersweet impression of a kiss. They would be nothing more than classmates to each other now._

"_Goodbye," he whispered, even more tears sliding down his face. Cain was too absorbed in getting off in him to notice the tiny farewell._

_Giving one last violent thrust, Cain buried himself as deeply in his stepbrother as was physically possible and finished with a satisfied grunt. Then he collapsed on top of Charles, pinning his legs painfully against his chest._

"_Heh, I **knew** you'd take it…just like the little bitch you are. You're **weak**, Charles…weak and pathetic. I bet you couldn't even stop me hurting **them** if I wanted to."_

_That did it. All his life…all his life he had allowed people to hurt him. First it had been his mother…his power awakened by his burning desire to know whether or not she loved him…only to be struck down by the undeniable realization that no, she did not. Then it had been Kurt and Cain…Kurt being fond of beatings and Cain taking after him. He had allowed people to do as they wished…because his mother's thoughts had instilled in him a sense of worthlessness. All he was good for was to use himself as a shield…to prevent any of them from hurting Raven any worse than she'd already been hurt. He could take it. He **must**…but it wasn't enough anymore. His body and spirit had been used up…all in this single act. He was worthless, even as a shield now. He had to do what he'd promised himself he would never._

_**Don't you want…**_real_** power?**_

_He couldn't let this happen. He couldn't let Cain hurt Raven and James…especially since James no longer had anything to do with him. Giving in to the whisper in the back of his mind, he suddenly felt power flow through him…strength he'd never quite realized he possessed. Everything that followed seemed to him to occur as through a haze._

_He relished Cain's shock as the power flared to life in his eyes. He shoved him off the bed, a new fire he'd never known before surging through his veins…telekinesis. As Cain cowered on the floor with Charles towering over him, he forced his way into his mind, further than he'd ever gone, letting him know just how much of a freak he was._

"_Who's the bitch **now**?" he hissed, placing a foot on Cain's chest and holding him down with his newly discovered ability._

"_What…what **are** you?" Cain asked, his face white with terror._

_Charles laughed at this, sneering down at his tormentor. "Strange. You never asked that before. I'm a **freak**, aren't I, Cain Marko? I could have done this whenever I wanted, brother. Do you see? You've never been anything more than an **insect** to me. I'm not a man…no, certainly not," he said, his voice burning cold as the glorious revelation washed through him. "I am a **god**…and no human will ever crush me underfoot **again!**"_

_As he said this, he drove his foot even more harshly into the older boy's chest, forcing the air from his lungs. As Cain gasped for breathe, Charles thrust into the deepest parts of his dark mind, shedding the burning rays of his power on every last murky corner, charring everything he touched. He awoke horrible nightmares and primal fears, torturing him with the horrors of his own mind._

_**You will never know peace again, Cain,** his voice echoed throughout his stepbrother's psyche as he shoved mental needles into every atom of his existence, trembling in wicked delight at every scream he tore from his mouth…a lifetime of repressed rage and helplessness purged all in a few minutes._

"_**Please!**" Cain begged, writhing in abject agony. "Stop! Stop it!"_

_It should have pleased him to hear Cain beg for mercy, but for some reason, it only angered him more. He responded by further tearing his mind open, spilling his innermost thoughts like blood._

"_**How many times have I begged **_you_** to stop and you hurt me anyway? When have you ever shown **_me_** mercy? Why should I give it to you now?**__" he shrieked, anger and glee mounting as he strangled the pathetic mind beneath him…and Cain screamed as his mind broke._

_But then, something inside of him went cold…and he saw what he was doing…something of his former weak self still lived._

"_Run, Cain Marko," he spat down at him. "Run for your **life!**"_

_Cain quickly scrabbled to his feet and fled from the room, from the mansion, running out into the night screaming. The last thought Charles forced into his scrambled brain was, __**If I ever see you again, I'll **_kill_** you.**_

_Somewhere in the back of his mind, he remembered James and Raven. Going to unlock the closet, he found James unconscious and Raven cowering as far back as she could manage, staring up at him in quiet horror. Looking into her mind, he saw that she feared for her life. She was afraid of **him**._

_It was her fear that finally woke him. He blinked several times and the onslaught of new power was washed away. He turned to look at himself in the mirror, naked save for the unbuttoned shirt that still somehow clung to his shoulders. He was soaked in his own blood and covered with horrible wounds. He barely recognized himself…and that was fitting…for he **couldn't** be himself anymore…not Charles Xavier._

_He had just destroyed another person's mind._

"_Dear God…what have I **done?**" he whispered before his world went black._

The first thing Charles became aware of once the awakening memory had released him was the feeling of tears on his face. Against his will, several strangled sobs escaped his throat. He tried to curl in on himself, but the next thing he found was that he was held securely in someone's arms. It took him no more than a moment to recognize Erik's scent and the feel of his strong chest against his back. No need to ask if Erik had witnessed the memory. Their connection was mostly active by default these days, and something _that_ intense…no way he would have been able to keep it hidden.

"What did I do? What have I done?" he whispered helplessly, staring down at his hands in horror. He couldn't seem to stop shaking. Seeking an anchor, he seized the hands that held him, gripping them tightly in his. His grip must have hurt, but Erik said nothing…just squeezed back…any stability or comfort that was in his power to give, he would do so.

"You're okay. You're okay," he whispered in his ear. "It's over, mein Schatz."

There was no sense in questioning whether or not it was real. He remembered it now…as if he'd never forgotten. He was exactly like Artemis; he had forgotten because he couldn't bear to remember. Only, unlike her, he had the literal ability to erase memory…or at least suppress it. He must have unintentionally done it to himself…a job so thorough, even Emma's mental assaults hadn't been able to uncover it. Nothing had…until he'd been faced with a situation so similar to his own…

All of these rationalizations ran through his head, but they couldn't do anything to ease the emotions that came with them. The horror of what had happened to him…compounded with the heinous acts he'd committed…all he could do was lay there and weep, gripping Erik's hands as if they were the last solid things in the world.

How had this happened?

Erik held him while he cried, whispering soothingly to him in every language he knew while he gently kissed the back of his head, neck, and shoulders, doing whatever he could think of to calm him. When the young professor had finally cried himself into emptiness and exhaustion, the only action he could manage was to pull Erik's hands up to his face and gently kiss them, letting him know how much his patience and understanding were cherished.

"Is this…this _creature_…really me?" he asked, his voice hoarse.

Erik sighed in resignation upon hearing the question. "That's so like you, Charles. You don't care about the fact that you suffered something _no one_ should have to suffer. You care about the fact that you hurt someone else…someone who really _did_ deserve it."

"I don't…_want_ to be that person, Erik. How the _hell_ do you know who deserves to be punished? _No one_ should have that power…and here it is."

Erik thought for a long while before answering, gently squeezing the hands he held to let Charles know he was still there.

"I don't have an answer for you, Charles. You _know_ I believe in justice. I _believe_ there are people who _must_ be punished for what they've done…and I've made those decisions. Artemis' father…you _can't_ deny he deserved what happened to him."

"No, but…while he was alive…he at least had the opportunity to try and atone for what he did."

"Would you tell _her_ that?"

"Never. She acted in self-defense…but you and I…can we really decide who lives and who dies…who's saved and who's destroyed?"

"I've never thought about can and cannot. I just do. That's what _you_ did that night. You didn't _decide_ to destroy Cain. You acted to protect the people you cared about. That's what made it happen."

"And someone else was hurt because of that."

"Mein Gott, how can I convince you…Charles…think about our daughter…this little baby girl we're going to have. You love her, don't you?" he asked, even though he already knew the answer.

"So much," Charles answered, squeezing Erik's hands again. "I don't even know her…and I already adore her…because she's yours…yours and mine."

"God forbid anything like this should happen…but what if someone were to hurt her? What would you do? Would you just _forgive_ him?" he demanded quietly.

"I…I don't know," Charles murmured. He already knew he hadn't just _forgiven_…when he thought Pele and Shaw might have killed Erik. Onslaught had come awake because of it. He had coalesced into being in the first place…from his own repressed negativity...because Cain had vaguely hinted that he was contemplating harming Raven and James. What would happen…if someone were to harm their child…this precious seed that was the symbol of how hard he and Erik had fought to be together? Briefly, he remembered the little girl from his dream…the love in her heart…the innocence in her sweet smile. How could _anyone_ harm her?

And yet…he knew there were such people in the world. The truth of it lived inside Erik's head. He had seen children even younger than that tossed into incinerators…experimented on…shot…worked to death…_murdered_…

…all because _someone else_ had decided it was okay to hate them…had somehow come to the conclusion that they were the ones who deserved to die.

_He killed your mother…and you would kill him. I __**know**__ I would destroy him if he were to harm you or the baby. Where does it end?_ He asked.

If Erik gave him an answer, he didn't hear it, because he'd already fallen asleep. He was exhausted on all possible levels…remembering the things he had…and now this conversation with Erik…he just wanted it all to _stop_…even if only for a little while…so his body had complied.

XxX

Mystique and Destiny found themselves in much the same position in their own room, only they faced each other as Destiny cradled Mystique close to her, the shape shifter crying silent, nearly invisible tears. The salty tracks were hardly visible against her dark blue, scaly skin.

Destiny hummed gently as Mystique clung to her, naked and natural. Destiny was the only person she'd ever asked if her choice to forgo clothing bothered her, but it never had. She'd never told Mystique this, but she found her true form very beautiful. Even among their odd little family and all the things she'd seen since becoming a part of it, Mystique was unlike anything she'd ever seen…truly deserving of the name she'd chosen. Even though she'd never really looked at women that way before Mystique, she hadn't looked at a lot of men, either. She'd hardly looked at anyone in that way. Charles had briefly stirred her interest, but that had been over quickly. Even though she'd only ever been with a few men in her life, and had suddenly found herself thinking of Mystique as beautiful even before her powers had been awakened, she was secure in the things she felt. After all, there came a certain sense of security in knowing that some things were certain. Mystique hardly seemed to notice the way their bodies were pressed so intimately together, separated only by Destiny's thin summer clothing. The pose had just become so natural for them.

"Did I really do the right thing?" Mystique asked her, her head resting against her chest.

"The only thing," she replied, gently running her fingers through her crimson hair. "Can you imagine what might have happened if Erik had gone into this blind? It could have been much worse."

"I just wish…he didn't have to remember at all."

"I know…but it was inevitable from the moment Artemis walked through the front door…and you _know_ it'll be better for all of them if he's able to face it…to make peace with it and to move on. There's no other way to tame Onslaught."

"Destiny…Destiny…Irene?" she whispered several times, finally lifting her heavy head from the pillow. "Is this really going to make this future of yours any better?"

"Yes," she answered firmly, slipping a hand up to stroke her cheek. "Charles _has_ to be at peace with himself…otherwise he'll fall to Onslaught and Shaw…and be used as a weapon to destroy everything he loves. He and Erik are far from being out of the woods."

Mystique laughed bitterly at this, sitting up to wipe the tears from her face. "Well, I guess you know best. Sometimes it's really hard having a precog for a roommate, y'know?"

"I know," she said as she shifted on the bed, propping her head up with her right hand. "I _am_ sorry to drag you into this, but…I want you with me…I _need_ you…Raven…to know I have your support…that I'm not alone in this."

"You're not. You never will be," Mystique returned, resting a hand on her shoulder. "I promised you I'd help…and I meant it." For some reason, Destiny's use of that name didn't anger her as it did when all the others had tried to go back to it. It felt so…_right_ from her lips, Mystique couldn't bring herself to question it. Perhaps she'd been spending a little too much time with Destiny, but she felt suddenly certain that the name Raven was only for the precog's lips to speak from this day forward. No one else had earned the right to it.

It happened so naturally, Mystique wondered that it hadn't happened before now. She leaned down close to her roommate and pressed her lips against hers. Destiny responded willingly, _eagerly_ even. Frightened…searching…she ran a feather-light touch through her soft auburn hair.

When they finally separated, Mystique couldn't quite manage to stop the wry smirk that worked its way onto her face.

"And you probably saw that coming, too, didn't you."

Destiny nodded. "I've been waiting for you, Raven…waiting for you to make the decision yourself. You…you don't feel like I'm forcing you into anything, do you?" she asked, sounding uncertain of herself for the first time in many months. Of all the strands of fate running through her conscious mind, she _desperately_ wanted this one to be right.

Mystique thought for several minutes before answering, "No. This feels right. I have…slept with girls before. I've never really thought of myself as _having_ a defined sexuality…since I can be anything I want to. I've experienced it from all angles."

"But you've…never been with anyone as you really are?" Destiny asked, reaching out a hand to run a thumb over Mystique's bottom lip. The shape shifter shook her head, her smile almost…shy.

"I think…I'd like that…to know what that feels like."

Almost immediately after she'd admitted to this though, her usual attitude seemed to reappear in little more than a flash.

"I gotta say, though…it's gonna be a little awkward kissing you when I know you're carrying my brother's spawn."

Destiny actually laughed at this, placing a hand protectively over her womb. "Don't let _them_ hear you say that. Just give it a few more months…then they can have the baby and _you_ can have _me_."

"Deal," Mystique said sweetly, leaning in for another kiss.

XxX

(A/N) Don't really have any notes for you this time. What do you think? Everything still working for ya?


	10. I'll Be Your Shelter

(A/N) Thanks to all of you lovely dears for the reviews and the favorites. Enjoy your flangst.

**How Do You Measure…**

_Chapter 10: I'll Be Your Shelter_

_Onslaught doesn't come to him this time. He's already there waiting for him, sitting casually on the bed. The room looks as it did nearly nine years ago._

"_I suppose you could say we have two birthdays, Charles. The day you were born…and the night your brother **fucked** you and created **me**."_

"_**Step**brother," he bites back, shocked by how different his own voice sounds. Glancing into the mirror, he sees his reflection as it was that night…frozen in time._

"_You're wondering why you always appear so weak before me," Onslaught says, giving voice to his exact thoughts. "First the wheelchair…now this pathetic, broken child…it's simply a reflection of what you are without me…**helpless**."_

"_No," he whispers, hating the sound of his teenaged voice._

"_Don't deny it," his other self says, a feral sneer lighting up his face as he speaks. "Your sub-conscience created **me** because you just couldn't **bear** to compromise your pathetic morals in order to do what needed to be done…and the only way you can sleep at night is to deny me…to think of me as separate from yourself…evil…other…even though I'm really not. I am your desire, Charles Xavier. I am all you **wish** you could be, do, and say…the secret part of you that agrees with your precious lover…that would destroy any human who **dared** to harm what's yours. I am the ugliness in your soul you want no one else to see."_

"_Everyone…has things they would rather keep hidden," Charles says slowly, wishing he could conceal his vulnerable, naked psyche from Onslaught's penetrating gaze. "What makes **you** so special?"_

_His other smirks as he rises from the bed, coming to stand before him. "I'm special…because **you** are special. You are a telepath…a psychic. As such, your beauty is made that much greater by each mind you touch…but your darkness is also made that much darker for it. If you would only **become** that darkness…you would be more powerful than any being on this planet. Look," he says, turning him back to face the mirror. For a moment, they are two separate beings, but then their images coalesce and they are one mighty being._

_This new Charles stands unafraid before the mirror, confidence and power blazing in his blue eyes like fire. A roguish smirk lights his face, as if he's challenging the world to do its worst. No one could harm this man…or the people he loves._

_**This is what you want, isn't it? I can do it if you'd let me.**_

"_I…this…I **do** want this," he hears himself half-moan, like some anxious virgin. _

_**Then give yourself over to me…and I will take **_all_** of your pain and weakness away.**_

"_I…I…"_

_He's about to say yes…he really is. All of his pain and weakness is a far cry from this god he sees in the mirror. He can **be** that…_

…_but then he remembers the fear in Raven's eyes…hears Cain screaming…remembers Pele's broken body…hears Erik's cry…_

"_**Come back, Charles!" **_

"_NO!" he shouts, forcefully separating himself from his darkness. The reflection splits once again and he stumbles away from the mirror, collapsing on the bed as he stares back at Onslaught, horrified at what had almost happened._

_Onslaught smirks, following him slowly, coming to stand over the bed in the exact same way Cain had._

"_You can't deny me forever, Charles. Someday you'll have to come to terms with the fact that your power is incomplete without me."_

_**Then**__…_let_** it be incomplete.**_

XxX

Charles slept for nearly a week after the incident, not restfully, either. In all this time, Erik rarely left his side, standing on guard in case he was needed. It was left to Mystique and Destiny to explain what had happened. Everyone was, of course, sympathetic. They'd all had traumatic experiences of their own, so they were determined to allow their mentor as much time as he needed to recover. Beast took up Erik's slack in the kitchen, and the group tried to stay out of disputes, but when it was unavoidable, Mystique took up the role of mediator, her judgments usually ending with, "Because I said so."

When Charles finally _did_ wake up, Mystique and Destiny were the first ones Erik allowed in to see him.

When they entered the room, they found the two men sitting against their bed's headboard, Erik cradling Charles close to him and Charles resting his head against Erik's shoulder, his eyes barely open. The two women approached the bed with their hands clasped.

"How're you doing?" Mystique asked her brother, who slowly lifted his head from Erik's shoulder.

"As well as can be expected, I suppose."

"I…I'm sorry I never told you."

"No, it…I'm sorry, too," he said, reaching for her free hand.

"For what?" she asked, her eyes narrowing.

"For running away…for whatever I did that night…for making you bear the burden of it all alone. I'm a terrible brother."

"None of that," Mystique said indignantly, slapping his hand gently away. "You're the one who's been hurt here."

"Yes, but…I've been oblivious for the past nine years. You've had to deal with what happened to me…and what I did."

Mystique shot a brief glance toward Erik at this and he shook his head, silently ordering her not to push it.

"Mystique…what happened to Jamie? Do you know?"

"He's doing well. Last I heard, he was studying psychology at Yale."

"Heh, psychology. That's nice. Maybe I _did_ leave an impression on him after all."

"I'm sure you did."

"So how's our little one?" Charles asked, turning his attention to Destiny, who rested her free hand on the barely visible swell of her stomach.

"Hank says she's doing well, developing properly. There still isn't much to see on the ultrasounds, though."

"Oh, well," Charles sighed. He was about to ask more when he suddenly noticed the way the two women were holding hands. He looked up at his sister with a question in his eyes, which she answered with a smile and a nod. Charles' own face lit up at this. "Heheh, I'd been wondering. I'm very happy for the two of you. Though…do I need to have a friendly, big brother type chat with you, Destiny?"

Destiny shrugged casually at this. "If you're so inclined, but I'd say your sister can handle herself pretty well."

"I'd ask you what your intentions are, but…who am I kidding? You already know exactly where the relationship's heading, anyway."

"I do," she said, sharing a teasing smile with her lover.

"How are…Artemis and Havok doing?" Charles asked suddenly, pitching the question to the group at large.

"They're…doing all right," Erik answered slowly. When Charles gave him a slightly panicked look, Erik rushed to reassure him. "It's not like before. They're still speaking to each other. It's just…something's different between them. We don't really know what."

"Well, let's have a little look," Charles said, sitting up and pressing two fingers to his temple.

"Charles," Mystique started.

"Don't worry. If whatever it is is apparent to all of you, it'll be at the front of their minds. It won't take much-"

Whatever he'd been about to say was abruptly cut off when he came into contact with Artemis' mind. Of course, she was torn up over the events of the past week, feeling they were somehow her fault…but there were also images of Havok he could have lived his life without seeing.

"Oh…"

Havok's mind was much the same…and the images of _Artemis_ he could have done with even less, feeling almost _dirty_ for beholding even that tiny glimpse.

"_Oh…_"

"Oh…what?" Erik asked.

"Well…let's just say, a typical pair of teenagers."

XxX

The 'typical pair of teenagers' was currently to be found in one of the estate's many gardens, throwing punches and kicks at each other. Artemis had insisted Havok teach her at least some basic fighting moves, which he'd initially been surprised by, considering some of the things she could do, but she'd explained to him that she felt her power might give her an unfair advantage. After remembering what had happened to her father, she'd told him she wanted to be able to fight on a more equal footing with other people…and she wanted to be able to fight. If she was going to be part of their family, she knew she had to be able to assist them in their battle against the Hellfire Club, and her instincts were geared toward hunting, not fighting.

Artemis was doing well thus far. She was a quick learner…_had_ to be, really. Havok coached her as she threw blows at him, catching each one and commenting on her form every time.

"Good…make sure you keep your elbows in. Try a kick," he said, ready for her when her leg came flying up to about the height of his shoulder. This, he also blocked, but only just. Artemis' kicks were much stronger than her punches, and he'd guessed this was due to the leg strength she'd built up running as much as she did.

Unfortunately, the near miss with the kick caused him to miss her next punch, which landed square on his jaw. He stumbled backward several feet, cursing quietly.

"Oh! I'm sorry," she apologized, running to him, but he was already smiling proudly as he rubbed his sore jaw.

"No, it's all right. You actually _hit_ me. That was good."

Artemis was about to say more when a clap of thunder sounded overhead. The sky had been threatening rain all day and now, quite suddenly, the clouds burst open and the threatened weather began in full force.

Havok's first thought was to head back inside, but that would take too long, so he started running toward a nearby gazebo, Artemis close behind. Once they were under cover, the wolf girl immediately turned back to watch the downpour, her face lit with excitement. Havok, on the other hand, couldn't quite help looking elsewhere, seeing that the damage he'd hoped to prevent had already been done. Of _course_ the rain had to start so fast, and of _course_ Artemis had to be wearing a thin, white shirt, which was now soaked, and of _course_ he had a completely unhindered view of her…wait…what…oh, _shit_.

"Uh…Artemis…are you not…wearin' anything under that?" he asked, struggling not to choke on his own words as he averted his gaze, his face going a violent shade of red.

"No," she answered matter-of-factly as she turned to look at him. "I hate those things. I don't really wear the underwear, either. It's all just too tight."

Completely unbidden, a heated tremor swept through his body at her words. He knew the feeling; of _course_ he did…but he shouldn't be feeling it toward _her_.

He'd been quite the ladies' man back home. When he wanted a girl, he took her…provided she was willing, of course…but Artemis was different. She was his _friend_, and he shouldn't be thinking about her this way…especially considering the age difference.

Unlike Pele, Artemis had been of an age to remember when her birthday was and how old she was. She had been born in 1948 and she would be fifteen on June 16th…whereas he was nineteen, already halfway to twenty. It wasn't right…for him to be thinking about her like this.

But Artemis wasn't like other fourteen-year-olds, was she, the lustful part of his nature argued. In the wolf pack she'd lived with, she'd been considered an adult, a full-fledged member of the hunt…able to take care of herself…but where did that leave her now?

"Alex?" she asked quietly, concern shining in her eyes when she saw the way he was looking at her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he said quietly, looking away again.

"You're lying," she said, the look in her eyes going distant as she moved closer to him, burying her nose in his chest.

"What…what are you doing?" he asked, his body stiffening in both terror and want.

Eventually, she looked up at him, but she didn't back away.

"I know…you think of me as being young," she said as she reached up to touch his cheek, the look of want in her eyes matching his. "But I also know…the scent of a male who wants a female."

"Artemis-" he tried to argue, though he couldn't quite help leaning into the touch of her hand.

"I want you, too…Alex," she said honestly. "My body is so hot…and aching…whenever I think of you. My heart is beating so fast…can you feel it?" she asked, pressing her chest to his and grinding her hips gently against his. He _did_ feel it…he felt the heat of her…and the softness of her…the curve of her body against his…and he felt his own body react to her. He moaned rather loudly as she continued to rub against him. God, but he could come with just this.

As he wrapped his arms around her, though, another nagging voice started up in the back of his head. She hadn't kissed him…she'd gone directly to pleasuring him. What would she know about this kind of kissing? She'd gone into the forest at the age of eight…before she'd even had the faintest inkling of feelings like this. What she knew about sex, she'd learned from wolves…and she had no real conception of what sort of place it held in human society. Artemis may have been able to take care of herself, but in so many other ways, she was still so young. Even though he wanted her more than he'd ever wanted anyone else in his life…he couldn't just take advantage of her like this.

"We can't…be doing this," he finally managed to say, grabbing her shoulders and gently but firmly pushing her away.

"Why not?" she asked, the look on her face nearly breaking his heart. "Was I…wrong?"

"No…no. I do…I do want you…Artemis…but I don't think you understand what this means. You and me…we're not _ready_…to do this."

Artemis nodded. She didn't really understand, but she would abide by his wishes. Before she could say anything more, though, he moved away from her, heading off through the rain to god-knew-where, leaving her standing, cold, wet, and alone.

_What…what did I just do?_

XxX

_He can hear the sound of Rain._

_Cain and Onslaught are standing on either side of him, hissing in his ears._

"_Freak! Fag!" Cain hisses, digging his fingers into his arm._

"_Useless…weak…needy," Onslaught whispers to him, caressing his ear with his tongue in between words._

_Then it's his mother standing before him, her face cold and unmoved as she says, "You were unwanted. You're **worthless**."_

_Charles shakes his head in misery, wishing he could just collapse, but Onslaught and Cain won't allow that._

_As all the words repeat themselves endlessly in his head, still he hears the sound of Rain._

**He can hear the sound of Rain.**

**He's back in Schmidt's torture chamber…the ghosts of his family flitting about his head…**

"**You didn't protect us…" they whisper to him, icy fingers digging into every part of him. Mama is the loudest of all.**

"**Why didn't you save me?"**

"**I _tried!_"**

**Rain splatters against the windowpane as a hand rests against his shoulder. He turns to see…well…he's not sure. One minute, it seems to be Schmidt…the next, it's Shaw.**

"**Isn't that sweet. Little Erik Lehnsherr thinks he can be a father."**

"**It's none of your God damn business!"**

"**My little Erik, just look at yourself. You couldn't even protect Charles. What makes you think you can protect a helpless infant?"**

"**She's my _daughter_," he hisses quietly…warning.**

"**And I'll _take_ her from you…just like I took your mother…and Charles. You didn't really save him. Deep down, you know that. There's some part of _both_ of you that's always going to belong to _me_…and pieces of Charles that will always belong to Cain and Onslaught. You _can't_ save him…and you can't save your baby girl, either."**

**As the words pour into him…_penetrating_…still he hears the sound of Rain.**

**_The sound grows steadily louder, pounding against the buildings with a fury, slowly drowning out everything else. As the Rain lashes down, it begins to wash everything away. The walls of Charles' bedroom begin to dissolve, along with the bed where he'd suffered so much pain. Block Ten also dissolves around Erik, vanishing silently into the misty Rain._**

_**After what feels like an eternity, they find themselves standing on a grassy field, soaking wet as the Rain continues to pour down on them.**_

"_**Erik…"**_

"_**Charles…"**_

_**Hesitantly, they reach for each other…**_and found themselves waking up in bed, hands gently caressing each other's faces.

"Did we just-" Erik started to ask. Charles nodded as he sat up, climbing slowly out of bed, as if in a trance. Erik was about to ask what he was doing when he suddenly realized what sound was drawing him.

Rain.

It was raining hard outside…had been for the past few days. Grey dawn could be seen just beyond their window, but more prominent against the glass was the lashing of the raindrops…a spring storm to wash away the winter.

Charles moved to the window, drawing it wide open. Erik followed him quickly, uncertain of his intentions, but just as he wrapped his arms around the telepath's waist, he simply leaned his head out a little ways, allowing the water droplets to splash against his face.

"Raine," he whispered.

"Hmm?"

"Rain…washes away what's past…makes the world new again. Erik…our little girl…that's her name. Raine."

"Raine Xavier," Erik said, giving it a try. "I like it."

"Just _my_ name?" Charles questioned, glancing back at him.

"You _know_ we can't use mine. I'm supposed to be dead after all."

"I suppose that's true…but we _will_ have something German for her middle name," Charles said, leaning back into his lover's arms.

"If you insist," Erik said, teasingly capturing Charles' lips as the Rain splashed onto them.

XxX

"Is this rain _ever_ going to let up?" Selene pouted as she gazed out one of the trailor's windows. The rain had been falling just outside a week and they'd been trapped inside that entire time while Wyngarde basked in the flow of nightmare material coming from the mansion, trying to decide who his first victim would be. Selene, on the other hand, hated the damp and the early spring chill.

"I swear, my dear, you must have been a cat in another life, the way you behave," the illusionist said smugly as he glanced at her.

"Well…you _could_ say that," Selene said with no small amount of vanity in her voice. She certainly didn't look it, but the dark-haired mutant was well over three thousand years old. She was what people called an energy vampire. Her mutation was that she could drain the life force of another in order to sustain her own. Her first life had been in the ancient nation of Egypt, where she'd been worshipped as a goddess of cats. She'd lived many different lives following that one, so to say what she'd been in another life wasn't entirely outside the realm of possibility.

"In that case, I'd say you do your fellow felines proud."

"So have you made a decision yet?"

"I think so," he said, stroking his moustache thoughtfully. "This boy…Alex Summers…they call him Havok. He has guilt, anger, hatred, frustration…more over, he has the typical urges of a teenager, plus an _intense_ focus for those urges. More importantly, he has love, and that can be turned against him."

"A typical young man?" Selene asked, smirking at the thoughts her partner's words inspired.

"Oh, yes. Alex Summers is ripe for slaughter."

XxX

(A/N) Again, no real notes this time. Ready to bust out a big can of illusion-style nightmare on our little band of mutants?


	11. A Thousand Sweet Kisses

(A/N) As always, I heap adoring praises at the feet of my reviewers and readers. I heart you all so much.

**How Do You Measure…**

_Chapter 11: A Thousand Sweet Kisses_

The rain had let up only a little by the end of April, and it was around that time that Mystique convinced Charles to go and have a talk with Artemis, as she and Havok were once again on uneasy terms, and now _everyone_ seemed to know why

In truth, he'd been hoping one of the two women would have the discussion with her, but Mystique had calmly explained to him that he was the only one who might be able to help her understand, having literally spoken for her before she'd regained her language abilities. Besides, she'd finished with a teasing smirk, _he_ was going to have a daughter one day very soon. This would be good practice.

The professor found the wolf girl alone in the library, pouring through a book. The cavernous space had become one of her favorite places.

"What are you reading?" he asked, sitting down beside her on the couch she occupied.

"_A Midsummer Night's Dream_," she said, showing him the cover.

"Ah, Shakespeare. Enjoying it?"

"Mmhm. I've already read _Twelfth Night_, _Othello_, and _Antony and Cleopatra_."

"Any trouble with the language?"

"Not really. I just…get it. Why? Is it difficult?"

"Many readers find it so, yes. Haven't touched _Romeo and Juliet_ yet?"

Artemis got an odd look in her eyes at this. "People say…it's the greatest love story of all time. I don't think I _want_ to read the greatest love story of all time right now."

"How's Havok?" he asked, hitting the nail exactly on the head.

"He's…well…I don't know. He won't talk to me much these days…and we don't sleep together anymore."

"Artemis…I don't know that you slept together to begin with," he said solemnly.

"What do you mean? Of course we-"

"Do you know what that means to a human…to sleep together?"

Artemis was about to answer yes when she really seemed to see the expression on his face.

"No," she finally answered.

"It's…what you understand as _wanting_ someone…making love…having sex. That's what we mean when we say 'sleep together.' Does that make sense?"

Artemis nodded. "I think so," she said, starting to realize how she must have embarrassed Alex whenever she said it.

"And…how does that work among wolves?" Charles asked, trying to get to the heart of the issue.

"A wolf mates for life," she answered simply. "Until one or the other dies…partners always. Is it…not the same for humans?"

"No…rarely. Many people drift from partner to partner. Humans rarely find a mate for life. We men are very fickle creatures."

"What about…you and Erik? Are you mated for life?"

Charles sighed wistfully at this, his eyes going distant. "I don't know. I _hope_ so. I pray…every night…that we'll be together until we die, but nothing's certain. What about Havok? Is he the one you want to be your mate…for life?"

"Yes."

"How can you know that after only a few months?"

"I am not a wolf…but neither am I completely human or mutant. I wouldn't…waste my time on something fickle. How can _you_ know?"

"I don't," he said, thinking for several minutes before continuing, "but I hope…and I know what _I_ feel…and what he's done. If nothing else…I know I would die for him…and he was willing to do the same for me. Would you die for Havok?" he asked her, not quite believing he was asking at all.

Artemis gave a small smile at this. "If I thought he'd _let_ me…absolutely."

Charles chuckled slightly. "I can certainly understand _that_. What _you_ need to understand, though…is that _he_ may not feel that way…or think _you_ may not understand what it means to feel that way. Perhaps he himself doesn't understand it. The point is that you both need to give yourselves time to figure out what you feel. You may not be like other girls your age, but…sex is still a big step. You run the risk of getting pregnant, or…catching something, even."

Artemis scrunched up her face in confusion. "Catching something?"

Oh, no. _Hell_, no. He was _not_ having _that_ conversation with Artemis. That was for Mystique and Destiny. Bringing up pregnancy with her had been bad enough.

"Never mind. Havok has at least _that_ much sense. All I'm trying to say is…before you jump into bed with him…maybe you ought to try just cuddling first?" he suggested.

Artemis looked thoughtful for a moment before slowly nodding. "All right. I think I understand."

"Good. Enjoy the play. I really do recommend _Romeo and Juliet_."

XxX

"So how do you think it went?" Mystique asked Destiny later that night as they headed back to their room.

"Mostly well. She seems to be getting it. Otherwise, I think Charles is leaving it up to us to talk about safety if the need arises."

"Of course. You'd think he'd have a little more nerve when it came to this sort of thing, considering all the women he's had."

"Well, I imagine it's different when you're discussing it with someone you're responsible for. Was he all suave when he had this conversation with you?" Destiny asked, raising an eyebrow. Mystique couldn't help laughing a little.

"Hell, no. It was _so_ awkward. But…really, he's got to figure it out sometime. He'll have to have this conversation with his own daughter someday, cuz I really don't think Erik's cut out for it."

"Probably not, but I also suppose he thinks he's got several years before any such conversation needs to take place."

"True…though it does leave me wondering who's going to teach sex ed in this place."

"Hank?"

Mystique threw her lover a mock scathing glance. "Yes, because he's _so_ much less awkward than Charles."

"When the occasion calls for it," Destiny argued. "Though, as of right now, it does seem like he'll be doing most of the teaching around here. Charles is going to need to look into getting some more teachers."

"And you already know who they are, don't you," Mystique said, the grin on her face only describable as impish.

"Yes, I do," Destiny returned immediately.

"And you won't tell me," the shape shifter continued casually as they approached their room.

"No. No real need for you to know about them in advance," Destiny said, leading the way in.

"What if I do this?" Mystique suggested, nimbly pinning the precog to the wall and pressing a bruising kiss to her lips. When they came up for air a few minutes later, both breathless, Destiny grinned at her, running a feather-light touch down her side.

"No…it'll take a lot more than that to get me to talk. I _am_ trained to withstand interrogation, after all."

Mystique shuddered at the touch. It somehow managed to be a thousand times more erotic than any sexual experience she'd ever had. She gazed into Destiny's unseeing eyes, her own yellow ones filled with a desperate desire…even though she _knew_ Destiny couldn't see her, the precog still somehow _knew_.

"No one's ever really touched you before," Destiny said softly as she traced a hand along her slim hip, knowing exactly what she was feeling through their connection. "They've touched your disguises…the shields you've placed between yourself and the world…but no one's ever really touched _you_."

Mystique drew a tremulous breath at the words, feeling her body prickle with sensation as Destiny's hand wandered across her stomach. Lowering her head to kiss the smooth, warm skin of her neck, she slid her hands beneath her lover's shirt, letting them wander as they would.

Almost before either of them knew it, they were on the bed, Destiny pinned beneath Mystique as she slipped the last of the clothing from her body.

"Is this…safe?" Mystique somehow managed to ask through her lust-filled haze. "I mean…with the baby?"

"Don't worry," Destiny whispered, tracing a hand straight down her stomach once more. "We've got several months before we need to worry about her." Just as she finished speaking, the precog's hand came to rest just between Mystique's legs, and she gasped in pleasure as her fingers began to explore. While the shape shifter writhed above her, Destiny lowered her head to her breasts, pressing her lips to every inch of soft, scaly skin she could reach. Mystique's skin was such an experience for her. Her precognitive abilities were getting stronger all the time, and through them, she just _knew_ so many things without even having to try…but knowing just wasn't the same as actually _seeing_…actually _feeling_. It didn't make up for her lost sight, so she looked at the world through her fingertips as often as she could…and Mystique's wondrous body was a feast for the sensitive pads of her fingers…so gloriously unlike anything else the world had to offer.

For a long while, it was a palette of kissing, touching, and moaning, but then Destiny began to feel something changing. The body above her became harder, bulkier…and the sex she teased began to change from female to male. Mystique was still in her own blue form, but she was changing into a man.

"What are you doing?" she asked quietly, pressing a hand against the now flat chest in order to stop her.

"Just…doing it the right way," she said in a deeper voice, a look of uncertainty on her face.

"No. No, no, no," Destiny said soothingly. "There's nothing wrong with this. You know that. What about Charles and Erik?"

"Well…they've at least got the right equipment. I don't…know what to do for you…as a woman," Mystique said awkwardly, glancing away, even though she knew Destiny couldn't see her.

"It's okay," Destiny soothed, gently stroking her cheek. "I'll show you what to do. I _do_ have all of our future encounters at my disposal, after all."

"If that's…really what you want to do," Mystique said slowly as she melted back into her own body.

"It is. The first time we do this…I want to be with _you_…just you…no tricks. You're _beautiful_, Raven…just the way you are…and I'm afraid even _you_ don't believe that yet. I want to _show_ you," she said, pressing her lips to her lover's newly blossomed breasts. Mystique curled involuntarily against her, gasping at the sensation. Trembling, she gave herself over to Destiny's gentle, guiding hands.

It was the greatest ecstasy either of them had ever known.

XxX

Cerebro wasn't the only underground construct the construction tag team of Erik and Artemis managed to complete within the next few weeks. With Beast's help, they set up a complete medical facility for his use, and they expanded the pre-existing underground garage, creating a new space specifically for the new Blackbird, which Beast was already furiously at work on. The finishing touches were to reinforce the interior of the bunker with walls of steel. Having seen it work so well for Havok, Charles had expressed a desire to use the area for a more intense style of training. This was the reason he and Erik found themselves locked securely in the newly enhanced bunker early on a Saturday morning.

"Are you _sure_ you want to be doing this right now?" Erik asked him for the thousandth time. Charles had been throwing himself into the task of renovating the mansion ever since what Erik silently referred to as The Incident, and he wasn't sure his method of coping was very healthy.

"You're one to talk about healthy coping methods," Charles said coldly, eyeing him across the considerable distance between them, addressing what was in his head rather than what he'd spoken aloud. Erik chose to ignore the jab…mostly.

"You think I don't know that. You've just…been pushing yourself so hard. You might have a relapse. Your legs-"

"I'm not made of _glass_, Erik," he snipped at him. "It's been more than five months since Auschwitz. I'm needed, and I can't just fall to pieces whenever it suits me."

Erik wanted to push things further, but he knew he couldn't…because he couldn't broach the _reason_ why Charles was pushing himself so hard and risking a relapse of his decidedly serious injuries from the previous year. During the day, he was a machine, and at night, he clung to Erik, asking only that they not talk about it. When he'd suggested they try out this new playground of his, Erik had thought it might be a chance to talk, but the telepath clearly wasn't going to let that happen. Since Erik was adamant that Charles not test out Cerebro just yet, their only recourse was this new idea of his.

"What exactly did you mean when you said training?" Erik asked, letting the subject go.

"It's simple. I'm going to project a scenario into your mind and you're going to battle your way through it. Training. Hank's working on some new holographic technology for this space, but for now, _I'm_ going to be the operating mechanism."

"You're sure you're up for it?" Erik repeated, taking a defensive stance.

Rather than respond, Charles angrily jabbed his fingers against his temple and the room instantly faded from Erik's eyes. As happened to him in so many nightmares, he was facing a wall of Nazis, all armed to the teeth.

_The objective of this exercise is to defeat your opponents without killing them. Think you can handle that, dear?_

It was almost _too_ easy. Erik stripped down weapons, blocked bullets, blew gas grenades, touched every piece of metal he could sense. It was amazing, really. Consciously, he knew the metal he was feeling wasn't there, but he could feel it just the same; Charles' scenario was _that_ realistic.

Once he found the field empty of conscious soldiers, Erik turned his face to the cloudy grey sky of the battlefield.

"Is that all you've got, mein kleinen Lieben?"

It wasn't. Dear god in heaven, it really wasn't.

The next thing to appear on the blood-soaked field was Charles himself…only…his eyes shone with blue fire as he smirked mischievously at him. He would know that look anywhere.

Onslaught.

_No!_

"Charles…what are you doing?" he asked, his throat going dry in unconcealed terror.

_I'm not doing this. It's not me. Erik!_

"You don't fear anything, Erik Lehnsherr…and that's your problem," the spectre said to him

"That isn't true," he said, standing his ground as the nightmare walked toward him across the battlefield.

"Oh, no?"

"No," Erik said, trying to maintain his composure as he came to a stop before him. "Who _wouldn't_ be afraid of you?"

"Wise choice, Erik. He adores you, you know? Charles? You simply _can't_ comprehend it. It's sickening, really…to have to listen to all that _affection_ oozing from him every minute of every day. Can you imagine what would happen to him if you were to die?"

"I don't _have _to imagine. I was there. Remember?"

"Oh, yes. That last time. Of course, I do. _You_ were the one who chained me again. You should know…next time it happens…I'm going to _kill_ you."

_NO!_

"Really, I am. I can't allow you to imprison me again. So enjoy your time while it lasts. I assure you, it will be brief."

"I'll be ready for you," Erik said firmly, meeting Onslaught's burning gaze. "Don't think I'm just going to roll over and die for you…not when they need me…Charles and Raine."

"Ah, yes, your little drop of rain," Onslaught said, leaning in close to whisper in his ear, "I'll kill her, too."

_NOOOO!_

Charles' horrified voice thundered across the battlefield, shaking Erik to the core. The next moment, the world flickered and disappeared and Erik found himself back in the bunker, looking down at Charles, who was on his knees clutching his head.

"No! No, no, no, no, no!" he cried quietly over and over again as Erik ran to him, taking him gently in his arms.

"What happened?" Erik asked, cradling Charles close as he trembled. The cool attitude from earlier had completely vanished.

"I…I don't know. I don't…_think_ I meant to do that," Charles whispered. "I _couldn't_ have. I…I'm sorry…so sorry. He…might have _hurt_ you."

"Shh. We don't even know if it was really him," Erik soothed. "You need to stop this…running yourself into the ground like this. You'll make yourself sick all over again."

"But…we need to be _ready_," Charles insisted. "Shaw won't leave us in peace for long."

"That's true, but it's not going to help anyone to see you lose control like this. If you lose control…Onslaught wins. You need to _rest_."

"I've rested enough…too much," Charles said, half-heartedly attempting to push Erik away.

"No, you haven't. Not _nearly_ enough. You've been through Hell. It's not going to go away if you just ignore it."

"God, Erik, I…I don't know what to do. Everything seemed so clear before Cuba…but nothing makes sense anymore. I don't know what to do."

"I'm going to start by suggesting you take a nap," Erik said, keeping his voice even as he helped Charles to his feet. "A _long_ nap, followed by a hot shower. Then I'm going to make dinner tonight and you're not going to worry about anything else for the rest of the evening. Any questions?"

"You're not going to carry me upstairs again, are you?" Charles asked warily.

"If you cooperate, I won't have to," Erik said, his voice oddly cheery as he led Charles out of the bunker.

Charles sighed, knowing there was little point to arguing with his lover. Besides, after their little brush with the spectre of death, all he really _wanted_ to do was sleep. Really, _all_ he'd felt like doing since his memories awakened was sleeping, but he hadn't indulged himself. As he'd told Erik, he couldn't just fall apart…but…maybe…a little break wouldn't be so bad. He could sleep…maybe dream of their little Raine again.

"Ja," Erik said in response to the surge of warmth he felt from the telepath. "Unsere kleine Regen…"

_Our little raindrop…_

XxX

"_Adapt to __**this**__."_

_Before any of them can do anything, Shaw forces the ball of raw energy down Darwin's throat. The Hellfire Club vanishes with Angel…the others have gone…it's just him and Darwin now._

_For several minutes, he watches him try to adapt, shifting through many different phases…but he's ultimately unable to cope. As he begins to burn, Darwin reaches a hand toward him. He tries to speak…can't…but Alex knows the look in his eyes._

_**It's not your fault.**_

_It was the last look Luke gave him._

_He'd only known Darwin a short while, but they'd formed a friendship almost immediately. He reminded him so much of Luke. Now here he stands with the taste of his friend's **ashes** in his mouth, his own power the weapon Shaw had used to **murder** him._

_He should have known better._

_**You are responsible for his death.**_

"_I know," he murmurs, not caring where the accusing voice is coming from._

_**How many people have you killed? How many, Alex Summers? You killed your best friends. You might have killed your sister. Even Artemis…the girl you care for…almost joined the list of your slaughtered victims.**_

"_I know that," he hisses in pain as the complex fades away around him, leaving him in darkness._

_**You've no right to harbor such feelings for her…and yet here we stand. Why not…indulge in dreams a little?**_

_The next moment, he's back in his room at the mansion, on the bed, a warm body pinned to the sweat-soaked sheets beneath them. Artemis cries out his name as he thrusts gently into her. He feels her fingers digging into his back._

"_Uh…uh…Alex…yes…"_

_**No!**_

_He knows it's wrong…but he can't stop himself. He's known the taste of her now…and he **needs** more._

_**She wouldn't refuse you, you know?**_

_**She doesn't **_know_** any better,**__ he argues.__** She isn't ready!**_

_**But hear the way she moans for you. She **_longs_** for you. Why won't you take what she offers?**_

_**Shut up!**_

_The voice does go silent, but now he's alone with Artemis, no more able to stop himself than he had been before._

"_R-Rose," he groans, his body in ecstasy as he feels the slick heat of her against his skin. Harder…faster…**more!** _

_Artemis wraps her legs around his waist, squeezing with all the power of her strong thighs. Feeling his release approaching, he rides her all the harder._

_Suddenly, she gives a tiny scream and tightens around him. When he sees the look of release blossom on her face, he feels his own body tense…about to give_…and he woke up standing over her sleeping form.

_You want her,_ the voice from his nightmare lingered.

_Take her._

He almost did. He almost fell right on top of her, not caring how he'd gotten there or that she was asleep or that it would be outright _rape_. In that tiny moment, all he cared about was that she was there before him and he _wanted_ her.

However, as she'd told him many times, as he _knew_…she was a creature of instinct. Just when he was about to lose all control, she opened her eyes.

She didn't react at all. For a minute, she just stared up at him.

"Alex?" she whispered.

Unable to stop himself, he reached a hand down to stroke the side of her face. He felt her shudder against him, leaning into the touch as she closed her eyes.

"Rose…Rosie, I-"

No! This _wasn't right_. How the Hell had he even wound up in here? He'd never been a sleepwalker before. _How?_

Artemis sat up when he withdrew his hand. Briefly, she tried to reach a hand out to him, but then they both seemed to notice almost simultaneously.

He was hard…fully and painfully hard.

"Oh…oh, God…"

"Alex," she tried again, reaching for his hand. That was when he saw she wasn't alone in the bed. Pele was curled up just on the other side of her, sound asleep. He should have known, really. Artemis _hated_ sleeping alone.

"I…I'm sorry," he whispered, his throat tight with shame. "I didn't mean to-"

"Shh," she hushed him as she moved to her knees, coming up to his height. "It's okay."

With that, she pulled him to her, and brushed her lips lightly against his…frightened…but wanting.

"Please…" she whispered against his lips, but before she could say anything more, he accidentally brushed against her, sending an electric jolt through his entire body. He let out a small, strangled cry as he tore himself away from her.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, running his hands through his hair and breathing hard, trying to keep a hold of himself. "Please…don't tell the professor," he begged before bolting from the room.

He didn't know how far or how long he ran. When he finally came back to himself, he was out in the rain, curled up somewhere in one of the gardens.

How? Why? _Why_ had this happened? He had been so close to just throwing her down and…and…with Pele right there in the room. How the _Hell_ had this gotten so out of control? Maybe he really _should_ go back to prison. If he wasn't going to accidentally kill her…he could certainly end up _hurting_ her…if he let this escalate any further.

_What the Hell am I supposed to do?_

XxX

Back in the days when she'd been Moira, Destiny had been pleased to learn that the Xavier estate had a small shooting range, good for both archery and gun practice. Charles was already talking about moving the range equipment underground as part of the training regimen, but for now, she liked to use the place to calm her nerves. Before Emma had awakened her power, she'd been a very good marksman. Now she didn't have much need of that skill. She simply had to look into the future to know where to aim in order to hit her mark. She was here today because she knew Artemis needed to talk to her.

She was working with a bow and arrow when the wolf girl came to her late in the afternoon, looking torn.

"Have you ever shot a bow before?" she asked, even though she already knew the answer.

"No," she said, eyeing the weapon curiously.

"Well, come try it out. It's almost fitting…with your name," she said, holding the bow out to her. Artemis stared a moment longer before taking the bow.

"You'll need the wrist guard," Destiny told her, removing her own and securing it around the girl's left wrist before bringing her an arrow and showing her how to set it to the bowstring.

"Take your time aiming," the precog continued to coach, helping Artemis properly position her arms in order to draw back the arrow in preparation to fire. Most first-timers were weak and shaky with a bow, but Artemis was strong, and she was confident in that strength. She knew very well how to aim. In fact, it was not so different from aiming her power.

Her stance shook a little when she finally let the arrow fly, unaccustomed to the power behind the simple weapon. The offset at the start caused her shot to go a little wide, but she still managed to clip the very edge of the target. A smile of exhilaration lit her face at this and she turned back to Destiny.

"Thank you…for showing me this," she said, her enthusiasm draining slightly as she handed the bow back to Destiny. "But I guess you know…why I really came here today."

Destiny nodded. "I do…but I prefer to _hear_ you say it."

"Pele…told me you found out…about her family," Artemis said slowly.

"Yes. I've still got some connections."

"Do you think you could…find someone else?"

"Probably," she said, knowing Artemis would come to it eventually. "Who do you want me to find?"

"Haley Summers."

"For Havok," Destiny said quietly, pointing her blank gaze in Artemis' direction. The girl nodded once before remembering the precog couldn't see her and hastily added a 'yes.'

"He hasn't seen her…since it happened. She was still in a coma when they sentenced him. They never came to visit him. His parents turned against him," she said sadly.

"But you don't believe Haley did."

"No. From what I've heard…she loved him very much. I don't believe what happened would change that. I think the Summers' intentionally kept them apart. Alex is…he's suffering, Destiny. I want to do something for him…and I'm sure seeing her again would heal him most of all."

"But you can't know that," Destiny told her, trying to be firm.

"_You_ can, though. You don't have to tell me the truth. I know you can't. All I need from you is one answer…and I'll know if I'm right. Will you look for her or not?"

Destiny sighed, waiting several minutes before answering. "I'll look for her…and I'll find her. It'll be good for him…but you shouldn't let your guard down. There are other forces at work in this apart from Havok's feelings of guilt."

"What do you mean?" Artemis asked before she could stop herself.

Destiny shook her head, handing the bow back to Artemis. "You know I can't tell you that. Just be on your guard…and hold onto this, practice with it a little more. I think you'll get pretty good with it," she said with a small wink.

XxX

(A/N) Just some translation notes here. Mein kleinen Lieben = my little love. Unsere kleine Regen = Our little rain. (I'm not sure of the gendered endings of this sentence, being that Erik's talking about a baby girl, but if anyone happens to know, feel free to speak up.)

Hope the story's still working for everyone. Sorry I'm not focusing as much on Charles and Erik as I did in the last one, but I suppose I feel more of a need to build up the rest of the cast now. Don't worry, though. There's still plenty more of our boys to come.


	12. Something as True

(A/N) As always, m'dears, thank you for your continued patronage of my humble story. Yet another helping for you.

**How Do You Measure…**

_Chapter 12: Something as True_

"You got that radio working yet?" Wyngarde asked Selene, who was busy working with the set.

"Almost. I can hear them, but they're still breaking up. Maybe if I just…ah, here we are."

"Is this any better? Are you receiving?" Shaw's voice sounded clearly in the trailer.

"Yes, Sebastian, we're receiving you," Selene said, glancing at Wyngarde and inclining her head toward the radio set. The illusionist quickly came to join her.

"How's it going over there? I hear our Agent Stryker's getting a little impatient."

"So what else is new?" Selene muttered, rolling her eyes.

"Selene's working on a schematic of the grounds," Wyngarde reported. "Our little friends are quite busy over here. Several new underground installations have been built, but it may take a few more weeks to create a complete set of plans for them. Don't want to arouse Xavier's suspicion, after all."

"Good. Any sign of this little bundle of joy we've been hearing so much about?"

"Yes, actually. The precog, Destiny, seems to somehow be pregnant with Xavier and Lehnsherr's baby. I take it this is expected news?"

"Wait," Blindfold's voice suddenly sounded over the radio. "Who's Destiny? Who are you talking about?"

"Their precog. She's like you."

Blindfold sounded confused, an extremely rare occurrence. "I…I've never seen this woman before…not once…not even a _trace._How can that be?"

"Well…she's like you, so…perhaps it stands to reason that precogs can't _see_ each other, as such," Wyngarde speculated. "Like…perhaps they cancel each other out?"

"If that's the case, it would mean she can't see you either…which gives _us_ the advantage," Shaw said, the smirk on his face apparent in the tone of his voice.

"That theory would explain why I haven't been able to see how the children will be born. Until they are, they're a part of her…and completely invisible to me."

"Hold on a moment. _Children?_" Shaw interrupted her. "Plural?"

"Oh, sorry. Did I let that slip?" Blindfold asked in a deadpan sort of voice. "Yes, Xavier and Lehnsherr will father more than one child together. The one _you_ want is their first-born son."

"How many will there be?" Shaw asked, getting excited all over again.

"That…really depends on your definition of certain terms."

"In other words, you won't say."

"Just so."

"Jason, do they know this child's gender yet?" Shaw asked him.

"Yes, a baby girl. She's due in about six and a half months."

"Oh, well. Not the one we're waiting for…still…_any_ child of theirs could prove useful…either as a member or to use against them," Shaw mused, slowly coming to a decision. "When the Strykers _do_ launch their offensive, I want the two of you to bring Destiny to me. I'll have this child…even if I have to cut it out of her."

XxX

The morning of May 17th started off like any other in Charles' mind…until he rolled over in bed to smile at Erik, only to find him gone.

_Up early?_ He sent the call out into the mansion, seeking Erik's mind.

_Just a little. Been whipping up a little something,_ the thought came through loud and clear. He was nearby. So near, in fact, that the door swung open a few minutes later at the behest of Erik's power, admitting a tray-laden metal-kine.

"Look at you," Charles said, eyeing both the plate of sausage and blueberry pancakes _and_ his half-dressed lover appreciatively. "What's the occasion?"

"You don't know?" he asked, his eyes fairly sparking with mischief as he set the tray down on Charles' lap, picking up his cup of coffee from it before sitting down beside him.

"Obviously not."

"Verdammt. Mystique said you'd be dense, but I didn't think it'd be _this_ bad," he said, chuckling as he took a sip of the coffee.

"Come on, Erik. What's so important about today?"

Erik continued to smirk as he leaned over to him, pressing his lips against his. At first, the kiss was slow and gentle, but as the minutes passed, it became harder, more demanding, tracing a line of sensation directly from Charles' lips to his groin. When they finally came up for air, the telepath was left utterly breathless. The smirk still in place, Erik rested his forehead against Charles'.

"Happy birthday, mein Schatz," he whispered against his lips.

Charles jolted back, staring at Erik in shocked amazement.

"Is it really?" he asked, counting off the days in his head. Erik chuckled when he ended up answering his own question. "Yes…yes…I suppose it is. May 17th already. Heh, when did that happen?"

"Last night around midnight."

"Truly, Mr. Lehnsherr, your powers of observation astound me," Charles snipped back playfully before digging into the breakfast in bed.

"I think the kids are going to try baking a cake, so you might want to avoid the kitchen for a while," Erik warned, languidly sipping his drink as he watched Charles eat.

"That's fine. I'm perfectly content to spend the morning up here with you, being as that the lot of you probably aren't going to let me get any work done today."

"None whatsoever," Erik reassured him. "Today is all about you."

"Mystique got everyone in on this, I take it?" he asked.

"Something like that. I asked her about it about a month ago."

"I don't see why she would. She knows I don't like these big displays on my account."

"Well, maybe _you're_ so absent-minded you'll forget your own birthday, but the fact that you were born is important to some of us. So we'll have our big display if you don't mind."

"Thank you for that," Charles said, only half-sarcastic as he leaned over to kiss Erik's shoulder. Erik briefly nuzzled the top of his head before allowing him to finish his breakfast.

"So what do you want to do today?" Erik asked once he'd finished, picking up the tray and setting it down by the door.

"Oh, I can think of a few things," he said, the kiss from earlier still lingering in his body. It wouldn't take much to start it up again. "Staying in bed with you all morning, for instance…and I do mean _in bed_, Erik," he said, climbing to his knees at the edge of the bed and reaching out a hand to stroke his lover's hair.

"Are you sure you _want_ to?" Erik asked, his expression part hopeful and part nervous. They hadn't had sex since The Incident; Erik had been waiting for Charles to want to again.

"Yes," Charles said, smiling warmly at him, reaching for his hands and twining their fingers together, "Only…can we try something?"

"I'm listening."

Charles' smile turned devious as he leaned in close to whisper in his ear, "Let me be on top?"

Erik's eyebrows raised in interest as he looked down at the expression on the telepath's face. Already, he was halfway to being hard.

"Come on," Charles continued in a low, husky voice. "Let me show you what I can do."

"I like the sound of that," he finally managed to say. Sending out his power, he used it to gently draw all the curtains closed, giving them some measure of mood lighting. Still grinning, Charles pulled him onto the bed with him.

The nice thing about morning sex was that they were still mostly unclothed, Charles fully so and Erik clad only in a pair of sweatpants…which didn't take Charles very long to remove.

At first, Erik just lay still beneath Charles, letting him take the lead…feeling his hands and lips on his body…but soon, things just became too heated for him to keep still. After such a long abstinence, he just had to touch every inch of the telepath he could.

Grinning as he ravished him, Charles slowly moved out of his reach, moving down his body inch by inch, until he came to his swollen manhood.

He took the blow job slowly, starting off just kissing and sucking the tip before slowly moving further along, relishing both the moans he drew from Erik's lips and the thoughts swirling in his head.

"Nngh…nngh…"

_God…Charles…that…nngh…__**yes**__…_

Just when the metal-kine thought he couldn't take it anymore, Charles pulled back, leaving him panting as he rolled over to the nightstand to retrieve the Vaseline. As quick as he could, he moved back into position between Erik's legs, lathering his fingers up easily.

"Ready for this?" Charles asked quietly, his first two fingers already poised at the entrance.

Erik nodded, laying back and trying to relax, despite the intense sensations in his body.

It hurt at first…but what did that mean to him? He could take a little pain…and after several minutes of stretching, the pain started to become almost pleasant, leaving him nearly whimpering for more.

"Like it?" Charles asked as he withdrew yet again, taking a few hasty minutes to ready himself.

Erik nodded again, glancing down and watching in anticipation as he slicked himself. "Come on," he groaned. "Hurry it up."

Charles laughed quietly at his impatience. "If you insist," he said, helping Erik to hike up his legs as he positioned himself against him. "Just…try to relax," he urged, pushing in slowly.

Erik drew a shaky breath, feeling every inch as he was penetrated. The pain was gone…and in its place was a sense of being filled…full…complete.

Charles took several shuddering breaths of his own. This…this was better than _any_ woman he'd ever slept with. Erik was tighter…hotter…everything was just so much _more_. Briefly, his eyes rolled back into his head at the wonderful sensation. He hadn't even really begun to _move_ yet.

A true smile lit Erik's face upon receiving the thoughts from his head. When Charles glanced up at him, he could almost swear he saw tears in his eyes…and he knew they were reflected in his own. It was like the first time all over again.

"Come on," Erik urged yet again, his voice a whisper. "Move."

Charles did so, taking it slow at first, not wanting to overwhelm his lover…but a few thrusts in, he'd already found Erik's sweet spot. The first brush elicited a shocked gasp of pleasure as Erik's eyes flew wide open. Spurred on by the sounds he was making, Charles' succeeding thrusts only got harder.

"Ha…ha…hng…_Charles_," he moaned, panting like some animal in heat.

"Ist…gut?" the telepath grunted, feeling his body grow all the tenser as he worked.

"Ist…ist gut!" he cried out, feverishly gripping the blankets on either side of him. "So gut…ah…ja…Charles…uh…fick mich!"

""Ja…ja…" Charles moaned, gripping Erik's hips all the tighter as their minds and bodies swirled together on the bed.

"Nngh…ah…Charles!" he cried, unconsciously reaching for all the metal within easy reach and gripping it. "Ich…_Ich_…"

With that, his body went rigid and his release spurted onto Charles' stomach. The combination of Erik's tiny cry, the new warmth on his stomach, and the tightening of Erik's muscles around him drew his orgasm from him with a loud gasp.

Slumping over briefly, drawing heavy breaths, Charles looked down at Erik, who grinned up at him, sated and debauched. Slowly, he pulled out of him, pulling him into his arms as he lay down beside him.

"Das…this feels…gut," Erik murmured, barely managing to speak in English as he rested his forehead against Charles'. "Feeling…full."

"Heh, now you know how it feels."

"Can't say…I'd mind doing it…more often," he said slowly, gradually bringing himself back into English mode.

"Fine with me," Charles said, an odd look coming onto his face as he shifted slightly. Uncertain of what he was feeling, he sat up again, bouncing slightly on the mattress…only to find that it didn't bounce back as it usually did. Then he realized what had happened and began to laugh.

"What? What is it?"

"Erik, I…I think you broke the bed…literally," he said between gales of laughter.

"What do you mean?"

"The springs, you…it feels like you've melted them together. I thought I felt your power somewhere in the middle there, but I had no idea…hah! I wonder what else felt the power of your climax," he started, glancing absently around. Thankfully, many of his fixtures were made of wood. "I guess I'll be needing a new mattress."

"Charles, I'm sorry. I can fix-"

"Don't worry about it. I think I'll like being able to go around telling people that my lover and I actually broke the bloody bed. Though, I suppose this _does_ mean we won't get to spend the morning in bed," he said somewhat mournfully.

"No. You'll have to spend the day being showered with affection by your adoring wards. I can only imagine what a trial it will be," Erik retorted as he climbed out of bed, only a little sore and very sticky. "Before you're subjected to your ordeal by fire, though, I could certainly do with a shower."

"Now that I wouldn't mind," Charles said, following him out of bed like an eager puppy.

XxX

"Hey, Beast? Is Destiny in here?" Mystique asked as she entered Beast's new underground facility. Beast looked up from whatever he'd been working on, slightly flustered.

"No, she…she's already had her ultrasound for the day. Actually, I thought you'd be here. Where have you been all morning?"

"She didn't see fit to wake me up," Mystique said, turning to leave.

"Long night?" Beast found himself asking before he could stop himself.

"Excuse me?" Mystique asked, stopping in her tracks to look back at him. If he could still blush, she imagined he would have been a tomato right about now.

"Oh…I- I'm sorry. I…shouldn't have," he blustered, not quite able to believe he'd actually said it.

"It's okay," she said slowly, moving back toward him.

"I…it isn't…my place to say anything," he said, not looking at her.

"Probably not…but now it's been said," she said, trying to catch his eyes. She'd known they would have to come to this at some point, but she'd never had any desire to be the one to initiate it.

"Ra- M- Mystique," he switched halfway through when she gave him a warning look. "What…what _happened?_"

"I don't know," she answered honestly, resting a hand on his massive shoulder. "Maybe…we were just attracted to each other because we both had physical mutations when none of the others did, and that's…that's nothing to build a relationship on. Did you _hear_ yourself that night?" she asked as she slipped into the disguise she'd worn all her life.

"I'm sorry," he said, still not quite able to look at her.

"For what? Telling me what you really think of me…of yourself? You've spent your life hating yourself because someone else decided you didn't belong. I _know_ you don't believe me when I say I think you're beautiful. _Why_ do you need society to think you're beautiful?"

"I…I just…I don't know," he managed to get out, knowing that longing to be normal wouldn't cut it for her anymore.

"Maybe this disguise is beautiful to some people, but it isn't me…and there _is_ someone who thinks the real me is beautiful…every last inch of me…and that's all I need," she told him, shifting back into her own form. "There's someone out there, you know…someone who adores every bit of you…just because you're _you_. You just haven't found that someone yet."

"It's a nice thought," Beast said, slowly backing away from her, "but I don't see how _anyone's_ ever going to see past _this_. It's in the name, after all…Beast…"

"Don't go by that, then. Your name _is_ Hank, isn't it? Go with what you _want_."

"But…_you_ call me Beast…and you go by Mystique. What else would people think of this body?"

"You don't _have_ to let them define you. I go by Mystique because I _want_ to. I wanted to cut the ties with my old self. _This_ is who I am. If Beast isn't who you want to be, _you_ need to be the one to make that decision, not anyone else," she said, coming to him and giving him a reassuring peck on the cheek. "So who are you? Hank or Beast?"

"H-Hank…I think…if you don't mind," he said, finally meeting her gaze.

"Doesn't matter if _I_ mind," she said, giving him a light punch on the shoulder. "It's _your_ decision."

"I…think Destiny went out to the shooting range, if you wanted to try there."

"Of course," Mystique sighed, giving him a grin before turning to head out once again. "And her pregnant and all. Charles and Erik would never stand for it if they knew."

They weren't completely all right…she knew. They had hurt each other before…and Hank was still hurting…but they would get better. There was at least that much.

XxX

When Destiny first broached the subject of finding Haley Summers with Charles, He'd been hesitant, insisting they needed to remain anonymous…but she'd needled away at him, finally wearing him down with the question of how _he'd_ take it if he were forcibly separated from Mystique. That got him to agree to a short visit…under the condition that she be extremely careful about how she brought her to the mansion.

When she'd insisted she'd be going to New Jersey alone, both Charles and Erik had raised objections, understandably worried for the safety of their little girl, but she'd ultimately managed to quiet these fears, as well. She could take care of herself. Didn't they think she could protect Raine, too…when practically nothing escaped her notice? She was hardly even showing yet. The small swell in her stomach that was little Raine certainly wouldn't be noticeable to anyone who didn't already know about her.

It wasn't at all difficult to locate the younger Summers. Her resources easily turned up the information she needed and she went to the high school Haley was soon to graduate from one day late in May. She wasn't all that hard to spot in the crowd of students, either. The young woman was clearly Havok's little sister, with the same shock of blonde hair and the same Hell-raising blue eyes.

"Haley Summers?" Destiny called out to the girl as she passed by. Both Haley and the boy she was with turned to look at her. She'd worn sunglasses for the occasion, both to conceal her identity and her blindness.

"Yeah," Haley said, automatically taking a slightly defensive stance. "That's me. And _you_, Madam Sunglasses, wreak of law enforcement."

"Haley!" her brown-haired friend protested in shock.

"What? You don't grow up in my end of town and not know a cop when you see one."

"Former CIA," Destiny supplied. "So you're not totally wrong. My name is Irene Kinross."

"And…?"

"And Alex Summers is your older brother."

Hayley's eyes instantly narrowed at this. "What do you want?"

"Would you like to see him again?"

The look on Haley's face was a mix of suspicion, uncertainty, and hope. "Last we heard, some suits moved him. You know where he is?"

Destiny nodded. "He wants to see you."

As the hope started to rise above the suspicion and uncertainty, Haley slowly turned to look at the boy. "Chris…this might be my only chance to…can you cover for me?"

"I can," he started, wrapping an arm protectively around her shoulders, "but…Hale…we don't even _know_ this woman."

Haley laughed at this. "Come on, none of that. You know I can handle myself. Besides, does she _look_ threatening to you?"

"Remember the part where she said former CIA?"

"Fair enough," Haley considered, turning back to Destiny. "Whaddya say, Madam Irene Shades? Planning to kill me and dump my body off the highway?"

"I hadn't thought to, no," she answered casually.

"Good enough for me," Haley said, moving to stand beside her.

"You don't need your parents' permission?" Destiny asked, even though she already knew the answer.

"You kidding? They won't even notice I'm gone until Monday. Til then, I'm yours."

"In that case, I promise to have her back by then," Destiny reassured the boy.

"You'd better," he said warningly before coming to Haley and planting a kiss squarely on her lips, which she returned eagerly for a few moments before separating from him with an uncharacteristically gentle smile. "Make sure to get yourself back here."

"Don't even worry about it," she said to him before turning to follow Destiny.

Once they were far enough away, just to keep some conversation going, Destiny asked her, "So, that is…?"

"My boyfriend," she answered quickly. "Christopher Walker. We're gonna get married once we graduate."

"Really? You're not a bit…young for that?"

"No. See, he's going into the military and…things the way they are right now…he's probably going to be shipped out to 'nam. I keep telling him he shouldn't, but that boy just really loves his country. Won't even wait to be drafted. He only _just_ turned eighteen," Haley went on, seemingly unable to stop herself. She tried to act nonchalant…like the whole thing didn't bother her…but Destiny knew otherwise. The unshakeable Haley Summers was worried. She was able to tamp that down quickly enough, though, when she saw the car Destiny had come in: A red pagoda, the latest model from Mercedes-Benz. Not wholly able to keep the awe out of her voice, she said, "That…is a damn sweet ride."

"Yes, I suppose it is. Your brother's…benefactor doesn't skimp."

"Guess not," she murmured as she swung herself into the convertible.

"I should warn you right now, the drive's going to take a few hours," Destiny said as she climbed in and started the car.

"That's fine. Where are we headed?"

"New York."

"Awesome…I'm warning you, though…if this is somehow bogus-"

"No need for threats, Haley. It isn't bogus and I'm perfectly aware of the 'world of hurt' you're capable of unleashing on me," she said, using the words Haley would have. "In turn, I should warn you it wouldn't be just me you're unleashing it on. I'm expecting a baby in about six months."

"Oh," Haley started awkwardly, looking away from her. "Sorry."

"It's okay. In the meantime, let's talk about Alex."

XxX

Havok really didn't like being woken up early on Saturday mornings, but the enthusiasm with which Artemis had jumped onto his bed and insisted he come down to the kitchen was difficult to ignore. She'd barely allowed him to pull on a t-shirt before dragging him out of his room, grumbling all the way.

"What's going on? Did Erik make those strawberry pancakes of yours again?"

"No, no, no. Just wait until you see," the wolf girl said, unable to help giving a few joyful yips.

With Artemis' rushed pace, it didn't take them long to get down to the kitchen. For a fleeting moment before they entered, Havok thought he heard a familiar voice…but it _couldn't_ be…

Of course, he was proven wrong the moment they stepped into the kitchen. Charles, Erik, Destiny, and Mystique were all there, but seated at the table, blindfolded and pissed, was-

"Seriously, you guys, if he doesn't show up in the next five minutes, I'm kicking someone's ass!"

Havok said nothing as he approached her, not quite able to believe it. He'd thought he would never see her again. Slowly, he reached forward and pulled the blindfold off.

"Well it's about fucking-"

For a moment, they were both silent.

"Alex?"

"Hale."

Slowly, Haley stood from the chair…and socked her brother square in the jaw.

"Jesus, kiddo, what was that for?" he demanded, staring at her in mild shock.

"You don't get to call me that anymore," she snapped angrily, but looking like she might cry.

"You…just-"

"You idiot!" she shouted, flinging herself at him and wrapping her arms around him.

As he wrapped his own arms around her, he glanced around at the others, still a little in shock. Erik and Mystique were both having a good chuckle and Destiny and Charles were both smiling warmly…but Artemis' smile was the brightest of all.

"You did this," he said quietly, to which she nodded.

"It wasn't fair…that you couldn't see her."

"Is this…safe?" he asked Charles.

"We've taken precautions," he informed him.

"What? You mean that blindfold?" Haley asked, hesitantly releasing her brother. "I swear, man, I've been blindfolded all day and half the night."

"And you will be so again when you leave here," Charles said, his tone bordering on warning. "Unless you want me to erase your memory, of course."

"Hey, teach, nobody messes with _my_ head," she threatened right back.

"Uh…Hale," Havok tried to step in.

"Don't tempt me, Haley Summers. I understand you threatened the woman who's carrying my child. I promise you I'd need little more provocation than that," he said, his tone even, but his eyes warning.

"I think…we'd better leave them to it. They've got a lot of catching up to do," Mystique said, starting to usher the others out of the room. Artemis lingered the longest, but she did eventually follow.

"So…you're okay?" he asked her after several more silent minutes.

"Yeah. It had only been over about a week when I woke up. I wanted to see you, but…the bastards wouldn't let me. I'm sorry."

"Y'know…this would almost be easier if you hated me. You really could have…_died_ that night," he said, sitting down at the table.

"I didn't," she said matter-of-factly, sitting down beside him. "Not that easy to get rid of me…and I'm doing all right for myself. I got your old job after you got pinched."

"_What?_" Havok demanded, his head snapping up.

"Hey, it's a job."

"I…I didn't want that for you. Why do you think I did it in the first place?"

"Well, old Smith realized I was perfect for the job. Who's more perfect? Men can be so stupid, after all. They never suspect women."

"I _know_ I can't tell you not to do it, so…guess all I can say is…be careful," he said, resting a hand on her knee.

"Don't even worry about it. No one's gonna get the drop on Alex Summers' little sister, especially with a fiancé about to join the military."

"Hold it," he started, his grip tightening instantly. "Did you just say…_fiancé_?"

"Yeah, and don't even give me any of that. I'm gonna get enough of it from Mom and Dad when I tell 'em. Besides, that's a pretty high and mighty tone coming from a cradle robber."

"What?"

"Come off it, man, I saw the way you and that Artemis kid were looking at each other. How old is she? Twelve?"

"Fifteen in two weeks," Havok defended. "Anyway…it isn't like that. We're not…"

"Oh, you'll get there," Haley said, giving him a small punch in the shoulder. "I can almost guarantee it…tradin' looks like _that_."

"Shut up," he said, wanting nothing more than to drop the subject, especially since his thoughts and his dreams were so consumed with Artemis of late. "So who's this fiancé kid?"

"Since you're supposed to be staying under the radar, I guess I don't have to worry about you going after him. It's Chris Walker."

"Seriously? That goody good kid? You're _dating him?_"

"Hey! He's not that bad."

"How do you know he won't turn you over? If he's gonna be in the military-"

"Don't do that, Alex. Don't you think I have better judgment than that? Chris is my best friend…and he loves me…and I'm gonna marry him because it probably won't be too long before they ship him overseas. D'you get that?

"Yeah," Havok finally surrendered.

"Besides…they told me what happened…what's going on…most of it, anyway. You're kinda like a soldier yourself, aren't you?" she said, offering him a wry smile.

"Well…yeah…I guess I am," he said. He'd never really thought of it like that before…and…even though he certainly wouldn't admit it…maybe it made him feel a little better about things.

XxX

Haley's weekend visit went well. Except knowing they were in New York, she didn't know their exact location, and it would be kept that way for everyone's safety. Before Destiny drove her back on Sunday, Charles gave her a telephone number, telling her she could keep in touch with Havok, and to call if she was ever in trouble or if anyone came around asking about them. It was only a few nights after that that Charles and Erik found themselves back in Charles' study with glasses of wine in hand and a chessboard between them. With everything that had been happening, it was rare they just got to sit down and enjoy a game like they'd been able to in the days before Cuba.

"What are you thinking about?" Erik finally asked the other man. He'd been getting vague senses of confusion and anxiety from him all week, but Charles would not share his thoughts with him, so the time had finally come to just have it out.

"Erik…something…something's wrong," Charles said after several minutes of contemplation.

"What do you mean?"

"Every night…Havok…he has horrible nightmares…and he dreams of Artemis," he said, the look in his eyes telling the metal-kine exactly what _kinds_ of dreams those were.

"Well…it's not unusual for young men to have dreams like that…and we've all got our nightmares to deal with. You've seen them all before."

"While it's true I can't really shut them out completely…this is different. I sense…something _hunting_ him…something set against him…" he said, not even really sure what he meant.

"Like…another mutant…another telepath?" Erik suggested.

"Maybe…I don't really know. It's hard to focus…with the voices so loud at night…and then there's _nothing_ during the day. It's starting to happen to Artemis, too. She has nightmares about her parents…and she dreams about Havok. There've been…several near misses."

"Misses?"

"They're…compelled to come to each other…at night. Many times…they've almost…but they somehow manage to stop themselves every time. If it was simple teenage lust, I don't think it would be as great a cross as it is, but…something's _forcing_ them. I don't know what it is…but it's _hurting_ them, Erik. It's _hurting_ the children…and I'm afraid it might happen to the others…to _you_. I don't know what I can do to stop it."

Erik quickly came around the board and crouched beside the telepath, pulling him into his arms. Charles rested his head gratefully against his shoulder.

"Don't be afraid, mein Lieben. We'll figure this out. We'll stop whatever's hurting them."

"I'm just…so afraid something's about to happen…and there's nothing I can do to stop it," Charles whispered into the black cloth of his shirt as he closed his eyes, breathing in his musky scent to calm his nerves. Known threats were something he could deal with, but this…this was something unknown…setting itself against them from the darkness in their own minds. If whatever this was had a mind to…it could easily bring them all to their knees.

"Don't be afraid," Erik soothed once again, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "I won't let anything hurt us…or you…or our daughter. I promised I would protect you. We'll get through this…together."

"You're very brave, my love," Charles said softly, "but I don't know if even _you_ can protect us from whatever this is."

"I can damn well _try_, Charles. _We_ can do this. Together there's _nothing_ we can't do."

_If only I could believe that…_

XxX

(A/N) Some notes for ya.

Yeah, I have no idea when Charles' birthday is, so I kinda just picked a date and ran with it.

Translations: Well…I hope their bedroom talk spoke for itself.

Haley and Chris…yeah, guess whose parents we just met.

Until next we meet, dear friends, adieu.


	13. Time Dies

(A/N) Ooh, lots of reviews last chapter. Maybe we can do the same again…

**How Do You Measure…**

_Chapter 13: Time Dies_

_She can't let this happen…she has to stop it. She can't let him hurt Mom._

"_Stop it!" she screams as her power comes into focus. "Stop it! **Stop it! STOP IT! **Don't hurt my mom!"_

_Finally, he backs away from her, the knife slipping from his grip as he struggles for breath. Briefly, she feels relief, but she knows she can't let him go. He still might kill her. _

_She presses harder._

_His hands scrabble at his chest as he collapses to his knees. For a moment, he tries to grab at the knife, but she squeezes harder and he can feel nothing else but the pain. He screams in agony as he crawls toward her. God, she's doing her best. Why won't he just **stop?**_

_He tries to grab her…can't. He glares fiercely at her…with so much **hate** in his eyes…her own father._

"_Monster!" he spits in her face._

_A sob tears loose from her throat as she gives the final squeeze, feeling the heart muscle burst within his chest. The final spray of blood he coughs up lands on her hands, sticky and warm._

_**Monster…murderer…**_

_As the insistent voice hisses to her, she falls back, curling in on herself, no longer a child, but a young woman…and it isn't her father on the floor anymore._

_It's Alex._

"_**NOOO!**" she screams in anguish, trying to crawl to him, but unable to reach him. How did this happen? She **can't** have done this._

_**But you did. You're a monster…just what he said…a murderer.**_

"_No…no…" she whispers, uncomprehending. "I wouldn't…kill him. I…he's my…"_

_**Your what? Your **_mate? _**Did you ever stop to think about the fact that maybe he doesn't **_want_** you? Maybe that's why you killed him? Because you couldn't have him for yourself. Well, my dear…have him.**_

_Instantly, the nightmare shifts gears. Alex isn't dead anymore…he's pressed up against her body…and she's pinned to the wall of her shower, panting desperately as he moves in her. _

"_Ha…Rosie…Rosie…" he groans with every movement of his hips, filling the emptiness inside of her each time. Unable to help it, she moans back, leaving the imprint of his precious name against the warm, damp skin of his neck._

"_Nngh…please…don't stop," she begs, **needing** more of him, even though she **knows** he doesn't want this…knows he wants them to wait. She just can't help it. Something deep inside her is growing tighter…getting ready to burst…if it doesn't, she will surely die._

"_Almost…__**there!**__" he hisses, pushing deep as his entire body tenses. His scent washes over her and she can sense the moment she's filled with his essence. Her body tightens around him, moving toward its final completion…_and she suddenly found herself standing just outside his door…her hand on the doorknob.

"No," she whispered, tears in her eyes as she slid to the floor, still clutching the doorknob.

It was happening again. This was the fourth time in the past month she'd found herself here…and he'd come to her at least six times. Somehow, they always managed to stop, but it was getting worse. Last time, he'd actually gotten her undressed and had her pinned down before coming to. It hadn't been like he was sleepwalking…more that he was in some sort of trance…and he'd told her she was the same when she came to him. This time, though, she'd somehow managed to stop it before anything got started. At least she'd managed to spare him a little more pain. Only, now she couldn't seem to move from where she knelt, helplessly clutching the ornate doorknob.

They were both too ashamed to tell the professor about it…even though they were both pretty confident he knew. Really, how could he not? By extension, Erik would know. Destiny knew, of course, but they both knew she couldn't do anything about it. The only other person who knew was Pele, privy to Artemis' disappearances and Alex's appearances. She'd never actually said anything, but it was her who approached the wolf girl now…laying a firm hand on her shoulder.

"Back again, huh?" she whispered.

Artemis nodded, not looking at her.

For a long while, Pele said nothing…just sat down beside her and rubbed her shoulder while she cried quietly.

"Why do you want it so bad?" she finally made herself ask. "Why does…_anyone_…want sex? It hurts…it fucking _hurts_," she whispered. "Why is everyone so hung up on it?"

"Because it's not…all pain," Artemis sniffled. "I know you've been hurt…but I've also seen it be beautiful. It creates pleasure…and it makes…life. I also know it makes Erik and the Professor happy. They do it all the time."

"How do you know?"

"I can smell it on them."

"There's a scent?" Pele asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Absolutely," she answered, glancing over at her. "There's a scent for everything…and I've learned many of them."

"Still…how do you _know_ it won't hurt?" Pele continued to press.

"I don't…but I want to trust him. I just…I _know_ something's wrong here…but I don't know what it _is_."

Even without her telepathy, Pele knew she was right. Wanting was certainly normal, but to be so out of control like this…something was wrong.

"Maybe the two of you ought to talk to Charles?"

"What…what would he say, though? He told me to wait…and here I am like a pup with no manners. He would be ashamed of me."

"No, he wouldn't. You know that. He would figure out a way to help you."

"Maybe…maybe you're right," Artemis said, hastily wiping the tears from her face as she got to her feet.

"Of course I'm right," Pele said, her tone mock smug as she took the wolf girl by the hand. "Let's get back to bed. We'll talk to Charles in the morning."

Neither of them could have known that morning would already be too late.

XxX

It's different this time. Havok _knows_ he's awake, but he still feels that ungovernable force driving him toward Artemis. He wakes the moment he hears her voice outside his door, and even though he tries so hard not to, he crawls from the bed and to the door, knowing she's just on the other side.

He holds himself in check while the two girls talk. It's when they leave that his control begins to fail him.

_She's leaving. She __**can't**__ leave! She's __**mine!**_

_Good, you're ready now,_ the voice from his dreams coaxes. _Go get her._

He has no idea how much of a head start they have on him, but he strides purposefully after them, ultimately not overtaking them in the corridor. He comes to her room, throwing the door open with a loud bang. The two girls haven't even made it to the bed yet.

Artemis looks up a moment before the door smashes open, sensing the intent pursuing them. She means to resist, but the moment her eyes meet his, coherent thought leaves her. She knows exactly what he wants…and she wants it, too. Once again, her body grows hot and prickly…_aching_ to be touched. He _must_ touch her. She lets out a low whine, begging him to come to her.

For a moment, he just stares at her, relishing the fact that she's offering herself to him completely…no restraints. Then she lays down on the bed, legs parted…inviting him to join with her. What little control he still possesses slips at this and he pounces on her, growling possessively as he ravishes her neck.

Pele would certainly never admit to being terrified, but there was little else to describe what she'd felt when the two teens lost control. She _knew_ there was something else in the room with them, but she was of little help without her powers. God, what she wouldn't give for them now.

_Charles!_ She screamed as loud as she could in her mind, praying he would hear. If she had to leave to get him, it would be too late. _Help! Artemis and Havok, they're – something's happening. __**Please**__ help!_

Not two minutes after she'd sent out the call, Charles and Erik came flying into the room. Perhaps Charles had already heard?

"Verdammt!" Erik hissed. Quickly, he moved toward the bed, intent on pulling Havok off of Artemis.

"Erik, wait-" Charles tried to warn him.

Without even taking her attention away from Havok, Artemis' hand flew up and Erik immediately felt something in his chest tighten. He fell to his knees, gasping in pain.

"Erik!" Charles cried out.

Fortunately, she couldn't stay focused on him long enough to actually kill him…not with Havok tearing open her nightgown. It wasn't long before she was back to clawing at his shoulders, dragging deep furrows through the skin and drawing blood. Even this didn't deter him. Her clothing was soon in pieces.

_What can we do?_ Erik's voice sounded in Charles' head. _If we let this happen, they're both going to hate themselves forever, and either one of them could kill us a hundred times over in this state._

_I don't know,_ Charles responded, working feverishly to establish a connection to each mind present. For some reason, he couldn't touch Havok and Artemis. Their minds were gone far beyond his reach. Instead, he was faced with a solid wall…another conscience entirely. _This_ was the being that was attacking his students.

_Leave these children alone!_ He ordered fiercely. _They've done __**nothing**__ to deserve this!_

The foreign entity made no response. Havok and Artemis simply continued their frenzied activities on the bed. They could hardly stand to be apart from one another, so Havok was still partly clothed, but it wouldn't be much longer…before they both did something they would regret.

Not knowing what else to do, Charles directed a psychic attack at the entity. _Stop this!_ He ground out, lancing his power into the unseen enemy. He didn't see it, but Artemis seemed to come awake for a moment.

"Alex…no…stop…we can't…do this…ah…_please_…take me!"

Taking her brief lapse into coherency as an invitation to intervene, Erik tried to step in again. Artemis made no move to stop him. This time it was Havok who looked up at him. His hands still roved Artemis' body, but Erik could see the beginnings of a blast forming.

"She's mine. No one will take her from me," he growled, any sense of humanity in his eyes long gone. "Leave us alone. We don't need you."

Raising his hands in surrender, Erik took several steps back. If Havok fired off a shot now, he might accidentally harm Artemis…

…and maybe he could _use_ that. After all, what else in the world could stop _him_ from doing something, but that it might hurt Charles? Maybe…Havok could be persuaded with the same logic.

"Unh…Alex…" Artemis cried out. He had no idea if she was panting or crying.

"Havok," he started while he still had the boy's attention. "Look what you're doing. You're _hurting_ her. If you fire at me, you might harm Artemis. You don't want that, do you?"

At this, Havok looked torn. The animalistic fire in his eyes began to flicker as he looked down at Artemis.

"R…Rose," he whispered, hardly daring to breathe her name.

The expression on her face was also torn as she reached up a hand to touch his face. "Alex…Alex…he can't…make us do this. We have…to decide…"

"Oh…Rose…" he whispered again, finally seeing what they'd almost done. With that, he simply collapsed on top of her. They were both stark naked, but there was nothing sexual about it anymore. They just held each other close as they cried quietly together.

_You see?_ Charles announced triumphantly to the invisible assailant. _You can't touch them. Their feelings for each other are stronger than your influence. Leave this place._

_Maybe I can't play with these children anymore,_ the unseen conscience sneered, addressing him for the first time, _but I can still have a little fun with this one._

On instinct, Charles turned to look at Pele. She could shield, certainly, but not against a surprise attack…and she couldn't see it coming.

"Look out!" he tried to warn her, throwing up a hasty shield around her mind. But their enemy easily broke through it, pulling both Charles and Pele into his trap.

"Charles!"

The telepath thought he heard Erik cry out, but he couldn't be sure. His consciousness was lost somewhere in the boundaries of Pele's mind…and their attacker had gotten through to her. Who could say how long he would be trapped here in darkness before he could help her…maybe never.

Before he could read too heavily into this thought, though, he began to emerge into a vision. The day was gloomy…it was pouring rain and he found himself just outside the gates of a graveyard. Standing inside, before a line of freshly-dug graves, soaking wet in a black funeral dress…was Pele.

"Pele! Look over here, Pele!" he shouted. She gave no sign she'd even heard him. "Listen to me! If you don't fight back, this thing's going to eat your mind! You _have_ to wake up!"

Before he could even attempt to get through the gate, though, he was interrupted.

"It's no use," a voice came from somewhere beside him. "That child…will never move again."

Looking off to the side, Charles saw Pele sitting on a stump…or at least, it was an approximation of Pele. The eyes were different…it was always the eyes.

"You're the mind eater," he said quietly, to which the eerie Pele duplicate nodded, smiling lopsidedly.

"Do you see those graves there?" it asked, nodding at the row. "Her mother and father…the members of your own group that cared for her…her powers were the cause of _all_ their deaths. She's been granted a great power, but her heart fears the use of it."

"Iolana?" Charles whispered, gazing at the frozen girl through the bars of the gate. He had no idea how long he'd been stuck in limbo while this creature wreaked havoc on the girl's fragile psyche, but from the looks of things, it had given her a real working over. Perhaps it had even been eating away at her while it preyed on Artemis and Havok. Whatever the case, this was the heart of the young telepath's fears…her mutation was the direct cause of her father's death. She was haunted by the question of…what if it happened again?

"I can hear her," the creature hissed, mocking. "_If only I didn't have this power._ Lonliness…fear…anxiety…and more than anything, _power_. She'll do nicely."

"Shut up!" Charles snarled at the doppelganger. "I didn't come here to listen to you lecture. I'm taking her back with me."

The double only sneered. "You didn't _mean_ to come here at all. You were trapped in my attack. For all you know, you may _never_ leave."

Shutting the creature out, Charles turned his attention back to the gates. Pele hadn't stirred an inch.

"Iolana! Iolana, can you hear me?" he called to her. He tried to open the gate, but it wouldn't budge. It was the manifestation of her fear…and her hatred of herself. "There's nothing wrong with being afraid…but keeping those fears to yourself won't solve anything," he said, speaking just as much to himself as to her.

"Keep your mouth _shut_," the doppelganger hissed in his ear. Suddenly, it seemed the creature was everywhere, all around him. Once again, he began to feel the cold and the darkness of the void. Fighting desperately against it, he grasped the wrought iron bars to keep himself grounded, reaching a hand out to Pele.

"Iolana, listen! You _don't_ have to be afraid of your power! You _have_ to fight back! You're not alone in this world! I'm here for you. Erik is, too, and all the others. We'll be by your side!"

Pele blinked several times, slowly glancing in his direction…as if she'd heard him, but couldn't quite see him.

"Ch-Charles?" she whispered in confusion.

"_Shut up!_" the creature shouted before Charles could say anything more, digging psychic claws into his bared mind. He couldn't stop the scream of pain that followed.

"_NO!_" Pele shouted, finally seeing what was happening. "Don't take Charles away!"

As the entity's mind closed in around the fading telepath, he briefly beheld a brilliant flash of light bursting forth from the little girl, shattering the darkness consuming him.

Then there was nothing.

XxX

"Was that really necessary?" Selene asked when she and Wyngarde came to in their trailer.

Every time the illusionist went on one of his assaults, Selene was connected to him in order to gather information from their targets. Selene's telepathic capabilities were limited, but they were enough for the task when she was connected to Wyngarde. They had both decided that tonight really had to be the last time. The plan couldn't move forward without the information they were gathering and people were starting to get impatient on all sides. The plan had been meant to include only the two teenagers, but then Wyngarde just hadn't been able to resist going after Pele.

"No…but allow me my fun. Telepaths are _so_ much fun to screw with. Did we get it all?" he asked, going to grab a bottle of wine to celebrate, confident in the answer.

"Yes. We've got what we came for. We can finally get away from this cursed trailer. But…Jason…what happened there…at the end?"

"I'm not entirely sure," he said as he poured the alcohol. "Whatever it was, it seemed to come from the girl. In casting _me_ out, though…she may have trapped Xavier," he mused.

"How do you mean?" she asked, coming to take her glass from him.

"I was in the process of ensnaring him in the borders of her mind. He couldn't risk fighting back, of course, as it might have caused permanent damage to _her_. I didn't see what she did at the end there…but I don't think it bodes well for him. Either way, Charles Xavier has enough demons in his head to contend with _without_ help from me. I'm just as content to leave him to it."

XxX

When Pele came to, she found herself cradled in Destiny's arms.

"W-what…"

"You guys! You guys, she's waking up!" the precog alerted the others. Glancing around slowly, Pele could see that all the others had been summoned by the commotion. When she saw Erik on his knees with Charles' limp body in his arms, she suddenly remembered.

"Charles!" she shouted, jumping to her feet and running to them. Charles was as still and pale as death.

"He won't wake up," Erik said, trying hard to keep himself in check. "You two have been out for almost twenty minutes. What happened?"

"I…I don't know. Whatever that thing was…it almost had me…but then Charles was there, and I threw it back. I…I don't…_know_ what's happened to him."

"The block he placed on you…did you break it?" Erik asked, hovering on the edge of his control.

"I don't…I'm not…" she mumbled, trying feverishly to establish a connection with the older telepath's mind. Nothing. It was no use. The links that had once connected her to other minds were still neatly, devastatingly severed. She couldn't touch the professor at all.

"God _dammit_, Charles! Wake up!" she cried, weakly punching his shoulder.

_You can't be like this because of me. You __**can't!**_

"Please wake up! _Please!_"

XxX

_For the longest time, he knows nothing. He's drifting down through the darkness…just floating…ever downward. There's no cold or heat or pain or joy, just…the vague sensation of floating down._

_When he finally comes to rest, it's in a pair of arms. They catch him and wrap themselves gently around him, securing him against someone's chest. A pair of lips presses against his ear and a familiar voice whispers, "Welcome, my dear Charles. Welcome to my prison."_

"_No," he says slowly, the word slurred…as if he's been drugged. "God, no."_

"_Well," Onslaught continues, a little louder now, "with precious little Pele needing so desperately to protect you from the threat…what place did she know of more secure than the prison she'd created for me herself?"_

"_And there's no escape," he says quietly, not asking…knowing._

"_None. At least…none you could attempt from within the cage. Then you run the risk of setting me free…and I know you don't want that," his other says, his voice low as he runs a finger down the side of his face. "And until you decide you want to join with me and leave this place together…or your friends find some other way…you belong to **me**."_

_His breath shaky and heavy with fear over his plight, Charles slowly turns in Onslaught's embrace, meeting his burning gaze._

"_Then…if it comes to that…I'll stay here with you…forever."_

"_Trapped inside your own mind? You'll go ma-ad," the other him warns him in a singsong sort of voice._

"_Then so be it. I…**will not**…let you escape."_

"_Oh, my Charles…you're so naïve. I haven't even **begun** to persuade you."_

XxX

It had been only one day and already Erik was going crazy.

Hank had Charles hooked up to several machines in his diagnostic ward. Brain activity was surging, but no signs of consciousness. Erik could only shudder to think what that brain activity meant…what sorts of things Onslaught could torture Charles with in the time they were taking to work through this.

No one had any guesses as to what had happened or how to undo it. Hank was working round the clock to find a medical solution, even though they all knew there wasn't one. Pele was working just as hard to break the barriers Charles had set up in her mind. At this point, she felt certain only a telepath could retrieve him without damage to the delicate balance of his mind. No matter what she tried, though, she couldn't seem to awaken her sleeping power…and Erik was getting more frustrated by the minute.

Currently, he was pacing the ward while Hank worked the machines and Destiny sat in a chair beside Charles. Mystique and Banshee were with Artemis and Havok, who were both still recovering from their own ordeal.

"Erik, you really ought to rest. Tearing yourself apart isn't going to help him…and it makes Pele feel even worse."

"Maybe she ought to," he said, unable to help growling. "Maybe it'll make her work faster."

"She's doing the best she can."

"Urgh…I know. I know," Erik said with a sigh. "I don't mean to…it's just…we need another telepath. No one else is going to get through to him in this state…and then Pele's saying we can't risk Onslaught escaping. I'm almost willing to go talk to fucking _Frost_!"

"That won't be necessary."

"Won't it?" he asked, hating himself for even making the suggestion…the very woman who had _raped_ Charles. "We're just about out of options here, unless you just happen to know some other telepaths."

"I know _every_ telepath, Erik, but that's beside the point. My point is that you've already got a telepath with the necessary strength for the task at hand and it isn't me."

Once again, Erik sighed in exasperation. "I don't know if you've noticed, but he's unconscious just now. Otherwise, I'm sure he'd be _glad_ to help."

"That's not…entirely what I meant," Destiny said as she stood from her chair, a hand coming to rest tenderly against her swelling stomach.

XxX

(A/N) Yeah, yeah, I'm really gonna leave you there. Sorry, I just couldn't help myself. Plus, this chapter ended up being a whole lot different than I thought it'd be. Either way, I hope it's all still working for everyone. See you all in another couple of days, I imagine. Til then, I shall leave the goings on in your capable imaginations.


	14. Burn the Past to the Ground

(A/N) Thank you alls for the lovely reviews. Here's you yet another chapter.

**How Do You Measure…**

_Chapter 14: Burn the Past to the Ground_

For several minutes, Erik just stared at Destiny, not sure he was understanding her correctly.

"Are you telling me…our daughter's a telepath?"

"That's exactly what I'm telling you. Mystique was hoping Charles would notice on his own, but…well…I knew it would come to this."

"Of _course_ you did," Erik growled, rubbing his temples in frustration. Sometimes it was very hard not to get angry with Destiny. "So what are you suggesting we do, exactly? There's no way her abilities have developed nearly enough for something like this."

"They may not have to be," Hank began to theorize as he moved to join them. "Perhaps all we need…is a connection…and Charles _is_ her father. Maybe she'll help?"

"She's negative five months old, though," Erik reminded them, worried for his daughter just as much as his lover. "How can we get her to understand?"

"That's where _you_ come in," Destiny said. "Try resting your head against my stomach."

"Excuse me?"

"Her range is weak right now…not fully developed. She needs you to be close. You'll hear her, Erik. I promise. I hear her pretty much constantly."

Feeling only a little uncertain, Erik knelt before Destiny and laid his head against her stomach. He hated the position…but he couldn't deny that he wanted to hear his little girl.

"Open your mind to her," Destiny coached. "You know how to do it."

It didn't take long at all. Within moments, his mind was flooded with sensation. It wasn't so much thought he was receiving as feelings.

_Warmth…contentment…safety…_

_Love…_

That hadn't been her; it was all him. His heart was so full of love for her in that moment, he was fairly bursting with it. This precious creature…who knew no hate or pain…was so innocent…and she was _his_. She had come from him…so there must have been something good in him, too.

_I love you…Ich liebe dich…Lieben…my girl…my little raindrop._

_Love…_

Raine took his emotions in with a flare of joy. She liked this new thing…this thing called love.

"Meine Raine…" he breathed quietly against Destiny's stomach, nearly forgetting there was anyone else there but him and his daughter.

_Do you want __**more**__ love, mein Liebling?_

XxX

Mystique wasn't quite sure she'd call this a suicide watch. That term was a little too extreme for her current job description. It was almost like babysitting…keep an eye on things and make sure nobody gets hurt.

Havok and Artemis weren't making things too difficult. They were actually handling themselves pretty well, all things considered. The group was camped out in the living room, waiting for news, and the two of them just sat together, holding hands with their heads resting comfortably together. An easy silence lay between them now, instead of the awkward, ashamed, painful half-silence that had been there the past few weeks. Given time, the two of them were probably going to be all right.

Pele was the one who needed to be watched. She was beating herself up horribly over what had happened, even though that guilt wasn't all visible on the surface, Pele being Pele. She was sitting off on her own in meditation, trying desperately to break Charles' barriers. Nothing seemed to work, though. She remained as trapped in her own head as she had been for the past seven months, for which she felt somewhat cheated. After all, he'd promised her she'd be able to break the bonds if she really needed to. Well…her need had never been greater. Where was her great power when she needed it the most?

_Damn you, Charles! Damn you!_ She railed at the gaping void that was usually his vibrant presence. _I'm __**less**__ than useless!_

"Hey, kiddo," Banshee was suddenly behind her, wrapping his arms around her middle and yanking her out of her meditative pose. "You ought to take a break before you knock a screw loose in the attic."

"Damn it, Banshee! Put me down!" she ordered, her words having somewhat less of an impact when she was held securely in the crook of the redhead's arm.

"Nope. Don't think so. You're making me depressed, sittin' over there by your lonesome. We gotta do something about this."

"What else am I supposed to do? I _need_ my power. I _have_ to help Charles."

"Why?" Mystique asked as Banshee sat back down on the couch with her, holding the eight-year-old down.

"What?" Pele asked after several moments of confused silence.

"Why?" Mystique repeated, holding her gaze. "Why do you _have_ to help my brother? I was under the impression you thought he was weak and naïve. You helped to _torture_ him…and in a way, he's keeping you prisoner here, denying you your birthright. _Why_ do you _have_ to help him?"

"Mystique…don't-" Artemis tried to step in.

"No," Pele stopped her. "She asked…she wants to know. I can understand you…holding a grudge against me. I _did_ hurt him. I hurt him very badly. I tortured him…I made him think I'd killed Erik…and I woke Onslaught. I was almost the reason he surrendered himself to Shaw. By rights, you all should have left me to die. But _he_ never would have. Even after everything I did…he and Erik still saved my life. Once I would have called it weak…to be unable to kill an enemy…but _no one_ could call Charles Xavier weak…after what he's lived through. He should be like me and Erik…bitter…angry at the world, but he isn't. Even after _all that_…he still helped me, and he still protected me last night. I'm the _reason_ he's like this. How can I _not_ try to help him?"

"You shouldn't blame yourself," Artemis said quietly. "He would have done the same for any of us."

"Be that as it may, I'm not 'any of us.' I could have been useful…I could have defended myself…except for his stupid sense of nobility in thinking he needed to save me from myself. He shouldn't have to suffer for that."

"And it doesn't make you angry? What he did to you?" Mystique continued to press.

"I agreed to it. You don't know what it's like," she continued slowly, an odd look coming into her eyes. "Never being alone in your own head. You _can't_ shut it out…not completely. There are billions of people on this planet…and everyone's so _loud_. You _can't_ be innocent…ever again. Most telepaths you meet are unbearably cynical, just like me…but he's somehow better than that. He survived it all…and he can still love. He prefers to focus on the good instead of the bad…even though he can see every last inch. He took the _creature_ I was…and he gave me back my life. He gave me _music_," she said, an almost-smile taking up residence on her face. "The only thing that makes me angry is how _useless_ I am right now."

It wasn't quite a smile that came to Mystique's face, either, but she was clearly pleased about something.

"You aren't useless, Pele. This is what he _wants_ for you. I think that…right now…he would say _you_ can still love, too."

Suddenly realizing that the shape shifter had been leading her on from the start, the de-powered telepath flushed, ashamed at herself for not realizing it sooner. "Maybe," she said quietly, looking away from them. "I don't know. Right now…I only know that _he_ shouldn't have to suffer for this…for saving me so many times when I didn't deserve it…for just being who he is and…seeing the best in someone."

"Then you won't have to worry about it much longer," Mystique told her. Now she really was smiling. "Destiny's probably already delivered the good news."

XxX

"_They're all helpless out there, you know," Onslaught says as he circles around him. Their prison has taken the shape of Charles' room once again and Charles is sitting cross-legged on the bed while Onslaught circles. "There isn't a telepath among them to defend them against that creature…should it decide to attack again."_

"_Destiny's a telepath," he says calmly, not wanting to reveal just how much that thought really bothers him._

_Onslaught laughs. "If you want to call it that. She could never hope to protect them. She probably knows exactly what that thing's up to and she **still** won't protect them. That doesn't make you angry?"_

"_Nothing you can say will convince me to free you," he says firmly, not looking at his other. "Last time…you threatened Erik…and you threatened our daughter…threatened to **kill** them. I will **never** let you out, not ever. If my staying here is the sacrifice the universe requires in order to keep them safe, then so be it."_

"_He'll be sad if you stay in a coma forever. Erik? You know that, right?"_

"_He will be safe," Charles mutters after a moment of hesitation. "That's what's important."_

_At this, Onslaught assaults his mind with images…pictures of the life Erik faces without him. He sees the metal-kine present for the birth of their daughter…sees him holding her close. He loves her…but he's alone…so alone. He says nothing, but Charles can still see the pain in his eyes, feel it echo from him in harsh, hollow waves. The eyes ask the question the heart can never voice aloud._

_**Why did you leave me?**_

_He sees him in their bed at night, alone…crying when he thinks no one can see._

"_I miss you…Charles," he whispers to the darkness. "So much…so much that sometimes I can barely breathe."_

_Raine's first birthday…the child is happy…receiving new toys from all the others…enjoying her first taste of chocolate cake. Erik wants to be happy…he **is** happy that he can make his little girl so happy…but all he can think about is the fact that someone's missing…will **always** be missing._

_And so the years pass in this fashion…Erik smiling for Raine, doting on her, giving her every ounce of love he lost when he was younger…but never truly happy again…never whole. It goes on until one day Erik just can't bear it any longer. He drags himself down to the infirmary…where Charles' comatose body lies. He unhooks him from all the machines…holds him close one last time…tenderly kissing him._

"_I'm so sorry, Charles. I know I promised you I'd take care of her, but…I just can't stand it anymore. I'm very selfish, mein Lieben. I can't go on living…knowing I'll never see your smile again. I'm sorry…I can't do it. I love you, Charles."_

"_My God! Don't **do** this to me!" Charles begs, watching the nightmare unfold in horror…but Onslaught is merciless, and Erik slips the pendant from the necklace Charles gave him…and he drives it right through his own head._

"_No," Charles cries out in quiet anguish, collapsing on the bed as if every sinew that holds his body up has been cut._

"_And without him there to protect her…the others certainly stand no chance against the Hellfire Club. Shaw will come to possess Raine in the end…and she will suffer…as Erik suffered…as Pele suffered…as **you** suffered," Onslaught continues to narrate._

_He sees his little girl, about Artemis' age…so beautiful…so perfect. She has his dark brown curls and Erik's fierce eyes…but those eyes are full of fear as Shaw harshly presses her up against a cell wall._

"_You belong to **me** now," he whispers to her, stroking her hair. "And you will be more powerful than your parents **ever** were."_

_Then Onslaught makes him watch as Shaw forces Raine through the same Hell he and Erik experienced. Her screams are the most horrible sounds he's ever known…because he can do nothing to save her._

"_Stop!" he pleads, tossing his head back and forth in a fruitless effort to shake off the visions._

"_You **know** how to make it stop. You can prevent this from **ever** happening," Onslaught taunts._

"_It won't…be like that," he whispers, his body going limp on the bed once again as the images finally dissipate. "Erik won't abandon her. They'll live for each other."_

"_You're **sure**? Erik's been hurt so many times in the past. Are you sure he can bear one more as deep as this?"_

"_If I…try to stop this…you will kill him anyway," Charles reminds himself._

"_Can't you control me, though…master?" Onslaught asks, climbing onto the bed with him._

"_You **know** I can't," he says as Onslaught climbs on top of him. "You are my baser self. If you escape again…I have no hope of controlling you. If you escape…it would mean I don't **want** to."_

"_Just so," his other whispers to him, leaning down close and laying his face alongside his. "You **have** a darker nature, Charles. You have hate, you have rage, you have pain…but you don't use them. At least the people who **use** them don't develop psycho alter egos."_

"_As I recall, you said that was a telepath thing," Charles said, firmly refusing to react to the way Onslaught was moving against his body._

"_No…I just said that's the reason **I'm** so powerful. That and, well…your hurt is just that great…the **ache** that lead to my creation."_

_For a moment, he can't see Onslaught. It's not his own slender body moving on top of his…it's Cain's hulking, crushing form._

_**Fag…fag…dirty little **_fag!

"_He paid for his mistakes," Charles says quietly…though he knows the tears on his face say he believes otherwise…and Onslaught calls him on it as the brief image of that horrific night fades away._

"_Maybe so…but some part of you still aches from all those years of abuse. Some part of you will **never** heal…and that part of you believes that what we did to Cain is barely a fraction of what he inflicted on us."_

"_That may be true…but if I give in to that part…to you…it makes me no better than him…or Shaw…and I don't want to be like that."_

"_There may come a time when what you want does not matter."_

"_What do you mean?" he asks, looking up into his other's fiery blue eyes, the certainty he'd built up against this moment suddenly beginning to crack._

"_What's going to happen on the day when the only thing that can save your precious family…is our combined power? Will you still 'not want to be like that'…if it means losing them?"_

_Charles has no answer for this, but it soon ceases to matter. At that moment, his mind is engulfed by a wave of warmth and comfort._

_For what could be minutes or hours, he just basks in it, feeling the simple joy and security, not really understanding what's happening. It's not until he senses another mind through the cocoon of warmth that he begins to understand._

_**Charles? Charles, can you hear me?**_

_**Erik?**_

_**Thank **_God_**, you're all right.**_

_**This…this is her…isn't it. Raine…**he thinks dazedly, slowly beginning to understand the state of the conscience wrapped around him_

_**Yes. Yes, mein Schatz, it's our girl. She's…she's…**_

_**Like me,** he finishes when Erik is unable to. Indeed, even though her mind is only partially formed, it's unlike any mind he's ever touched in his life. She reaches out to him in ways no one else has ever been able to, touching parts of him even Erik hasn't been able to…because she's like him. She seems to understand this on some level, and the cloud of blissful warmth is soon saturated with something else._

_Love…pure love…love for **him**._

_**Oh…Oh, Erik,** he can't help exclaiming, **she's so lovely. She's perfect.**_

_**I know.**_

_**Raine…my little girl, my precious little girl. Dear heart…I love you…so much.** Indeed, his heart is so full of love for the both of them right now, he feels it could just burst with it. His family…_

_**We came to rescue you.**_

"_I don't think so."_

_Onslaught! Charles had nearly forgotten about him. As his darker nature gathers himself for a strike against his helpless little girl, he quickly pulls his scattered mind together and places himself solidly between Onslaught and his family._

"_You will not **touch** them!" _

_Onslaught actually snarls at him. "You have won today, Charles, but I promise you…there will come a time when I'm proven right," he says, sneering knowingly as he fades back into the gathering darkness. Slowly, the scene fades away and Charles feels Erik and Raine surrounding his beleaguered mind with theirs. _

_**Erik…Erik…Raine…**he calls to them over and over again, clinging tightly to the both of them._

_**It's all right now, Charles,** Erik soothes him.** We're taking you home.**_

Charles awoke lying on a not-so-comfortable hospital bed hooked up to several machines, but he hardly noticed these things. The first thing he saw was Erik and Destiny standing over him. Erik's fingers were twined in his hair and an expression he was unused to seeing from him was on his face.

"I knew you'd come back," Erik said, the smile on his face looking like it might give way to tears at any moment. Giving him a smile of his own, Charles reached up a hand to grasp the hand Erik had in his hair.

"Well, I had the two of you to guide me," he said, pulling Erik's hand to his lips and gently kissing it. Then his gaze shifted to Destiny and she nodded, giving her permission without needing to be asked. Slowly, he moved his other hand to her swelling belly.

_Little one…are you there?_

Once again, he felt the wave of warmth and contentment wash over him…the simple joy of touching another mind…the pure love.

_Raine…my baby…my little raindrop…_

"Erik…" he whispered, feeling tears in his own eyes. "She's so beautiful."

Erik nodded at this, placing a hand next to Charles' on the precog's stomach. "The most beautiful baby girl in the world."

For all they knew, the odd little family might have huddled there for hours, just reveling in the fact that they were together again. It was Hank's voice that finally drew them out of their private little world.

"Well, you don't seem to be any worse for wear," the young doctor reported.

"How long…have I been out?" Charles finally managed to ask.

"Only two days," Destiny answered. "Raine and Erik have been working all day and night trying to get through to you."

"It didn't…hurt her, did it?" he asked, glancing between Destiny and Erik while trying to sense the answer in his daughter's mind.

"No. She's fine. She'll just need to sleep for a few days…no different from the rest of you," Destiny reassured him.

"How…how are Artemis and Havok…and Pele?"

"Artemis and Havok are fine. In fact, I'd say they're closer than ever. Pele is-"

"Right over here. You don't have to speak for me," the little girl's voice interrupted. Charles raised his head to see her sitting in a chair against the far wall.

"Are you all right?"

Slowly, Pele's neutral face twisted into a scowl. Then she stood and hissed, "You fool!" before turning and stomping out of the ward.

"She's fine," Destiny said with a reluctant smile. "She's just happy you're awake. She was worried."

He would need to talk with her later; he knew that much. Even though she would probably never show it, he had no doubt she was torn up over what had happened…and he had no idea what sort of torture that entity had forced her to endure.

"Has there been any more trouble from…whatever that thing was?" he asked the remaining three.

"None. It could be you or Pele did some damage to it that night. For whatever reason, we haven't seen any sign of it since then," Erik reassured him.

"There's that, at least," Charles said, laying back down when Erik insistently pushed against his chest. Somehow, he got the feeling they hadn't seen the last of it, and a look from Destiny confirmed that suspicion, but he knew there was no point in asking her about it. What would come would come…and they would just have to be ready for it when it did. In the meantime, he had just survived a brush with death, so he was going to make use of the fact that he was still breathing.

"So tell me, Erik, who do I have to shag to get something to eat?"

Erik smirked down at him, tousling his hair affectionately. "For your sake, I'm going to assume that was a joke. I shudder to think of what might happen to this lovely new facility of yours if I hear you've been shagging _anyone_ but me."

"Charles, I _know_ you were joking, but could you please not antagonize him," Hank pleaded once Erik had gone. "He's been hard enough to deal with the past two days, and…frankly…I like this place and would rather not see it destroyed."

XxX

"So, Colonel, will this information be of any use to you?" Wyngarde asked.

The two mutants and the two Strykers were meeting in a room in the CIA building. Stryker Jr. was going over the charts of the Xavier estate Selene had made…charts that included all the recent modifications to the grounds.

"It'll be _very_ useful," the younger Stryker said slowly, taking in every detail. After several more minutes of contemplative silence, he glanced up at the angular man. "I do have to ask, though…how did you obtain this information without Xavier being the wiser? This man can…read minds, can't he?"

"Well, let's just say that my…organization has been dealing with telepaths for years. We know how to get what we need."

"Hmm, you might have to introduce me to your 'organization' sometime," the colonel said casually. If he hadn't trusted this man before, he certainly didn't trust him now. What on earth had prompted him to name his own son Jason?

"My dear colonel, you know as well as I do that some government secrets must be kept. I'm really not at liberty to discuss my organization any further than this."

"Dad, are we honestly going to take this?" the younger man asked his father.

"I don't really care if you trust him or not, William. If the intel's good, I want you to work with it."

"This is-"

"Can. You. _Use._ This information?" the elder Stryker asked slowly.

"I can use it. We could take these guys down with this…but how do we know this isn't some sort of trap?"

"No tricks, Colonel. I assure you, my people want this assault to take place just as badly as your father does. Xavier and Lehnsherr are extremely dangerous men and they must be taken down. If it would make you feel any better, I will volunteer to remain under lockdown here until you have your raid planned out," Wyngarde told them.

"Don't have anything better to do with your time?" William bit back at him.

"I am but one man, Colonel Stryker. If my time and freedom is what it takes to see that this attack goes through, I am more than willing to give it. There are others who can do my work. These mutants _must_ be brought to heel."

"William, think about Jason," Bill said, his expression softening at the mention of his newborn grandson. "Do you really want him to grow up in a world where a man like Xavier can control his mind…take away his free will? We have to put a stop to this _now_, while we still can."

After several minutes of thought, William finally sighed in defeat. "All right, all right, I'll do it. I'll orchestrate this operation…but only if _you_ follow through on your promise to stay under lockdown until it's done. I still don't trust you," he said to Wyngarde, giving him a thoroughly poisonous glare. Wyngarde only smiled.

"You have my word, Colonel. I assure you, nothing would please me more than to see Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr brought to justice."

XxX

(A/N) No notes this time, just the hope that you're all still enjoying my little tale.


	15. An Eternal Flame

(A/N) I adore all you lovely readers, and I certainly hope you're all still continuing to enjoy.

**How Do You Measure…**

_Chapter 15: An Eternal Flame_

Thankfully, the next few weeks saw no activity from their unknown adversary, giving the group at least a little time to recuperate from the ordeal. The only physical injuries that had been suffered were the gouges in Havok's shoulders from when he and Artemis hadn't been…quite themselves. Those were healing fine. What needed time to heal were the mental wounds…and it wasn't until about two weeks after the fact that Pele finally sought Charles out about hers.

"You lied to me," he heard her saying when he was sitting in his study working one morning. He looked up to see her standing in the doorway.

"How have I lied to you?" he asked, indicating she ought to come in. She did so, explaining as she moved.

"When you sealed my power…you said I would be able to break your seal if I really needed to. I couldn't do it. I couldn't help when my power was needed. Why couldn't I do it?"

"Do you remember what happened that night?" he asked after several moments of contemplation. He knew he didn't need to clarify which part of that night he was talking about.

"I…remember," she said haltingly, having no more desire to recall it than he did.

"I think…that some part of you is still afraid…afraid of the power inside you…and that part resists reawakening it because you're afraid of what might happen when you are once again an active force in the world."

"So how do I _stop_ being afraid?" she demanded in her usual petulant tone.

Charles, for his part, was at least pleased she didn't deny her fear. That was the first step. "Unfortunately, you can't just stop fear. It must be defeated…and it will be…on the day you decide something else is more important than your fear."

"But who knows when that'll be? What happens if you need my help before that day comes?" she protested.

"Do you _want_ to protect this place? Do you think of it as your home?"

For a long while, Pele stood stark still, giving nothing away, but she eventually nodded.

"Yes."

"Then it shouldn't be long before you conquer your fear. Until then, we will manage as we always have. Otherwise, Pele, I would have the year we agreed on back in Scotland, in which case, there are five months still remaining."

"And if I break the seal before that time is up?"

"Then I'll say nothing else, but until then, it's just as I told you before…we are all here for you, and you can trust us to be able to take care of you and ourselves if something goes wrong," he reassured her.

Another long silence ensued, in which Pele didn't look at him. Ultimately, she turned away and began to head out, but just before she was gone, Charles thought he heard her murmur, 'Thank you.'

XxX

Of the many things in the world Erik Lehnsherr did not understand, the Fourth of July was quickly becoming chief among them, and he said as much to Charles while the two of them worked to dish out a special occasion dessert: a berry trifle with layers of angel food cake, blueberries, raspberries, and strawberries. As they dished out servings, they slathered each one with a generous helping of whipped cream.

"So whose freedom are we celebrating exactly?" he asked. Charles had tried to explain it earlier, but he still wasn't getting it. "Because it seems to me that the only people who are free here are straight, white, Christian, human men. Why is everyone else celebrating?"

"Offhand, I'd guess people just really enjoy running around with sparklers," Charles said as he began loading the dishes onto a tray. The children had certainly been doing that all day…along with setting off smoke bombs, firecrackers, poppers, and bottle rockets, and as much fire as there had already been at the estate today, the main event was still to come.

"Really, though, Charles? The whole thing's just disgustingly hypocritical. How can you defend it?" Erik asked as he took a full tray from the telepath.

"Because freedom isn't a thing that just happens overnight. The Civil War's been over nearly a hundred years and black men are still barely considered citizens in some parts of this country. It _is_ shameful," Charles conceded as he lifted his own tray and they started to head back outside together, "but I don't celebrate something so generic as 'freedom.' I prefer to think of it as honoring people who have given all they can give in its name. I expect you'll tire of hearing me say this, but…I mark the day in the _hope_ that someday all it purports to celebrate will be true."

Erik said nothing to this, partly because they'd reached the gaggle of blankets where the others were sitting, and partly because he wasn't _sure_ what to say. He continued to ponder the point as he and Charles passed out dessert, continued right up until he and Charles were cuddled together back on their own blanket, with Charles contentedly shoveling the confection into his mouth while Erik watched. His thoughts were serious right up until he noticed that Charles had gotten a bit of whipped cream on his nose and didn't seem to realize it. Erik couldn't help but snicker at this.

"What?" Charles demanded with his mouth still half-full. An adorable pout took shape on his face as he swallowed and Erik laughed a little harder, saying nothing as he leaned forward to lick away the white smear. Charles blinked several times in surprise.

"That sweet tooth of yours is going to get you into an awful lot of trouble someday," he said, giving him a quick peck on the lips. Charles gave him a cheeky grin.

"Oh, I think it could do that _tonight_. After all…we _do_ still have plenty of that whipped cream left over."

Before Erik could read any further into this, Havok and Hank started shouting from the far end of the field where they were preparing the fireworks display.

"Everybody ready?"

The ragtag family shouted back in the affirmative, and almost immediately, a flare of red and blue shot into the sky and burst into bloom overhead with a thundering _boom_.

Erik had to battle the instinct to flee. Even though Charles had warned him about this ahead of time, the colorful rockets still sounded _so_ much like bombs going off…a sound he was all too familiar with. Charles said nothing when his grip on him tightened; he just leaned a little closer. No matter how many of them went off, though, he couldn't quite seem to get used to them. He was seriously considering just going inside when he happened to glance down at Charles.

The telepath's expression was exuberant: his mouth open wide in a joyous smile and his beautiful blue eyes sparkling with the untainted wonder of a child. Of all the sights he'd seen today, _this_ was the one that took Erik's breath away.

"They're beautiful, aren't they," Charles whispered, his beautiful face lit by an explosion of purple and gold.

"Yeah," Erik conceded, leaning in and pressing his lips to the younger mutant's cheek. Maybe he _could_ get through this…just like this.

_I love you._

_I love you, too. I'm glad you stayed._

Somehow, they both knew they weren't just talking about fireworks.

XxX

Raine Xavier was negative four and a half months old. As such, Charles didn't think much about what she would be like as a teenager. He enjoyed her as she was now. Every morning he would send his mind to his sister's room, checking in on his baby girl, asking her how she was doing, reveling in her simple joy and curiosity at the joining of their minds. Some days he would just lay in bed, listening to the lovely hum of her growing mind. On days like that, even Erik could hardly get him to stir, he was just so happy to be able to connect with her like this.

In Charles' mind, Raine was about as far from being a teenager as she could be, and as such he had zero expectations of dealing with teenage girls and cars any time in the near future. Artemis, however, as she so often did, proved him wrong.

"Professor, I want to learn how to drive a motorcycle," she announced one morning when she came into the kitchen. Erik accidentally flipped a half-cooked sausage out of his frying pan and Charles nearly choked on a sip of hot tea.

"E - excuse me?" Charles spluttered once he'd gotten his breath back.

"I want to learn to drive a motorcycle," she repeated calmly.

"Where is this coming from all of a sudden?" he asked her.

"I've wanted to learn ever since I first saw one, and Alex says I'm the right age to learn."

"Well…to learn to drive a _car_, maybe, but a motorbike's a whole different kind of animal," Charles explained, making a note to talk to Havok about this later. "But…perhaps we _could_ start you learning to drive. You've got to learn to crawl before you can walk, that sort of thing."

"Thank you very much," she said, her eyes shining with excitement.

"One more thing, though…while I have you here," the telepath began before she could disappear. "We never did celebrate your birthday, did we."

"That's all right," she reassured him. "There were…other things going on then." Her birthday had come in the midst of the mess with their unidentified assailant and the day had passed unmarked. It was now nearly a month later.

"Well, the thing is…Havok had a bit of a surprise for you. He was so grateful to you for bringing his sister to him, he wanted to do something for you. So he asked Destiny to find your mother."

Artemis froze for several minutes at this before finally managing to ask, "And…_did_ she?"

Charles nodded slowly. "Yes. She didn't die that night. The paramedics got to her in time. She's still living in the same house…and she's been looking for you ever since."

Artemis said nothing to this, but for a moment, she looked like she might faint. Quickly, she grabbed a chair and sat down, shivering slightly, despite the summer heat. When Charles asked if she was all right, she waved him off, nodding that he ought to continue.

"Artemis…I have no right to keep you from her…neither legally nor morally…not when she clearly wants you this badly. My question to you is…what do _you_ want?"

Artemis thought for several moments before answering, her eyes bright with tears of confusion. "I…I want to see her, but…you all are my family, too. I can't just leave here."

Charles gave her a warm smile, reaching out to grasp her trembling hands. "I thought as much, and I would never ask you to leave here…but Erik and I have discussed it, and if your mother is amenable to the idea, there may be a solution."

XxX

Artemis had seen much for only having lived fifteen years. She had seen her father stab her mother…and she'd killed him for it. She had faced wild animals of every shape and size. Like many mutant children, she'd seen things most people had only seen in their nightmares. Even after all this, she didn't know that she'd ever been more scared than she was in the moments between Charles knocking on her mother's front door and the door slowly creaking open.

At first, she couldn't see anyone. She, Havok, and Erik were standing off to the side while Charles did the initial talking, but someone had clearly opened the door.

"Can I help you?" came the voice of a slightly older woman.

"Hello, Miss Lane. My name is Charles Xavier," he said, extending a hand to shake hers, "and I believe we can help each other."

"You're not selling anything, are you?" she asked, polite, but wary.

"No. Certainly not, but…I believe I have something you might want. Elsie Lane…seven years ago you lost your child…a little girl named Rose…and the police never could find her."

"Yes…what about it?" the voice asked, shifting from polite to stiff and bitter.

"You told the police _you_ killed your husband that night, but that isn't true, is it."

"Yes – yes, it is. What are you talking about?" she protested.

"Rose did it, didn't she…with her power. She did it to protect you."

"Why did you come here?" she asked. Artemis thought she could hear tears in her voice.

"Because Rose wants to know that you still love her, even after what she did."

"What – what are you-"

Charles didn't say anything to this; he simply inclined his head to the side and, hesitantly, the door opened a little wider.

The woman standing there _was_ the woman she remembered…but the years had been hard. Her dark blonde hair was streaked with grey already and there were definite signs of aging in her face…but it was still _her_. This was still her _mother_.

"Mom?" she whispered, hardly daring to breathe.

For a long while, Elsie Lane just stared, hardly daring to believe.

"Rosie?" she murmured after a time, slowly starting to recognize the little girl in the teenage features.

"It's me, Mom."

"It _is_ you. Oh, my baby!" she cried, finally coming to her and pulling her into her arms, holding her as if she'd never let go. "Rosie! Rosie! I thought I'd never see you again…and here you are, my little girl. You're so beautiful…and you've gotten so _big_. My God," she sobbed.

Charles circled around the two embracing women, coming to stand beside Erik, clasping hands as they watched the joyous reunion.

"Rosie…where have you _been_ all this time?" Elsie asked all of a sudden. Hesitantly, Artemis glanced back at Charles, who quickly took up the slack.

"It is, perhaps, better to talk inside, I think," he advised, to which Elsie nodded, inviting them all in. The five of them ended up in her living room, spread across a couch and some chairs.

"Why did you run away that night?" Elsie asked her daughter, compulsively gripping her shoulder, as if afraid she would disappear again at any moment.

"It's…what he said," Artemis answered, nodding at Charles. "I was afraid…you wouldn't love me anymore…after what I did."

"Sweetheart, I could never _not_ love you. It was _my_ fault, really. I should have protected you from him."

"You did. You _did_, Mom. You…you told the police _you_ did it…just to protect me."

"I did. After you'd gone, I…I called 911 and told them I'd killed my husband after he'd tried to kill me. While I waited for them, I…put the knife through his heart…just to make it look convincing. But…Rosie…where have you been living all these years?"

"I…went into the forest…deep into the forest. That night was so horrible…I forgot who I was. I forgot being human…and I lived with a pack of wolves. They were my family," she said, smiling fondly as she remembered. "For six years, I was a wolf…but then I came out of the forest…and Charles helped me to remember who I was."

"How?" Elsie asked, glancing over at the telepath.

_Like this,_ he explained, raising a hand to his temple. _Rose has her gifts…and I have mine. We all do, in fact._

"Oh," the woman said slowly, nodding as comprehension dawned. "You're all like my Rosie. What is it they've been calling you? Mutants?"

"Yes…and the world's a little…divided…over our existence just now, so I imagine you can understand why it's best for your daughter to remain anonymous. It would be big news if she were to suddenly reappear after all these years. Something might get out," Charles told her.

"Yes…yes…" Elsie said, slowly coming to the realization of what this meant. "Where are you living? Can I come visit?"

"Certainly, you could. We're living down in Westchester, but I believe I have an arrangement that would work better for all of us. You see, Miss Lane, I'm in the process of opening up a school for people like us…children with nowhere else to go. I own a substantial piece of property and I've a few students living there already. I understand you're a teacher?"

"Yes, elementary and middle school."

"What I was wondering is if you might be interested in joining the staff. I'm in need of several more teachers. If you decided to come, you could be near your daughter."

"Are…are you certain you _want_ me? I mean, I'm just…average. Nothing super human about me," she said, sounding slightly self-deprecating.

"That shouldn't matter. Personally, I want my students to learn that we _can_ all work together," Charles said, shooting Erik a pointed look. They had had several long, involved _conversations_ over whether or not to make this move, and Erik had finally conceded the point. "I'll understand if you'll want some time to think it over. It _is_ a major decision, after all, and I don't have any children really of an age for you to be teaching yet. You don't need to decide right away."

"Oh, I…I'm pretty much decided, Mr. Xavier. If you're certain of your offer, I'd love the position. I'd be honored to be a part of this. Though, I should at least finish out one more school year. Term starts in only a month and it's much too late to back out now. I owe them at least that much."

"It's settled, then," Charles said with a grin. "I can send you more information if you like, and I'll certainly leave contact information with you."

"One other thing, though," Erik interrupted, getting up from his chair and coming to stand behind Charles, placing his hands on his shoulders. "We're _together_. Does that bother you at all?" he asked, almost as if he meant to provoke a fight.

"Erik," Charles began warningly.

"No," Elsie answered promptly. "I've seen too much hate in this world to even dream of adding to it. Love is beautiful…_all_ love," she said, turning her gaze back to her daughter and smiling, but then her gaze shifted to Havok. "I believe I've met everyone now except for you, young man. Who are you?"

"Ah…"

XxX

Elsie really couldn't have a problem with Havok and Artemis' relationship, as even _they_ weren't quite sure how to define themselves. They were caught somewhere between best friends and…something more. Boyfriend and girlfriend didn't seem quite right, either. It was too casual. Either way, Elsie's visits to the mansion weren't nearly as awkward as Havok had feared they might be. In fact, she became a regular weekend fixture at the place. She was interested in every aspect of the goings-on in Westchester, and the children were interested in her, too. Hence Charles felt confident that no one would wind up dead or maimed and felt comfortable going on a proposed "date" with Erik one night late in July. Unfortunately, all Charles could do was worry as Erik guided the car out of the garage.

"I don't see why you think _we're_ the ones who need a break. Destiny will be in the third trimester before too long and we'll have to tie her to a chair to see she gets enough rest, and of course, I'll have to listen to Raven complain about how she can't have sex and-"

"Charles," Erik interrupted him swiftly. "_This_ is why _you_ need a break. You work yourself into a frenzy over little things like this. Destiny understands that rest is important, but you don't seem to realize how much you do. And it isn't so much that I thought you needed a break as I wanted to show you something. The break is just a nice bonus," he said, suddenly turning the car off the main road leading off the estate and onto one of the side roads that led out onto the property.

"Erik? What are you doing? I thought you wanted to go _out_."

"We _are_ out," Erik pointed out. "We're just not going all that far."

"What are you planning?" Charles asked, his grin bordering on cheeky as he turned to look at the metal-kine.

"You'll see," he said, his own smirk rather self-satisfied.

As he'd said, the drive wasn't all that far…just far enough from the lights of the mansion…just out into the small forest that surrounded the property…a cozy little spot just off the road where the trees opened up into a clearing. To Charles' surprise and delight, Erik had hidden a picnic basket and blanket in the trunk of the car.

"Interesting time of day for a picnic," Charles commented as he watched Erik set up, not allowed to help in any way.

"Oh, it's the only time of day for this. You'll see what I mean."

The evening air was just warm enough to be comfortable as they sat together on the blanket, sipping glasses of wine and eating servings of the stir-fry Erik had made by lantern light. After that, Erik quickly gathered up all of the dinnerware and doused the lantern.

"So," Charles began, barely able to make out Erik's face in the starlight, "what is it you wanted me to see?"

"Well, if you'd stop asking and let me focus, I'd just _show_ you," Erik replied with a smirk, nearly invisible, but apparent in his voice, nonetheless. When Charles made no reply, he moved to the end of the blanket and began to focus his power. He could use his mutation to sense the magnetic poles of the planet and guide himself like a living compass…well, really that was all this was. Only it would be…applied in a slightly different way.

Erik traced his senses along the planetary magnetosphere, all the way to magnetic north and back to himself, feeling the lines of force in the magnetic field. He'd just barely tapped this extension of his power and was only now beginning to realize how extensive it could be…but for once in his life, he wasn't thinking about improving his skills or advantages in battle. He was thinking about Charles. The telepath's own mutation had made the connection between them that much more beautiful. Now he wanted to prove to both Charles and himself that his power was good for more than just destruction. He wanted to do something beautiful for his love…to see him smile again like he had during the fireworks…like he did when they lay tangled up in each other after sex.

With all this in mind, Erik took hold of the magnetic lines, gripping their massive force with all his desire and shaking their energy up to a fever pitch. As he moved the very air, he felt the lines of force grow hot with his power, trembling in his grasp. When he heard Charles gasp behind him, he knew he'd succeeded. He opened his eyes and looked up.

A slender wave of green and red light had manifested in the sky, bright enough to light the forest around them. Erik could feel himself trembling with exertion, but he was happy…so happy.

"An…an aurora," Charles breathed in wonder. "Oh…oh, Erik."

Without releasing his grip, Erik turned to look down at him. That glorious smile lit his face once again, and his blue eyes were bright…so bright. Was…was he crying?

"Much better than the fireworks, I think," he said, trying hard to keep control of both himself and the force he'd summoned. "Just as colorful…and completely silent."

"Erik…" he whispered, hardly daring to disturb the silence around them. "It…it's so beautiful. You're amazing, my love."

Slowly, Erik moved to his knees before Charles, in awe of the love and admiration he saw in his eyes. "Say it again," he whispered.

"You're amazing?"

"No…that it's beautiful."

"It _is_ beautiful. _You_ are beautiful," Charles whispered right back, reaching out tremulously to touch his cheek.

_Get down here,_ he ordered, the voice in Erik's head thick with sudden lust.

_What?_

_I want you. Now! __**Right**__**now**__,_ he insisted, the urgency in his telepathy bordering dangerously on psychic control, but Erik didn't really mind. Feeling Charles' desire for him through their link made him want the younger mutant just as badly.

Quickly, he fell on top of Charles, pushing him down onto the blanket and kissing his mouth hungrily. Charles pushed back just as fiercely, his fingers scrabbling at the black fabric of Erik's shirt, struggling to pull it off.

Once his arms were free, Erik immediately began to tear at Charles's button down shirt. Several buttons popped off in the process, but he eventually got the silly thing off. He reached for Charles with his power, but he wasn't wearing a whole lot of metal…just a watch, a belt, and a zipper. The watch was nothing to him, but the belt was soon yanked free and flung into a bush somewhere. The last obstacle was the zipper, which got caught on the fabric in his hurry and he had almost no patience with it, so his quickest solution was simply to dissolve it. Charles cried out as the heated, twisting bit of metal brushed against his skin, but Erik soon made short work of it, along with the pants attached to it. The underwear was no stop to him at all.

_Give me your fingers,_ Charles demanded heatedly as he fumbled with Erik's pants. The metal-kine didn't need any more clarification. He simply offered his first two fingers to the telepath and he began to suck on them, slathering the digits with his saliva. Erik shuddered just to _think_ of all the things that tongue could do to him.

With Charles sucking on his fingers, he could only get the rest of his clothing so far off, so Erik did eventually have to pull back to shed it, but he was on Charles again in mere seconds, kissing him and reaching his fingers around to his exposed backside. Hoisting Charles into his lap, he quickly slid both fingers inside. Charles hissed in pain, but he continued to move his body against Erik's, letting him know it was all right to continue. Erik thrust in and out several times, scissoring, preparing his lover as best he could.

Whether the stretching was enough or not, Charles suddenly pulled away from him, snaking his way down his body. Erik's head fell back and his jaw went slack, a long groan of desire slipping from his mouth as Charles' rosebud lips closed around him and once again began to wet him with saliva.

"Hnngh…_God_, yes," he moaned rather loudly, burying his fingers in Charles' hair. Charles hummed softly against him and the sensation traveled throughout his whole body, leaving him nearly breathless. Already, they were both rock hard. Charles continued to hum and moan, nearly deep-throating him in his quest to make him ready.

_Erik, I want you inside me. I want you in me __**now!**_

_Yes…__**yes**__…_his thoughts drifted blearily back to the telepath as he pulled away from him yet again, but as he moved to crouch on all fours, Erik quickly stopped him, pushing him back down onto the blanket so that they were still face to face as he leaned in close.

"No," he murmured as he ran his mouth along the side of Charles' face. "I want to see your face when I come inside you. I want to see those lips cry my name when I make you spill all over me."

Charles shuddered at the visual in Erik's mind, moaning rather loudly as he writhed slightly beneath Erik. "Take me…take me, Erik…_make_ me come," he panted.

Erik pulled back just far enough to hike up his legs, positioning himself and entering in one swift thrust. Charles cried out in pain, but nearly in that same breath, he cried, "Don't you _dare_ stop…"

Erik continued to thrust, leaving behind their usual slow and easy pace. There was something different about tonight. There was a fire in both of them as their bodies ground furiously together.

"Ah…fuck me…_fuck me!_" the telepath cried aloud, moving up to meet Erik's thrusts with his own body. Erik pushed his legs up nearly to his head as he thrust even harder. The shift allowed him to go even deeper and Charles very nearly screamed, his eyes briefly rolling up into his head.

"Oh, Gott…oh, Gott…Scheiße…mein Schatz…mein Licht…_Charles!_"

Charles moaned incoherently as he tossed his head from side to side. As their minds blended seamlessly together, his own thoughts filled Erik's head.

_Erik…I love you…I love you so much. I'm yours. I __**need**__ you! Please…don't ever leave me!_

_I will never,_ Erik answered his call the moment it was thought. _You are my __**love.**_

One more thrust from Erik was all it took. Charles dug his fingers into Erik's muscular back as his body tensed, his eyes flying wide open, illuminated by the light from above.

"Ah…_Erik!_" he cried out, his toes curling as he spurted his seed onto the older mutant's stomach.

His name on Charles' lips triggered Erik and he came only seconds later, filling the telepath with his own semen.

Charles collapsed back on the blanket, feeling deliciously full, even as Erik pulled out of him, slowly laying down beside him and pulling him close.

It was more through the lingering sense of Erik's power in him that Charles felt the melted watch on his wrist than actually physically feeling it. With a twinkle of amusement in his eyes, he glanced down to find a ring of fused twisted metal where his timepiece used to be.

"Uh…Erik…could you…?"

Seeing the problem, Erik nodded quickly, sounding a little sheepish as he broke the ruined watch into pieces. "Sorry about this."

"It's fine," Charles said, kissing his nose. "I can always get a new one. I think I might where metal more often, though. I _love_ it when you use your power like that. Really, I think the only things that survived were these two," Charles pointed out, nodding down at the necklaces they both wore.

"I could never destroy this," Erik reassured him. "I'll always keep it close."

"As will I. It…it really is beautiful, Erik," Charles said again, gazing up at the fading aurora as he and Erik cuddled together. "And you did it all for me. Heh, other lovers give chocolates and flowers, but no…mine gives me a mega cosmic event. Never mind that it'll probably screw with the weather patterns around here for the next week or so and scientists will be struggling to explain why an aurora appeared so far from a pole," he added with a chuckle.

"Charles…would you promise me something?" Erik asked suddenly, his eyes tracing Charles' silhouette in the fading light. Slowly, Charles turned to face him.

"I can try."

"I want you to promise me…that no matter what happens…you won't erase my memory like you did with James."

Charles blinked several times, not quite sure he understood. "Where…where is this coming from all of a sudden?"

"I don't know. It just…crossed my mind, I guess. If I…_lost_ this…what we have now…if I ever went back to being what I was…life just wouldn't be worth living anymore. It would be better to be dead than to be without you."

"Erik-"

"No, Charles. I want you to _promise_ me. No matter _what_ happens…even if I'm in danger and you think it's the only way to save me…_don't do it._ Please…don't take away the only thing I ever cared about."

_I'd be hollow again…with no purpose other than vengeance. Don't take this away from me. I have a __**right**__ to my memories._

"You're right," Charles said after a time, reaching over and stroking his hair. "You have my word, Erik Lehnsherr. Unless _you_ ask it of me…I will never tamper with your memory," he swore, leaning forward to seal the vow with a kiss.

"Thank you," Erik whispered against his lips.

"Can…can we stay out until the aurora burns out completely?" Charles asked, snuggling a little closer. "I want to see it all. I like my present."

"Sure, if you want," Erik said with a chuckle, moving to pull the picnic blanket around them. "It might get a little colder tonight, though."

"That's fine. I have you to keep me warm," he said with a grin, gently kissing Erik's chest before turning his attention back toward the night sky.

XxX

(A/N) Note: I have only a vague grasp of how the aurora phenomenon works, and I _think_ it's possible for Erik to do something like this with his power, but it's also possible that I'm totally wrong. Yay, suspension of disbelief!

Translation: The only one you might not know here is 'mein Licht' = my light.

As always, hope you enjoyed, and even as you sit reading this, I am working on the next chapter! Ciao!


	16. One Last Refrain

(A/N) All praise be unto readers! Thus do I bring you another chapter.

**How Do You Measure…**

_Chapter 16: One Last Refrain_

Havok was a little surprised when Charles came to him saying he had a phone call. His first thought was to wonder who would be calling him…but then he remembered the only person he knew who had their number.

"I would complain about you being slow, but I guess you've gotta trek across that castle you're livin' in," Haley's voice sounded over the line.

"Hale? Is something wrong? Why are you calling?"

"Now why does something have to be wrong for me to call you? I'm calling because Xavier won't give me a mailing address. My only option was to call you and invite you to the wedding personally. So…save the date. You're invited to the wedding of Christopher Samuel Walker and Haley Noelle Summers on August 21st, 1963."

For a moment, Havok was silent, but then he slipped into his usual casual persona. "Did you just read that off an invitation?" he asked with a snicker.

"What if I did? What are _you_ gonna do about it?"

"Laugh."

"Whatever. Prison certainly did nothing for your attitude. So what's the answer?"

"It _would_ be yes, but…what about Mom and Dad?" he asked hesitantly.

"My wedding, my guests. So long as Chris is okay with it, I don't need anyone else's approval. Bring all your crazy friends, too. They're cool."

"Heh, all right. The professor might have to play a few mind games, though."

"Wouldn't have it any other way. I was kinda hoping you'd say that. It'll make things more interesting."

"Well, I'll definitely come. I'll have to let you know on the others."

"Works for me. Clock's tickin', though. Only three weeks, so you'd better get on that."

"Don't worry about it. Good luck stayin' on top of the planning."

"Oh, you know me, Alex."

"Yeah, I do. That's why I'm worried. Gotta say, I'm half-expecting an armed thug to jump outta _your_ wedding cake."

"Only _half_, dear brother? I must be losing my touch."

XxX

One of the useful things about being a telepath was that you absolutely _never_ had unexpected guests. Charles maintained a pretty much constant lookout around the mansion, and more so on the extensive grounds ever since the trouble with their still unknown enemy. As such, he wasn't at all surprised when he sensed two familiar minds approaching. On his way down to greet their new guests, he happened to run into Destiny.

"I take it this comes as no surprise," he commented casually, not looking at her as they walked.

"None whatsoever."

"Does it ever get boring in there?" he couldn't quite help asking.

"Never a dull moment," she answered seriously as they walked outside, just in time to greet the black mini cooper that drove up.

"I would say 'surprise,' but somehow, I sincerely doubt you're at all surprised to see us," Dr. Moira Kinross announced as she stepped out of the passenger side. Alistair Kinross, her son and Destiny's older brother, appeared from the driver's side.

"No," Destiny said, smiling cheekily as she came to give her mother a hug, "but I've been looking forward to seeing you."

"And why is it my little girl didn't see fit to tell me she was having a baby?" the doctor demanded with a chastising smile.

"Because the baby isn't really mine, Mum. Surely Hank told you she's Charles and Erik's."

"Be that as it may, you're no less pregnant."

"So it was Hank who told you?" Charles asked, going to help Alistair with suitcases.

"Yes. We've been in touch, and I'm _very_ curious as to the details of this little project. You're not pushing yourself too hard, are you?" she asked, eyeing him suspiciously as he lifted a suitcase.

"Yes," Erik answered for him as he came out the front door. "He doesn't know when to stop."

"Really, both of you, it's been nearly nine months," Charles protested as Erik took the case from him.

"Yes, and you may have forgotten, but you were severely injured. Haven't been too rough in bed, I hope?" she pitched the question at Erik.

"No promises," the metal-kine answered, smirking briefly at Charles.

"No need to worry, Dr. Kinross. Hank and Erik have been taking good care of me."

"Well, there's that, at least. You'll need your health when the bairn arrives; I promise you _that_. And how _is_ she doing?" Dr. Kinross asked, placing a hand on her daughter's swelling stomach.

"Getting stronger every day," Charles reported with a warm smile.

"Oh!" both mother and daughter exclaimed at once, having felt the little girl kick.

"I see what you mean," Moira said, rubbing Destiny's belly. "She's _very_ active today."

"Hardly a moment's peace," Destiny said, smiling softly.

"I imagine so. Hank tells me the bairn's a telepath, to boot. How can you possibly manage to keep your thoughts separate from hers?"

"I manage," Destiny explained as they all headed inside. "I've got some limited telepathic ability."

"So how's the Blackbird coming?" Alistair managed to ask Charles once they'd all gathered in the living room and Erik had disappeared to drop off the suitcases and make some tea.

"Nearly flight worthy, I believe. I imagine Hank's anxious to show you. He and the others will be here soon," Charles said. He'd telepathically informed them they had guests.

"And how are your own projects coming, Charles?" Moira asked him. "Hank's been telling me about this Cerebro of yours."

"Well, you _might_ be around for the first test run, as a certain metal-kine is _still_ hesitant about letting me into it."

"With good cause," Erik protested as he entered with a laden tea tray. "That first one wore him down more than he likes to admit. He collapsed after the first time."

"What? When did _that_ happen? No one told me about that," Mystique said fiercely as she entered the room.

"Yes, well, you were probably too busy mooning over Hank. After we'd all parted ways that day, he literally just collapsed. I had to get him back to his room. _That's_ why I don't like him using that thing. I don't like what it does to him," Erik said sternly.

"Honestly, Erik, it's a simple matter of building endurance. Do you think I was _born_ with the ability to control my telepathy? This is just the next phase in learning to master it, and I can't _do_ that without testing the machine," Charles huffed indignantly.

"Ah, little miss," Dr. Kinross greeted when Pele entered the room, preventing the lovers' spat from going any farther. "How's that head?"

"Still locked," she said, throwing a mock glare at the professor, "healed, though, so…thank you," she muttered, as if the last two words pained her, but when she glanced at Charles, he gave her an encouraging smile and she bore the scene without further complaint. The good doctor didn't fail to notice this, but she knew enough not to comment on it. Pele had made tremendous progress since she'd last seen her and commenting on it may well lead to a step backward.

"Though, Charles," Pele began again, "if you _were_ to unlock me, I could help you operate the Danger Room," she suggested slyly.

"You _know_ I don't like that term," Charles told her. They all knew it, but it stuck, just the same. The first time they'd used it, Onslaught had made an appearance. Charles would work with the others in there from time to time, creating scenarios for them to train with, but he absolutely refused to work with Erik in there anymore, considering what had happened the first time…what could easily happen again if he were to lose control of himself as he had that day. Erik supported the decision, and along with this, Destiny was also not allowed in, at the risk that the baby's presence might call the monster out again in the middle of training. So no matter how much he didn't care for his students' new nickname for the bunker, it seemed that 'Danger' Room was more than accurate.

"Come on, Charles. You _know_ Erik needs to train, and you won't help him. You need another telepath."

"Erik put you up to this, didn't he," Charles accused, throwing a half-glare at his lover. "I _know_ you and I agreed to the full term. How many new flute books did he have to promise you?"

"Four," Erik replied lazily, not even bothering to deny that such a deal had taken place.

"Plus a pan flute," Pele added. "I need a new instrument to learn. There aren't anymore in the music room."

"Erik," Charles started with a groan, "you _know_ how I feel about this."

"And _you_ know I need to be training…so I can protect you," the metal-kine said, suddenly becoming serious. "I supported your decision not to risk a repeat of that first time, but there's still nothing that quite measures up to one of those sessions."

"All right," Charles said, suddenly looking devious. "Let me test out Cerebro and I'll unlock Pele's mind for you."

For a moment, Erik looked stunned; then his face fell and his shoulders slumped. "That…that's just not _fair_."

"Oh, I think it's fair. You want to train? You have to let _me_ train, too. If I'm ever going to be strong enough to control him, _I_ need to get stronger, too."

"What if…using it…accidentally sets him free?" Erik theorized. "Maybe this version's more refined than the old one, but…it's also more powerful. What if you can't handle it?" he continued, genuine concern beginning to bleed through.

_What if you hadn't been able to handle the submarine…or the missiles…or that corridor in Auschwitz? We can't __**think**__ about things like that, my love. We just have to hope we're strong enough. We're never going to know these things until we try._

_Is it worth the risk, though? _Erik questioned, holding his gaze with his own. _I don't…I don't want to lose you again…not like that. You didn't __**see**__ it, Charles._

_There's only one way to keep it from happening again. I'm sorry, darling, but you **know** that._

"Anyone care to fill us in on the clandestine conversations of Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr?" Mystique interrupted, clearly seeing the battle of wills going on between the two of them. Charles realized, a little late, that they were alienating everyone else, as they sometimes did, unfortunately. He sighed as he looked away from Erik.

"I can see neither of us is going to win this battle. Do we have to do this _now_, Erik? We have _guests_."

"Yeah, but they're practically family anyway," Mystique pointed out, glancing at Destiny with a smile.

"You see?" Erik said, smirking to try and hide his earlier lapse. "We can do this all day."

"Perhaps we can, but let's not. After dinner, maybe," Charles said, rubbing his forehead in frustration.

"Really? We're actually going to _talk_ about it this time?"

"Yes…whatever you want. Let's just not do this _now_."

Erik grinned at this, as if he'd actually won something. Only Charles knew he hadn't. He didn't let Erik in on his thoughts this time, but he _knew_ there was only one way to break this deadlock. It would be a terrible breach of Erik's trust to do it, but it had to be done. He was _not_ going to undo the binds he'd placed on Pele. She simply wasn't ready yet…and as that term was one he absolutely refused to grant, the only way he was going to be able to use Cerebro…was behind Erik's back.

XxX

Charles' little scheme had worked almost too well. After dinner, Artemis and Havok had lured Erik away under the pretense of fixing something metal Artemis had apparently broken during one of their bouts of 'sexual tension.' At that, Charles had led the way down to the lower levels. Now he was standing just outside the doors to Cerebro, taking a few steadying breaths. He was excited, but he also felt horribly guilty for tricking Erik like this. The one point Erik would not concede was that he might be able to use Cerebro to find the Hellfire Club. The fact that Erik wouldn't even bend for that proved just how worried he was over the situation. This betrayal would hurt him, but in the end, it was necessary…if they wanted to protect their family from Shaw.

"What happens if it's too much?" Dr. Kinross asked.

"It has fail safes," Hank started to explain.

"Just so," Charles picked up. "If I pass out, the system will shut down. It can't function without a living consciousness linked with it. And if something _does_ happen, well…the medical ward is just down the hallway," he said, laughing quietly, trying to shake off his nerves.

"Do you…want someone to go in with you?" Mystique asked slowly.

"No, I…I think I had best do this on my own," he said quietly, not looking at any of them.

_This is __**my**__ betrayal. I don't want anyone else mixed up in it._

"Are you _sure_?" Pele asked.

"Positive. With this system's design…it's best if I do it alone. Adding more minds will just complicate the operational matrix."

"If you insist. Well, better go to it, lad. Erik's no idiot. It won't take him long to figure out the ruse," Alistair warned him, anxiously shifting his gaze between the open door and the elevator.

"You're right," Charles said, swallowing anxiously as he strode into the large chamber, walking down the catwalk to the system's main terminal. A helmet lay on the console, wired into the terminal…and for a moment, Charles was eerily reminded of _Shaw's_ helmet…the helmet with the opposite effect.

_I'm sorry, Erik. I really am,_ he called out to him in his mind as he lifted the helmet and placed it on his head, punching in a sequence of numbers on the console in order to seal the chamber.

"_Charles!_" he heard Erik shout…shout, as in…physically heard…not in his head.

Shit!

Whipping his head around, Charles saw Erik sprinting down the corridor from the elevator. The last thing he saw before the doors closed was the horrified look on his face.

"_NO!_"

_I'm sorry,_ he repeated, shaking as he turned back to the console. _I have to do this,_ he soothed before shutting Erik out completely.

Erik, meanwhile, was pounding furiously on the door.

"Dammit, Charles! Don't _do_ this!" he shouted. He was just about to tear down the door himself when Hank roughly grabbed his shoulder.

"Erik, you _can't_ just break in. You _know_ that. If you interrupt a link in progress, you might _kill_ him, along with anyone else he's linked to," Hank said, even though he knew Erik didn't care about anyone else except Charles right now.

"Why did you let him do it?" he demanded of them. "You haven't seen what this thing can do!" He knew he could break through without harming Charles. He knew how the operational matrix was constructed, but undermining it would take time…time Charles probably didn't have. Erik made a mental note to kill Artemis and Havok later.

Charles was lost to all of this. The moment the chamber was sealed and his mind was linked into the device, his consciousness burst violently outward, just as it had the first time. Also like that first time, the experience of it was overwhelming…and he felt a twinge of guilt because he knew Erik was experiencing at list a glimmer of his pain. In this state, he couldn't hope to keep his mind in one piece _and_ block the link between Erik and himself. It just wasn't possible.

Erik had been right, though. This machine _was_ more powerful. He could see the _world_ from here. Every mind in existence was laid out before him. He didn't realize he was crying until he felt teardrops on his hands.

_Charles,_ he suddenly heard Erik's despairing voice in the back of his mind, _are you in pain?_

_No…no, my love. I wish you could see this…really __**see**__ it. It's all so beautiful…and so big…_

But then, quite suddenly, there was a mind he couldn't touch. He knew this presence existed; it was confirmed by other minds, but _he_ couldn't see it.

_Shaw._

One mind soon became aware of his presence, and as the diamond walls sprang up, he managed to catch a few scant glimpses of the Hellfire Club.

Virginia…coast…CIA…Stryker…happen soon…New York…Xavier…_attack…_

Nothing more, except…there was still one mind that remained unshielded! Uncertain, he cautiously probed his way in…a young mind…a girl…but she was aware of him almost instantly. Another telepath?

_You should know better than to look into a precog's mind, Charles Xavier,_ her voice taunted, holding his mind in place against hers. _You will see things you do and do not wish to see._

At this, his mind was assaulted with a vision. _He sees his and Erik's room. He sees himself standing at one end, next to a man and a woman he's never seen before. The woman's holding Pele in a death grip, but this is hardly the worst part. The worst part is that he's holding a gun leveled at Erik's heart…who is standing not five feet from him._

"_Charles," Erik begins calmly, his gaze locked onto his own horrified eyes as he points a thumb at the very center of his chest, "aim right here…and don't miss."_

"_No, Charles!" Pele shouts, struggling to get free. "You **can't** shoot Erik!"_

"_Iolana!" he shouts to be heard over her, then again, more calmly, "**Please,** Iolana. I need you to pray for Erik for me." _

_Never once does he take his eyes away from Erik's. He doesn't see what happens when the gun goes off._

"NOOO!" he screamed in desperation as the vision dissolved around him and the connection to the other mind was neatly severed. He fell to his knees, violently shoving the helmet away. The moment the connection was broken, the doors hissed open and Erik was pounding down the catwalk toward him as he collapsed, his energy gone.

No sooner had he hit the floor than Erik was already gathering him in his arms, his body limp as a rag doll's.

"Charles? Look at me, Charles!" he urged, anxiously searching for a pulse in his neck. When Charles finally opened his eyes and looked up at him, they were full of shock and despair.

"I…I know where he is…Shaw…the Hellfire…" he tried to explain.

"Shh, shh," Erik shushed him as the others came rushing down the catwalk. "Don't talk now. Just rest."

"Erik, I…I'm not hurt," he slurred slightly. "Just…exhausted. I…I was forced to remain connected to a precog. She might have killed the both of us."

"There's…another precog?" Destiny murmured, confused. "I don't think…I've _ever_ seen this person before."

"She's…very young…and her mind…is like ice," Charles said softly. It was unlike any other mind he'd ever touched before. Even Emma's diamond consciousness had some warmth to it. He'd had the misfortune of experiencing the warmth in her himself, but this girl's mind was like being frozen in solid ice.

"What did you see, Charles?" Destiny asked him, knowing there was only one reason a precog would have forged a connection like that.

"You don't _know?_" Charles asked, unable to resist taunting a little bit. "So how does that make _you_ feel?"

"Charles, this might be important. What did she _show_ you? She had specific designs in showing you the future," she warned him, her expression hardening minutely.

"Enough!" Erik snarled at all of them, easily lifting Charles' limp body in his arms. "You are all going to _shut up. Right now_. And _you_," he snarled just as fiercely at Charles, "I'm taking you to the med ward."

"Erik, I _told_ you…I'm fine," Charles murmured none-too-convincingly.

"Even if you are just drained, it would still be a good idea to do a check up…make sure everything's okay," Hank said, backing Erik up.

"Well, damn it," Charles said, slurring again, his head flopping awkwardly against Erik's shoulder. He nuzzled a little closer, almost drunken in his exhaustion. Erik gave him an odd look before turning and pushing his way through the small crowd…no easy feat on a catwalk.

"Why did you do it?" Erik asked quietly as he moved through the silent corridor.

"Had to," the telepath mumbled, clinging weakly to his shirt and reminding Erik a little too much of the night they'd escaped from the camp. "I really do know…where they are…just off the coast of Virginia. Erik…I think…I think they're planning something…some kind of attack…and it's…it's going to happen soon. Something…awful," he whispered, almost too tired to speak now.

"I hear you, Charles, but you need to _rest_ now. We'll discuss everything when you're feeling better."

"'m not…Erik…'m so…so sleepy," he mumbled against the metal-kine's chest.

"Then sleep, mein Lieben," he told him, pressing a soft kiss to his lips before laying him down on a cot in the ward. Charles appeared to be asleep before Erik had even finished laying him down.

In truth, it was another ruse. He really _was_ exhausted and would probably be asleep soon, but the behavior was more for show than anything else. He just didn't want anyone to ask him anything else about what the other precog had shown him. He didn't want to see the knowing look in Destiny's eyes…the silence that said this event would one day come to pass. How could it? How could he _ever_…? And _why?_ Why on _Earth_ would Erik _ask_ him to shoot him? What was going to happen? _How_ could he stop this from happening?

"Erik…Erik…" he groaned weakly before finally dropping off to sleep.

XxX

Haley's wedding was a nice break from the intense training regimen Charles had implemented practically the moment he'd woken from his sleep. He still wouldn't acquiesce to Erik and Pele's request, but the others he trained intensely with. Artemis and Havok made excellent sparring partners. Artemis couldn't seem to hit him no matter what she threw at him, as his aim was getting better, and she could catch Havok's blasts with minimal effort now. As Destiny had predicted, she was also becoming very skilled with a bow and arrow. Hank was still hesitant in training, but he was becoming more comfortable in his own body, using the hulking thing as it was clearly meant to be used; and he and Alistair were going crazy taking the Blackbird on test flights. Banshee was able to maintain his flight time for much longer periods every day. It had come to a point where Charles had to ask him to avoid the mansion, as he might risk shattering the windows. Mystique and Destiny trained together, though Charles made a point of not asking what they did. He was fine with whatever, so long as there was no risk to Raine…and when he wasn't training or professoring in some way, he and Erik were tuned into her…listening in on her growth, telling her how much they loved her and couldn't wait to see her. She loved them, too…with such a purity, it was almost staggering. Pure love is a truly astounding thing to experience, and whenever either man grew angry with the other, Charles could simply tap into their daughter's deep well of love for them…and they would soon remember what it was they were fighting for…for _her_…for each other…for this life they had somehow forged together…this _love_. They were determined that nothing would take it away from them.

Even so, everyone needs a break from time to time, and the wedding was the perfect distraction. As Havok had predicted, Charles had to play several 'mind games' in order to keep the guests from noticing them, as Hank was pretty much noticeable wherever he went, and the rest of them still had some measure of fame after the Cuba fiasco; plus, there was the small matter of Erik supposedly being dead. Charles used a simple trick to conceal them. Every time one of the guests looked their way, that person's eyes would just slide somewhere else, thoughts already a million miles away. The group was effectively invisible.

Mostly, they were amused by the fact that virtually no one could see them, save for Haley and Chris, who spent a great deal of time with them, also amused by the fact that they were talking to invisible people. They, however, being the newlyweds, did have to go and mingle with the rest of the guests from time to time. It was during one of these forays back into the party that Erik and Charles found themselves alone at their table. The rest of the group was off dancing; Banshee had even gotten _Pele_ out on the floor.

"I don't think I mentioned this earlier, but you clean up very well, Mr. Lehnsherr," Charles said coyly. He had talked Erik out of his everyday wear and into a handsome tan suit…and Charles had to admit to himself, whenever Erik looked as fine as that, all he really wanted to do was rip the handsome clothes right back off.

Erik must have caught this last thought, because a smirk broke through his uncomfortable grimace. "You know…you could do it. _We_ could do it…right here and now…and no one would see us."

"Maybe so…but where would we be if I were to suddenly lose my concentration in the middle of things? Naked and sprawled out over a table with wedding cake on our bare arses. _Very_ desirable position."

"Well, at least they can't see _this_," he said, leaning over to capture Charles' lips with his own. They remained locked like that for a while, just enjoying the warm, comforting feel of each other. When they were finally forced to separate for air, they remained leaning against each other, their foreheads pressed gently together, eyes closed.

"We should be able to have this," Erik said, a clear note of longing in his voice.

"A wedding?" Charles asked, not daring to open his eyes.

"Yes. In _this_," Erik continued slowly, reaching for Charles' hand, "how are we different from any other couple?"

"Erik…" Charles began with a slightly bitter laugh, "they can hardly tolerate interracial couples. It will be a while yet before they can tolerate two men. Are you going to go to war against humanity for this, too?"

"If I have to," the metal-kine said, his quietly fierce tone at odds with the gentle position they currently shared. "I would go to war for you a thousand times over."

"I don't _want_ you to go to war. I want you by my side…to shag me senseless when I get too serious…to raise our child…to…to grow old together," he said quietly, suddenly feeling like he might cry.

"What if they won't _let_ us? Just as they won't let us have _this_."

"I would marry you, Erik," Charles interrupted, his voice suddenly aching and desperate as he clutched at the other man's hands. "I would lie down with you every night…kiss you every morning…and we'd argue over stupid things…and love each other…for as long as we both shall live," he said quietly, pressing his lips briefly against Erik's. "Isn't that enough? To know that I would…that I _do?_"

"Charles…what's wrong?" Erik asked, suddenly pulling back.

"W-what do you mean?" Charles asked, taken aback by the question.

"It isn't just the wedding…or this conversation," he said, though he did feel guilty for making him feel bad about this. "I can see it. You've been struggling to keep it together lately. What did you see…that night in Cerebro?"

Charles smiled sadly, his eyes bright with tears he refused to shed. He should have known Erik would notice eventually. He couldn't keep everything out of their bond.

"I…I can't _tell_ you," he whispered, realizing for the first time how Destiny must feel a lot of the time.

"Was it something to do with Raine?" he continued to prod. Charles just shook his head.

"Mystique?"

"Mm-mm."

"Me, then," he said after a moment of hesitation, knowing little else could possibly trouble the telepath so. "Something's going to happen to me."

"Erik…it's…it…I-"

"Well…I suppose all I can do is promise to stay alert," he said, rubbing Charles' hand reassuringly.

"I don't know…_when_ it's going to happen," he murmured, having no heart to tell him it wasn't something he could just 'stay alert' for. _He_ was the enemy he needed to escape from…and Erik would never run from him…not ever…no matter the cost that had to be paid in the end.

Before Erik could say anything more, Haley, Chris, Artemis, and Havok all staggered back to the table, laughing uproariously at something one of them had said. Artemis staggered a little too much for the professor's comfort. Rather than ask her, he took a peek inside her mind and saw that, yes, she had in fact had a glass of wine…and was not holding it very well from the looks of things. Quickly, both men gathered their composure so the children wouldn't notice anything.

"Eh…Haley, I would advise escorting Artemis to the bathroom, if you wouldn't mind. That's a lovely dress and I imagine you'd hate to see it covered in vomit."

Haley chuckled a little more at this, grabbing Artemis gently around the shoulders. "Sure thing, Prof. Come on, light weight," she said as she led Artemis away, the poor girl looking greener by the minute.

"I suppose I should scold you for underage drinking, but it is a party, after all. I _shudder_ to think what Banshee's getting into," Charles said, briefly glad that Pele could handle herself in most situations.

"Hey…why do you do that?" Chris asked all of a sudden.

"Do what?"

"Call each other those names? I mean, Hale kind of explained what it is you all do, but…why do you use the names when you're _not_ fighting? And you two don't even seem to _have_ codenames. What's the deal?"

"Well, some of us prefer the names we've fashioned for ourselves…like my sister and Destiny. It's a bit more complicated with some of the others…like Artemis and Pele…it's a bit more than codenaming. Sean varies from day to day on what he prefers to be called. Hank prefers his own name and, well…Havok…I don't believe you've made up your mind yet," Charles finished, turning his attention to the young blonde, who wasn't quite looking at him.

"After Cuba…it didn't feel right to go back to what we were before…especially since _you_ never could…not really…after what happened with Shaw."

Charles felt something inside of him ease a little at his student's acknowledgment of those events. He didn't know why…hadn't even really known the tightness was there…but for some reason, the sentiment touched him, and he knew it touched Erik, too, from the way he rested his hand on his knee.

"So I called the others by their codenames…encouraged 'em to use mine. A few months ago, I would've said 'call me Havok', no problem, but…then…"

"Artemis," Charles supplied for him, giving him an understanding smile.

"Yeah," he said, giving a small smile of his own. "She said my name…and it didn't sound bad the way the courts made it sound. She wouldn't call me anything else. So I guess…Alex is fine," he finally decided, looking up at them with resolve in his eyes.

"All right, then. Alex it is."

"Make it in time?" Erik suddenly asked, seeing Haley and Artemis stumbling back over.

"Barely. She missed the toilet a little bit," Haley said, giving the slightly shell-shocked wolf girl a descent thump on the back. Artemis nearly toppled off her feet.

"Hale," Alex chastised his sister with a smirk, going to collect his somewhat girlfriend from her and helping her sit at the table before disappearing to get her some water.

XxX

No one could see her. Of this, she was certain. Even if someone bumped into her, he wouldn't notice, because she would simply order his mind to believe nothing was there.

Emma Frost was leaning casually against the side of the CIA headquarters. From rendezvous past, she knew the exact spot where she was best able to communicate with Wyngarde. If all went according to plan, tonight would be the last night she needed to. Getting himself put under lockdown with the CIA had actually been a stroke of brilliance on his part and he'd been passing information to the Hellfire Club from inside for two months now. But Selene had still been the liaison to the Strykers and the young Colonel had informed her that his team was fully prepared for the sting and the operation would occur within the next two weeks.

_Nice night for a stroll, my dear Miss Frost?_ His rather annoyingly suave voice sounded in her head.

_Very nice. I assume you know the sting's meant to happen soon?_

_I know the very hour. _

_Then you know when you'll need to break yourself out? These pathetic creatures have no hope of taking Xavier without you and Selene. He needs to be out of commission before Stryker can take the others. _

_Yes, yes, I know. Perhaps they **can** handle metal-kines, tele-kines, and all the rest in between…but telepaths are something completely beyond their scope. I have a plan, lovely Emma. Selene and I will be where you need us when you need us. Shaw will soon possess Xavier, Lehnsherr, **and** their daughter._

_You __**do**__ know he'd prefer that none of them die in the attack, right?_ Emma asked, her cold tone suddenly becoming a shade uncertain.

_We're aware. I know this is meant to be a capture mission only. Selene and I hadn't thought to let any of them be killed if we can help it. Yet…you seem uncertain?_

_We've told Blindfold what we intend over and over again…but she keeps insisting one of them **will** die that night…and there's nothing we can do to prevent it. She won't say **who,** of course. That remains to be seen. Considering how hard we've worked on this, I suppose we're all just hoping it isn't Xavier or Lehnsherr._

_I see. Indeed, either one would be a feather in Shaw's cap, but to possess **both** of them…heh, the humans will tremble, and the child will be greater than **either** of them._

_Perhaps. Blindfold says there will be another child, a boy…that **he** will be the one to bear his fathers' legacy of power. _

_I suppose we'll see, now won't we. A telepath child is difficult to beat. I take it Blindfold hasn't told you the outcome of this plot?_

_No. She won't. She only says that the outcome is solely dependant on Xavier's choice…after what's to happen that night. The future is in **his** hands._

_Well…I suppose **most** people would be comforted by this, but…I'm not so sure. Any mind that can produce a being such as Onslaught…can that mind be trusted?_

_I don't know._

XxX

(A/N) Well, dear friends, I certainly hope you enjoyed your fluff, because I'm not giving you anymore. That's right. Next chapter, we're jumping right back into angsty-action mode. I'm thinking at this point, there might only be two more chapters. We shall see.


	17. Before the Sun Sets

(A/N) Just to drop you all a note here at the beginning of the chapter, this is the song Pele's playing in the first scene for anyone who's interested.

http:/ www. youtube. com /watch?v=OOD40RObk1A

Anime Fan 4 Life: No, I haven't seen it. I've been more hung up on Sherlock and Once Upon a Time more recently.

I would say enjoy, but…somehow, I'm almost afraid you won't.

**How Do You Measure…**

_Chapter 17: Before the Sun Sets_

On one of her weekend visits to the Xavier mansion, the last thing Elsie Lane had expected to be woken up by in the dead of night was the sound of furious violin playing. Yet that was what she heard when she woke suddenly. Pulling on a robe, she went in search of the noise, eventually coming upon the music room. Charles had warned her that Pele liked to practice, but _this_ seemed a little excessive.

The little girl was pacing furiously as she ground out her tune on the strings, not even really looking where she was going, just moving in circles as she produced the music.

"Odd choice for the middle of the night," the teacher commented as she entered the room. Letting out a tiny yelp, Pele clutched the violin to her chest as she whipped around to face her. This in itself surprised Elsie even more. In all her encounters with the eight-year-old, she had never seen her lose composure or off her guard.

"What are you doing in here?" she ended up demanding when she'd determined there was no threat. Slowly, she drew the instrument back up to her shoulder and leaned her cheek against it.

"I heard you. I wanted to know what was going on. Can't sleep?" she asked, taking a seat at the piano bench.

"No," she said, looking away from her as she strummed out several notes: a slower version of what she'd been playing before. "Charles and Erik haven't been sleeping, either. I guess it's catching…even without my power. Artemis has been having trouble sleeping, too."

"I know, but Alex helps her," Elsie said, not entirely comfortable with the knowledge that her fifteen-year-old daughter shared a bed with a nineteen-year-old boy, but she believed them when they swore nothing was going on. Admittedly, Charles' reassurance hadn't been remiss either. "Is something wrong? Does Charles think something's going to happen? Is that why you all have been training so hard?"

"He _knows_ something's going to happen…he just doesn't know when or what, exactly. Something's…very wrong," she said, her violin going silent.

"Interesting choice of music," she commented casually, stroking some of the piano keys. "I don't think I've ever heard the style before."

"You probably wouldn't have. It's from a composer in Japan. Charles thought I might like her music, so he procured records for me. I figured out the notation myself."

"Impressive."

"Thank you," she said, not acknowledging the praise as she typically would. "This piece is called 'Catastrophe.' I found it to be a suitable channel."

Elsie was about to comment on the choice when both of them suddenly heard a strange _bamf_ sort of noise. Pele's eyes widened in fear.

"Do you…smell sulfur?"

Before Elsie could even think about it, two other people suddenly appeared in the room with them: a woman with dark hair and a man who appeared to be more a demon than a man. The older woman barely even heard the sound the piano keys made as she fell back against them, crying out in shock. The two new arrivals ignored her, though…in favor of the shocked child standing at the far side of the room.

"Azazel…Selene…" she whispered, her voice calm, but fear evident in her round red eyes.

"Hello, Pele," Selene said, a cruel smile lighting her cold face.

"Shaw will be…_intrigued_ to know you still live, I think," Azazel said, his own expression a match for Selene's in cruelty.

"You- you stay away from me," she ordered, stumbling back several steps and raising a hand threateningly to her temple. "I'll kill you both. I won't hold back."

"Don't bother. We know you're helpless. Xavier depowered you. You couldn't hurt us even if you wanted to," Selene mocked.

"Come," Azazel said, holding a hand out to her.

"I won't go back!" she snarled at them vehemently, somehow managing to keep her terror in check.

"No need to worry about that. We aren't going back…not yet, anyway. We have other plans for you this night," Selene said.

"What are you going to do?"

"If you don't come with us…I'll kill the woman," Selene warned, holding up a hand. "All it takes is one touch. You know that. You don't want her death on your hands, do you? I know Xavier's started to rub off on you."

For a moment, the little girl's gaze darted between Elsie and the two mutants before her head finally slumped in defeat.

"All right…I'll go with you," she said, laying her precious violin on the ground and moving toward them.

"Pele, don't!" Elsie shouted, shooting up from the bench. "You can't go with them! Don't worry about me."

Pele regarded her a moment once she'd reached the other two, her expression indecipherable.

"Artemis would be sad if you died," she said before taking Azazel's hand. The three vanished instantly.

XxX

Artemis remained still as a statue upon waking from her sleep. She was impervious to the comfort of the bed on which she lay and the warmth of Alex's arms around her. The hair rose on the back of her neck and her skin pricked with warning as her body tensed. Though she had been mostly inactive for several months, instinct was not a thing so easily abandoned. Artemis was a predator once again…the Hunter Who Cannot Fail…and she sensed a threat to herself and her mate.

Shaking Alex from his sleep took only a moment, and she shushed him before he could give them away.

"Not a sound," she whispered into his ear. "We're being hunted."

Briefly, Alex's eyes widened in confusion, but he didn't question her. He followed her when she rose silently from the bed. Just when they reached the door, it flew open and a canister was tossed inside, the door slamming shut behind it.

"Gas!" Alex shouted as the plastic canister began to spew.

Artemis felt no fear. The calm of her wolf heritage took over as she called the canister to her hand and ripped the door free of its hinges, tossing the smoking thing into the crowd of black clad soldiers standing poised in the hallway.

In the confusion, the two bolted from the room. A few of the soldiers attempted to give chase, but the door trick had caught them by surprise. Artemis and Alex easily lost them. Once they'd gotten away, they ducked into another room. Artemis was still calm and collected, but Alex was already breathing hard from the sudden sprint.

"What's going on out there?"

"We're under attack."

"The government. They finally tracked us," Alex said, pounding a fist against the floor in anger. "So _this_ is what the professor was waiting for. Could've sworn it was gonna be the Hellfire Club."

"Whoever it is, we need to find the professor and Erik. They'll know what to do."

"What about the others?"

"Sean, Hank, Mystique, and Destiny can definitely handle themselves."

"What about your mom? And the Kinrosses and Pele?"

"We'll find them if we can, but we can't help anyone unless we find the professor. He'll be able to see what's going on. Let's move," she said, the fierce, uncompromising hunter completely taking the place of the sweet, curious girl Alex was used to.

XxX

As Pele had said, Charles and Erik had not been sleeping well since the wedding. In order to avoid total exhaustion, they'd worked out something of a system where one of them would remain on watch for part of the night and the other would take the second half. Nothing had happened yet, but they both knew it was coming.

On this particular night, Charles was the one awake with Erik sleeping fitfully at his side. It was around one in the morning and he was supposed to have woken Erik up for his shift about twenty minutes ago, but for some reason, he just couldn't bring himself to wake the other man. As he tossed lightly in his sleep, Charles ran soothing fingers through his hair, sending him waves of warmth, comfort, safety, and love. The waves ceased the moment their door opened, though.

"Isn't this sweet…the lovers on their last night together."

It wasn't so much the implications of the man's words that horrified Charles so much as the fact that it was the man he'd seen in the vision of the future that had spoken them.

"How did you get in here…without my knowing it?" he asked calmly, sensing that Erik was already awake.

"I am a master illusionist, Charles Xavier, equal to even _you_ in many respects. I simply told your mind I wasn't here…and you didn't see me."

"It was you," Charles said, the pieces suddenly starting to come together in his mind. "You were the one who attacked the children…the mind eater."

The man chuckled. "Yes, it was me."

"Why? What do you want?"

"Nothing entirely unreasonable. Just you and your lover. After all, Shaw worked so hard on the both of you. It would be a shame to lose that power now. Of course, we'll have your _child's_ power, as well."

"The Hellfire Club will _never_ lay hands on our daughter," Charles declared, his face twisting into a glare. He didn't bother to ask how he knew about Raine. If they, too, had a precog on their side, the answer was clear.

Before the man could comment on this bold declaration, three more people suddenly popped into existence. Azazel and Pele…along with the woman from the vision.

_Oh, God…_

"You can go, Azazel. We'll call when we need you," Selene informed him, taking Pele from him and holding her tightly. Azazel nodded before disappearing again.

"All the head games, Wyngarde…I should have known it was you," Pele spat bitterly in his direction.

"Pele, you know who this is?" Charles asked her, a slightly stricken look on his face.

"Yes…Jason Wyngarde…a master of illusions. He and Selene are branch leaders of the Hellfire Club. Shaw got the whole thing going, but…well…the world's a big place, I suppose," she said, her gaze shifting between her two captors.

"Please…let the girl go. Whatever's going on here, it's between the four of us. Don't hurt her anymore," Charles pleaded.

"You should be less worried about the people in this room. We're quite safe. It's the ones outside you ought to save your worry for," Wyngarde said with a sneer.

"What do you mean?" Charles asked, trying to stretch out his mind, only to find that he couldn't touch anyone else. He seemed to be confined to the bedroom.

"You can't see it now. I've created the illusion of a deserted house, but at this very moment, your precious students are being taken into custody by a special team of black ops agents."

"Don't you _dare_ harm them!" Charles said fiercely as he leapt up from the bed.

"We have no interest in that, but…what can I say?" Wyngarde said with a shrug. "_Accidents_…will happen."

Before anyone could say anything more, Erik suddenly sprang up from the bed, a blade flying through the air directly at Wyngarde. The illusionist stepped aside at the last minute and the blade flew harmlessly by, but Erik didn't react with anger. Instead he turned slowly to look at Charles, his face a mask of horror.

"No…no…oh, God, _no!_" he cried out.

"Erik…what is it?" Charles asked him, kneeling back on the bed. Erik didn't seem to see this, though.

"He can't hear you," Wyngarde explained, his tone almost gleeful. "Would you like to know what _he_ saw happen?"

Instantly, the scene began to replay itself in Charles' head. The knife flew true, but then it suddenly turned back on itself and struck _him_ in the chest instead. He saw himself fall…saw the blood seep from his chest…

"Erik…no…_no_…it isn't _real_. I'm right here. I'm _fine_. Can't you _see_ me?" he pleaded fruitlessly with him, trying to touch him, but unable to reach him for some reason.

Erik was lost to the world, seeing only blood…always blood…always…

"You can't protect him. You've never been able to protect anyone," Wyngarde mocks as the world fades away around him. Images flash through his head…his family…all dead…Max, shot point blank…Mama, dead because he couldn't move a damn coin…Papa, gassed…his bones pulled from the crematorium…and now Charles…broken just as badly as he is…stabbed through the heart with _his knife!_

"Even if people give you comfort…all you can do is destroy them in the end. You will be the _death_ of Charles Xavier."

"_Please_…forgive me for what I've done to you!" he cries out, reaching through the darkness for a man he can no longer see.

Then he sees Charles as he found him that night…broken nearly beyond repair.

_**I**__ did this…I __**let**__ this happen…it's __**my fault**__. I may as well have raised a hand to you myself. No matter how much I love you…I can't protect you from my own demons._

Slowly, Charles reaches a bloodied hand toward him, trying so hard to smile through the pain.

"It's…all right. It's not…that bad," he rasps as a small trickle of blood drips from his mouth.

Always blood…so much _blood!_

"Why do you do that?" he finds himself asking. "Why do you try to hide your pain from me? It doesn't make anything better."

Somehow, even though he's trapped in a dark nightmare of his own, Charles hears this. He can't reach out to Erik; he's chained down…but he can still speak.

"I didn't want…to cause you more pain. You've suffered enough for one lifetime…more than enough…too much…mein Erik. If I can stop…even a little bit of that hurt…it's worth the pain."

"You _don't_ stop it, though," Onslaught's voice suddenly hisses in his ear. "You make it _worse_. _Because_ he loves you so, he cannot _help_ but feel your pain. You can't hope to sever the ties that bind you together so easily. You both live…and you both love…therefore, you will both suffer for it in your turn."

"I'm…fine with suffering," he says, not daring to meet the blazing gaze of his other self. "But…_he_ shouldn't have to."

"There you go again. It doesn't work like that, Charles. As _you_ want _him_ not to be in pain, so, too, does _he_ want the same for _you_…to stop your suffering forever. Can he? Can he ever _truly_ make it _all_ go away?"

"No," Charles murmurs, feeling the whispers of Cain and Shaw at his back.

"Then don't think _you_ can stop _his_…unless you wanted to let _me_ try, of course," his other says, taking his chin in hand and forcing him to look up.

"Stop…please…don't do this…not now…" Charles pleads weakly.

"When, then? When the humans have destroyed everything you hold dear? When Shaw has turned your daughter into a weapon? All the world's against you, Charles. You want them to be safe, don't you? Your Erik and your Raine?"

"More than anything."

"If you don't want your child to share yours and Erik's fate…you have to make _yourself_ the weapon. Only _you_ can do it. Only _you_ can create the world both you and Erik dream of. The future is in _your_ hands."

"I…I…"

XxX

Artemis and Havok had reached the last flight of stairs that led to the room where Charles and Erik slept. Both had been calling mentally to the professor the entire time, but had gotten no response from him…and now they thought they knew why. Two of the soldiers were standing guard at the foot of the stairs. The two didn't really need words to communicate what they were thinking, just a few simple glances.

_Maybe they got 'em?_

_Maybe…but the only way we'll know is to fight through these guys._

Stepping into view, the two men quickly spotted them, but before they could sound an alarm, Artemis used her power to smack their heads together, leaving them to slump to the ground in a dazed heap. They were just about to bolt up the stairs when they heard feet pounding onto the landing.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," one of the men said as he pulled off his gas mask. At his signal, two of the others came forward, dragging Hank and Sean between them, unconscious. Rather than pull guns on them, the two soldiers had knives to their necks.

"Surrender yourselves…or these two will die."

Again, the pair shared a brief glance.

_No choice…_

Slowly, they both moved back down the stairs, hands raised. Once they'd reached the soldiers, they were forced to the ground, knives pressed to their necks.

"You're a strong pair, aren't you," the man who appeared to be their leader said, taking each of them by the chin in turn and looking them over. "I know we only have you because of your own grace. You could easily kill us all. We could use people like you."

"Don't let them fool you, William. They'd never work for us…not really," another man said as he came up the stair from the lower level. Even in the dim moonlight, Alex recognized him.

"Stryker," he hissed, glaring at the old man.

The CIA agent smiled at the recognition, but he gave no acknowledgment other than that. "They're like a pack of rabid dogs. They should be put down as soon as possible," he said, back-handing Artemis across the face. As she struggled to right herself, Alex fought against his captors.

"Artemis!"

"Havok, don't," she tried to soothe him, using the codename, as they'd all agreed to do in battle. "It'll be all right."

"Have some patience, Dad. We _did_ agree to bring them all out alive in exchange for the intel to enter this place."

"We should at least make an example of one of them."

"Sir," a new soldier reported as he escorted Elsie onto the landing. "We've got a civilian."

"Artemis!" Elsie called out upon seeing the predicament her child was in.

"Sure she's not a mutant?" the colonel asked.

"She says not, and she hasn't displayed any powers yet."

"What would a human be doing here?" the elder Stryker asked her.

"Artemis…is my daughter."

"What's your name?"

"Leto," she answered, going with the codename she'd chosen for herself. Even if she had no power, no one could know her true identity if she was to be involved with them.

"Either way, you've got the genes to produce mutant scum," the elder Stryker said derisively.

"Don't we all," she snapped back.

"You're no better than the rest of them!"

"Are there any other civilians in this house?" the colonel questioned her.

"No," she lied.

"Do a sweep," Stryker ordered two of his men. "Who have we not heard from?"

"Squad C hasn't reported in yet. The metamorph and the precog," one of the men reported.

Almost as if on cue, one of the soldiers let out a gurgling-sounding cry. He fell forward, the neat slit in his throat spilling blood onto the floor. Two more men went down in the exact same way before the others could even react. Mystique managed to kill three and wound two more before they could figure out which one of their number didn't belong. Six dead all in an instant. When one of the men attempted to grab her, the knife she'd stolen from her first assailant sailed cleanly through a chink in his body armor and into a lung. No doubt Squad C was already lying in pieces somewhere.

Destiny 'watched' Mystique shift into her true form from where she hid down the hall. To anyone else, it might have looked like Mystique was going to win the day…but Destiny wasn't anyone else, unfortunately.

She had known the outcome of this night for a long time now…and even though she had determined long before to stand back and allow it to happen…even now, she was being torn in two.

She could feel little Raine shifting inside of her, making a fuss. Her range was gradually extending and she could sense that something was wrong now.

_Hush, little one. Everything's going to be all right, _she lied.

Raine still wasn't thinking in words, so much as images and feelings, and the sense she got from her now was something along the line of, _I want my Daddy and my Papa. I don't feel good. Something's wrong._

_They'll be here soon. They'll come,_ again she lied. They wouldn't come in time.

She had seen the events…kept herself awake many a night thinking about them. She _knew_ what was to happen tonight…and yet…no one had told her she would come to love this child so much.

Could she live with herself if she let this happen?

XxX

Charles doesn't know how he would have answered his dark other…because that's the moment Erik's by his side, wrapping his arms protectively around him, despite the chains.

"Don't listen to him," he says fiercely, sending a glare toward the doppelganger.

"You don't…want that?" Charles asks numbly.

"Not like this…not if I have to give _you_ up in order to do it. I don't want it to ever happen again…what I saw that night."

"But you _do_ want it," Onslaught prodded as he began to circle them, a predatory smile on his face.

"Of _course_ I want it. Who _wouldn't_ want freedom and dignity for his people?"

"Your _people?_ You came to that conclusion awfully fast, didn't you…Erik Lehnsherr? You abandoned the nation of your birth when you lost your faith. It took you all of a week after learning you weren't a one-of-a-kind freak to decide that mutantkind were your _people_. Will you tire of _them_ one day, too?"

"No!" Erik defends brusquely.

"And yet…you cannot be trusted…trusted to _commit_," Onslaught accuses, a knowing sneer lighting his eyes. "You've led such a transient life. Can you really stay tied down like this? Can we _trust_ you?"

"Don't plural yourself with Charles like that. You're _not_ him."

"Can't you love me, too, Erik? After all, I'm still a part of Charles. I always will be. You say we should all have the right to be what we are, but you can't even accept the darkness in your lover's heart. Can you ever really love _all_ of Charles?"

"Stop this!"

"You didn't…answer the question…" Charles finds himself saying, unable to stop the words from slipping out.

"Charles?" Erik murmurs in quiet shock as he glances at him. "What…what are you saying?"

"Can we trust you…to stay?"

"Don't do this, Charles. He's trying to make you doubt me. Can't you see what's happening?" he pleaded with him, suddenly feeling fearful.

"Answer the question, then."

"Of _course_ you can trust me!"

"Really? Even though all you want is to start some kind of war against humanity? Because no matter how much you claim to _love_ me, you could never choose a life of peace with me and our child!" He's shouting now…so angry…why does it hurt so much?

"I don't want that war for myself, Charles," Erik says softly. "I want it for _you_…and for _Raine_. I don't want what happened to me to happen to either of you. I just want _you_ to be safe."

"At what cost?" Charles whispers. He can't be angry at such a wish…he just _can't_ be. "How long are we going to pretend it didn't happen?"

"What?"

"Dresden," Charles says, feeling the word scorch his tongue. "London. The things you did…to save my life."

They're in The Cell now…and Charles is in the wheelchair again. Erik slowly sinks to his knees, resting his hands in Charles' lap in something like supplication.

"Charles, I didn't…I never meant…"

"I know you didn't, but what scares me is that it means nothing to you. The child you heard that night…that was someone else's precious Raine…and you can't see that."

"That isn't _true_," he insists.

"What would you do if our Raine was born a human?" Charles asks him suddenly.

"I…can't deny I'd be disappointed, but I'd still _love_ her, Charles…because she's yours and mine."

"Yours and mine," Charles whispers, a disquiet look coming into his eyes. Something…something's wrong…

_Raine…?_

Quite suddenly, he hears the sound of a baby crying. The sound is so loud, he can't help clutching his head in pain.

_Scared…scared…so scared. Daddy! _

"Raine?"

"What is it?" he hears Erik asking.

"Something…something's wrong. Erik…we shouldn't be here. It's Raine. I can hear her."

"Is she all right?" he asks, the argument instantly forgotten.

"She's afraid…Erik…she _needs_ us. This…this isn't _real_," he hisses, suddenly remembering his words from earlier. He clings to that conviction with every ounce of power he can muster. This splintering world…isn't real. Their daughter is real…and her fear is real…her need for them.

_It isn't real._

With that, the illusion shatters around them and the two found themselves back on their bed, kneeling before each other. Briefly, they both reached out a hand to clasp the other, breathing hard.

"Charles! Erik!" Pele shouted.

"Mm, drat. You really _are_ powerful. I had hoped my little illusion would hold you longer than that," Wyngarde said with a languid sneer.

"What have you done?" Charles demanded. "What's going on out there?"

"You want to find out? All right…but first we're going to play a little game," he said, drawing something out of his long coat…a gun…_the_ gun. "I found this little thing in your collection while the two of you were off in dreamland. I thought we could have a little fun with it."

_No, no, no, __**God**__, no!_

"Come here, Mr. Xavier," Wyngarde commanded, gesturing to Charles with the pistol. For a moment, he's numb…unable to move. It's happening now…_right now_. What can he do?

"Do as he says…or little Pele will regret the day she was born," Selene warned him, tightening her grip on the young girl just slightly.

Slowly, Charles nodded, moving stiffly toward them. When he finally reached them, Wyngarde placed the gun in his hands.

"Stand over there," the illusionist ordered Erik, nodding to the far side of the bedroom. Erik complied, keeping his eyes locked onto them the entire time.

"If you're so anxious to get out of here, Charles, there's only one way of doing it. Shoot him," Wyngarde ordered. "And don't even _think_ of using your power to block it. I'd know the moment you do_,_" he warned Erik.

Charles didn't quite register this at first. All he could do was stare at the glint of metal resting in his hands.

Raine…Raine _needed_ them. He could hear her…but…Erik…

"Shaw…doesn't want both of us?" he finally managed to make himself ask.

"I know he'd prefer it, but if worse comes to worst, I know he'd want you. I have some games of my own, after all."

"Just do it! Go ahead and shoot me," Erik ordered, his expression tense.

"Erik…"

"Damn it, Charles, don't do this!" Pele shouted. "I can take a little pain. It means nothing to me."

"Don't assume it would be just pain, little girl," Selene threatened.

_We can't do this right now. Raine needs us. You have to do what needs to be done._

Almost without thinking, Charles leveled the gun at him…_a beretta_, Erik's mind supplied unhelpfully…a smaller model, good for concealment, but it was still capable of killing a man from fifty meters.

_You're shaking. Hold it with both hands; it'll steady you,_ Erik coached him.

_I…I'll aim somewhere non-vital,_ he insisted as he did what Erik asked, but the metal-kine shook his head.

_No, you have to give them a show._

"Charles," Erik said aloud, slowly pointing his thumb at the center of his chest, "aim right here…and don't miss."

Charles watched as if in a nightmare. Unlike before, he knew what Erik was thinking now…but he didn't know if his idea could _possibly_ work at this range.

_Why are you doing this to me?_

_This isn't about them anymore; it's about you and me. If you think you can't trust me, I want you to know that **I** trust **you**. I trust you with my **life.**_

Charles closed his eyes for several moments, grounding himself. What if…this didn't work?

_No. Don't think about it. It __**must**__ work!_

"No, Charles!" Pele shouted at him, starting to realize this was really going to happen. "You _can't_ shoot Erik!"

"Iolana!" he shouted over her pleas. He remembered the line perfectly, but it wasn't that which compelled him to say it…it was a sense of actually _feeling_ it, even though he'd never held much stock in the power of religion. His voice was nearly a whisper now.

"_Please_, Iolana. I need you to pray for Erik for me."

He blocked her shock from his mind, focusing in on Erik's calm surety, his eyes zeroed in on the spot Erik had indicated.

It was like an out-of-body experience in the moment his finger pulled the trigger…like he could see himself fire…stumbled back from the unexpected force of the shot…briefly saw the bullet fly…heard himself cry out when it struck Erik in the chest.

Erik fell back, thrown by the force of the projectile at such a close range. Charles threw the weapon aside, knowing even then that he would never touch a gun again. He ran to Erik, throwing himself down on top of him and tearing up his nightshirt.

_Erik? Erik, can you hear me!_

Just as Erik gave a loud cough and a groan, banishing all doubt, Charles saw the bullet, smashed into the pendant he'd given him. Somehow, against all odds, he had hit that one spot. It shouldn't have worked; Erik should be dead right now. He hadn't even known if the pendant would stand up to the bullet, let alone if he could hit it.

"That's…gonna leave a mark," Erik groaned, reaching up to rub his chest. Being careful, Charles pulled him into his arms, burying his face in his neck.

"You _fool_," he hissed against his skin, fighting to hold back tears. "You bloody…sodding…_fool_. I could have _killed_ you."

"But you didn't," Erik soothed, returning the embrace.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you. I didn't mean it. I _do_ trust you. I love you so much, Erik."

"It's okay, mein Schatz. It was just a nightmare."

"Naughty little children," Wyngarde's voice suddenly broke in on them. "You tricked me."

"We played your stupid game, Wyngarde," Charles bit back, not looking at him. "Can we go now?"

If Wyngarde answered, Charles didn't hear him. His head suddenly exploded with Destiny's fearful voice.

_Charles! You have to come __**now!**__ It's Stryker! God, I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. You have to come! You have…to save her! It's Raine! Oh, God, it's Raine! He's going to…__**please!**__ I can't do it! I can't let her…God, help us!_

"We have to go!" Charles shouted as he leapt up, barely taking time to help Erik up.

"What's going on down there?" Pele asked as the other three fell into step with the two fathers.

"It's Agent Stryker. He's going to hurt Raine."

XxX

Mystique fought well, but even she wasn't quite a match for a black ops unit trained to fight mutants for several months. It didn't take Agent Stryker long to find Destiny after Mystique had been subdued.

"You'll be the fortuneteller, then, Mactaggert," he said as he dragged her from the alcove she'd been watching from. "They said you wouldn't be far behind the metamorph. Always knew it was a bad idea, letting women into the service. I told you you'd regret lying to me."

When Stryker dragged Destiny out onto the landing, something began to change. As Artemis watched her, she began to get a very distinct sense from her…fear…the fear of a rabbit whose neck is about to be snapped by a wolf's crushing jaw. Something terrible was about to happen…and as the certainty solidified in her gut, the wolf girl felt something inside of her snap. She fought furiously against her captors, feeling nothing when blades bit into her skin.

"Let her go! _Let her go!_" she screamed. "You can't _do_ this!"

She'd managed to seriously claw up the face of one of her captors and had nearly crushed the heart of the other before one of the soldiers smashed the hilt of his knife against the side of her head. With a sickening crunch, she dropped to the floor like a stone, completely unmoving.

"Artemis!" Alex and Elsie both cried out. Mystique was so injured, she could barely manage a groan.

"What's so special about this one, hmm?" Stryker pondered as two soldiers grabbed Destiny and roughly forced her to her knees. "Could it be the mutant spawn she's carrying?" he suggested, drawing a blade of his own and using it to raise her nightshirt, exposing her swollen belly. As the others watched, he used the very tip of the dagger to trace the stretched skin.

"You monster!" Elsie snarled. "What has the baby done?"

"It'll probably be born a mutant. That's bad enough without letting it go any farther."

"You don't know that."

"Dad, give it a rest. I let you come on this mission on the condition you listen to me, and I say you're taking things a bit far," Colonel Stryker warned, placing a hand on his father's shoulder. The older man shrugged him off immediately.

"It'll never be far enough! We can't allow more of these _freaks_ to be born!" he shouted, raising the knife to Destiny's stomach once again.

"Please…" the former agent begged as tears streamed silently down her face. "Don't hurt her…she's just…" she couldn't manage anymore. All she could do in that moment was scream for Charles in her mind and pray he somehow heard her through the Hell she knew he was experiencing. She couldn't do it. She wasn't strong enough to let this happen when she could stop it…no matter what the consequences might be.

Before Stryker could make a move though, the blade was suddenly shot out of his hand. Everyone turned to look down the staircase to find Moira and Alistair about halfway up, both armed. Dr. Kinross was the one who had fired, though.

"Back away from my girl," she ordered fiercely, ready to fire off another round. Having lived through two world wars, the old doctor was always prepared for anything that might happen.

"Heheh, okay, grandma, _I'll_ back off," he said, taking only two steps back, "but if you come all the way up here, you'll find we've got knives trained on all your friends. Who's faster? Want to bet on it?"

_Mum, please,_ Destiny called to her mind. _This is dangerous. Someone still might die. We have to wait for Charles and Erik._

Moira hesitated for several minutes, but she ultimately decided her daughter was right. This was a standoff they couldn't win. Slowly, she and Alistair moved up the stairs, laying their weapons at Stryker's feet before going to join the others.

"Now, then, where were we? Oh, yes, I remember," Stryker said, looking to one of the men that held Destiny down. "Preston, mind if I borrow your knife?"

"Sir," the man acknowledged before handing the dagger over. Once again, it was poised to tear into Destiny's exposed stomach.

"You people need to learn better than to fight against us. We're not going to just lay down and die for you. So I'll make an example of this precious spawn of yours, right here, right _now!_"

"_NO!_" a cry sounded from above. This time, they all looked up to see Charles, Erik, Pele, Selene, and Wyngarde standing on the upper landing.

"You?" the younger Stryker demanded upon seeing Wyngarde. "What the Hell are you doing here? How did you escape? You're one of them, aren't you!"

"You _dare_ to threaten _her?_" Erik's voice sounded over Stryker's, quiet, but somehow a hundred times more thundering than he could ever hope to be. His rage barely contained, the metal-kine raised a hand to summon the blade to him…only to find he couldn't sense it. Spreading his senses out, he found that none of the men were wearing any metal at all.

"Ah, you noticed that, did you," the elder Stryker gloated, waving the blade through the air. "Some humans do learn. These are _ceramic_ blades. How do you like that…Magneto?"

Erik might have noticed the guns at Stryker's feet, but the old man didn't give him the chance. He seized Destiny by the throat and pulled her to her feet, swinging the blade in a wide arc in preparation for sinking it into her defenseless womb.

"_Die,_" Wyngarde's commanding voice suddenly lanced through the air, straight at Bill Stryker.

It wasn't an attack to be dodged. The psychic imperative was so strong, the old man had no choice but to obey, no matter how strong his will was. He crumpled to the floor, the life cut out of him all in an instant. Destiny dropped beside him, just at the top of the stairs.

"_Dad!_" William Stryker cried out when he saw his father fall. Not thinking, he went for one of the pistols that the Kinrosses had surrendered, firing off only a single shot.

Erik didn't think to deflect the bullet, knowing from the feel of it that neither himself, Charles, nor Pele was the intended target. Wyngarde's only weapon against the bullet would have been to read the intention in Stryker's mind…but the decision had been made much too spontaneously for that. Therefore, Stryker's one shot flew true, striking the illusionist in the stomach.

"Jason!" Selene cried out, catching him in her arms as he fell back. It was only after the first shot had been fired that Erik thought to take the gun away from him.

"We trusted you, Wyngarde! And _this_ is how you repay us? My father was right. I should've listened. You're all nothing but vicious beasts! I'll see to it you're all put down…starting with _this_ one!" he snarled, turning on Destiny.

Destiny was still in the process of getting up from her fall. Even so, she could still see it coming. She had tried to stop this from happening…couldn't. It seemed this event was just meant to happen…one way or another. Tears began to pour down her face as Stryker's hands made contact with her shoulders, shoving her backward and out into empty air.

All Destiny could hear as she fell down the stairs was Charles' horrified scream.

XxX

(A/N) (looking guilty) Yeah, I'm a monster. I think we've pretty thoroughly established that.


	18. No Day But Today

(A/N) Well, my friends, here we are at the last chapter. Hopefully, you've all enjoyed my little story and I've captivated you all at least half as much as I did with my first story.

**How Do You Measure…**

_Chapter 18: No Day But Today_

Even in the dim light, Charles could see every detail as Destiny went crashing down the stairs. He could feel and hear both hers and Raine's pain every time her bulging stomach smashed against a stair ledge. Above this, he could hear a scream of horrified denial. It took him a moment to realize the scream was his own.

As one, both he and Erik raced down the two flights of stairs before any of the others could even react. They were only moments behind Destiny when she came to rest awkwardly on the floor. Alistair and Dr. Kinross weren't far behind.

As Alistair gathered his little sister in his arms and Moira checked both her and the baby, Charles reached out for Raine's mind with his own. It didn't take much to feel how much pain she was in.

_Daddy…Daddy, it hurts. I don't feel good. Why does it hurt? Please make it stop…please, Daddy._

He could hear her crying…and her pain was the most heart-wrenching thing he had ever known because he knew there was nothing he could do to stop it.

_It's going to be okay, baby girl,_ he half-lied. _We're here now. You're going to be just fine._

"Charles…we need to get her below _right now_," Moira explained to him, quietly and mostly calmly. "Her water's broken."

"_What?_"

"Destiny's not too badly injured, but the baby's hurt. She's going into labor _now._ Raine could die unless we hurry."

"But it's only…seven months. It isn't time yet," he mumbled in mild shock.

"There's no choice. She's badly hurt; I _know_ you realize that. This might be the only way to save her life. If we can just get her stabilized…"

"All right."

"Are you done playing around down there?" Stryker demanded. "We have business."

Upon hearing his voice, something inside of Charles just _snapped_. He leapt to his feet, turning enraged eyes to the human standing on the landing above him.

"You. _You_ did this," he hissed, his voice calm, but so enraged as to sound like a deafening clap of thunder. "You hurt my daughter. I'll make you _pay_, William Stryker!"

He was sick of it…sick of being weak and helpless…sick of playing the pacifist…sick of trying to fight a clean war. He was sick to _death_ of it. His baby girl was crying…and he couldn't bear it anymore…not when he had the power to stop it.

_Yes…give yourself over to me…Charles Xavier,_ he heard Onslaught's voice in his head…soothing…seductive…the power to destroy the people who had hurt his innocent child.

_Kill them! Kill them all!_

A whisper of telekinetic wind rustled through the air, ruffling Charles' curls as his eyes suddenly began to blaze with their blue fire. Slowly, he began to move up the stairs toward Stryker. The moment Erik realized what was happening, his own rage and hatred vanished, concern for Charles taking their place. As Alistair and Moira gently lifted Destiny between them in order to move her, Erik went after Charles.

Pele also realized what was happening as the telekinetic wind grew stronger, gusting all around them. If Charles kept this up, Onslaught would break free.

"Charles! _NO!_" she shouted as she ran down the stairs.

For a moment, Stryker looked pleased by the rage he'd inspired in the telepath. He didn't yet understand his peril. He began to, though, when Charles raised a hand and sent him flying across the landing, his body crashing harshly against the far staircase. Moving slowly, his eyes fairly sparking with power, he crossed the landing, mindless of the looks of horror he was receiving from both friend and enemy at the moment. All he could see was Stryker…all he desired was to cause him pain. Sneering gloriously as the last of his control began to fail, he raised the colonel in the air. That was when he felt a pair of arms wrap securely around him, holding him tightly.

"Please…don't do this," a soothing voice whispered as a pair of lips kissed his ear. A head rested itself in the crook of his neck, nuzzling as the hands clung tightly to him. "Don't leave us…don't leave _me_. I still need you. We _all_ need you. _Raine_ needs you. This scum isn't worth it…not this."

"Erik…" he whispered back, the fire in his eyes instantly flickering out as everything came rushing back to him. The wind died down and Stryker dropped to the floor as Charles turned his head to the side to press a kiss to Erik's lips, clinging to him just as tightly, shocked by what he'd almost allowed to happen.

"Raine needs us right now," Erik repeated. "We can deal with him later."

"Thank you…thank you, Erik," he whispered, nearly in tears. All he _wanted_ to do right now was curl up against his lover and just forget…but there were still other things to be dealt with…_trash_ to be taken out.

Stryker was staring up at them in shock, as if he still couldn't comprehend them, even after witnessing their intimacy with his own eyes. A twinge of his near miss still lingering in his system, Charles knelt over the colonel, grabbing him by the collar and pulling him close as he brought his telepathy to bear on him and all the soldiers.

"You will gather your dead. If asked, you will say they died in a mission overseas. You will set this up so that _no one_ asks questions. Your father died of a heart attack. You will leave this place…and you will erase every scrap of information having to do with us and the school. You will forget this night…forget our names and faces…but for the rest of your lives, you will feel you have done something horrible and must atone for it. When you have carried out my orders, you will return home and go to sleep. You will remember _nothing_," he hissed.

As the men fell into a trance, slowly releasing their captives and moving to carry out his instructions, he pressed his lips to Stryker's ear. He whispered harshly, but he knew the others could hear him. He couldn't help but project his own rage and pain in a moment like this.

"As for _you_, William Stryker…forget my face…forget my name…never look on me again…but you will _fear_ me…unknown, unseen, but _afraid_, nonetheless…the vengeful Fury at your back…ever hunting…ever fleeing the darkness. Every time you look on your own child, you will feel as if you've lost something, for you must know, William Stryker, that if you've taken my child from me…if our Raine dies tonight, I will find you…and I _will kill_ _you_. Now, _go_."

For a moment, Stryker's eyes widened in absolute terror as he stared at the vengeful god towering over him, but then Charles released him and he fell into the same trance as his men and slowly climbed to his feet, moving to follow Charles' instructions.

Slowly, Charles turned back to Erik, and for a moment, the metal-kine could only stare at him. It wasn't that he didn't feel the same way the telepath did…it was more that it was unsettling to hear such things from him, not knowing whether he would regret them later. Finally, he simply brushed it off and went to Charles, pulling him into his arms and pressing a kiss to his temple as the young professor began to tremble.

"It's all right. It's going to be all right," he attempted to soothe. "Don't think about them. You and I…we need to get down to the medical ward, Moira's already taking care of Destiny and the baby. Raine needs us right now."

"Yes…yes," he mumbled, still in shock. As he allowed Erik to lead him to the stairs, he turned back to all of the others briefly. Sean and Hank were starting to come around, but Artemis and Mystique were both unconscious.

"Bring them…bring them down," he said to Alex and Elsie, who seemed to be the only ones in any condition to lead such an effort. "Their wounds will need to be treated." He knew his sister had something of a healing factor coupled with her power, but her wounds were serious from what he could tell from a cursory glance, and she would need more help than her own cells could provide.

Elsie nodded, knowing somewhere deep inside that she was frightened by what had just happened, but she couldn't think about it now. The children needed her; _Rose_ needed her.

Somewhere in all the commotion, no one had managed to notice that Selene and Wyngarde had disappeared.

XxX

The house at the end of the lane was dark and quiet, the two occupants more than likely sleeping. There was really nothing about the place that made it stand out from any of the others…except for the great tragedy that was about to occur there.

Jason Wyngarde _knew_ there was nothing that could be done to save his life. He and Selene had stayed too long to witness Xavier's near transformation before calling Azazel. He didn't regret it. He felt he had seen something glorious this night…something _easily_ worth dying for. He had witnessed the salvation of their kind…the young god who would save all mutants from the humans. How Charles Xavier was going to accomplish this, he didn't know, nor did he particularly care. He simply _knew_ it was going to happen one day…especially if that power was merely the _tip_ of the iceberg. However, even with this moment of prophetic revelation in his heart, he certainly wasn't going to go on William Stryker's terms. He would have vengeance before he died.

The Hellfire Club had discovered the home address of each man involved in tonight's sting…in case leverage proved to be a necessary tactic. They were familiar with each family member…and William Stryker had a wife and a newborn son, barely even a few months old. Well, as Stryker had ended his future tonight, so too would he take away his future with the last minutes of his life. He would kill the child…and frame his poor mother with the murder, destroying Stryker with one swift blow.

However, as the three hellions appeared in the nursery and Wyngarde staggered his way over to young Jason's cradle, projecting an illusion of peace to his sleeping mother, he began to see things in the child's mind…and his plan began to change.

"The child is a mutant," he told the others as blood trickled from his mouth, "or he will be one day soon. He will manifest early…and he will be like me."

"Another illusionist," Selene said, her expression a hair away from grief, but also hopeful with this news.

"Exactly."

"We will be able to use him," Azazel said, smirking in the darkness.

"For your plans, yes…but _I _will use this child to destroy William Stryker," he said, pressing his thoughts to the infant's developing mind.

_Your parents are evil. Through no fault of your own, they will despise you…poor child. You mustn't give in to them, though. You must fight back, little one. __**Destroy**__ them for their hatred. Remember Jason Wyngarde, my little one,_ he gave the command to the baby, planting the poisonous seed deep in his heart, along with several pieces of his own splintering consciousness. In some strange way, he would live on through Jason Stryker. His father would have no peace while he lived.

"Keep an eye on this boy," he said to Selene as he laid little Jason back in his cradle. "I imagine he'll need your protection someday."

"Jason…" she began quietly as he staggered back toward her, not quite able to finish when he stumbled and she moved forward to catch him.

"Now…my dear…take me into yourself…and carry me with you always."

"I-"

"Selene…we both knew it would come to this someday. You will live…forever…and I would rather rest with you for eternity…than to die unmarked with a human's bullet in my stomach," he grunted out. "Take my life."

"You always were clever. You _knew_ I'd killed every lover before you…before I had to watch them grow old and die, but…none of the others were ever as…_interesting_…as you have been."

"You need…another illusionist, then…perhaps a telepath. Wait until this boy is old enough…or pursue Xavier…if you wish. I'm sure you could…win him…seduce him from Lehnsherr. You would be…the consort…of the man who will lead us into paradise…a position…befitting a goddess. You _must_ have him…my darling," he whispered, his voice getting weaker all the time.

"It should have been the two of us," she said quietly, stroking his dark hair from his eyes so she could gaze into them one last time.

"But…as that can…never be…take my life…and carry it with you…so I might see it someday."

"As you wish," she whispered, pressing her forehead against his. "I will claim Xavier for my own…but know I could never love him as I have loved you…Jason," she whispered as she pressed her lips against his, draining the last of the life from him and extending her own.

She clung to him long after he'd gone. She didn't cry…not anything visible on the surface. She had cried all her tears many hundreds of years ago…but Azazel gave her the time and silence she needed, just the same. He, too, had known loss, and saw nothing shameful in grief.

XxX

The delivery was hard…on both Destiny and Raine. Mystique was able to recover herself enough to be of some comfort to Destiny, and Charles attempted to coax his daughter through the process, but her voice in his head was growing weaker all the time.

_Please…please live,_ he begged her, clinging tightly to Erik as the two of them waited anxiously. When Raine was finally born, though, she didn't cry out as other newborns did, and the look on Dr. Kinross' face was not encouraging as she examined the baby girl.

"Well?" Erik asked when she said nothing, afraid, but needing to know.

"We're…too late," the old Scots woman announced heavily as she clamped the umbilical cord and quickly cut it. "The birth cord was damaged in the fall and…she hasn't had enough oxygen to her brain throughout all of this."

"No," Destiny whispered, tears springing to her eyes.

"There _has_ to be something you can do!" Charles shouted as he tore himself away from Erik, feeling the sting of tears in his own eyes.

"There isn't. If she were a little older, maybe I could, but…there's nothing. She's dying, Charles. There's nothing I can do. I'm sorry."

"_No!_" Charles cried out, seizing the tiny baby from the doctor's arms, sinking slowly to his knees as he held her close. At twenty-eight weeks, she was fully formed…but so very small…barely as big as his forearm. "She's breathing," he cried. "I can hear her breathing."

"It isn't enough," the old doctor explained sadly. "Her lungs probably aren't fully formed yet, and the shock of it…it's too much."

He could hear what she said…and it made perfect sense to the scientist part of his mind…but still, Charles couldn't let her go. This was his _daughter_…his baby girl…and he was holding her in his arms, all covered in blood and other birth fluids. He just couldn't let her die like this. Desperately, he reached out for her mind with his own.

_Raine! Raine, please! Don't die! Don't leave me! We love you so much…your Papa and I. Don't you want to see your Papa?_

_Daddy?_ She cried out, her small voice fading ever faster into oblivion. _It hurts. Please…make the hurt stop. I don't feel good, Daddy._

"Don't die!" he cried aloud, tears streaming down his face. "_Don't die!_"

She tried to answer him. He could feel her trying so hard, but then…the pain just stopped.

_NO! _he screamed no longer certain if he spoke or only thought. Even then, he would not let go. He followed her mind even deeper into the darkness…deeper than he'd ever gone before. _He can see her now…older…a toddler with lovely dark ringlets curling in her eyes…beautiful…perfect…but she's crawling away from him._

"_Wait…wait…my baby, please wait!" he calls after her, running to catch up to her…but he can't reach her. "Where are you going? Raine! Oh…don't! **Don't go!**"_

_Suddenly, a pair of strong arms lift the little girl and she giggles happily as their owner cradles her close. The man is Keoni…Pele's father._

"_We will take care of your child, Charles…as you've taken care of my own dear girl."_

"_But-"_

"_Charles," a woman's voice begins. Then Erik's mother is standing beside Keoni, gently taking her grandchild into her arms. "Please be comforted in knowing that for us and this precious child…all is well. Now, please, return to life…and to my son. He needs you."_

"_Annika, wait!" he cries out, moving to follow them. "I'll go **with** you!"_

"_Stop," another voice orders firmly as an arm is thrown across his chest, blocking his way. _

"_Darwin?" he whispers in shock when he glances to his side to find the slender black man staring him down evenly._

"_It's not your time yet, man. Go back. There are so many people who still need you…lost kids…like we used to be. There's so much for you to do. You **have** to go back," he says as he moves to join them._

"_No! Wait! Don't take my baby away from me!" he cries, still reaching out for her._

_**Go back,**__ he hears her voice in his head for the last time as the little girl turns to look at him, smiling sadly. __**Go back, Daddy. Go back to Papa. He's crying for you right now. We shouldn't **_both _**make him sad. I love you both. Please, Daddy…go back to my papa.**_

"_Erik…" he whispers. He can almost swear he hears his lover calling to him…and that lapse in concentration is all it takes. They begin to slip away from him._

"_Wait! Please! __**NOO!**__" he screams…_and found himself back in the medical ward, clutching his daughter to his chest…her own chest still. Slowly, he realized that Erik was there with him, holding both him and Raine close to him. He made no sound, but Charles could feel the teardrops that weren't his falling onto his face.

"She…she's gone, Erik," he sobbed, leaning against him for comfort. "I don't hear her voice anymore."

"At least…_you're_ still here," he mumbled into his hair. "I know…you tried to follow her…to bring her back."

"Our Raine…our little girl…is with Darwin…Keoni…and Annika…"

They didn't know how long they knelt like that, holding their baby's tiny body and weeping quietly…helplessly. The one to finally break the moment of unimaginable grief was Elsie. She knelt in front of them, holding out a clean white blanket.

"Here," she offered. "You have to let her go, Charles. You have to let her rest."

Slowly, reluctantly, Charles passed their little girl over to Elsie, who gently wrapped her in the blanket, as if she were only sleeping…not that she would never wake again.

The two bereft parents knelt together a while longer, just clinging to each other, but after a time, a great rage suddenly rose up inside of Charles as a thought wormed its way into his mind. Slowly, he extricated himself from his lover and got to his feet, turning enraged eyes on the precog still lying in the hospital bed. She had delivered the afterbirth and her mother was currently working to stanch the flow of blood from her body. Mystique was standing beside her, holding her hand, soothing her, but Charles didn't think she deserved soothing just now. Destiny was the first to notice him.

"You might have said something," he hissed, his voice low and thick with pain and accusation.

"Charles, not now," Mystique tried to reprimand him.

"_Yes, now!_" he shouted. "You couldn't find _one spare minute_ to mention that _our daughter_ was going to die?"

"I did try," Destiny said softly, looking up at the ceiling. "Originally, she would have died when Stryker put the blade through my stomach. We did manage to delay it…but it seems we couldn't prevent it."

"Why are you angry at _her_, Charles? You know she can't just blab about the future to anyone," Mystique defended.

"Forgive me, _baby_ sister, but she blabs to _you_ all the time. I'm angry," he continued, turning his focus back to Destiny, "because you actually allowed us to believe we would be able to have her, even though you _knew_…this whole time…what was going to happen to her."

"What was I supposed to say? Don't do it? It won't work?"

"I don't…I don't know," Charles finally admitted turning helplessly away from her. This was anger and sorrow on a level he'd never experienced. Never before had he lost someone he loved. His and Erik's baby girl was dead…through no fault of her own…and he couldn't help feeling that _someone_ should be punished for it. The trouble was he didn't know if that someone should be Stryker, Destiny…or himself.

"Would it help if I told you…the next one will live?" Destiny offered weakly.

"Next…one…?" Charles murmured stupidly, not comprehending. Suddenly, he felt Erik's hands on his shoulders.

"There will…be another one?" he heard him asking, the tone of hardly-daring-to-hope in his voice matching the feelings in his own heart.

"Yes…just as soon as Mum says I'm ready to try again. It will be…a boy this time…and he will live," she said softly.

Charles really didn't know _what_ to say to this. On the one hand, if Destiny said it, it would almost certainly be so…but on the other, he couldn't help but be afraid that the loss would happen again. It was still so fresh and raw, it seemed it would always fill his heart with pain. He didn't think he could bear it a second time…to lose a child.

"Let us…let us grieve for her," he finally managed to whisper, clinging tightly to Erik, who clung just as tightly back. "She was our daughter…and even if it was only for a few minutes…she was alive. I heard her…and felt her. She was so…beautiful…and no one can ever replace her."

"No one would try to," Elsie reassured him.

"I'm…going to take him to bed. He needs to rest," Erik said, beginning to lead the shell-shocked telepath out.

"You _both_ do," Dr. Kinross advised.

"You'll…take care of them?" Erik asked her, nodding his head at Mystique and Artemis.

"Absolutely, just as soon as I'm done here. You two go and rest. You need it. I'll see you're not disturbed."

"Thank you," Charles murmured, unable to look back at any of them as the door closed behind him and Erik.

XxX

The _Maharani_ had been waiting just off the Virginia coast to hear word of the operation, but when Selene and Azazel returned with news of Wyngarde's death and Blindfold confirmed that Erik and Charles' daughter had, in fact, died, Shaw stormed off in his own semi-quiet brand of anger to break into his private store of brandy. The others slowly trickled away from the top deck until only Emma and Blindfold remained.

"So…his plot failed," Emma said calmly as she moved to pour herself a drink.

"Completely," Blindfold said casually. "It might have worked…were it not for the child's death. He'd intended to drive a wedge between the two, but thanks to this tragedy, I would say their union is stronger than ever. Are you sure you want to be drinking that?" she asked just as the telepath raised the tumbler of bourbon to her lips. Laughing bitterly, Emma shook her head and tossed the liqueur into the ocean.

"No…I guess not. So you know about that, eh, sugar? Heh, who am I kidding? Of _course_ you know. You probably know what I'm going to name it, too."

"Them," Blindfold corrected; Emma's eyes widened slightly. "Only a month along, their minds aren't developed enough for you to sense there are two of them."

"Twins, then," Emma said, resisting the urge to sigh. She was really wishing she hadn't thrown that drink away right about now.

"And you're not planning on telling Sebastian you're pregnant with his children?"

"Before what happened with Pele, I might have…and he would have told me either he _wanted_ a few heirs, or we would have had a good laugh over it and I would have had an abortion."

"But that was before," Blindfold supplied.

"Yes. In the past, I might have been able to hide it from him if I'd wanted to, but now there's that damned helmet. I don't even know how it happened. Maybe the rubber tore, damn thing was expired or something. I'd never even _wanted_ kids before…"

"But then Pele came along…and you don't want what happened to her to happen to them, so you don't want Sebastian to have them. You believe in his ideals, but you don't want _them_ to be a part of it."

"Something like that," she said, fiddling with the empty tumbler. "Why am I even _having_ this conversation with you?"

"Because you know I already know…and there's no one else you _can_ talk to."

"You're probably right. I take it _you_ won't be telling him, either?"

"Exactly…just like I won't tell him Iolana Kainoa's still alive…or why every time Wyngarde, Selene, or Azazel was going to tell him she was still alive, they simply…forgot."

"I suppose I should thank you for that."

"No thanks needed. Despite what Sebastian may think, I am no kept thing. I am _not_ his new Pele."

"I'd really like to be there when he finds that out. He a little too overconfident sometimes…especially now, with that _helmet_."

"Oh, you'll be there," Blindfold reassured her. "You'll be there."

XxX

Even though it had only been a few hours since the two mutants had sprinted from their bedroom, it felt more like a lifetime had passed since then. It felt as if the two of them had grown old in the course of just one night.

Erik had managed to lead Charles to within sight of their bed, but quite suddenly, he stopped, unable to move another step forward. It was as if the grief smashed against him in one sudden, terrible blow, and he sank to his knees under the weight of it. Charles was right there with him.

"Erik…Erik?" he called out, reaching out to touch his cheek. Slowly, Erik reached up his own hand to touch Charles', his grey eyes reflecting the years of hardship and heartbreak.

"All my life…all my life…I've watched them kill everyone I love," he whispered, leaning heavily into the touch.

"Oh…darling…my darling…"

"This precious girl…our baby…this _angel_…why…_why_ did they have to kill her, too?" he wondered fruitlessly, his voice tight as his throat closed around a sob. "Why must we fight for the right to live…over and over…God! Why don't they just leave us alone? _Why don't they let us live?_" he cried out, great, heaving sobs racking his shoulders as the tears finally began to fall in earnest.

Erik cried as he had not cried since his mother's death, giving voice to years of anguish in one awful swoop. Charles held him tightly and they wept together, away from prying eyes, their grief for their baby girl seemingly boundless. Neither of them had an answer…a reason _why_…but _no one_ had any kind of answer for that.

By the time they had cried all their tears, the sun had already risen. So Erik used his power to draw the thick curtains shut, leaving them in comforting darkness as they dragged themselves miserably into bed.

"Did you mean what you said?" Erik began to ask once they were securely wrapped in each other's arms. "About killing him?"

For once in his life, Charles Xavier actually had to _think_ about such a question. However, when he reached for the rage and hate he'd felt earlier, he found they weren't there anymore. All he could feel now was a hollow, aching sadness that tore relentlessly at the walls of his heart.

"No," he finally whispered. "I can't…muster my hate anymore…not after Raine."

Strangely enough, Erik found that his own feelings matched Charles' at that moment. His own ever-present anger and hate had gone, leaving only horrible sorrow in their wake. He knew his hate would return; it always did. It had been burned into him too deeply to vanish so easily…but for now, he could at least feel with his lover, and they could suffer through their pain together.

"You almost died with her," Erik whispered back, hugging Charles a little tighter. "You were…so cold…"

"I'm sorry. I didn't…mean to worry you. I just couldn't…let her go. I couldn't stop myself. Erik, I…I saw something…down there."

"What did you see?" the metal-kine asked calmly as he stroked the telepath's hair, though he felt he already knew, judging from the way the man had been after snapping out of his trance.

"I'm not sure. I thought I saw…your mother…and Darwin and Keoni…and they said…they would take care of Raine. I don't know. Maybe I was starting to hallucinate. Maybe I saw what I _wanted_ to see."

"Or maybe it really happened," Erik suggested, kissing Charles' forehead. "Maybe our little raindrop really is with Mama."

"God…I want…_so much_ to believe that," Charles mumbled, burying his face in Erik's chest. "So much…if anyone deserves a heaven…it's her…our Liebkind."

XxX

The funeral wasn't held until much later that week, as Charles and Erik spent much of that time sleeping, and Destiny, Mystique, and Artemis needed about that much time to recuperate suitably.

They chose a garden that was a little farther off from the main house, so she wouldn't be disturbed once they started taking on more students. The sleepy autumn beauty of the garden contrasted sharply with their somber group of mourners, but Charles and Erik thought it only right that their daughter should rest somewhere beautiful and peaceful.

Artemis had fashioned a headstone with her powers. It read simply 'Raine Annika Xavier – 1963' at the top. The smaller words at the bottom read "Everything that grows holds in perfection but a little moment."

There wasn't much of a service, just a small gathering to lay the baby girl to rest and to say goodbye.

Once the grave was filled in, the others all had their own words to say about how much they'd been looking forward to seeing her, how much she would be missed, and how it wasn't fair. Ultimately, they all drifted back to the mansion, leaving Charles and Erik alone to say goodbye to their little girl.

Charles slowly moved to his knees beside the grave, mindless of the nice suit he was wearing. As he rested a hand on the headstone, Erik's hand came to rest on his shoulder.

"You can't know how much we'll miss you, dear heart," he said, his voice high and thin. "I don't know…what I saw that night, but I hope, for your sake, that there is an afterlife…and that you'll be an angel there…our little angel. We promise we'll bring your little brother to see you," he said, a single tear trailing down his cheek. Slowly moving to kneel beside him, Erik gazed steadily at Charles for a moment. It was the first time Charles had ever said aloud that he would go along with Destiny's plan.

"We love you," he said before Charles could break down completely. "We love you so much, Liebkind."

"Yes," Charles said, leaning forward to gently kiss the stone. "We will _always_ love you…your papa and I…Oh, God," he finally cried, turning his head to rest on Erik's shoulder as the tears finally began to fall quietly down his face. Erik wrapped his arms around the telepath's shaking shoulders as he turned his eyes to the sky.

_Um sie kümmern, Mama._

"Good...goodbye, Raine," Charles whispered.

The two of them had been living in a blur all week. Kneeling here over their daughter's grave suddenly made the whole situation a thousand times more real. Being able to properly say goodbye to her, though, made them both feel just a tiny bit better.

It still hurt. _God_, but it hurt…but maybe, if that hurt could be soothed in small bits like this…day by day, month by month…maybe it would get better?

XxX

_Ten months later…_

It hadn't been easy. No one had expected it to be easy. The only easy part had been getting Destiny pregnant again, as they'd already figured out how that worked. Really, she ought to have waited a few more months, but she knew when the proper time was, so they'd seized the opportunity.

If Charles and Erik had been protective before, during this pregnancy, they were downright paranoid. Destiny wasn't allowed to leave the estate, rarely even the mansion. Working with Dr. Kinross, Erik and Charles planned out a very specialized diet for her. Once the third trimester rolled around, sex and other strenuous activities were forbidden under no uncertain terms, which Mystique complained loudly and bitterly about, but that Destiny bore with silence and patience. It was only right, after all, that Charles and Erik have absolute say in her daily life after the events of the past year. Her acceptance of the situation was her atonement.

This child was not a telepath, but Charles could still communicate with him once his mind had developed enough. The communication wasn't as clear as it had been with Raine, but he could still check on him, get to know him. At times, though, he felt that he and Erik were almost…afraid to get close to their son. They and Raine had been so thoroughly tied together, the loss of her had nearly killed them. Destiny constantly reassured them, but they couldn't help but be afraid they would somehow lose this boy, too. He remained nameless throughout the entire pregnancy. His name didn't come to either parent in a sudden flash of brilliance as Raine's had. They simply referred to him as 'baby' or 'Liebkind.' They'd tried to talk about names a time or two, but found that the words just wouldn't come.

If the year before had been bad for the two fathers as far as nightmares went, the ensuing ten months following the attack were even worse. Not only were they haunted by memories of death camps, Shaw, Cain, and Onslaught; now they had to contend with nightmares of their home under attack…of the way Wyngarde had nearly turned them against one another…of losing their son…and a dream of a little girl with grey eyes and lovely brown curls whom they both knew would forever haunt their sleep.

Life went on around them. Pele served her full year and earned the right to have her powers back, deciding that she _would_ remain with them after all. Dr. Kinross returned to Scotland, but Alistair returned to visit often, sometimes to check up on Destiny, but mostly to see Elsie. Haley came to visit more often after Chris head off to basic training. Life was happening around them, but for some reason, it almost seemed to Erik and Charles that the two of them were frozen in time…waiting anxiously for the birth of their son. As such, one night late in July, when the baby was already two weeks overdue, Charles woke instantly when he heard Destiny calling to him in his mind.

_Charles?_

_What? What is it?_ He asked urgently as he shot up in bed.

_You and Erik need to come down. The contractions are getting pretty close together now._

_You're sure?_ Charles asked as he shook Erik awake.

_Did you really just ask __**me**__ if I was sure?_ She returned with a teasing chuckle.

_Why didn't you tell us when the contractions first started?_ He demanded in an accusing sort of way, sharing the conversation with Erik as the two of them struggled to find some clothing in the dark.

_Thought I'd let you have a little more sleep. It's going to be a long night, after all. Mystique's helping me down to the med ward now and…oh, there goes my water,_ she noted casually.

"_What?_" Charles shouted, both in his head and aloud.

_Better hurry._

"Damn it," he muttered, grabbing Erik and dragging him out of the room, even though they'd both only managed to find a pair of pants at this point.

Moira already had Destiny lying down with her legs spread by the time they got there. Alistair had flown the doctor in a few weeks before her daughter was due so that she might be on hand to assist. Skilled as Hank was in the medical arts, delivering babies was something he'd never done before.

"How dilated is she?" Charles asked the woman as she bustled about, getting things ready.

"About six centimeters."

"My God, Destiny, you're nearly halfway through labor already. Why didn't you say anything at dinner?"

"Didn't want to add to your worry anymore than I had to. You've got a few hours to wait as it is."

"We were worried already," Charles ground out, running a hand through his hair in exasperation.

"Give it a rest, both of you," Moira chided. "We're in for a long night and the bickering isn't going to make things go any faster. You two," she ordered Charles and Erik, "take a seat over there. If Hank and I need your help, we'll let you know."

Each grumbling in his own way, the two men did as she asked, taking seats and beginning the long, impatient wait of the father-to-be.

_How's it going down there?_ Pele's voice suddenly sounded in his head.

_As well as can be expected. Destiny's spreading the word, I take it._

_Just to me so far. Do you not want me to tell the others?_

_Do what you want. We're in for a long wait either way._

Pele didn't respond to this, but as the time passed, he began to sense the mansion's other inhabitants waking. Eventually, he felt them all gathered outside the ward. He chuckled softly.

"We've got quite an audience building outside."

"Don't see why," Erik growled. "There isn't really anything to see yet."

Hearing this, Hank rolled his eyes. "Nothing to see, he says," he said in a harried tone.

"The baby's starting to crown, if you'd like to see," Moira offered, moving aside. Both of them quickly jumped up…and quickly found it was not a sight for the squeamish. It _looked_ painful, but Destiny assured all of them she couldn't feel much. Her mother had had time to properly drug her this time.

It didn't take long after the crowning for things to really get moving. Destiny really felt the stretch of her body as she began the final round of pushing. Mystique supported her by the shoulders and allowed her to squeeze one of her hands, bearing the pressure with only a grunt and murmured encouragements. Erik and Charles both hovered anxiously around Dr. Kinross before she gave them both a decisive shove back, returning intently to the task at hand. It wasn't long before the shrill cries of a newborn split the air.

"The kid's got some lungs on him," Erik commented casually, but his face was all relieved smile as Moira lifted the little boy up while Hank moved in to clamp the umbilical cord and cut the tie between him and Destiny.

"Is he all right?" Charles asked, smiling, but still anxious.

"Absolutely. He's healthy," Moira said, chuckling as she moved to clean the baby. "He's just scared, probably hungry, too."

Unfortunately, it wasn't just cleaning that needed to be done. Moira and Hank had to run several tests to make sure the boy was, in fact, healthy, but once this had been conclusively determined, it wasn't long before he was wrapped in a soft blue blanket and placed in Charles' arms.

"Charles Xavier, meet your son," Moira announced proudly, "…who is still wanting a name, I might point out."

Charles nodded slowly, not really hearing her. At the moment, his entire world consisted of the baby boy in his arms. He had stopped all-out bawling and had fallen back on soft cries and hiccups. His eyes were the same blue all babies' were and there was already a coating of dark brown fuzz atop his head. He was not as small as…Raine had been, but he was still very tiny. Everything about him was absolutely perfect. Charles held the baby boy close to his heart, leaning down to nuzzle him.

_My son…my boy…_

Charles continued in this behavior until something warm touched his shoulder. He looked up to see Moira holding out a bottle of milk to him.

"He needs to eat," she reminded him.

Nodding quickly, Charles settled the baby's warm weight in one arm before taking the bottle. Gently, he offered the nipple to his son and the boy latched on as if for dear life, suckling greedily on the warm milk.

"Oh," Charles laughed at the sight, feeling the smile on his face.

"What are we going to call him?" he heard Erik asking him as the metal-kine wrapped his arms around his waist and rested his head on his shoulder. Charles leaned gratefully against him as they watched their little one drink his fill. The telepath thought for several minutes before the name slipped out of his mouth, almost without him realizing it.

"Eric."

"What?"

"That's his name…Eric."

The older mutant stepped back from his lover, blinking in confusion for several minutes. "I hope you're not trying to say you see _me_ in him."

"Erik, he isn't even an hour old yet. I don't see anyone in him. I don't know how to explain it, but his name's Eric."

"Well…we could just as easily name him Charles," Erik tried to argue.

"We don't need two Charles Xaviers, my love. He will be Eric Xavier…the two of us together."

"Charles, I…we…we really _shouldn't_…name him after me."

"And I think we should," Charles said primly, as if it decided the whole matter. Erik sighed.

"I guess there's little sense in arguing the point," he said, throwing the half-question in Destiny's direction.

"None at all," she said, leaning back into the nest of pillows Mystique had set up for her. "That's his name."

"Damn," the metal-kine growled, a slightly playful edge to his voice. "I guess I'll just have to get used to it."

"Would you like to hold your son, Erik?" Charles asked, sounding almost shy. Little Eric had drained nearly the whole bottle and had seemingly grown tired of it. Erik himself was almost hesitant. He loved this little boy, yes, but should someone like him…have any contact with something so pure and good?

_Someone like __**you?**_Charles' voice sounded in his head. _What's __**that**__ supposed to mean?_

_You __**know**__, Charles. I've done things…__**horrible**__ things…_

_What you did in the past doesn't matter. All I care about is that you're here now…and you love me…and you love our son. Nothing else matters but this moment._

Swallowing heavily, Erik nodded, holding out his arms for the baby, mimicking Charles' hold from earlier as the telepath settled him into his embrace. Briefly, Eric squirmed, not liking the sudden shift, but soon growing used to it. Wriggling some more, he actually managed to get an arm free of the blanket and reached for the only thing his weak eyes could properly see…the shiny pendant resting on his father's chest.

The pendant looked much different now than it had nearly a year ago. The disk had been slightly bowed out of shape from where the bullet had smashed into it, and the bullet itself was still there, fused to the metal surface. Most of the text that had originally been on the charm had also been obscured by the bullet. The only line that remained visible was the last one: _But do not doubt I love._

Charles had often offered to have another one made, but Erik kept insisting he didn't mind it. It seemed almost poetic in a way.

The young professor grinned from ear to ear as he watched his two precious Eriks. That was also the moment he remembered something important.

"One more thing before we let the others see him," he said, leaning down to give little Eric a kiss on the cheek, then standing on tip-toe to press a kiss to his father's lips. "Happy birthday, darling."

"W-what?" he stuttered, not sure he was understanding the foreign phrase.

"I know you said you'd forgotten when it was, but I did some digging. I knew it had to be somewhere in that thick skull of yours. July 21st…that's the day you were born. I was going to surprise you in the morning, but…well…surprise," he offered with a tiny grin. "It's our little one's birthday now, too."

"Couldn't have asked for a better birthday present," he said softly, resting his forehead against Charles'. "Danke, mein Lieben."

"Hey," Mystique suddenly cut in on the three of them. "If you want to let the others see him, you'd better do it fast. He's totally conking out on you guys over there."

Indeed, the baby boy was quickly nodding off. Charles smiled as he tucked little Eric's wayward arm back into the blanket. "Well, I suppose we can let them see him…but only if they promise to be very quiet."

Dr. Kinross sighed knowingly as she glanced over at the two new parents, shaking her head. "Trust me, laddie, with a wee bairn like _that_, there is no such thing as quiet."

XxX

(A/N) Well, I guess I lied a little bit about the fluff thing, but I had to give you _something_ to go out on after _that_. I suppose I'm incapable of doing straight fluff. Eheh.

Translation: Um sie kümmern, Mama = Take care of her, Mama...at least I hope that's what it means.

As of right now, I don't know what I'm going to call the next story, but it shouldn't be too long before I come out with it. Until then, stay classy.


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